Poor mental health can affect so many parts of your life including your relationships with others, your
performance at work, and even day-to-day tasks such as daily hygiene. Daily hygiene such as
taking a shower, brushing your teeth, and doing your laundry may seem like simple tasks for
some, but for someone struggling with mental illness these same tasks can feel like pushing a
300-pound boulder up a hill. But why?

Why does mental health make it so hard to take a shower?

For starters, depression is often characterized by diminished interest in activities and feeling
fatigued. In other words, you probably have little motivation or energy to maintain your hygiene
when you’re feeling depressed. But depression isn’t the only mental health diagnosis that affects
daily hygiene. Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, and PTSD have all been linked to
negative impacts on daily hygiene.

So what can you do when mental illness is affecting your hygiene?

For starters, you can try some of these techniques:
If taking a shower seems like a lot of work, try starting by just standing under the water for a
minute. Yes, you may not be as clean as if you used soap, but it will make the task of showering
seem less intimidating and can help you both physically and mentally.
Think convenience! Use things like antiperspirant, dry shampoo and wipes regularly. You can
buy cleaning wipes (usually made for kids) almost anywhere, and they don’t require any water!
If you have days where taking a shower seems like too much work, there’s no shame in doing
what you can to maintain hygiene.

If you absolutely cannot bring yourself to brush your teeth, use mouthwash with extra fluoride
and rinse liberally for as long as you can. You can also take more preventative measures such as
using a toothpaste with extra fluoride so you have extra protection when you do brush, and visit
the dentist for more consistent checkups (say every 6 months versus every year).
If you’re struggling to do your laundry, ask for help. A friend or family member may be willing
to help you tackle the overwhelming pile of laundry that’s been building for the last few weeks.
If you have social supports, utilize them! You can also use this as a time to catch up with your
loved ones.

What if all of these are still too overwhelming?

If you’re struggling to practice hygiene even when you know you should, you may need help.
In general, you should reach out for help if an issue is making it difficult to function. If your poor
hygiene is starting to affect things like work, school, personal relationships, or your health,
consider contacting a professional. A therapist can help you further explore your struggles with
hygiene, and provide you with appropriate skills to make managing your hygiene a little bit
easier. If you think psychotherapy may benefit you, feel free to reach out to our office to
schedule an appointment.

-Jennifer Tietjen, LMSW

Many of my clients have difficulty living the life they want and need to feel truly happy. They struggle with expectations placed on them by others, feelings of guilt if they put themselves first and most days feel like they cannot catch their breathe. Trauma therapy can help you to end old patterns and put yourself first. Self-care isn't selfish- I know it's a clique but it is true. You need to take care of you to be your best self for your family, friends and career. If this is speaking to you, strap in- I have some Pro-tips for you.

1. Evaluate Your Values

What is most important to you? List 3 things. Could be family, honesty, integrity, compassion, trust etc. Then you need to start seeing if your actions actually align with your values. Those that do keep at them- those that don't make an effort to change them. For example, if you choose "family, compassion and health" and you are offered an additional work shift. Is taking this shift detracting from your family time? Do you need a mental health break or day off to take care of you? If so say no. If it's to help a colleague who is going through a rough time and you feel you have enough time on another day to take care of you and spend time with family and you want to honor that "compassion" value you can also say yes. Seeing how our actions are in align with our values helps us to begin living a life that makes us happy- not a life that is spent trying to appease or please others.

2. Set Some Boundaries

In set with setting those values is setting up some boundaries with those around us. When we have no boundaries- meaning we having difficulty saying no or often do things out of pleasing others even if it's not what we want- we continue to feel exhausted, unhappy and overwhelmed. Boundaries despite what childhood may have taught you are actually healthy. Saying "No I'm sorry I can't go out tonight", "No I won't be able to take on that extra project with my current workload as it stands",or "I would appreciate if you refrained from "xyz" in front of my children" is the first step to reducing our triggers, reducing your stress load and giving yourself the time to focus on you and do what makes YOU happy.

3. Let Go of the Guilt

Often times my clients struggle with boundaries because of the guilt they feel in saying no to others. They feel responsible to take on the problems of those around them. They are accustom to the role of "fixer". Those around them, often family members but sometimes even colleagues or bosses sometimes push back on boundaries set and plead or ridicule them if they don't get what they want. I'm not going to say setting boundaries is an easy task when you are accustom to saying "yes" to everything because your role has always been to put others before you. But I will say the more you stick to your boundaries, the less others push back over time. It helps to see if keeping those boundaries is in alignment with your values or the type of person you are aspiring to be. Simple answer my look like "yes, I value helping others". With a closer look though it's easy to see it is hard to be our best self for others when you are running on empty. As I often tell my trauma therapy clients, and as they say on the air plane "put your mask on first" before you help those around you. It also helps to make a list of the short term positive gain of letting others violate your boundary and the long term consequences. For example, lets say you have difficulty saying no at work and are constantly taking on additional tasks asked of you.

After making this list you may decide to have a conversation with your boss and say "I would love to be able to help with that project but I already have 3 other projects I am currently working on. I will need to finish those first before I can take on any more. It's important to me that the quality of my work meets the standard and I am afraid I won't be able to complete all projects to our client's expectations." Starting an honest dialogue can help you feel more in control and will likely make you a better employee. Same with friends and family, when you are happier and more relaxed you can be your best self for your spouse, children, parents and friends. If this seems daunting, trauma therapy can surely help you work through your fears and doubts.

Need Help?

If this sounds daunting, you may need some extra support in navigating beginning to set boundaries and taking back control of your life. This is really common with clients who have trauma, are children of alcoholics, were parentified children (children that functioned more as parents), and those with low self-esteem and attachment difficulties (as they often fear boundaries will push others away). Trauma therapy can help! Just like my clients you can take back your life, begin to feel in control, less overwhelmed, more peaceful and joyful. You deserve happiness too. If you need the extra support in getting there give our office a call. We would love to help you on that journey.

Sending love & light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

Having an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has grown in popularity over the past 10 years, however animal assisted therapy is not a new concept. The Greeks were the first to notice that horses could lift the spirits of sick patients as far back as 600 BC. Animal assisted therapy was again present during the 1600s, when horses were utilized to help improve the health of their patients physically and mentally. During the 1800s, Florence Nightingale noted the reduction of anxiety in her psychiatric patients when they spent time with animals. 

You may ask yourself this question, “Isn’t just having a pet enough?” Having a pet has been proven to have innumerable mental health benefits, for example:

• Lowered stress levels due linked to lowering blood pressure and heart rate
• Helping cope with depression due to the elevation of mood, encouragement of physical activity, and healthy distraction from negative thoughts
• Reduction in feelings of isolation and loneliness
• Improved sense of well-being
• Improved sense of control over one’s life due to the consistency and routine of caring for a pet 

So, with all of these benefits, you may question the need for an emotional support animal. Here are some notable differences between having a pet and having an emotional support animal:

1. An emotional support animal is prescribed for a specific mental health diagnosis, such as anxiety, depression, panic attacks, PTSD, and Autism Spectrum Disorder. Without one of these qualifying diagnoses, it is unlikely that your pet will be approved as an emotional support animal.
2. Emotional Support Animals will spend more time with you, both inside and outside of the home. They often accompany individuals to work, school, traveling, and other situations that may trigger mental health symptoms to arise.
3. Emotional Support Animals are allowed to stay in rental properties where pet restrictions are in place. The Housing Amendments Act states that landlords must make reasonable accommodations for tenants to live with their emotional support animals.
4. Emotional Support Animals have more access to public spaces. Although it is up to each public space to make their own judgement about whether or not an emotional support animal can enter their domain, individuals are much more likely to be accommodating for an Emotional Support Animal. 
5. And finally, Emotional Support Animals can travel with you via airplanes as a result of the Air Carrier Access Act, which means you do not have to spend your vacation apart from one another.

Next steps

If you believe an ESA will aid your mental health, the next steps are to talk to a licensed mental health provider to gain the proper diagnosis and documentation in order to do so. Your existing pet can become an Emotional Support Animal, or you can obtain a new animal solely for this purpose. Certain breeds offer more benefits than others, however there are no restrictions on what qualifies as an ESA. As with any healthy coping skill, you will gain the most benefits for your mental health from having an Emotional Support Animal in conjunction with mental health treatment/therapy, so keep this in mind when making your decision. 

By Alexandria Baxter, LMSW

Long Island EMDR is proud to be offering Telehealth services for our current and incoming clients, but we understand that it also may be a foreign concept to our community. We hope to address any questions and concerns you may have about this revolutionary platform for providing and receiving mental health care.

What is Telehealth?

Telehealth is the process of engaging in mental health therapeutic treatment through an online, secure video platform. Telehealth involves a licensed mental health clinician connecting with and providing therapeutic services to clients in need of mental health support and help through a HIPAA-Compliant online video/audio platform. Telehealth is not a new concept, but has been evolving and refining as technology progresses and is now a nearly-comparable experience for certain in-person mental health therapies.

What does Telehealth look like?

The practice and platforms of Telehealth are constantly updating as advancements in technology are made, but the bare bones of Telehealth involves speaking with a live Licensed Mental Health Provider through audio and ideally video. Most Hipaa-compliant platforms facilitate video conferencing, but some go further and provide interactive elements such as a collaborative whiteboard or handout sharing. Mental Health Therapists are trained to operate in a quiet and confidential setting, void of interruptions or people within ear-shot. Tele Therapists encourage their clients to set up a laptop or table with video access in a quiet and private setting in their homes. Clients are typically given a link to open which will give them access to the confidential video conference. Most platforms do not require clients to create a log in or profile, but some may ask for a client to input their name and basic identifying information for therapists to know who is entering the video. Sessions typically last for the standard 45 minutes but may be adjusted based on the specific needs and capabilities of the client. In order for Telehealth to work, both parties need reliable internet access. In cases where reliable internet is not accessible, speaking on the phone may be permitted on a case-by-case basis.

Is it Confidential?

Confidentiality is the state of keeping and maintaining privacy and is the foundational element to mental health therapy that helps clients to feel safe to explore their deepest thoughts, worries, memories, and struggles. Therapists are bound by ethics and the law to maintain confidentiality so long as everyone is physically safe, with a few exceptions involving judge orders and parental rights. Because of the importance of confidentiality, health care companies have developed platforms that align with standards of the national HIPAA Act, which is a legal regulation that establishes the protection of every individual’s personal health information. Because of the HIPAA Act, therapists are unable to utilize less regulated platforms like Facetime and Skype to conduct therapy sessions, as those platforms do not adhere to HIPAA standards. Therapists who conduct Telehealth sessions are enrolled in a specific program that facilitates secure dialogue. These programs are designed to be user friendly and easily accessible to clients with internet.

Would I benefit from Telehealth?

Most mental health providers that offer in-person therapy utilize Telehealth as a “plan B” when faced with circumstances that limit or prohibit face-to-face interaction. Not all types of therapies operate best through telehealth, but many can be effectively conducted through secure online platforms. Licensed Mental Health Providers are trained to discern which therapies would be most effective when conducting therapy through Telehealth. Likewise, a trained and licensed mental health professional will be able to help you navigate your struggles and decide if Telehealth is the appropriate platform to use. Many people do prefer in-person therapy, but Telehealth opens the doors to certain populations that are unable to access in-person therapy due to mental or physical challenges. Likewise, certain environmental or safety circumstances may limit or prohibit in-person therapy as an option, thus making Telehealth a great resource to have available.

If you are struggling with a social, emotional, or mental challenge and are experiencing limitations or hesitations to seeking in-person therapy, Telehealth may be a great option for you. All of our therapists at Long Island EMDR are undergoing trainings and peer supervisions to advance their abilities in providing quality and effective Telehealth services for you and/or your family. In response to the limitations and restrictions caused by COVID-19, our therapists are working diligently to provide Telehealth services for our community. Please reach out today if you or a loved one is in need, and our therapists can help guide you to finding the best fit for the care you need.

TF-CBT may sound like an intense acronym and a bit overwhelming. We therapists love our acronyms! It stands for Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. In everyday terms, it is a trauma-focused intervention that is specifically for people from ages 3 to 18 that are diagnosed with PTSD due to experiencing a traumatic event. The key components of TF-CBT that make it a unique intervention is it utilizes measures to track symptoms, it emphasizes gradual exposure, it includes the caregiver throughout the entire treatment, and it provides the client and caregiver with multiple skills to utilize at home to combat symptoms. Also, to become fully certified and recognized on the roster, a clinician must complete a year-long intensive training that includes multiple two-day in-person seminars, biweekly supervision with a consultant, monthly group consultation calls, and an exam at the end if the clinician chooses to become nationally certified. Throughout the training, the clinician is working with at least two cases and receiving constant supervision to ensure fidelity to this model.

The Measures

Within the first couple of sessions, the clinician will ask the client and caregiver to complete some pre-treatment measures. These measures will be completed before treatment and then after treatment to show exactly how and where the client and caregiver have improved. Trauma and PTSD symptoms in a child have a significant effect on caregivers as well, so some of the measures will be specific to the caregiver. TF-CBT has a significant amount of research to back up why and how it works. Measuring symptoms before and after treatment continues to add to that research as clinicians can track symptoms with clients and provide clients and caregivers with straight numbers to show improvements. Often it can be difficult for the client to feel the changes at first, so tracking symptoms is helpful to instill hope as well.

Gradual Exposure

This is another one of those therapy words that we all love. Gradual exposure means that the clinician will not dive into the dark depths of the trauma right off the bat. Flooding is a term that is used often in therapy and it means overwhelming the client by moving too deeply too quickly during trauma treatment. TF-CBT emphasizes gradual exposure every single step of the way to avoid flooding and an increase in symptoms. We want to dip our toe in the water and SLOWLY move into the shallow end and eventually into the deep end of the pool. We never want to jump into the deep end when it comes to trauma. One of the first steps of TF-CBT is teaching the client and caregiver coping skills. Coping skills are used for two main reasons: to begin decreasing symptoms and to provide client and caregiver with tools to use to calm themselves as the trauma is being processed throughout treatment.

The Caregiver

The caregiver is an integral part of treatment for many reasons. The caregiver provides support for the client and is with the client day in and day out. The trauma the client experienced also significantly affects the caregiver. It is difficult to care for a child that has experienced a trauma. It can trigger the caregiver if he/she has his/her own past trauma, it can be traumatizing and cause the caregiver to experience symptoms of anxiety or vicarious trauma, and it is difficult to fully understand the client’s symptoms and behaviors related to the trauma. Education is an important part of TF-CBT, as well. Psycho-education is provided throughout treatment to the client and the caregiver. It is important that both parties understand the ins and outs of trauma to better equip themselves to heal from it. A caregiver can be a parent, another family member, a foster parent, a social worker, or whoever is the primary caretaker of the child at that time. It is ideal to have someone that will be able to commit to the full process of treatment to provide the greatest benefits to the child. TF-CBT treatment works to heal the child and the family because trauma often ripples farther than we realize.

TF-CBT The Skills

As I mentioned earlier, the clinician will provide the client and caregiver with coping skills from the beginning of treatment. These skills will include calming skills, grounding skills, communication skills, and mindfulness skills. The skills will be tailored to the client’s and caregiver’s symptoms. One of the goals of providing these skills is to allow the client and caregiver to see that they can begin to combat the symptoms in a healthy way. It is ideal that the client and caregiver work on these skills together outside of sessions to increase efficiency. These skills are also important as the client continues in treatment and begins to get to the deep side of the pool that involves the details of the traumatic experience. These skills will allow the client and caregiver to be able to walk into those deep dark places knowing they can come out of them and ground themselves and calm themselves. Coping skills can provide a sense of empowerment to the client and caregiver during treatment and throughout life.

Valerie Smith is our lead clinician doing TF-CBT. For more information on TF-CBT please contact us.

An estimated 1 in 10 US adults report feeling depressed. Untreated Depression can lead to a variety of problems including relationship problems, workplace problems, and an increased likelihood of the depressed person engaging in risky behaviors such as drug and alcohol abuse. As a depression therapist, I can understand why you may be concerned for your loved one.

If you have a loved one suffering from depression, it’s hard to know what to say. I’m sure there have been plenty of times when you said the wrong thing. And with the severity of depression, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time could have a devastating impact on the one you love.

Below are some guidelines for knowing what to say (and what not to say) to a loved one with depression.

Remember for all of these guidelines, the simple rule in talking to someone with depression is to keep the focus on them and not you. While their depression certainly does impact you, their depression is not about you. Talking about how you are impacted by your loved one’s depression will not help alleviate the depression.

Tips From a Depression Therapist

1. You want your loved one to know that you are there for them and while you may not understand what they are going through, you will try to understand.

Try saying: “You’re not alone” or “I can’t really understand what you are going through, but I’m here to listen if you need to talk.”

Avoid saying: “There’s always someone worse off than you are.” or “Believe me, I know how you feel. I was depressed once for several days.”

2. You want your loved one to know that they matter to you and that you’re not going to leave their life because they are depressed.

Try saying: “You are important to me. I’m not going to leave you or abandon you.”

Avoid saying: “No one ever said that life is fair.” or “I think your depression is a way of punishing me.”

3. You want your loved one to know that you’re here to help them and will be there to support them.

At the same time you don’t want to push your loved one too hard into seeking help. You’re more likely going to drive a wedge between you and your loved one if they are not ready to seek help yet on their own.

Try saying: “Do you want a hug?” or “I’m sorry that you’re in so much pain. I’m here for you.”

Avoid saying: “Stop feeling sorry for yourself” or “Have you tried taking a relaxing bath?”

4. Depression is real.

While it may not be something you can physically touch or directly observe people who are depressed are genuinely not feeling well. Depression can have physical symptoms that are observable, but not all people who are depressed experience physical symptoms. You want your loved one to know that you believe that they are depressed.

Try saying: “You’re not going crazy.”

Avoid saying: “Aren’t you always depressed?”

5. You want to express to your loved one that there is hope.

Depression doesn’t have to be forever. A depressed person can get help and start feeling better. Depression is something that one can survive through.

Try saying: “When all this is over, I’ll still be here and so will you.”

Avoid saying: “Try not to be so depressed.” or “It’s your own fault.”

If you or a loved one are struggling with depression, give us a call. Our depression therapist can help you feel better and start enjoying life once again.  

It’s okay to be! Feeling emotions can be difficult at first especially if you're used to pushing everything down. Everyone has a unique life, and our mental health plays a big role in how our “unique life” comes to be. Struggling with mental health is completely normal! It is just as normal as not struggling with mental health. Oftentimes, people associate the term “mental health” with derogatory words, stigma, as well as prejudice. Here at Long Island EMDR it is our mission to separate ourselves from what may be so heavily broadcasted. 

Throughout the past couple of years, the term “mental health” has been in the spotlight due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic and its numerous effects on people’s mental well-being. However, much more is needed than an ongoing movement. In order for the movement to be effective, people must become comfortable with feeling! There are several organizations that have been created in order to support mental health treatment, advocacy, as well as research. Some of the organizations are:

1. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
2. Strong Minds- Mental Health Africa
3. The Trevor Project
4. Born this Way Foundation
5. National Alliance on Mental Illness

But what about you?

Are you ready to start feeling? If the answer is yes, then let's begin meet with a Suffolk County therapist! If the answer is no, that is completely okay and you are on the right path towards doing so! Here are some steps that will help you start the journey towards an improved mental state of mind:

1. Identify: What exactly are you uncomfortable with feeling? Do you think it’s generalized or do you think that it’s situational? Asking yourself some questions about what you are feeling, experiencing, thinking is a great way to put a label to some of the emotions that are running through your head. But, once you identify the emotion, what do you do with it?
2. Self-compassion- The term compassion is defined as, “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” If we are able to have this sense of compassion towards others, why can’t we treat ourselves the same? Because it’s hard to!! Being nice to ourselves is more than just giving ourselves a pat on the back, acknowledge the pain or even acknowledge the happiness.
3. Self-awareness- Having a good sense of self-awareness can continue to help you practice self-compassion, mindfulness, coping skills, etc. You can practice self-awareness through journaling, meditating, breathing exercises, anything that allows you to focus on yourself.
4. Talk- Sometimes being alone with your own thoughts, feelings, and/or emotions can be overwhelming and intimidating. Which is normal, and why talking to others is so heavily encouraged. Being able to talk with a friend or family member may seem awkward or uncomfortable, but you may be opening a door that needs to be opened. Talking with a therapist is another great way to explore your mental health. 

Now ask yourself again, are you a stranger to learning more about your own mental health and are you ready to explore? If so call our office to meet with a Suffolk County therapist. I’d love to guide you on that Journey.

-Conor Ohland, MHC-LP

As human beings we are ever-growing. As time goes by we encounter new things that pique our interest or reflect on habits that we would like to take on. Despite having the mental motivation to form a new habit, we don’t always have the full buy-in to start the process. As a therapist specializing in depression therapy, I have some pro-tips to help you begin to tackle that beast. There are many ways to harness your motivation to get you towards your goals so we’ve included a short list of ways to ignite your inner fire to form a new habit. 

1. Reflect on Habits You Have Already Made

Sometimes getting started is the most difficult part and we need an extra boost to get going, especially when you are experiencing depression. One way to do this is to remember all the habits we have already formed to remind us of our past accomplishments with the goal for bringing that same energy into the present as we embark on forming a new habit. Another benefit of reminding ourselves of our capacity to grow is giving ourselves some positive reinforcement. While forming a new habit we can be quite hard on ourselves for any bumps we encounter along the process, however by reminding ourselves of times when we have overcome similar barriers we can redirect our focus to our ability to change and persevere. 

2. Make A List of Some Habits You Would Like To Have

Once you have that extra boost from reflecting on past accomplishments you can start to make a short list of habits you would like to have and choose which habit you would like to focus on. For more details on setting your intention, please see our blog post here.

3. Embody the Person Who Has The Habit

Now that we have a clear idea of our ability to change and a clear goal in mind, we can begin to embody the qualities of a person who has the habit we would like to have. By connecting with qualities of the person who has our desired habit, we will further reinforce our belief in our own capacity to change our patterns.  Depression does not need to run your life.

Forming new habits can be challenging and re-establishing our connection with our inherent motivation can be a key factor to our success. If you feel like you need additional support in enhancing your motivation, please call our office to meet with a therapist to help support you in your goals to live a full life. 

Best, 

Marissa Ahern, LMSW

Now more than ever, tension between those with differing political opinions is at an all time high. Challenges with the economy, a global pandemic, racial inequality, gun violence, and more-all of these issues have many looking toward a greater entity like our government help find a solution. Frustration, hopelessness, despair, and fear are prevalent, which has contributed to the intensity of the current political discord. What do you do when some of the strongest differences of beliefs and opinions are with your family and friends? Here are some strategies on how to handle political disagreements with the ones we love while respecting and preserving your mental health.

1. Avoid the topic all together.

There is no shame in knowing your triggers and doing your best to avoid them. Oftentimes, it is necessary to separate yourself until you are able to learn and incorporate the coping skills to manage your emotions when confronted with these troubling situations. This may not be a permanent solution; however, it can be a very valuable gift of self-compassion to know your emotional limitations. For some individuals you come across, it may never be a good idea to engage with them on this topic. Be brave enough to take a step back and avoid putting yourself in the line of fire to be hurt emotionally.  

2. Be open-minded

Some of you may scoff at this suggestion, stating to yourself, “ME be open minded? THEY need to be open minded!” This is where the expression, “Be the change you wish to see in the world” comes into play. Try to understand why the person thinks the way they do before dismissing their believes as outlandish or illogical. Suspend your judgements, and instead embody an attitude of curiosity and understanding. This will decrease defensiveness in the conversation and increase the likelihood that the other person will listen to what you have to say.

3. Remain calm.

As stated earlier, there are a number important issues at stake in the political sphere, which in turn can result in individuals being very passionate about their beliefs. This passion can easily turn to anger when not harnessed properly, or you come across someone with beliefs that you think are “part of the problem.” Anger clouds rational thought, and no productive discussion will occur when anger arises. Take deep breathes in and out through the nose. Do your best to keep your voice volume low and free of anger or sarcasm. Maintain non-confrontational body language through relaxed gestures, posture, and body movement. Even if the other person begins to escalate, if you remain calm it will most likely prevent the conversation from turning into an argument. Remind yourself, “This discussion is not worth my peace of mind.” 

4. Find Common Ground.

It is easy to focus on all of the ways that we are different from one another. In a political climate that pins one group against another, it can be challenging to avoid getting caught up in that line of thinking for ourselves. However, as a clinician who has extensive experience studying human behavior, one fact I know to be true is this: We are a lot more alike than we are different. Although the path to getting there may differ, most people are striving for happiness, safety, and connection. It may be helpful to try and find an issue you both can agree on in order to foster a mentality of togetherness rather than division. Look for even the smallest of opportunities to point out beliefs/values/desires that are similar. Doing so can be helpful in fostering the dynamic and of understanding, which will lead to a much more productive conversation.

5. Know when to walk away.

Learning how to handle political disagreements with the ones we love, involves learning when to walk away. Oftentimes, political conversations have a tendency of continuing in circles until one person gives up, stating, “Let’s just agree to disagree.” Although this statement may seem harmless, it can leave both parties feeling unheard and as if the conversation was a waste of time. Instead, try to end the conversation before it gets either too repetitive, argumentative, emotional, or unproductive. End the conversation by stating something like, “I appreciate the information you’ve given me. It has given me a lot to think about. Let’s revisit this at another time.” This ends the conversation respectfully, as well as validating the other person’s time and energy put forth into speaking with you.  

I hope you find these strategies helpful in maintaining peace of mind amongst what can be a triggering topic. Always remember to prioritize your mental health, reach out for support, and practice self-care before and after each interaction. You’ve got this!

By Alexandria Baxter, LMSW

Let’s be honest… the majority of people use social media every day. Social media is great in so many ways- it allows us to stay in touch with friends and family all across the world, helps us spread awareness about causes we care about and share meaningful events in our lives. As with everything some aspects of social media are not as great as others. As social media platforms advance and offer new ways to connect with other people, it also offers new ways to get access to more content faster which may cause us to spend more time scrolling through posts than we would like to admit. 

Here are some tips on how to build a healthier relationship with social media

1. Notice the Types of Content You Are Viewing

Each social media platform allows us to follow specific types of accounts with certain types of content. Take an inventory of the posts you’re seeing and notice what the overall message is. Notice how you feel about yourself after viewing your feed and identify what type of content could be causing you to feel negatively about yourself. 

2. Unfollow Accounts That Make You Feel Bad About Yourself

If you take an objective look at the types of accounts you follow and realize the majority of content features people who have body types that make you see yourself in a negative light, it is time to unfollow the account. We can unknowingly follow multiple accounts featuring people with idealized body types or lifestyles that can flood us with indirect messages saying that we aren’t enough. This can make us feel like we have to overcompensate to feel valid on the same platform that is making us feel “less-than” so we post content that we don’t always connect with to feel like we fit in. If you notice accounts you are following are causing this negative reaction within yourself, this can be an opportunity to follow content that sends positive affirmations so social media can truly be a fun pastime as intended. 

3. Pay Attention to How Many Hours/Day You Are On Your Phone

It’s unlikely that we keep a timer on while we’re doing a quick scroll through social media while we wait for a meeting to start or while we’re hanging out on the couch. We don’t realize that a quick 10 minutes here and there can actually add up to a few hours of our day. There are applications and settings on our smartphones that can help us keep track of our screen time. By genuinely tracking our screen time we can realize how much time per day we are actually disconnected from our present environment. 

4. Be Kind to Yourself

We can have a lot of judgments towards ourselves about our social media intake. Self-judgment is unhelpful because it further validates negative feelings we have about ourselves. This is why our final recommendation to build a healthier relationship with social media is to be kind to yourself if you choose to examine your current social media habits. Sometimes things get away from us other times we don’t realize the impact something has on us until we’re invited to take a look. Whatever your process is, be kind to yourself and remember that we can only do the best we can with the information available to us at the time. 

We all deserve to feel good about ourselves and we are all worthy of receiving content that will encourage us to think realistically and highly of ourselves. If you struggle with a negative self-image, please give our office a call so we can create a space to recognize your strengths together. 

-Marissa Ahern, LMSW