For many adults diagnosed with AuDHD—a co-occurrence of Autism and ADHD—the journey to self-understanding often begins with confusion, exhaustion, and a deep sense of being at odds with oneself. At our practice, we’ve worked with countless late-diagnosed clients who finally find language for a lifelong inner tug-of-war.
This article explores the common experiences of individuals living with AuDHD, particularly the emotional and cognitive tension between two very different neurotypes—ADHD’s need for novelty and stimulation vs. Autism’s deep craving for stability and routine.
The Push-Pull of AuDHD
One of our clients described it this way:
“Before I learned I was AuDHD, I couldn’t understand why I sought out stimulation and spontaneity with such intensity—yet fell apart as soon as I had too much of it. It was a cycle of chase and crash, over and over again.”
This is a core dilemma for individuals with AuDHD. On one hand, ADHD brains crave excitement, spontaneity, and newness. On the other, Autistic brains seek predictability, sensory calm, and familiarity. When these needs collide, it can feel impossible to meet the demands of both.
Common Patterns We See in AuDHD Clients
Through our work with late-diagnosed women navigating AuDHD, several patterns have emerged:
ADHD's Influence:
- Difficulty tolerating empty space or unscheduled time
- Impulsive decision-making—especially around social or professional opportunities
- An “interest-based nervous system” that drives hyperfocus or overcommitment
Autism’s Needs:
- Overwhelm and sensory exhaustion after too much engagement
- A desire for routine, downtime, and solo processing time
- Susceptibility to Autistic burnout when overstimulated for too long
One client shared that her calendar looked like a battlefield between her two neurotypes—ADHD filling it up, and Autism praying for rest.
Building a Life That Honors Both Neurotypes
At our practice, we support clients in recognizing and honoring both sides of their neurodivergent wiring. Strategies often include:
- Boundary work: Learning to say no more frequently, especially to impulsive yeses driven by ADHD
- Sensory regulation: Developing routines for self-soothing and recovery
- Intentional decision-making: Creating space between opportunity and response
- Structured spontaneity: Allowing for novelty within predictable containers
Clients report that understanding their AuDHD profile allows them to replace self-judgment with self-compassion—and begin building a life that supports both neurotypes.
If This Resonates…
You’re not alone. If you suspect you may be living with AuDHD, or are newly diagnosed and seeking tools to navigate the push-pull of dual neurodivergence, we’re here to help.
Our providers specialize in working with late-diagnosed neurodivergent adults, including those with Autism, ADHD, and AuDHD. We understand the nuances—and we can walk alongside you as you create a life that truly fits.
👉 Book a session with a neurodivergent-informed therapist today.
Let’s build clarity, capacity, and calm—together.
Sending Love & Light,
Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW