Dear fellow neurodivergent parent,

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your child’s stimming or wondered about your own habits and mental health—like tapping, pacing, or humming—this is for you. Stimming isn’t something to fear or fix. It’s as normal for neurodivergent individuals as breathing, and embracing it can help us thrive as parents, partners, and individuals.

Let’s explore what stimming is, why it’s so important, and how we can reduce the shame and stigma around it—for ourselves and our kids.

What Is Stimming?

Stimming, short for “self-stimulatory behavior,” refers to repetitive actions that help regulate emotions or sensory experiences. For neurodivergent individuals, stimming is a natural and meaningful way to:

• Find calm during overwhelming moments.

• Process sensory input in a world that can feel too loud or chaotic.

• Express emotions when words aren’t enough.

Some common examples of stimming include:

• Hand-flapping or finger-tapping

• Rocking back and forth

• Twirling hair or spinning objects

• Repeating words or phrases (echolalia)

• Playing with sensory toys like fidgets

Why Do Neurodivergent Individuals Stim?

Stimming helps the brain regulate itself, much like taking deep breaths when stressed. For neurodivergent individuals, it can serve a variety of purposes:

1. Regulating Sensory Input

The neurodivergent brain processes sensory input differently. Stimming helps block out overwhelming sensations or provides the stimulation needed to stay focused.

2. Managing Emotions

Big feelings—whether they’re joy, anxiety, or frustration—can feel even bigger for neurodivergent people. Stimming helps release and balance these emotions.

3. Communicating Needs

For individuals who are nonverbal or struggle with emotional expression, stimming can be a way to communicate: I’m excited, I’m stressed, or I need space.

How Does Stimming Impact Mental Health?

When embraced, stimming has many positive effects on mental health. However, societal misunderstanding and stigma can create challenges.

The Positives

• Stress Relief: Stimming acts as a natural stress reliever, like a built-in coping mechanism.

• Focus and Grounding: It helps redirect attention and provides comfort in high-pressure situations.

• Self-Expression: Stimming can be joyful and empowering, offering a way to feel connected to your body and emotions.

The Challenges

The real problem isn’t stimming—it’s how the world reacts to it. Misunderstanding, judgment, and pressure to “stop” stimming can lead to:

• Shame and Anxiety: Feeling judged for stimming can cause self-doubt and emotional distress.

• Masking Behavior: Suppressing stimming to fit in can result in burnout, sensory overload, and emotional dysregulation.

How to Reduce Shame Around Stimming

Here’s the good news: you have the power to create a world where stimming is accepted and celebrated—starting in your own home.

1. Normalize Stimming

Talk about stimming as a natural and healthy behavior. Explain to your kids (and remind yourself!) that it’s their body’s way of taking care of them.

2. Create Safe Stimming Spaces

Make sure your home, school, or work environment allows for stimming without judgment. This might mean giving your child access to sensory tools or advocating for understanding with teachers and caregivers.

3. Reframe Stimming as a Superpower

Instead of seeing stimming as a distraction or “quirk,” celebrate it as a strength. It’s a tool that helps neurodivergent individuals process the world in their own unique way.

4. Use Tools and Resources

Fidget toys, weighted blankets, and other sensory-friendly items can make stimming more accessible and enjoyable.

My Journey as a Neurodivergent Mom

I’ll be honest—embracing stimming hasn’t always been easy. Growing up, I was told to “stop fidgeting” or “sit still,” and I carried that shame for years. But as I learned more about my neurodivergent brain, I realized stimming wasn’t something to hide—it was a way to thrive.

Now, as a mom, I let my kids see me stim. When I tap my fingers during a tough moment or hum to calm myself, I’m showing them it’s okay to regulate their emotions in their own way. In turn, they’ve felt freer to flap, spin, and stim without fear of judgment.

Additional Resources for Parents

If you’d like to learn more about stimming and how to support neurodivergent individuals, here are some helpful tools:

• Books:

• Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Barry M. Prizant

• NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman

• Online Communities:

• Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN)

• ADDitude Magazine

• Sensory Tools:

• Fidget spinners, chewable jewelry, and noise-canceling headphones are widely available online and in stores.

Stimming Is a Superpower, Not a Problem

Here’s the truth: stimming is as normal as breathing. It’s not something we need to fix or hide—it’s a vital part of how neurodivergent individuals thrive.

When we embrace stimming as a strength, we create a world where neurodivergent people feel safe, accepted, and celebrated—for exactly who they are.

With love and understanding,

Jamie

If you’re anything like me—or the high-achieving women I work with—you’ve probably set a resolution for this year that feels deeply personal:

• Heal from the mental load that’s keeping you stuck.

• Stop second-guessing yourself at work and at home.

• Finally feel good enough.

But with so many demands pulling you in every direction—work deadlines, parenting challenges, and the constant pressure to be everything for everyone—it’s easy to feel like your resolution is already slipping through your fingers.

What if I told you there’s a way to experience the kind of shift you’re longing for—quickly and deeply? No dragging it out over months of therapy. No “just one more thing” on your to-do list. Just you, a focused weekend, and real, lasting breakthroughs.

This is the power of EMDR intensives.

Why EMDR Works for Women Like You

As a high-achieving woman, you’ve likely spent years powering through tough moments, holding it all together, and pushing down the pain of never quite feeling “enough.” EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a proven approach to help you process unresolved trauma, perfectionism, and negative beliefs that keep you stuck in cycles of anxiety, burnout, or self-doubt.

And while traditional therapy can feel like a slow drip of relief, EMDR intensives offer a focused, accelerated path to healing—perfect for women who need results without adding to their already-full schedules.

How EMDR Intensives Work for Busy, High-Achieving Women

1. Condensed Transformation in a Fraction of the Time:

Weekly therapy can feel like a long, winding road that competes with everything else in your life. EMDR intensives condense months of therapy into one weekend of focused attention, allowing you to clear out emotional clutter and make space for the things that really matter.

2. Immediate Results You Can Feel:

Whether it’s shedding the weight of impostor syndrome, releasing the fear of letting someone down, or breaking free from overwhelm, you’ll leave the weekend feeling lighter, more grounded, and ready to take on your life with clarity and confidence.

3. Designed for High Achieving Women Who Do It All:

You’re not here for vague advice or one-size-fits-all solutions. EMDR intensives are tailored specifically to your needs—your struggles, your goals, your vision for who you want to be.

4. A Fresh Start That Lasts All Year:

Instead of spinning your wheels or waiting for change to come, you’ll build momentum that carries you through the year with purpose and strength. The tools you gain during your intensive will help you keep moving forward—long after the weekend ends.

This Is Your Year to Finally Feel Free

If you’ve spent years holding onto patterns that no longer serve you—perfectionism, people-pleasing, constantly running on empty—this is your chance to let it go. In just one weekend, you can take a major step toward healing the wounds that hold you back and reconnecting with the woman you know you’re meant to be.

This isn’t about adding one more thing to your plate. It’s about giving yourself the permission to finally let go of what’s keeping you stuck.

You’ve spent so much time doing it all for everyone else.

Are you ready to check off your most important resolution and step into 2025 with clarity, confidence, and freedom? Let’s talk about how an EMDR intensive can help you start this year on your terms.

As a neurodivergent mom navigating the ups and downs of parenting, I’ve personally experienced how life-changing Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can be. EMDR therapy gave me the tools to process my past, calm my nervous system, and show up as the mindful parent I’ve always wanted to be. For neurodivergent moms and other individuals like me, who often feel overstimulated and overwhelmed, EMDR offers a path to healing that feels safe, supportive, and empowering.

What Is EMDR?

EMDR is a therapy designed to help people process and release distressing memories. It uses guided movements, like following a therapist’s fingers, or other forms of bilateral stimulation to help the brain “reorganize” how it stores past experiences. It’s been widely studied for trauma, but recent research is shining a light on its potential benefits for neurodivergent individuals, including those with ADHD and autism.

Benefits of EMDR for Neurodivergent Individuals

1. Emotional Regulation
   For neurodivergent moms, processing emotions can sometimes feel like navigating a storm. EMDR helps calm those emotional waves by addressing the root of the distress. I found it transformative in helping me respond rather than react during challenging parenting moments.
2. Reduction in Anxiety and Stress
   EMDR can help untangle the web of anxiety that many neurodivergent people face daily. By reprocessing triggering memories, EMDR can reduce the weight of worry and create space for a greater sense of peace.
3. Improved Focus and Clarity
   For those with ADHD, unresolved stress or trauma can make it harder to focus. EMDR helps clear mental clutter, allowing individuals to approach tasks with a clearer mind.
4. Boosted Confidence and Self-Worth
   Negative self-talk can be a constant companion for neurodivergent individuals. EMDR replaces those intrusive thoughts with healthier, affirming beliefs. Personally, it’s helped me shift from “I’m not good enough” to “I am more than enough.”
5. Stronger Relationships
   As a mom, I’ve seen firsthand how EMDR has made me more present and connected with my kids. Many neurodivergent individuals also find it helps reduce social anxiety, making it easier to connect with others.

How EMDR Can Be Adapted for Neurodivergent Individuals

The neurodivergent brain is beautifully unique, and EMDR works best when tailored to each person’s needs. Here are some ways therapists can adapt EMDR for neurodivergent individuals:

• Clear and Simple Communication
  Therapists can explain EMDR techniques in plain language and use visual aids to help individuals understand the process.
• Sensory Sensitivity Awareness
  Creating a sensory-friendly environment—whether that means dimming lights or avoiding certain sounds—can make the experience more comfortable.

• Building Trust
  A strong therapeutic relationship is key. This means therapists need to meet clients where they are and move at a pace that feels right.

Potential Challenges and How to Address Them

While EMDR is incredibly effective, neurodivergent individuals might face unique challenges:

• Communication Differences
  Some neurodivergent individuals may struggle to articulate their feelings or experiences. A therapist skilled in alternative communication methods can bridge this gap.
• Sensory Overload
  The bilateral stimulation used in EMDR can sometimes feel overwhelming. Therapists can modify techniques to suit sensory preferences, such as using gentle tapping instead of eye movements.

By being aware of these potential challenges, EMDR therapists can ensure that neurodivergent individuals feel supported and understood throughout their healing journey.

The Personal Impact of EMDR for Neurodivergent Moms

As a neurodivergent mom, my EMDR sessions felt like peeling back layers of doubt, fear, and overwhelm to uncover the confident, mindful parent within. It’s helped me stay present during meltdowns, embrace imperfection, and give my kids the unconditional love they deserve.

If you’re a neurodivergent individual considering EMDR, know that it’s more than a therapy—it’s a gift to yourself and those you love.