Twice-exceptional (2e) students are children who are both intellectually gifted and have one or more disabilities. This unique combination often results in asynchronous development—advanced talents in some areas alongside significant challenges in others. Because their gifts and disabilities can mask each other, 2e students frequently go undetected. In fact, twice-exceptional learners are considered “among the most under-identified and underserved” groups in U.S. schools. This report explores how schools can better recognize and support 2e students by examining best practices, barriers to services, legal protections, inclusive strategies, successful programs, and key recommendations.

Challenges in Identifying 2e Students and Accessing Services

Masking and Misdiagnosis: A major challenge is the masking effect where giftedness can hide a disability and vice versa. For example, a bright student with dyslexia might use advanced reasoning skills to compensate in reading, causing educators to overlook the reading disability. Conversely, struggles in one area may lead teachers to underestimate a child’s high potential. This can lead to misdiagnoses or missed diagnoses; many 2e kids are misidentified as lazy underachievers or labeled solely with a disability, missing the gifted identification.

Inadequate Identification Procedures: Most school districts lack formal processes to identify twice-exceptional students. As a result, many 2e learners are not flagged for either gifted or special education programs. One study noted two systemic obstacles: insufficient identification procedures and the resulting lack of appropriate services. Without multi-faceted evaluations (cognitive, academic, behavioral), 2e students can slip through the cracks. Experts advise a multi-dimensional approach to assessment – combining IQ subtests, academic achievement, and observation – and adjusting gifted cutoffs to account for learning differences.

Lack of Teacher Training: Many educators have limited training on twice-exceptionality. Teachers may only be taught to spot deficits (learning disabilities) or strengths (giftedness), but not the paradoxical mix of both. This knowledge gap leads to misinterpretation of 2e behaviors. For instance, a teacher unfamiliar with 2e might assume a child “can’t be smart and struggle” – reflecting the common but faulty belief that gifted students cannot have disabilities. Professional development is often lacking; in one survey, 90% of teachers felt they didn’t have the training or support to address diverse learner variability, including 2e needs.

Rigid School Policies: Traditional school policies can inadvertently become barriers. Eligibility criteria for gifted programs may rely on high test scores, excluding gifted students whose disabilities depress their performance. At the same time, special education referral might be denied for a high-performing child, even if that child struggles enormously to achieve those grades. Some schools have even denied services because a child’s grades were too high, as parents report schools saying an IEP or 504 plan isn’t needed due to good academic performance. This “wait to fail” mentality delays support until the student falls far behind or develops serious emotional issues. Bias and equity issues also play a role: 2e students from under-resourced families often lack access to private evaluations, and culturally diverse 2e kids may be overlooked due to testing biases or stereotypes in identification.

Social-Emotional Struggles: Without proper support, 2e students can face significant social and emotional challenges. They may experience chronic anxiety from sensory overload or the stress of unmet needs. Emotional dysregulation is common, as these children often feel frustrated that their output doesn’t match their intellect. Being misunderstood or “out of sync” with peers can lead to low self-esteem and behavior problems. When schools don’t address these issues, 2e students may disengage or develop school avoidance.

Best Practices for Identifying and Supporting 2e Students

Early and Comprehensive Identification: Schools should use comprehensive evaluation strategies to identify 2e students as early as possible. Best practices include using both formal tests and informal measures (work samples, observations, parent input) to capture the full picture. Evaluators should separate cognitive subtest scores, looking for extreme highs and lows that indicate a gifted profile with specific deficits. Lowering the threshold for gifted program entry when a disability is present can help – for instance, considering a slightly lower test score if other signs of giftedness are evident. Additionally, using culturally fair and linguistically appropriate assessments helps prevent bias against diverse learners. Schools like those in Montgomery County, MD have had dedicated GT/LD identification teams, thanks in part to initiatives funded by the Jacob Javits Gifted Students Act. Such models ensure that a student’s strengths and weaknesses are both evaluated for dual services.

Strength-Based Approach: Once identified, a strength-based approach is key. This means nurturing the student’s gifts as much as remediating weaknesses. In practice, teachers can incorporate a student’s interests and talents into learning activities. For a 2e student who excels in storytelling but struggles with writing mechanics, a teacher might allow them to first dictate their imaginative story (leveraging their strength) before working on written revision (supporting the disability). Emphasizing strengths boosts engagement and self-esteem, which in turn motivates students to tackle their challenge areas. It shows the child that their gifts are valued, not overshadowed by their difficulties.

Differentiated Instruction: Differentiation is essential to address the extreme variation in 2e learners’ skills. Educators should adapt content, process, and products to each 2e student’s needs. For example: providing advanced materials or independent projects in an area of strength (to prevent boredom), while offering remediation or assistive tools in areas of weakness. Many 2e students have what’s called asynchronous development, where their intellectual ability far exceeds skills like reading, writing, or organization. Differentiation closes the gap by scaffolding their weaker skills without holding back their cognitive growth. Flexible pacing (accelerating in some subjects, slowing down in others) can also help match their unique profile.

Social-Emotional Learning (SEL): Teaching social and emotional skills is a best practice for supporting 2e students. Because of their intensities and struggles, 2e kids often need help with self-regulation, coping with frustration, and social skills. Integrating SEL lessons—like identifying emotions, using calming strategies, and practicing social problem-solving—can equip these students to handle stress and peer interactions better. For instance, explicitly teaching a 2e student how to recognize signs of anxiety and use breathing techniques can reduce meltdowns in class. Building resilience through a growth mindset is equally important; these students may not be used to struggle due to giftedness, so they need to learn that effort leads to improvement. Educators can foster this by celebrating small wins and framing challenges as opportunities to grow.

Classroom Strategies: Teachers can adopt a variety of strategies proven to help 2e learners. Some effective techniques include:

• Student Choice: Whenever possible, allow 2e students to make choices in their learning—choosing research topics, books to read, or ways to present knowledge. Choice taps into their interests and increases engagement, which is crucial since 2e students often struggle with motivation on uninteresting tasks.
• Positive Reinforcement: Strive for a high ratio of praise to corrective feedback (aim for 4:1). Many 2e kids are used to hearing what they’re doing wrong due to their challenges. Regular, genuine praise for their effort, progress, or creativity can rebuild their confidence.
• Movement Breaks: Integrate movement breaks throughout the day. 2e students—especially those with ADHD or similar needs—often concentrate better after physical activity. Short stretching, walking, or sensory breaks help them reset and reduce stress.
• Assistive Technology: Use technology to support learning differences. Tools like text-to-speech software, graphic organizers, or adaptive learning programs can help a student with dyslexia access advanced texts or assist a student with dysgraphia in writing essays, allowing their ideas (gifted thinking) to shine without being limited by the disability.
• Structured Organization Support: Teach organizational strategies and provide visual schedules or checklists. A 2e student might have a brilliant mind for math but cannot keep track of assignments. Proactive supports (e.g., planner checks, color-coded folders) prevent executive function deficits from derailing academic performance.

Common Barriers to Services for 2e Students

Despite best practices, barriers persist that can prevent 2e students from getting appropriate services and accommodations:

• Misconceptions and Bias: As noted, a stubborn misconception is that a child can’t be both gifted and learning disabled. This leads some educators to dismiss one exceptionality in light of the other (e.g., “He’s smart, so he must just be lazy if he won’t write” or “She has dyslexia, so she can’t be that smart in literature”). Such attitudes result in denial of services that 2e students need. Additionally, bias can affect referrals; 2e students of color or from low-income families are at higher risk of being overlooked or not afforded costly evaluations.
• Rigid Eligibility Criteria: Gifted programs often rely on a single test score or strict cutoff, which may exclude 2e learners whose disability lowers their score. On the flip side, special education eligibility under IDEA requires showing the disability “adversely affects educational performance”, which schools sometimes interpret narrowly as low grades. A 2e child with high grades (achieved through immense effort or outside tutoring) might be deemed “not eligible” even though they struggle significantly. This rigidity fails to account for the extra time and effort the student spends to keep up.
• Denial of Dual Services: Historically, some schools have forced 2e students to choose between gifted services and special ed support, believing they couldn’t have both. This practice has been flagged as discriminatory. Federal guidance clarifies that schools may not force a student to forgo special education accommodations to participate in accelerated or gifted classes. Unfortunately, not all school staff are aware of this guidance, so parents sometimes hear “We can’t provide an IEP because his scores are too high” or “If she needs extra time, maybe honors class isn’t appropriate,” which are illegal stances under disability law.
• Limited Resources: Serving 2e students well can be resource-intensive, requiring collaboration between gifted and special ed departments, smaller class sizes, or specialized staff like twice-exceptional specialists or school psychologists trained in 2e. Many districts lack funding for robust gifted programs or have overstretched special education resources, leading to compromises in support. Large class sizes and a focus on test-driven curricula leave teachers little time to individualize for learner variability.
• Communication Gaps: Parents of 2e children often need to be strong advocates. A common barrier is poor communication or understanding between parents and schools. Parents may feel schools aren’t transparent about what they can and must do (for example, the full scope of evaluation rights and services), while schools may not fully grasp the child’s needs as seen at home. Building a collaborative relationship can be difficult if school personnel have not encountered 2e cases before.

Legal Protections Under IDEA and Section 504

Twice-exceptional students are protected by the same laws that cover students with disabilities in the U.S.:

• Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA): If a 2e student’s disability fits one of IDEA’s 13 categories and affects their schooling, they are entitled to an Individualized Education Program (IEP) with specific goals, accommodations, and services. Importantly, IDEA evaluations must be comprehensive, assessing all areas of suspected disability regardless of cognitive scores. A 2015 memo from the U.S. Department of Education reminded schools of their obligation to evaluate “all children, regardless of cognitive skills, suspected of having a disability”. This means a high-IQ student cannot be refused an evaluation simply due to good grades or IQ; schools must look at functional performance and emotional needs too. For 2e students, an IEP might include both advanced enrichment (to meet gifted needs) and special education services (to address the disability). Some states like Colorado even allow a dual identification where a student can be identified as gifted and qualify for special education concurrently.
• Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act (and ADA): Section 504 is a civil rights law that prevents disability-based discrimination in any school receiving federal funds. It ensures students with any disability that substantially limits a major life activity get accommodations through a 504 Plan. This is crucial for 2e students who may not qualify for an IEP (if their disability doesn’t require specialized instruction) but still need supports like extended time, assistive tech, or seating accommodations. The Office for Civil Rights (OCR) has explicitly stated that denying a qualified student with a disability access to accelerated programs because of their disability violates Section 504 and Title II of the ADA. In other words, a gifted student with a disability must be given equal opportunity to enroll in honors or AP classes with their needed accommodations – for example, a dyslexic gifted student should get audiobook support in an advanced literature class rather than being kept out of it. OCR also warns schools not to use high achievement as a reason to skip a 504 evaluation; a student can have straight A’s and still be eligible if they’re substantially limited by a disability in the effort or manner needed to achieve those grades.
• Free Appropriate Public Education (FAPE): Under both IDEA and Section 504, 2e students are entitled to FAPE – an education that is appropriate to their unique needs at no cost to parents. For a 2e child, “appropriate” should include both challenging enrichment and remediation. A 2007 federal guidance clarified that “educational performance” is more than academics; social-emotional needs should be considered too. Therefore, an appropriate program might include counseling or social skills training if needed for the student to benefit from instruction. If a school cannot meet a 2e student’s needs (for example, no gifted services are available), parents have rights under IDEA to pursue private placement or other remedies, though that can be a complex legal path.
• Gifted Education Laws: Gifted education policies vary by state; not all states mandate services for gifted students. However, as of 2007, federal interpretation holds that outright denial of gifted services to a student solely because they have a disability can be deemed discriminatory. Some states (like Colorado, Maryland, and others) actively promote 2e-friendly policies, requiring that gifted identification and special education evaluation processes inform each other. Educators and parents should be familiar with their state’s laws on gifted education and disability rights to advocate effectively.

Strategies for Creating Inclusive Learning Environments

To support 2e children, schools need to cultivate an inclusive environment that celebrates neurodiversity and provides flexible supports:

Universal Design for Learning (UDL): UDL is a framework that calls for designing curriculum usable by all students from the start. By offering multiple ways to engage, multiple ways to represent information, and multiple ways for students to express knowledge, UDL accommodates learner variability (which certainly includes 2e learners). For example, a UDL-designed lesson might include options for students to learn about a concept through reading, watching a video, or hands-on exploration (supporting different strengths and needs). A 2e student could choose a modality that plays to their strengths (say, a visual learner watches a demo) while still accessing the core content. UDL also encourages giving students choices and relevance in assignments, which, as noted, is motivating for 2e students. By planning for extremes (the gifted, the disabled, and the 2e who are both), UDL actually benefits all students, creating a richer learning experience.

Inclusive Classroom Practices: Effective inclusive classrooms have a supportive climate and proactive interventions. Co-teaching models (pairing a general educator and special educator) can work well, ensuring expertise in both gifted differentiation and accommodations. Teachers should openly discuss neurodiversity and set a tone that different learning needs are normal and respected. Simple practices like using person-first or identity-first language as the student prefers (e.g., “student with dyslexia” or “autistic student,” according to comfort), and highlighting role models who are neurodivergent and gifted, can reduce stigma. Classrooms can also have quiet corners or sensory tools available (e.g., noise-canceling headphones, fidget objects) – these help 2e students with sensory sensitivities or concentration difficulties to self-regulate without leaving the room.

Flexible Grouping and Schedules: An inclusive school may allow 2e students to flexibly group for instruction – for instance, joining a higher-grade math class for advanced instruction but receiving reading intervention in a smaller group at their level. Some schools implement a “cluster grouping” model, placing a small number of gifted or 2e students together in a class so that the teacher can more feasibly differentiate for that cluster. Resource rooms or pull-out enrichment can also be scheduled in a way that 2e students don’t have to miss core content; for example, enrichment during homeroom or special periods, and therapy or tutoring scheduled thoughtfully. The key is a schedule that doesn’t force a student to sacrifice one part of their learning for the other – both exceptional needs must be met.

Collaboration and Communication: Inclusive environments are built on teamwork. Special education staff, gifted program coordinators, school psychologists, and parents (and students themselves) should collaborate in planning the student’s program. Regular team meetings or shared IEP/Gifted plan reviews help ensure everyone is on the same page. Some schools create a “2e student profile” document for each identified student, summarizing their strengths, challenges, triggers, and effective strategies – this can travel with the student from year to year so new teachers immediately understand how to set up the classroom for success. Self-advocacy is another focus: encouraging 2e students to voice what helps them or to request accommodations when needed fosters independence and inclusion. For instance, a student could practice telling teachers, “I need graph paper to line up math problems” or “Can I take a 5-minute break? I’m feeling overwhelmed.” Cultivating this skill is part of an inclusive culture.

Examples of Successful School Programs and Initiatives

Many schools and districts have developed innovative programs to serve twice-exceptional learners. Here are a few examples that highlight what’s possible when educators intentionally support 2e students:

• Montgomery County Public Schools (Maryland): Montgomery County was a pioneer in recognizing 2e students. It established a GT/LD program (Gifted and Talented/Learning Disabled) with specialized staff and the Wings Mentor Program. In this program, 2e students receive enriched curriculum appropriate for gifted learners along with accommodations and direct instruction for their disabilities. The Wings Mentor Program pairs students with a mentor teacher who monitors their progress and ensures their needs in both areas are met. This district-wide initiative has been cited as a model of coordinated services. As a result, many 2e students in Montgomery County have thrived without having to leave public school.
• The Calais School (New Jersey): Calais is a state-approved special education school that runs a dedicated Twice-Exceptional Program. It offers a gifted & talented curriculum for students with learning disabilities, using differentiated instruction to build on gifts while supporting learning differences. Calais received an Innovation in Education Award for this program. Students might spend part of the day in accelerated classes (like advanced science with hands-on projects) and part in therapeutic support or skills classes. The program’s success is measured by students making academic gains and improvements in confidence. Calais demonstrates how a strengths-based, whole-child approach can yield awards-winning results.
• Winston Preparatory School (New York/New Jersey): Winston Prep is a private school originally in NYC that expanded to NJ, focusing on students with learning disorders, including those who are 2e. Students are grouped by learning needs, not just grade level, and the school uses a “continuous feedback system” to adapt each student’s Individualized Education Program (IEP) dynamically. Daily one-on-one sessions (Focus Program) help students build skills and self-awareness. This model shows how frequent monitoring and mentorship can personalize learning for 2e students. Winston Prep’s approach – mixing students with similar profiles and adjusting supports weekly – leads to IEPs that truly reflect current needs.
• The Jayne S. Carmody School (New Jersey): Initially a “school within a school” at Rumson Country Day School, Carmody School grew into a program that serves academically advanced students with language-based learning disabilities. It follows an inclusive model: students attend regular classes with peers for most subjects and get specialized instruction for their area of need (like reading) in a separate setting. The program carefully admits students who are a good fit, aiming to “thread the needle” so that they can handle the challenge and benefit from support. Its expansion and success underscore that private independent schools can also adapt to serve 2e learners, keeping siblings together and fostering empathy among classmates.
• State Initiatives (Colorado 2e Project): On a broader scale, state education departments have started initiatives. Colorado’s Department of Education defines 2e in its rules and runs a Twice-Exceptional Project that provides statewide professional learning on identifying and supporting 2e students. They offer online courses for educators (“Define 2e Learners” and “Recognize 2e Learners”) and a 2e Summer Institute. This state-level approach has influenced several Colorado districts (Thompson, Jeffco, Boulder Valley) to create local 2e guidelines and resource websites. It serves as a leading example of policy facilitating practice change.

