First responders face highly stressful and risky situations every day. The life of a first responder is demanding, and the toll it takes can be profound. Living with the symptoms of unprocessed trauma, such as depression, stress, posttraumatic stress, suicidal ideation, and various functional and relational conditions, can feel like an unending battle.
The weight of these symptoms can make you feel:
- Overwhelmed by the relentless stress and trauma.
- Isolated from loved ones and colleagues who may not understand.
- Trapped in a cycle of darkness, affecting every aspect of your life.
Our team at Long Island EMDR provides specialized treatment for first responders dealing with the symptoms mentioned earlier. We understand what you are going through and know how challenging it can be. You are not alone, and we are here to help you find a path forward.
Picture a life where you:
- Conquer the demons of trauma and stress.
- Regain your emotional balance and vitality.
- Reconnect with your loved ones on a deeper level.
- Rediscover your passion for your work, feeling a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
Our evidence-based therapies are designed to help first responders move forward, no matter how challenging their past experiences have been. Our program utilizes treatments like eye movement desensitization and reprocessing and EMDR intensives to help individuals make progress more quickly. By implementing more flexible scheduling options, we make treatment even more accessible.
If you're ready to take action and work on improving your life, then Long Island EMDR is here to support you. When you join our program, we provide you with a welcoming environment that caters to your specific needs. We offer tailored programs and individualized support, all in the name of ensuring that you can achieve the best possible outcomes.
How Trauma Therapy for First Responders Works:
Our treatment program begins by identifying your specific pain points and what you would like to work on during therapy. Afterward, our experienced clinicians create a customized treatment plan tailored to your needs. Your treatment may include EMDR intensives or other evidence-based therapies that help reduce symptoms like stress, depression, and suicidal ideation. By taking this approach, we can offer flexible treatment schedules, and get more rapid results.
Benefits of Trauma Therapy for First Responders:
First responders face highly stressful and risky situations every day. The life of a first responder is demanding, and the toll it takes can be profound. Living with the symptoms of unprocessed trauma, such as depression, stress, posttraumatic stress, suicidal ideation, and various functional and relational conditions, can feel like an unending battle.
Our evidence-based therapies are designed to help first responders from the invisible wounds of your profession. We offer the support and guidance needed to take that first step forward. By prioritizing our patients' mental health needs, we can help first responders get back on track to live the lives they deserve. With our innovative treatment program and compassionate approach, we are committed to your success.
If you're struggling with symptoms of stress, depression, or post-traumatic stress, we want you to know that help is available. At Long Island EMDR, we offer innovative and evidence-based treatment that has been shown to be effective for first responders. Our compassionate approach prioritizes our clients' needs and fosters a supportive environment that leads to healing and progress. If you're ready to take that first step forward, then contact us today and start your journey to healing.
Trauma can sneak up on us, often hidden in plain sight. Whether a personal setback or a larger
life event, its impact can be profound and far-reaching. Understanding and recognizing the signs
of trauma is crucial, not just for our well-being but also for those around us. This article aims to
guide you through the subtle and not-so-subtle indicators of trauma. We'll explore what to look
out for, from physical symptoms to emotional changes. Recognizing the signs of trauma is the
first step towards healing them for good.
Understanding Trauma: A Brief Explanation
Trauma is an emotional response to a deeply distressing or disturbing event. It can stem from a
variety of situations, like an accident, the loss of a loved one, or any event that shakes us to our
core. Everyone reacts differently to trauma, and what deeply affects one person might not
impact another in the same way. It's important to know that trauma isn't just about the big, life-
altering events. It can also arise from smaller yet significant experiences, especially during
childhood.
A crucial aspect of trauma is its potential long-term effects. For some, the echoes of past trauma
can trigger addiction in later life. That happens as individuals turn to substances or behaviors in
an attempt to cope with unresolved emotional pain or stress. Understanding this link is vital, as it
helps in recognizing why some people might develop addiction issues and highlights the
importance of addressing trauma to break this cycle.
Physical Signs of Trauma
Physical Signs of Trauma
Recognizing the physical signs of trauma is a key step in understanding how deeply it affects
us. These signs often manifest in ways that we might overlook. Here are some common
physical symptoms:
● Exhaustion: Feeling constantly tired, even after a good night's sleep.
● Sleep Issues: Struggling to fall asleep, stay asleep, or experiencing nightmares.
● Appetite Changes: Eating too much or too little, which wasn't the case before.
● Physical Pain: Unexplained aches and pains, like headaches or stomach problems.
These symptoms are your body's way of signaling that something isn't right. It's easy to dismiss
them as just being stressed or busy. However, if you notice these changes in yourself or
someone close to you, it could be a sign of underlying trauma. Paying attention to these
physical cues is crucial for recognizing the need for care and support.
Emotional and Psychological Signs
Alongside physical signs, trauma often leaves emotional and psychological marks that can be
just as telling. These signs can sometimes be harder to notice, as they're deeply personal and
vary greatly from one person to another. Here's what to look out for:
● Mood Swings: Rapid changes in mood, from anger to sadness, without a clear reason.
● Anxiety and Fear: Constant feelings of nervousness or being on edge, often about
things that didn't bother you before.
● Depression: Persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or losing interest in activities
you used to enjoy.
● Flashbacks and Nightmares: Reliving the traumatic event in your mind can feel
overwhelmingly real.
● Avoidance: Steering clear of people, places, or activities that remind you of the trauma.
Understanding that these signs are normal responses to abnormal events is crucial. They are
not signs of weakness but indications that your mind is trying to cope with something difficult. If
you or someone you know is showing these signs, it's a hint that seeking support could be
beneficial.
Behavioral Changes Indicating Trauma
Trauma doesn't just impact our minds and bodies; it often shows up in our actions and
behaviors, too. These changes can be a clear signal that someone is struggling with
unprocessed trauma. Keep an eye out for these behavioral signs:
● Withdrawal: Pulling back from social interactions, even from close friends and family.
● Irritability: Getting easily upset or angered, often over minor issues.
● Loss of Interest: Not wanting to engage in hobbies or activities that used to be
enjoyable.
● Risky Behaviors: Engaging in activities that are out of character, like reckless driving or
substance abuse.
● Changes in Routine: Significant shifts in daily habits, like sleeping patterns or personal
hygiene.
These behaviors are often a person's unconscious way of dealing with overwhelming emotions
or memories. They might not even realize the changes themselves. Recognizing these signs is
important for understanding and supporting someone dealing with trauma. It's not about labeling
them but about offering a helping hand.
When to Seek Help
Knowing when it's time to seek help for trauma can be a turning point in your journey toward
healing. If you're finding that the signs of trauma are interfering with your daily life, relationships,
or well-being, it's a clear indicator that professional support could be beneficial. That is
especially true if you're feeling overwhelmed, if your coping mechanisms aren't working, or if
you're noticing a persistent decline in your mental health.
In these circumstances, reaching out to a professional, like a trauma therapist, can provide the
tools and support you need to process and move beyond your trauma. Techniques like Eye
Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) are particularly effective for many people.
This therapy is designed to help you confront and reframe your traumatic experiences in a safe
and supportive environment.
Seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. It's about taking control of your life and
choosing to heal. If you're unsure about where to start, consider reaching out to a mental health
professional who can guide you through your options and help you find the right path for your
healing journey.
How to Support Someone Experiencing Trauma
Supporting someone who is dealing with trauma can make a significant difference in their
healing process. The key is to offer support in a respectful and understanding way. Start by
simply being there for them. Listen without judgment or the urge to offer quick fixes. Sometimes,
just having someone to talk to can be incredibly relieving for someone dealing with trauma.
Encourage them gently to seek professional help if they haven't already, but remember, the
decision to seek therapy must be theirs. You can help by providing information about available
resources or even offering to accompany them to an appointment, but avoid pressuring them.
Also, respect their need for space and time. Trauma recovery is not linear, and everyone heals
at their own pace. Be patient and maintain a supportive presence in their life. Small gestures
like checking in on them, offering to help with day-to-day tasks, or just spending time together
can be comforting.
Embracing Healing: A Step Towards Recovery
In sum, recognizing the signs of trauma is a vital step toward healing and recovery. Whether it's
physical symptoms, emotional changes, or behavioral shifts, being aware of these signs can
lead to timely support and care. If you or someone you know shows these signs, don't hesitate
to reach out for help. Every step taken towards understanding and addressing trauma is a move
towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Much to the relief of mental health workers the stigma attached to depression is lessening as awareness increases. Times are changing and so are your options when it comes to seeking treatment for depression. EMDR can be an effective means to treat your depression when traditional options have not helped.
Most people are familiar with depression, or at least familiar with the fact that it exists and anyone can struggle with it. However, many people may not know where to start when it comes to how to treat it effectively. Traditional therapy and medication do help, without a doubt. But what happens when it’s just not enough or you aren’t feeling relief? If that question rings true for you, please know that you do have options for EMDR therapy for depression in Suffolk County, NY.
What is EMDR?
I’d like to bring to your attention a treatment option, which you may or may not have heard of, known as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Are you familiar with this treatment? During EMDR treatment, bilateral stimulation activates the opposite sides of the brain allowing the brain to release and redefine emotional experiences that are “trapped” within the brain. This type of stimulation actually resembles REM sleep as our eyes move from one side to the other. It is during sleep that the brain naturally sorts out our experiences from the day, discarding useless information and transferring memories appropriately.
Sometimes when we experience a traumatic events, big or small (i.e. getting in trouble at school, bullying, or the emotional trauma experienced when dealing with infidelity), these negative experiences can get “trapped” or “frozen” in the brain and they are unable to resolve naturally which may result in nightmares, depression, anger, anxiety, or emotional disturbance.
Along with the “trapped” negative experience is the negative emotional and sensory information, and childlike or initial interpretation of the experience.
Even locked away these negative emotions can still affect us greatly. We can be triggered by any number of things; a scent, a visual object, even being spoken to a certain way can trigger a memory or negative feeling, often without any understanding why. When a negative memory is triggered, the neurological response is protection and the result is a state of hyper-arousal commonly referred to as fight or flight.
Stress hormones are released into the body and we find ourselves saying things without thinking or doing things that seem out of character. Unfortunately, the initial and untrue negative beliefs about oneself are reinforced.
What’s an EMDR session like?
During a typical EMDR session you would be asked to identify a disturbing target memory. That memory is then processed using bilateral stimulation, the negative feelings, beliefs, or experience become desensitized, meaning they simply become less bothersome. The feelings, beliefs, and/or experience is then reprocessed and a new meaning is attached to the experience or triggers. As your brain arrives at a new conclusion, the original trauma no longer contains the negative emotional charge originally associated with it. The triggers are now neutral, the interpretation of the experience is now intentional and the beliefs about oneself are more positive and present hope instead of powerlessness.
Should I do it? So you may be wondering, “Is EMDR right for me?” Well, if you feel like your traumas, or inner demons, have too much power over you; and if you have a strong desire to be liberated from the traumas of your past, then, yes, EMDR may be a good fit for you.
Please keep in mind, EMDR is not only for those who have suffered significant trauma.
Reasons for choosing EMDR include a desire to let go of the rational, logical self and to be able to engage at a deeper level. If focusing solely on symptom management is not getting you the results you desire then you may benefit from EMDR, leading you to a deeper understanding of the root cause of the problem and allowing you to deal with it and find resolution.
If you have any thoughts or questions related to EMDR therapy for depression in Suffolk County, NY., or other mental health issues, please feel free to contact us. We would love to help you.
Trauma therapy is a specialized form of therapy that focuses on helping individuals who have experienced a traumatic event or are struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Two popular and effective approaches to trauma therapy are TF-CBT (Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Both techniques have been extensively researched and have shown promising results in treating trauma and PTSD.
In this blog post, we will take a closer look at these two approaches and explore their similarities, differences, and effectiveness as PTSD treatments.
Understanding the Basics of Trauma Therapy
Trauma therapy is a specialized form of therapy designed to help individuals who have experienced a traumatic event or are struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It aims to address the emotional and psychological impact of trauma and provide effective tools for healing and recovery.
Trauma therapy can encompass various treatment modalities, such as TF-CBT and EMDR. These approaches are evidence-based and have shown significant efficacy in treating trauma and PTSD.
In trauma therapy, individuals work with a trained therapist who provides a safe and supportive environment for exploring and processing their traumatic experiences. The therapist may use different techniques, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, to help individuals challenge and change negative thought patterns and behaviors associated with their trauma.
Trauma therapy can also include other interventions like mindfulness, relaxation techniques, and expressive therapies. The ultimate goal is to help individuals regain control over their lives and find relief from symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and emotional distress.
If you are seeking PTSD help, trauma counseling, or anxiety and depression treatment, trauma therapy could be an effective option for you. It is essential to find a therapist who specializes in trauma and has experience with the specific treatment modality that resonates with you.
In the next sections, we will explore two popular approaches to trauma therapy, TF-CBT, and EMDR, in more detail and examine their benefits, drawbacks, similarities, and differences.
An In-depth Look at TF-CBT Therapy: Benefits and Drawbacks
TF-CBT (Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is a widely used and highly effective approach to trauma therapy. It combines cognitive behavioral therapy techniques with trauma-specific interventions to help individuals overcome the effects of traumatic experiences. One of the key benefits of TF-CBT is its focus on addressing both the emotional and cognitive aspects of trauma. This approach helps individuals understand how their thoughts and beliefs about the traumatic event contribute to their emotional distress and symptoms.
TF-CBT is particularly effective in reducing symptoms of PTSD, depression, and anxiety. It provides individuals with practical coping skills and tools to manage their symptoms, such as relaxation techniques and emotion regulation strategies. Additionally, TF-CBT often involves family or caregiver involvement, which can help create a supportive and healing environment for the individual.
Despite its many benefits, TF-CBT does have some drawbacks. It can be time-consuming, requiring several sessions over a period of months. This can be a barrier for individuals who have limited time or financial resources. Additionally, TF-CBT may not be suitable for everyone. Some individuals may find it challenging to engage in the cognitive and exposure-based aspects of the therapy, while others may prefer a more experiential approach.
In summary, TF-CBT is an evidence-based therapy that has shown significant effectiveness in trauma treatment. It offers a range of benefits, including symptom reduction and practical coping skills. However, it is important to consider individual preferences and needs when choosing trauma therapy, as TF-CBT may not be the best fit for everyone seeking anxiety treatment or PTSD help.
Evaluating EMDR Therapy: Strengths and Weaknesses
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is another popular and effective approach to trauma therapy. It was originally developed to help individuals process traumatic memories by utilizing bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or hand taps, to facilitate the processing of distressing experiences. One of the key strengths of EMDR is its ability to target and process specific traumatic memories, which can lead to significant symptom reduction and emotional healing.
EMDR has been found to be effective in treating PTSD, as well as other conditions like anxiety and phobias. It offers a unique and structured approach to trauma processing, allowing individuals to reprocess distressing memories and replace negative beliefs and emotions associated with the trauma with more adaptive ones. EMDR also emphasizes the importance of creating a sense of safety and empowerment during the therapy process, which can be particularly beneficial for individuals who may feel overwhelmed or disempowered by their traumatic experiences.
However, it is important to note that EMDR may not be suitable for everyone. Some individuals may find the bilateral stimulation or the process of revisiting traumatic memories too distressing or overwhelming. Additionally, EMDR requires specific training and expertise on the part of the therapist, so it may not be widely available or accessible in all areas. It is essential to work with a trained and experienced EMDR therapist who can provide proper guidance and support throughout the therapy process.
Comparing TF-CBT and EMDR: Similarities and Differences
Comparing TF-CBT (Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) allows us to understand the similarities and differences between these two effective trauma therapy approaches.
One key similarity between TF-CBT and EMDR is their evidence-based nature. Both approaches have undergone extensive research and is effective in treating trauma and PTSD. They provide individuals with valuable tools and techniques to process and heal from their traumatic experiences.
However, TF-CBT and EMDR differ in their specific methods. TF-CBT primarily focuses on cognitive restructuring and exposure therapy, helping individuals challenge and change negative thoughts and behaviors associated with their trauma. On the other hand, EMDR utilizes bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or hand taps, to facilitate the processing of distressing memories and emotions.
Additionally, TF-CBT often involves family or caregiver involvement, while EMDR is typically an individual therapy approach. This distinction can be essential depending on the individual's support system and their specific needs and preferences.
Ultimately, the choice between TF-CBT and EMDR will depend on individual factors such as personal preferences, the severity of symptoms, and the expertise and availability of therapists. It is crucial to consult with a trained professional to determine which approach aligns best with your needs and goals for trauma therapy.
How to Choose the Right Trauma Therapy for You
When it comes to choosing the right trauma therapy for you, it's essential to consider a few factors. Firstly, think about your personal preferences and what resonates with you. Are you more comfortable with a structured approach like TF-CBT, or do you prefer the idea of utilizing bilateral stimulation with EMDR? Take some time to research and understand the core principles and techniques of each therapy to see which one aligns best with your needs and goals.
Secondly, consider the severity of your symptoms and the level of support you have available. If you have a strong support system and prefer a therapy that involves family or caregiver involvement, TF-CBT may be the right choice for you. On the other hand, if you feel more comfortable with an individual therapy approach and want to focus specifically on processing traumatic memories, EMDR may be a better fit.
Lastly, consider the availability and expertise of therapists in your area. Look for professionals who specialize in trauma therapy and have experience with the specific approach you're interested in. Remember, finding the right therapist is crucial for effective trauma treatment.
Ultimately, choosing the right trauma therapy for you is a personal decision that should be made in collaboration with a trained professional. Take the time to explore your options, ask questions, and trust your intuition to find the approach that feels most supportive and empowering for your healing journey. Don't know where to start? Check out our team!
Final Thoughts and Considerations:
As we reach the end of our exploration into trauma therapy and the comparison of TF-CBT and EMDR, it's important to consider some final thoughts and considerations. Both approaches have been extensively researched and have shown significant efficacy in treating trauma and PTSD. However, it's essential to remember that every individual is unique, and what works for one person may not work for another.
When deciding trauma therapy, it's crucial to take into account your personal preferences, the severity of your symptoms, and the level of support you have available. Reflect on what resonates with you and aligns best with your needs and goals. Additionally, consider the expertise and availability of therapists in your area, as finding the right professional is vital for effective treatment.
Remember, trauma therapy is a deeply personal journey, and finding the right approach is crucial for your healing and recovery. Take the time to explore your options, ask questions, and trust your intuition. With the guidance of a trained professional, you can embark on a path of healing and find relief from the impact of traumatic experiences. You deserve to live a life free from the burdens of trauma, and trauma therapy can provide the support and tools you need to make that possible.
With love and support,
Kristy Casper, LCSW
Many of my clients have difficulty living the life they want and need to feel truly happy. They struggle with expectations placed on them by others, feelings of guilt if they put themselves first and most days feel like they cannot catch their breathe. Trauma therapy, like EMDR for example, can help you to end old patterns and put yourself first. Self-care isn't selfish- I know it's a clique but it is true. You need to take care of you to be your best self for your family, friends and career. If this is speaking to you, strap in- I have some Pro-tips for you.
1. Evaluate Your Values
What is most important to you? List 3 things. Could be family, honesty, integrity, compassion, trust etc. Then you need to start seeing if your actions actually align with your values. Those that do keep at them- those that don't make an effort to change them. For example, if you choose "family, compassion and health" and you are offered an additional work shift. Is taking this shift detracting from your family time? Do you need a mental health break or day off to take care of you? If so say no. If it's to help a colleague who is going through a rough time and you feel you have enough time on another day to take care of you and spend time with family and you want to honor that "compassion" value you can also say yes. Seeing how our actions are in align with our values helps us to begin living a life that makes us happy- not a life that is spent trying to appease or please others.
2. Set Some Boundaries
In set with setting those values is setting up some boundaries with those around us. When we have no boundaries- meaning we having difficulty saying no or often do things out of pleasing others even if it's not what we want- we continue to feel exhausted, unhappy and overwhelmed. Boundaries despite what childhood may have taught you are actually healthy.
Saying "No I'm sorry I can't go out tonight", "No I won't be able to take on that extra project with my current workload as it stands" or "I would appreciate if you refrained from "xyz" in front of my children" is the first step to reducing our triggers, reducing your stress load and giving yourself the time to focus on you and do what makes YOU happy.
3. Let Go of the Guilt
Often times my clients struggle with boundaries because of the guilt they feel in saying no to others. They feel responsible to take on the problems of those around them. They are accustom to the role of "fixer". Those around them, often family members but sometimes even colleagues or bosses sometimes push back on boundaries set and plead or ridicule them if they don't get what they want. I'm not going to say setting boundaries is an easy task when you are accustom to saying "yes" to everything because your role has always been to put others before you. But I will say the more you stick to your boundaries, the less others push back over time. It helps to see if keeping those boundaries is in alignment with your values or the type of person you are aspiring to be. Simple answer might look like "yes, I value helping others." With a closer look though it's easy to see it is hard to be our best self for others when you are running on empty.
As I often tell my trauma therapy clients, and as they say on the air plane "put your mask on first" before you help those around you. It also helps to make a list of the short term positive gain of letting others violate your boundary and the long term consequences. For example, lets say you have difficulty saying no at work and are constantly taking on additional tasks asked of you.
| Short Term Positive of Not Holding My Boundary | Long Term Consequences of Not Holding My Boundary |
| -Don't feel guilty | -I am overwhelmed and burning out |
| -My boss is happy | -It's hard to complete additional work assigned in my work hours so I am constantly bringing work home |
| -I get positive praise | -I am working so hard that when I am done I have no energy to engage meaningfully with my husband and kids |
| -I feel taken advantage of and under appreciated | |
| -My workload will never decrease if I do not voice concern with the disproportionate work I get in comparison to colleagues |
After making this list you may decide to have a conversation with your boss and say "I would love to be able to help with that project but I already have 3 other projects I am currently working on. I will need to finish those first before I can take on any more. It's important to me that the quality of my work meets the standard and I am afraid I won't be able to complete all projects to our client's expectations." Starting an honest dialogue can help you feel more in control and will likely make you a better employee. Same with friends and family, when you are happier and more relaxed you can be your best self for your spouse, children, parents and friends. If this seems daunting, trauma therapy can surely help you work through your fears and doubts.
Need Help?
If this sounds daunting, you may need some extra support in navigating beginning to set boundaries and taking back control of your life. This is really common with clients who have trauma, are children of alcoholics, were parentified children (children that functioned more as parents), and those with low self-esteem and attachment difficulties (as they often fear boundaries will push others away). Trauma therapy can help! Just like my clients you can take back your life, begin to feel in control, less overwhelmed, more peaceful and joyful. You deserve happiness too. If you need the extra support in getting there give our office a call.
Sending love & light,
Flashbacks are our brain’s way of processing traumatic events that we’ve experienced. Our subconscious taps into those important memories but they are not contained- meaning they tend to spill out everything related to the traumatic event. For many individuals, this experience can be just as terrifying as the initial event, and result in panic or anxiety.
Flashbacks usually happen without warning. Most result from a “triggering” that occurs by an external experience. Triggers are typically sensory-based experiences that manifest via smells, sounds, tastes, textures that remind the person of the traumatic event. The sound of fireworks or a car backfiring can remind a soldier of gunfire. I once had a patient who would have flashbacks around flower shops, as the overwhelming smell of flowers would bring him back to his sister’s funeral.
Living with flashbacks is very difficult, but with practice there are some ways you can work through these disturbing events:
1. Remember
Remind yourself that you are in a safe place and having a flashback. Use that self-talk and tell yourself, as many times as necessary, that these are only memories until you can feel yourself begin to calm.
2. Empower Yourself
Sometimes using your five senses can help you to be in the present moment. If one sense is causing the flashback use your other senses to place yourself in the actual current environment. The tactile experience of stamping your feet on the ground can remind yourself that you are free to get away from any situation that has become uncomfortable for you. See more here on mindfulness tips.
3. Breathe
Fear and panic causes our breathing to become shallow and erratic. Shallow our erratic breathing exacerbates the stress we feel in that moment because our body is literally panicking from a lack of oxygen. In these fearful moments, when we slow our breathing and take deeper and deeper breaths, we actually signal to our brain and body that everything is okay. One of my favorite breathing tricks is to trace one hand with the opposite. When you go up a finger breathe in, then breathe out as you trace back to the palm of you hand. Repeat till you are calm and your breathing is regular. A meditation app such as Insight Timer can be very helpful too.
4. Honor the Experience
Going through trauma alone is not really advisable. I understand there may be feelings of shame, guilt, fear that are preventing you from feeling comfortable opening up. However, it is important for you to have supports.
It’s important that you let loved ones know about your to help you through this process. Opening up to trusted loved ones can allow for them to help you work through flashbacks and process what has happened. You may also want to open up to a mental health professional to gain a deeper understanding of what is happening to you, how to cope with flashbacks and triggers and work through those difficult memories and emotions.
Stay Shining,
Are you familiar with that that voice that is just below the surface, undermining your accomplishments, diminishing your strengths, and playing off your deepest insecurities and fears? This voice may follow you to work, accompany you to social gatherings, be by your side when attempting to accomplish your daily responsibilities, and whispering in your ear when you spend time with loved ones. What is this disapproving voice that sounds so much like our own, judging and demeaning us at every turn? It's your inner critic.
This voice is commonly known in psychology as the “inner critic.” Freud called it the “superego,” scientists call it “survivor brain,” and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy refers to it as “automatic negative thoughts.” Whatever you call it, much of this internal dialogue arises from messages that were given to us starting in childhood by family, teachers, friends, and society. Over time, due to our own insecurities, challenges, and negative life experiences, this voice gets louder, stronger, and more persuasive. It becomes harder and harder to identify what is reality, and what is the inner critic attempting to sabotage our emotional wellbeing.
This sounds grim, but there is good news. You don’t have to believe everything you think. Let me say that again-YOU DON’T HAVE TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK. Humans have an average of 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day, 80% of which are negative. This negativity over time can lead to sadness, helplessness, agitation, fear, worry, and hopelessness. They say, “Change your thoughts, change your life.” But how do we do that, especially when this inner critic has become so strong and powerful over time?
The simple answer? It’s a process. It will take mindfulness, vigilance, and consistency to change the pervasive negative thought patterns of the inner critic. However, the inner peace, freedom, confidence, and happiness that result from doing so are beyond measure. Here are some tools to get you started on gaining freedom from your inner critic:
1. Peacefully Observe Your Inner Critic
Oftentimes when we encounter something negative, or tendency is to try to suppress, avoid, fix, manage or control it. However, when it comes to negative thoughts, doing so often results in temporary relief, and the negative thoughts often resurface with a vengeance soon after. It can be helpful to think of your inner critic as a child throwing a temper tantrum. Let your inner critic know that you hear it, but do not give it more power than it deserves by engaging with it. Find a mantra that feels right to you, conveying the message, “Ok inner critic, I hear what you are saying, but I do not wish to listen or believe that.” Remind yourself that your thoughts are just words in your head, they are not facts. It is up to you to decide how much power you wish to give these words.
2. Investigate Your Inner Critic
The inner critic often exaggerates the negative in an attempted to keep you trapped in fear and hopelessness. Take some time to investigate what the inner critic is saying. For example, “You are a horrible parent.” Ask yourself, “Are my children alive? Are they fed/clothed/bathed? Am I doing the best I can?” Chances are, your inner critic is lying to you, taking one negative event combined with your own insecurities and stating the worst. Try asking yourself some general investigative questions, such as “Is this thought helpful? Is this thought true? What might my family and friends say about this thought? Am I blaming myself unnecessarily? What does the evidence in my life say about this thought?” This will help to expose the inner critic for what it really is-an irrational, illogical, and deceptive bully.
3. Meditate
Regular meditation practice allows you to become painfully aware of the endless chatter of the mind. As stated earlier, 80% of our thoughts are negative. Regular meditation practice will help you to gain experience in becoming mindful of your thoughts, detaching emotionally from these thoughts, and gaining the ability to pick and choose which thoughts you wish to engage with. Meditation is counterintuitive, so start small and keep your expectations low. The goal of meditation is not to be absent of thoughts. It is meant to help you gain clarity in how the mind works, and to avoid getting swept up and emotionally invested with your thoughts.
4. Practice Self-Care
Sometimes it can be beneficial to “act as if” we love ourselves, and our thoughts will catch up with our actions over time. The inner critic is often developed through receiving messages that you are not good enough and don’t matter. By engaging in regular self-care activities, you are sending another more truthful message to your inner critic-that you are worthy of love and respect. Self-care comes in a variety of forms, such as setting limits with others, having realistic expectations, repeating positive affirmations, journaling, exercise, eating healthy, drinking water, getting a massage, reaching out for help, dancing, singing, and resting. Find out what gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling and run with it. Send the message to your inner critic that you are not believing it’s lies anymore by treating yourself with kindness and compassion.
Battling your inner critic is not an easy task, but it is worth the fight. Remember, despite your past, challenges, and struggles, you deserve happiness. Don’t let anyone or anything tell you otherwise.
– Alexandria (Alex) Fairchild, LCSW
Panic attacks can be a debilitating and frightening experience for those who suffer from them. For individuals with PTSD, panic attacks can be even more intense and overwhelming. Not only do they experience the intense physical and emotional symptoms of a panic attack, but they also must navigate the triggering memories and emotions associated with their trauma. In the midst of a panic attack, negative self-talk can easily take over, reinforcing feelings of fear and helplessness. However, through the use of EMDR therapy, individuals can learn to break the cycle of negative self-talk during panic attacks and find relief from the symptoms of PTSD.
Understanding Your "I Am": The Power of Internal Dialogue
Our internal dialogue, or "I Am," is a powerful force that shapes our thoughts, emotions, and actions. It's the ongoing conversation we have with ourselves, and it can either lift us up or bring us down. For individuals with panic attacks and PTSD, this internal dialogue can be especially influential in determining their overall well-being.
When we have negative self-talk during panic attacks, it reinforces our fears and amplifies our sense of helplessness. We might tell ourselves, "I can't handle this," or "I'm going to lose control." These thoughts not only intensify the physical and emotional symptoms of a panic attack but also trigger the traumatic memories associated with PTSD.
Understanding the power of our "I Am" is the first step in breaking the cycle of negative self-talk. By recognizing and challenging these negative thoughts, we can begin to shift our internal dialogue towards more positive and empowering statements. Instead of saying, "I can't handle this," we can replace it with, "I am strong and capable of overcoming this challenge."
Changing our internal dialogue takes practice and patience, but it can be a transformative process. It's important to remember that our thoughts are not facts, and we have the power to reframe them. By cultivating a more positive "I Am," individuals with panic attacks and PTSD can find relief from their symptoms and regain a sense of control over their lives.
In the next section, we will explore how negative self-talk fuels panic attacks and dive deeper into the techniques to shift our "I Am" and overcome this destructive cycle. Stay tuned!
How Negative Self-Talk Fuels Panic Attacks
Negative self-talk plays a significant role in fueling panic attacks and exacerbating the symptoms of PTSD. When we experience a panic attack, our thoughts often become distorted and negative, reinforcing our fears and intensifying our anxiety. We may tell ourselves, "I can't handle this," or "I'm going to lose control," which only amplifies the physical and emotional sensations of the panic attack.
Negative self-talk also triggers the traumatic memories associated with PTSD, further intensifying the distress and anxiety experienced during a panic attack. These memories can create a vicious cycle of negative thoughts, leading to a heightened sense of fear and helplessness.
Additionally, negative self-talk reinforces the belief that we are incapable of coping with anxiety and that something terrible is bound to happen. This self-defeating mindset further perpetuates the panic attack cycle and prevents individuals from seeking help or utilizing effective coping mechanisms.
Understanding how negative self-talk fuels panic attacks is essential in breaking this destructive cycle. By recognizing and challenging these negative thoughts, we can begin to shift our internal dialogue towards more positive and realistic statements. This shift in thinking helps to decrease anxiety symptoms and regain a sense of control over our thoughts and emotions.
In the next section, we will explore specific techniques that can help shift our internal dialogue and overcome negative self-talk during panic attacks. By implementing these strategies, individuals with panic attacks and PTSD can find relief and reclaim their lives from the grip of anxiety.
Techniques to Shift Your "I Am" and Overcome Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk can be a deeply ingrained habit, especially for individuals with panic attacks and PTSD. However, some techniques can help shift our internal dialogue and overcome this destructive cycle.
One powerful technique is reframing. Reframing involves consciously challenging and replacing negative thoughts with positive and empowering ones. For example, if you find yourself thinking, "I can't handle this," remind yourself, "I am strong and resilient. I have overcome challenges before, and I can do it again." By consistently practicing reframing, you can gradually rewire your brain to default to more positive thoughts during panic attacks.
Another technique is mindfulness. Mindfulness involves observing your thoughts without judgment and bringing your attention to the present moment. During a panic attack, try focusing on your breath or grounding yourself in your physical surroundings. This can help interrupt the cycle of negative self-talk and bring you back to the present, where you have more control over your thoughts and emotions.
Seeking support from a therapist or counselor who specializes in trauma and anxiety can also be immensely helpful. They can provide guidance, validation, and tools tailored to your specific needs. Consider looking for keywords like "PTSD therapy near me" or "counseling for cops/veterans with PTSD" to find professionals experienced in working with trauma.
Remember, overcoming negative self-talk takes time and practice. Be patient and kind to yourself as you navigate this journey towards healing. You deserve to feel empowered and in control of your thoughts and emotions, even during panic attacks.
Role of EMDR Therapy in Breaking the Cycle of Negative Thoughts
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is a highly effective treatment for breaking the cycle of negative thoughts and finding relief from the symptoms of PTSD. This therapeutic approach focuses on processing traumatic memories and helping individuals reframe their internal dialogue.
During EMDR therapy, a trained therapist guides individuals through a series of eye movements or other bilateral stimulation techniques while they recall their traumatic experiences. This process helps activate the brain's natural healing mechanisms and allows for the reprocessing of the traumatic memories. As a result, individuals can gain new insights, release negative emotions, and develop more adaptive beliefs about themselves and their experiences.
One of the key benefits of EMDR therapy is that it specifically targets the negative self-talk that fuels panic attacks and exacerbates PTSD symptoms. By reprocessing traumatic memories and challenging negative beliefs, individuals can create new neural pathways and replace negative self-talk with positive and empowering thoughts.
Furthermore, EMDR therapy helps individuals regain a sense of control over their thoughts and emotions. It provides a safe space for exploring and releasing the distressing emotions and memories associated with PTSD. Through the process of EMDR therapy, individuals can develop a stronger sense of self and gain the tools necessary to overcome negative self-talk during panic attacks.
If you're feeling stuck in the cycle of negative self-talk and struggling with panic attacks or PTSD symptoms, EMDR therapy can be a transformative treatment option. It can provide the support and guidance needed to heal childhood trauma, overcome anxiety disorders, and find relief from depression. By breaking the cycle of negative thoughts, individuals can reclaim their lives and experience a greater sense of peace and well-being.
Practical Steps for Incorporating Positive Self-talk into Your Life
Incorporating positive self-talk into your life can be a powerful tool in breaking the cycle of negative thoughts and finding relief from panic attacks and the symptoms of PTSD. Here are some practical steps you can take to cultivate a more positive internal dialogue:
1. Start with self-awareness: Pay attention to your thoughts and become aware of the negative self-talk patterns that arise during panic attacks or moments of distress. Recognize the impact these thoughts have on your emotions and overall well-being.
2. Challenge negative thoughts: When negative thoughts arise, challenge them with evidence-based reasoning. Ask yourself if there is concrete evidence to support these negative beliefs or if they are based on fear and distorted thinking. Replace them with positive and empowering statements that reflect reality.
3. Practice affirmations: Affirmations are positive statements that you can repeat to yourself regularly to counteract negative self-talk. Choose affirmations that resonate with you, such as "I am strong and capable," or "I am deserving of love and happiness." Repeat them daily and whenever negative thoughts arise.
4. Surround yourself with support: Seek out a support system of trusted friends, family members, or a therapist who can help reinforce positive self-talk and provide validation and encouragement during difficult times.
5. Practice self-care: Engage in activities that promote self-care and self-compassion. This could include regular exercise, meditation, journaling, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being can help foster a more positive internal dialogue.
Remember, incorporating positive self-talk takes time and practice. Be patient and kind to yourself as you work towards changing your internal dialogue. With consistency and dedication, you can break the cycle of negative self-talk and find relief from anxiety attacks, trauma, and depression.
Unfortunately, being a survivor of trauma or abuse is exceedingly common. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, one in four girls and one in six boys will be sexually abused before they turn 18 years old. Additionally, they also found that one in five women and one in 71 men will be raped at some point in their lives.
Being a survivor of abuse can be challenging, thankfully with some self-care in place you can begin your healing journey to a healthier you. That journey from feeling scared, afraid, angry and/or alone to a place of peace and acceptance can be an empowering one. Regardless of whether your trauma was recent or happened years ago, a daily self-care regimen will help you cope with the trauma that still affects you today.
1. Quality Sleep
An essential component of maintaining optimum physical, mental, and emotional health is ensuring you get adequate sleep each night. According to The Sleep Foundation, “while sleep issues after a traumatic experience can be distressing, they may also be an important opportunity for treating and healing from trauma.
Research suggests that being able to sleep after a traumatic event can reduce intrusive trauma-related memories and make them less distressing.” In fact, Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy works a lot like REM sleep with assisting the brain to process traumatic events. Additionally, getting adequate sleep helps to improve memory, increase positive mood and decrease stress.
2. Meditate
Meditating for just five to ten minutes can have some really positive benefits including: boosting immune response, regulating stress levels, increasing focus and elevating mood. Headspace (the App) now has a program on Netflix that not only guides you through meditations but also explains why and how a particular exercise can help you. I’ve also always been a big fan of the App Insight Timer. I find guided meditations are often easier for people to start off with and you can then work your way into solely music, nature sounds or silent meditations. For anxious folks, guided meditation can help to give you a focus point so it is not so overwhelming in the beginning.
3. Exercise
Exercise is beneficial for just about everyone, but for trauma survivors it can also be a way to release pent-up emotions you have relating to what has happened to you. The type of exercise is not really as important, as engaging in a daily practice of release.
If you like to dance, do some Zumba, if you are more of a yoga lover, go with that. For some, taking kickboxing or jiu-jitsu can help them feel more in control after an assault and better able to defend themselves. No matter what you choose remember that exercise should be an act of self-care, meaning it should be something you enjoy- not a punishment.
4. Positive Affirmations
For many survivors there is a good-deal of shame and guilt that comes with what has happened to them. For those reasons, it is all the more important to really focus on programing yourself with positive thoughts and beliefs. For example: “I am loved,” “I am worthy,” “I am valued,” “I am strong,” “I am enough.” I often tell client’s to pick an opposite thought to their negative self-talk, so if your inner “Karen” is saying: “I am disposable”, you say to yourself: “I am worthy and deserving of love, respect and affection”.
There is a really amazing App that spams your phone, however often you set it, to give you positive affirmations called “I Am”. If its a struggle for you at first to come up with your own affirmations, I really recommend it.
This process of changing that inner voice takes time and truly is a practice so be gentle with yourself. You will have days where it works great and other days where you cannot seem to get “Karen” to stop talking. It’s okay, just take it one step, one moment at a time.
5. Support
Support is critical need for healing, surround yourself with people who build you up, cheer you on and pick you up when you are down. If you have a solid support system don’t be afraid to engage them, by calling a friend or family member, attending a support group and/or finding a therapist. If your support system is lacking, use a smartphone app or the Meetup website to find a local, like-minded group and make some new friends.
Often times survivors feel alone and like no one can or will understand how they feel, or that they will be judged for what happened to them. However, as said in the beginning abuse is more common than we would like to believe in this country. Sharing your struggles with people who understand and care about you and your well-being is an important aspect of your healing journey. If you are a sexual abuse survivor and need some words of advise from others who have been through it but are not ready to take that step of opening up just yet, I highly recommend Dear Sister by Lisa Factora-Borchers and Aishah Shahidah Simmons - a book of letters from survivors of sexual abuse to other survivors.
Are you a survivor of trauma or abuse? A licensed mental health professional can help you so you don’t have to go through this alone. Give our office a call today so we can set up a time to talk.
Keep Shining,
Have you ever wondered how childhood trauma impacts adolescents or adults? Do you find yourself asking yourself how much your childhood has a impact on your relationships today? Childhood experiences, both positive and negative, have major impact on our emotional development and how we continue to interact in the relationships around us.
Childhood is where our attachment styles are developed and our parents are our primary attachment figures. The way they respond to us in childhood shapes our worldview, or perception of the world, and how we expect others to respond, relate and interact with us. This is the foundation of whether or not a child will feel the world is safe and whether or not those around them will accept them.
Erikson called this our view of “trust or mistrust”. Is it a safe place to venture out and take emotional risks? Are all people generally good or are they out to hurt us and therefore untrustworthy? Can we trust others to support us in times of emotional need or crisis or do I need to rely on myself?
Complex trauma refers to the prolonged exposure to a stressful event, or repeated traumatic events layered on top of another. This would include children, who have grown up in physically, sexually, and/or emotionally absent or abusive households, as well as children who grew up in unsafe communities, an incarnated parent or a parent with mental health or substance use concerns.
How Childhood Trauma Continues to Effect us into Adulthood
Without the safety net of a secure attachment relationship, children experiencing childhood trauma grow up to become adults who struggle with poor self-esteem and difficulty with emotional regulation. They continue the unhealthy relationship patterns of their childhood with partners, friends and family members. These adults also have an increased risk of developing depression and anxiety.
The following are the four basic attachment styles. Please keep in mind that these descriptions are very general; not everyone will have all these characteristics. Attachment styles are relatively fluid and can be ever-changing depending on your partner’s own attachment style and the adaptations you make as you grow and learn.
Secure Attachment in Adults
These individuals usually grew up in a supportive environment where parents consistently responded to their needs. Securely attached individuals feel comfortable in their own skin, easily share feelings with partners and friends and seek out social support. These individuals have a generally positive outlook on life and seek physical and/or emotional intimacy with minimal fear of being rejected or overwhelmed.
Securely attached individuals, much like their parents were to them, are generally consistent and reliable in their behaviors toward their partner. They also tend to include their partner in decisions that could affect their relationship or life goals.
Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment in Adults
Children develop this attachment style when their primary caregivers are not emotionally responsive or are rejecting of their needs.
Children learn to pull away emotionally and be overly self-reliant, as means to avoid feelings of rejection. As adults, they become uncomfortable with emotional openness and downplay the importance of relationships.
These adults tend to place a high priority on their own independence from others and tend to be extremely self-reliant. They develop techniques to reduce feelings of being overwhelmed and defend themselves from perceived threats to their “independence.”
These techniques include, shutting down, sending mixed messages, and avoiding. These coping techniques end up becoming detrimental to their adult relationships.
Fearful-Avoidant Attachment in Adults
Children who have developed this style of attachment may have been exposed to prolonged abuse and/or neglect. Their primary caregivers are a source of hurt, rather than fulfilling their vital role of providing support and comfort.
These children grow up to become adults who depend on others but avoid intimacy in their relationships due to fear of rejection. As adults they have lower self-esteem and high anxiety in relationships.
As adults they see the value in having close relationships but due to the abuse they received have a difficult time trusting others. Due to this distrust, they avoid being emotionally vulnerable with others and have difficulty clearly expressing their wants and needs, as they fear it will lead to more hurt and rejection.
Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment in Adults:
Children with anxious-preoccupied attachment had caregivers who did not consistently meet their needs, as in their responses to the child were not consistent or predictable. Their parents were nurturing, caring and attentive at times but this was alternated with cold, rejecting or emotionally detached behaviors.
This alternation between love and rejection makes it difficult for a child to know what to expect from day to day. These children then grow up to be adults who require a lot of connection, closeness and attention within their relationships, sometimes to the point of being “clingy.”
Individuals who have this attachment style may need more validation and approval from loved ones than the other attachment styles.
Neurobiology of Attachment and Childhood Trauma
As products of our own environments, adults will often find themselves repeating the same behaviors witnessed and experienced in childhood. This is because the neural pathways developed from childhood traumatic experiences shape keep us stuck in these unhealthy patterns and ways of relating.
As products of our own environments, adults will often find themselves repeating the same behaviors witnessed and experienced in childhood. This is because the neural pathways developed from childhood traumatic experiences shape keep us stuck in these unhealthy patterns and ways of relating.
To say all of this is not meant to place blame on caregivers for the types of relationships formed in your adult life. However, increasing awareness of your own attachment style can help you take those first steps towards recognizing patterns and improving your relationships as an adult. With newfound awareness you can move to form securely attached relationships with your partner and with your own children.
Processing those difficult childhood memories of abuse and neglect can help you to make new neural connections with more adaptive experiences in your life and thus alter that inner-voice that keeps your stuck in poor patterns of behavior.
Where to go From Here?
At Long Island EMDR, we understand how complex childhood trauma affects you as an adult, which is why we specialize in EMDR and trauma-focused therapies. We are here to help guide and support you through your journey of processing past hurts and forming healthier connections.
Keep Shining,