These examples illustrate that with commitment and creativity, schools can successfully integrate the dual needs of twice-exceptional students. The common thread is recognition of 2e as a distinct category requiring a tailored approach, and leadership that prioritizes these learners.

Recommendations for Educators and Policymakers

Supporting twice-exceptional students requires action at multiple levels. Below are key recommendations:

For Educators and School Administrators:

• Increase Awareness and Training: Learn about twice-exceptionality through professional development. Schools should host workshops on 2e characteristics, identification techniques, and teaching strategies. When teachers understand that a student can be both gifted and disabled, they are more likely to recognize 2e students in their classroom. Training should also address biases and emphasize equity in referrals (e.g., ensure diverse students are considered for gifted testing and special ed evaluations).
• Implement Early Screening and MTSS: Incorporate 2e considerations into early screening processes. If a young child shows high ability but also behavioral or learning red flags, don’t adopt a “wait and see” approach. Use a Multi-Tiered System of Supports (MTSS) framework to provide enrichment and remediation as needed, even before formal identification. Progress monitoring will help decide if a special education evaluation or gifted identification is warranted sooner.
• Strengthen Evaluation Teams: Create multidisciplinary teams (including a school psychologist, special educator, gifted specialist, and the student’s teacher) to jointly evaluate referred students for both giftedness and disabilities. Using a comprehensive assessment plan (covering IQ, achievement, creativity, adaptive behavior, etc.) will yield better identification. If possible, allow outside expert reports (neuropsychological evaluations) to inform school decisions, as these often provide deeper insight into 2e profiles.
• Develop Dual-Service Plans: When a student is identified as 2e, ensure their educational plan addresses both exceptionalities. This could mean writing an IEP that also notes gifted needs or having an IEP and a Gifted Individualized Education Plan (GIEP) in tandem. Coordination is key – schedule one meeting with all teams present, rather than separate meetings that silo gifted and special ed. Aim to craft goals that leverage strengths to meet needs (e.g., a goal for a gifted writer with ADHD might focus on using his creativity (strength) to practice planning and completing multi-step assignments (need)).
• Flexible Accommodations: Be creative with accommodations. Standard supports like extended time, preferential seating, and note-taking assistance certainly help. But also consider enrichment as an accommodation – for a bored gifted student who’s acting out, an accommodation might be compaction of regular work and substitution of a more advanced project. Likewise, allow alternatives to demonstrate knowledge (oral reports, building a model) if a disability hinders the typical format (like a written test). Always involve the student in discussing what accommodations help them most; self-knowledge is empowering for 2e youth.
• Foster Peer Understanding: Educators should facilitate an inclusive mindset among students. Activities that celebrate differences or class meetings discussing how everyone learns uniquely can build peer support. In group work, help classmates appreciate a 2e student’s contributions. To combat bullying or teasing proactively by promoting empathy and by swiftly addressing any derogatory remarks about needing “extra help” or being a “nerd.” A respectful class culture benefits all, especially those who feel different.

For Policymakers and District Leaders:

• Adopt 2e Identification Policies: State and district policies should explicitly address twice-exceptional learners. This includes guidelines for dual identification, such as not disqualifying a student from gifted identification due to a disability and vice versa. Set up procedures where if a student is identified in one area (gifted or disabled), they are automatically screened for the other. Colorado’s definition of 2e in state law is a good model.
• Allocate Funding for 2e Programs: Provide funding or grants for pilot 2e programs, professional development, or hiring specialists. The federal Jacob Javits Gifted Education Act has historically provided some funds for underserved gifted populations (including 2e); policymakers should advocate for continued or increased Javits funding. At the state level, allocate part of special education or gifted budgets to initiatives that specifically target integrated services. Financial support could also cover scholarships for teachers to get advanced training in gifted special education or to become certified in both areas.
• Encourage Data Tracking: Require districts to track and report data on 2e students – how many are identified, in what categories, their outcomes (graduation, achievement, discipline). Data can illuminate gaps (e.g., a district might discover it has zero identified 2e students, indicating under-identification, or that its 2e students have higher suspension rates, indicating unmet needs). With data, leaders can set goals like increasing 2e identification by a certain percent, or ensuring all 2e students have access to at least one advanced course.
• Strengthen Legal Enforcement: Policymakers and enforcement agencies should ensure schools comply with the legal protections. State Departments of Education can issue memos echoing federal guidance – for instance, reminding districts that “giftedness does not negate child find obligations” under IDEA. They can also integrate scenarios involving 2e students into monitoring visits or audits. When investigating complaints, OCR and state agencies should consider whether a school recognized the student’s dual needs. Strong enforcement creates a precedent that denying services due to the presence of giftedness (or vice versa) is not acceptable.
• Facilitate Collaboration Between Gifted and Special Ed Departments: Often, gifted education and special education operate in separate silos. At the state and district level, create joint task forces or shared trainings to bridge this gap. For example, a District 2e Committee might include the Director of Special Education, the Gifted Coordinator, school psychologists, and parents, working together to review policies and cases. This collaboration can produce unified protocols—so a family isn’t ping-ponged between departments and the student benefits from a cohesive approach.
• Public Awareness and Parent Support: Finally, invest in parent and community awareness. Many parents, like teachers, might not know about twice-exceptionality. School districts can host information nights on 2e, create parent support groups, or share resource lists (such as the Twice Exceptional Children’s Advocacy (TECA) network and the Davidson Institute guides). When parents are informed, they become partners in advocacy rather than adversaries. Policymakers can support this by mandating that parent handbooks or notices include information on gifted students with disabilities and the right to evaluations.

By implementing these recommendations, schools can make significant progress toward equitable, effective education for twice-exceptional students. Ultimately, recognizing and supporting 2e learners isn’t just about helping a niche group – it’s about embracing the full diversity of student potential. As one educator noted, “When we create school communities that accommodate 2e students, we help them become the best versions of themselves. And that’s truly a gift that will keep on giving.”

Conclusion
Twice-exceptional children have incredible promise and unique needs. They challenge the one-size-fits-all approach of education, urging us to be more flexible, creative, and compassionate. U.S. schools have often struggled to serve 2e students, but with growing awareness, evidence-based strategies, and legal mandates, the path forward is clearer than ever. By early identification, strength-based support, legal adherence, inclusive practices, and learning from successful programs, we can ensure that 2e students are no longer overlooked. Instead, they can fully access appropriate services and accommodations that allow their talents to flourish and their difficulties to be addressed. As educators and policymakers commit to understanding and championing twice-exceptional learners, we move closer to a truly inclusive education system—one where every child, in all their complexity, can thrive.

Sources:

• Davidson Institute – Twice Exceptional: Definition, Characteristics & Identification
• Davidson Institute – Strategies for Supporting Twice-Exceptional Students
• Edutopia – How to Support Twice-Exceptional Students
• Digital Promise – Twice Exceptional: History & Barriers
• Reel 2e – Twice Exceptional: History & Barriers
• Wrightslaw – Twice Exceptional Children: Gifted Students with Disabilities (Twice Exceptional Children: Gifted Students with Disabilities - Wrightslaw)
• U.S. Dept. of Ed. Guidance (via Davidson Institute blog)
• Edge Magazine – A School for Little Man (Calais School description)
• Montgomery County Public Schools (MD) – Wings Mentor Program

You wake up to the sound of a notification—another email, another demand. Before your feet even touch the floor, you’re already calculating. Did I respond to that request? Did I handle that thing for work? Did I confirm the plans for my friend’s event this weekend? You scan through your mental list, a running tally of everything you’re doing for everyone else. It’s an exhausting game of emotional calculus, where you factor in everyone else’s wants, needs, and expectations.

And yet… when was the last time you put yourself in your own equation?

It’s easy to believe that if we just do enough, people will finally see us—really see us. Maybe if we work a little harder, go the extra mile, or anticipate their needs before they even have them, we’ll earn the love, validation, and appreciation we crave. We tell ourselves it’s just being a good partner, employee, mother, friend. But beneath it, there’s a quiet, desperate hope: If I do this, maybe they’ll finally acknowledge my worth. Maybe I’ll feel like I matter.

The Trap of Emotional Outsourcing

For high-achieving, neurodivergent women, this pattern is second nature. We’ve spent a lifetime pushing through exhaustion, overriding our own needs, and convincing ourselves that asking for help is selfish. We learned early on that “good girls” don’t take up space. They don’t need much. They just try harder. And so we do.

We over-function at work, taking on extra tasks even though our plate is already overflowing. We stretch ourselves thin at home, trying to be the mom who does it all—laundry folded, kids entertained, kitchen spotless. We make space for other people’s emotions, nodding and reassuring and holding their burdens, even as our own pile higher.

But here’s the painful truth: If you are constantly factoring someone into your decisions while they never factor you into theirs, you are misaligned.

You think about their feelings, how your choices will impact them, how they might react—but do they do the same for you? Are they adjusting their life to accommodate you, the way you do for them?

If not, you’re playing a one-sided game. You are running a race where no one else is even on the track.

Signs You’re Outsourcing Your Self-Esteem

Maybe you don’t realize how much of your self-worth you’ve handed over to other people. But if your inner monologue sounds something like this:

• If my boss would just acknowledge my work, I’d feel more confident.
• If my spouse would stop drinking, I’d finally feel at peace.
• If my child would just listen, I’d feel like a good mom.

Then you’ve unknowingly outsourced your happiness, your sense of worth, and your emotional well-being. It’s like expecting a vending machine to give you a gourmet meal—you keep inserting your time, energy, and hope, only to get back crumbs and disappointment.

Because the hard truth is: No one else is responsible for making you feel whole.

Your boss, your partner, your mother, your friends—none of them were meant to be the guardians of your self-esteem. They have their own lives, their own wounds, their own limitations. And when you place your worth in their hands, you’re setting yourself up for heartbreak.

Rebuilding Your Relationship With Yourself

So how do you stop? How do you reclaim yourself when you’ve spent years—decades—defining your worth through other people’s eyes?

You start by turning inward.

Instead of waiting for someone else to reflect your value back at you, you begin the work of seeing yourself. It won’t feel natural at first. It might even feel ridiculous. But re-parenting your inner child—the part of you that never got the validation she needed—isn’t a one-and-done task. It’s a practice.

Here’s where you begin:

1. Take inventory. What actually brings you joy? Not what makes other people happy, not what wins you praise—what fills you up? Write it down. Look at it. Remind yourself that you matter.
2. Set boundaries, even if they’re uncomfortable. Saying “no” to things that drain you is saying “yes” to yourself. If you are the default go-to for everything, it’s time to ask why.
3. Rebuild your attachment with yourself. If you’ve spent years seeking external validation, you might not even trust your own judgment. That’s okay. Start small. Make a promise to yourself—and keep it. Even if it’s as simple as drinking water when you’re thirsty instead of ignoring your needs.
4. Give yourself the validation you seek from others. Before you chase someone’s approval, pause and ask yourself: What am I hoping they’ll say? Then, say it to yourself. You don’t need permission to feel worthy.

You Are Not a Group Project

You don’t need to keep auditioning for love. You don’t need to work overtime for scraps of validation. Your well-being is not a team effort—it belongs to you.

So step back from the mental gymnastics of trying to be “enough” for others. Sit with yourself. Breathe. And remember: You were already enough before anyone else had an opinion.

Dear fellow neurodivergent parent,

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your child’s stimming or wondered about your own habits and mental health—like tapping, pacing, or humming—this is for you. Stimming isn’t something to fear or fix. It’s as normal for neurodivergent individuals as breathing, and embracing it can help us thrive as parents, partners, and individuals.

Let’s explore what stimming is, why it’s so important, and how we can reduce the shame and stigma around it—for ourselves and our kids.

What Is Stimming?

Stimming, short for “self-stimulatory behavior,” refers to repetitive actions that help regulate emotions or sensory experiences. For neurodivergent individuals, stimming is a natural and meaningful way to:

• Find calm during overwhelming moments.

• Process sensory input in a world that can feel too loud or chaotic.

• Express emotions when words aren’t enough.

Some common examples of stimming include:

• Hand-flapping or finger-tapping

• Rocking back and forth

• Twirling hair or spinning objects

• Repeating words or phrases (echolalia)

• Playing with sensory toys like fidgets

Why Do Neurodivergent Individuals Stim?

Stimming helps the brain regulate itself, much like taking deep breaths when stressed. For neurodivergent individuals, it can serve a variety of purposes:

1. Regulating Sensory Input

The neurodivergent brain processes sensory input differently. Stimming helps block out overwhelming sensations or provides the stimulation needed to stay focused.

2. Managing Emotions

Big feelings—whether they’re joy, anxiety, or frustration—can feel even bigger for neurodivergent people. Stimming helps release and balance these emotions.

3. Communicating Needs

For individuals who are nonverbal or struggle with emotional expression, stimming can be a way to communicate: I’m excited, I’m stressed, or I need space.

How Does Stimming Impact Mental Health?

When embraced, stimming has many positive effects on mental health. However, societal misunderstanding and stigma can create challenges.

The Positives

• Stress Relief: Stimming acts as a natural stress reliever, like a built-in coping mechanism.

• Focus and Grounding: It helps redirect attention and provides comfort in high-pressure situations.

• Self-Expression: Stimming can be joyful and empowering, offering a way to feel connected to your body and emotions.

The Challenges

The real problem isn’t stimming—it’s how the world reacts to it. Misunderstanding, judgment, and pressure to “stop” stimming can lead to:

• Shame and Anxiety: Feeling judged for stimming can cause self-doubt and emotional distress.

• Masking Behavior: Suppressing stimming to fit in can result in burnout, sensory overload, and emotional dysregulation.

How to Reduce Shame Around Stimming

Here’s the good news: you have the power to create a world where stimming is accepted and celebrated—starting in your own home.

1. Normalize Stimming

Talk about stimming as a natural and healthy behavior. Explain to your kids (and remind yourself!) that it’s their body’s way of taking care of them.

2. Create Safe Stimming Spaces

Make sure your home, school, or work environment allows for stimming without judgment. This might mean giving your child access to sensory tools or advocating for understanding with teachers and caregivers.

3. Reframe Stimming as a Superpower

Instead of seeing stimming as a distraction or “quirk,” celebrate it as a strength. It’s a tool that helps neurodivergent individuals process the world in their own unique way.

4. Use Tools and Resources

Fidget toys, weighted blankets, and other sensory-friendly items can make stimming more accessible and enjoyable.

My Journey as a Neurodivergent Mom

I’ll be honest—embracing stimming hasn’t always been easy. Growing up, I was told to “stop fidgeting” or “sit still,” and I carried that shame for years. But as I learned more about my neurodivergent brain, I realized stimming wasn’t something to hide—it was a way to thrive.

Now, as a mom, I let my kids see me stim. When I tap my fingers during a tough moment or hum to calm myself, I’m showing them it’s okay to regulate their emotions in their own way. In turn, they’ve felt freer to flap, spin, and stim without fear of judgment.

Additional Resources for Parents

If you’d like to learn more about stimming and how to support neurodivergent individuals, here are some helpful tools:

• Books:

• Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Barry M. Prizant

• NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman

• Online Communities:

• Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN)

• ADDitude Magazine

• Sensory Tools:

• Fidget spinners, chewable jewelry, and noise-canceling headphones are widely available online and in stores.

Stimming Is a Superpower, Not a Problem

Here’s the truth: stimming is as normal as breathing. It’s not something we need to fix or hide—it’s a vital part of how neurodivergent individuals thrive.

When we embrace stimming as a strength, we create a world where neurodivergent people feel safe, accepted, and celebrated—for exactly who they are.

With love and understanding,

Jamie

When I first began my EMDR journey, I didn’t realize how much it would open the door to meeting and healing the many parts of myself. Through Internal Family Systems (IFS) work, I learned to connect with these inner parts—the protector, the exile, the wounded child—and to understand their roles in my life. It was humbling and emotional, but also deeply empowering.

Among all these parts, my inner child stood out. She carried so much of the vulnerability and pain I had long buried. She also held the joy, curiosity, and hope I longed to rediscover. Learning to reparent her—to be the caregiver, protector, and nurturer she always needed—became one of the most profound aspects of my healing.

Yet, it was Yoga Nidra that truly reinforced and deepened this process. It offered me a way to nurture her in the quietest and most loving of ways.

The Gentle Intersection of IFS and Yoga Nidra

IFS taught me to approach my inner parts with curiosity and compassion. Yoga Nidra became the safe container for these conversations. During one particular practice, as the guide invited me to visualize my inner child, I found her waiting in a warm, inviting space. She wasn’t angry or scared—she was just waiting for me, with quiet trust.

Using the tools I had learned in EMDR and IFS, I approached her with love and reassurance. In that moment, I could feel the integration happening. The protective parts of me stepped aside, letting me connect with her without fear. The exile within me softened, allowing the pain she carried to be acknowledged without shame.

Reparenting Through Presence

In this Yoga Nidra session, I spoke to my inner child with the words I wished I had heard when I was younger:

“I see you, my love. You are safe now. You don’t have to carry the weight of guilt or shame anymore. I am here to protect you.”

Each word felt like a thread, weaving together a stronger bond between us. And as I embraced her—both in my mind and in my heart—I could feel her trust in me grow. It was a deeply moving moment, one that solidified the reparenting I’d been working on for months in therapy.

The Role of Yoga Nidra in Healing

Yoga Nidra makes such a powerful companion to IFS and EMDR. This is because of its ability to create a calm, nonjudgmental space where healing can unfold naturally. In these sessions, I can connect with my inner child in a way that feels intuitive and safe. The guided relaxation quiets the noise of the outside world, making space for the soft whispers of my soul.

Yoga Nidra also reinforces the new, healthier patterns I’m building through reparenting. By consistently returning to this practice, I’m teaching my inner child—and myself—that safety, love, and care are available to us now.

An Invitation to Your Journey

If you’re exploring Internal Family Systems, EMDR, or any other therapeutic modality, I encourage you to try Yoga Nidra as a way to deepen your healing. Imagine it as a bridge that connects your inner work to the present moment, allowing you to embody the safety and love you’re cultivating within.

Healing isn’t linear, and it isn’t always easy. But in these moments of connection—when you sit with your inner child, hold her hand, and promise her the care she deserves—you take one more step toward wholeness. And that, I’ve learned, is a gift worth giving yourself.

If you’re anything like me—or the high-achieving women I work with—you’ve probably set a resolution for this year that feels deeply personal:

• Heal from the mental load that’s keeping you stuck.

• Stop second-guessing yourself at work and at home.

• Finally feel good enough.

But with so many demands pulling you in every direction—work deadlines, parenting challenges, and the constant pressure to be everything for everyone—it’s easy to feel like your resolution is already slipping through your fingers.

What if I told you there’s a way to experience the kind of shift you’re longing for—quickly and deeply? No dragging it out over months of therapy. No “just one more thing” on your to-do list. Just you, a focused weekend, and real, lasting breakthroughs.

This is the power of EMDR intensives.

Why EMDR Works for Women Like You

As a high-achieving woman, you’ve likely spent years powering through tough moments, holding it all together, and pushing down the pain of never quite feeling “enough.” EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a proven approach to help you process unresolved trauma, perfectionism, and negative beliefs that keep you stuck in cycles of anxiety, burnout, or self-doubt.

And while traditional therapy can feel like a slow drip of relief, EMDR intensives offer a focused, accelerated path to healing—perfect for women who need results without adding to their already-full schedules.

How EMDR Intensives Work for Busy, High-Achieving Women

1. Condensed Transformation in a Fraction of the Time:

Weekly therapy can feel like a long, winding road that competes with everything else in your life. EMDR intensives condense months of therapy into one weekend of focused attention, allowing you to clear out emotional clutter and make space for the things that really matter.

2. Immediate Results You Can Feel:

Whether it’s shedding the weight of impostor syndrome, releasing the fear of letting someone down, or breaking free from overwhelm, you’ll leave the weekend feeling lighter, more grounded, and ready to take on your life with clarity and confidence.

3. Designed for High Achieving Women Who Do It All:

You’re not here for vague advice or one-size-fits-all solutions. EMDR intensives are tailored specifically to your needs—your struggles, your goals, your vision for who you want to be.

4. A Fresh Start That Lasts All Year:

Instead of spinning your wheels or waiting for change to come, you’ll build momentum that carries you through the year with purpose and strength. The tools you gain during your intensive will help you keep moving forward—long after the weekend ends.

This Is Your Year to Finally Feel Free

If you’ve spent years holding onto patterns that no longer serve you—perfectionism, people-pleasing, constantly running on empty—this is your chance to let it go. In just one weekend, you can take a major step toward healing the wounds that hold you back and reconnecting with the woman you know you’re meant to be.

This isn’t about adding one more thing to your plate. It’s about giving yourself the permission to finally let go of what’s keeping you stuck.

You’ve spent so much time doing it all for everyone else.

Are you ready to check off your most important resolution and step into 2025 with clarity, confidence, and freedom? Let’s talk about how an EMDR intensive can help you start this year on your terms.

As the New Year approaches, many families feel the pressure to establish elaborate traditions that mirror idealized images seen in media. However, the essence of family traditions lies not in their complexity but in the meaning and connection they foster among family members.

The Importance of Family Traditions

Family traditions and routines serve as powerful organizers of family life, offering stability during times of stress and transition. Research has shown that these practices are associated with marital satisfaction, adolescents’ sense of personal identity, children’s health, academic achievement, and stronger family relationships.

Creating Meaningful Traditions

2. Keep It Simple: Traditions don’t have to be elaborate to be meaningful. Simple activities like a weekly family game night or a New Year’s Day nature walk can become cherished rituals that strengthen family bonds.

3. Involve Everyone: Encourage each family member to contribute ideas for new traditions. This inclusion fosters a sense of ownership and ensures the traditions are meaningful to all.

4. Be Flexible: Allow traditions to evolve as your family grows and changes. Flexibility ensures that traditions remain relevant and enjoyable rather than becoming sources of stress.

Benefits of Family Traditions

Engaging in family traditions provides a predictable structure that guides behavior and creates an emotional environment that supports development. Consistent daily routines have been associated with children’s well-being, including improved behavior and social skills.

Conclusion

As you welcome the New Year, focus on creating or continuing family traditions that reflect your unique family dynamics and values. Remember, the goal is to foster connection and joy, not to meet external expectations. Embrace the simplicity and authenticity of your family’s traditions, and let them be a source of comfort and unity in the year ahead.

As a neurodivergent mom navigating the ups and downs of parenting, I’ve personally experienced how life-changing Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can be. EMDR therapy gave me the tools to process my past, calm my nervous system, and show up as the mindful parent I’ve always wanted to be. For neurodivergent moms and other individuals like me, who often feel overstimulated and overwhelmed, EMDR offers a path to healing that feels safe, supportive, and empowering.

What Is EMDR?

EMDR is a therapy designed to help people process and release distressing memories. It uses guided movements, like following a therapist’s fingers, or other forms of bilateral stimulation to help the brain “reorganize” how it stores past experiences. It’s been widely studied for trauma, but recent research is shining a light on its potential benefits for neurodivergent individuals, including those with ADHD and autism.

Benefits of EMDR for Neurodivergent Individuals

1. Emotional Regulation
   For neurodivergent moms, processing emotions can sometimes feel like navigating a storm. EMDR helps calm those emotional waves by addressing the root of the distress. I found it transformative in helping me respond rather than react during challenging parenting moments.
2. Reduction in Anxiety and Stress
   EMDR can help untangle the web of anxiety that many neurodivergent people face daily. By reprocessing triggering memories, EMDR can reduce the weight of worry and create space for a greater sense of peace.
3. Improved Focus and Clarity
   For those with ADHD, unresolved stress or trauma can make it harder to focus. EMDR helps clear mental clutter, allowing individuals to approach tasks with a clearer mind.
4. Boosted Confidence and Self-Worth
   Negative self-talk can be a constant companion for neurodivergent individuals. EMDR replaces those intrusive thoughts with healthier, affirming beliefs. Personally, it’s helped me shift from “I’m not good enough” to “I am more than enough.”
5. Stronger Relationships
   As a mom, I’ve seen firsthand how EMDR has made me more present and connected with my kids. Many neurodivergent individuals also find it helps reduce social anxiety, making it easier to connect with others.

How EMDR Can Be Adapted for Neurodivergent Individuals

The neurodivergent brain is beautifully unique, and EMDR works best when tailored to each person’s needs. Here are some ways therapists can adapt EMDR for neurodivergent individuals:

• Clear and Simple Communication
  Therapists can explain EMDR techniques in plain language and use visual aids to help individuals understand the process.
• Sensory Sensitivity Awareness
  Creating a sensory-friendly environment—whether that means dimming lights or avoiding certain sounds—can make the experience more comfortable.

• Building Trust
  A strong therapeutic relationship is key. This means therapists need to meet clients where they are and move at a pace that feels right.

Potential Challenges and How to Address Them

While EMDR is incredibly effective, neurodivergent individuals might face unique challenges:

• Communication Differences
  Some neurodivergent individuals may struggle to articulate their feelings or experiences. A therapist skilled in alternative communication methods can bridge this gap.
• Sensory Overload
  The bilateral stimulation used in EMDR can sometimes feel overwhelming. Therapists can modify techniques to suit sensory preferences, such as using gentle tapping instead of eye movements.

By being aware of these potential challenges, EMDR therapists can ensure that neurodivergent individuals feel supported and understood throughout their healing journey.

The Personal Impact of EMDR for Neurodivergent Moms

As a neurodivergent mom, my EMDR sessions felt like peeling back layers of doubt, fear, and overwhelm to uncover the confident, mindful parent within. It’s helped me stay present during meltdowns, embrace imperfection, and give my kids the unconditional love they deserve.

If you’re a neurodivergent individual considering EMDR, know that it’s more than a therapy—it’s a gift to yourself and those you love.

As a mom, your schedule is a nonstop whirlwind of school pickups, work deadlines, meal prep, and everything in between. It's no wonder the idea of taking time for therapy or self-care feels impossible. You’re not alone in thinking, “How can I make time for me when everyone else depends on me?”

The truth is, making time for your own healing isn’t just important—it’s essential. When you prioritize your well-being, you’re better equipped to care for your family, manage stress, and enjoy your life. Let’s explore realistic ways to carve out time for therapy, healing, and self-care, even with the busiest of schedules, and why EMDR intensives might be the perfect solution for moms on the go.

Why Healing Matters for Moms

Burnout and unresolved stress don’t just affect you—they ripple out to your family, work, and relationships. Healing isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity for:

• Being Present: When you’re calm and regulated, you can fully engage with your kids and loved ones.
• Breaking Cycles: Addressing old patterns helps ensure you don’t pass unresolved trauma to the next generation.
• Reclaiming Joy: Healing allows you to reconnect with who you are beyond your roles as mom, partner, or professional.

Investing in yourself benefits everyone around you—but how can you fit it into an already packed schedule?

5 Tips for Making Time for Healing

1. Shift Your Mindset: You Deserve This

The first step is recognizing that your healing is a priority, not a luxury. Moms often feel guilty for taking time for themselves, but think of it this way: when you’re well, your family thrives.

• Reframe Self-Care: See therapy and self-care as non-negotiable, like feeding your kids or paying bills.
• Start Small: Even 30 minutes a week to focus on yourself can make a difference.

2. Audit Your Schedule

A packed schedule often includes obligations that aren’t as critical as they feel. Take a close look at where your time is going:

• Identify Time-Wasters: Are you spending too much time scrolling social media or saying yes to activities out of guilt?
• Delegate: Let go of tasks that others can handle—whether it’s meal delivery, hiring a babysitter, or asking your partner to take over bedtime routines.
• Create Pockets of Time: Combine self-care with downtime. For example, listen to a mindfulness app while waiting in the carpool line.

3. Build a Village

Mom's often carry an invisible mental load, which feels like more tasks on a busy schedule already, but you don’t have to do it all alone.

• Ask for Help: Reach out to family, friends, or neighbors for support. People are often happy to pitch in—they just need to be asked.
• Share Responsibilities: If you have a partner, divide parenting and household duties to free up time for yourself.
• Join a Community: Find groups or networks of moms who can offer encouragement and share resources.

4. Schedule Self-Care Like an Appointment

When something is on your calendar, it’s more likely to happen. Treat therapy and self-care like any other commitment.

• Set Regular Time Blocks: Carve out specific times each week for your mental health. Even if it’s only 15 minutes a day, consistency matters. Even with a mom's busy schedule self care time blocks can work!
• Plan Ahead: Let your family know when you’ll be unavailable and arrange coverage in advance.

5. Consider EMDR Intensives for Faster Results

One of the biggest barriers to healing for busy moms is the time commitment of traditional therapy, which often involves weekly sessions over months or even years. This is where EMDR intensives shine.

What is an EMDR Intensive?
An EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) intensive condenses weeks of therapy into 1–3 full or half-day sessions. It’s a highly focused format designed to help you make significant progress in a short amount of time.

Why Moms Love Intensives:

• Time-Efficient: Instead of committing to months of therapy, you can address core issues in just a few days.
• Flexible Scheduling: Intensives can often be planned around your availability, such as during a long weekend or when you have childcare.
• Immediate Relief: Many moms notice a tangible difference in their emotional well-being after just one intensive.

What Happens During an EMDR Intensive?

An EMDR intensive is structured to maximize healing while ensuring you feel supported and safe, and fitting into any mom's schedule. Here’s what you can expect:

1. Preparation: You’ll learn grounding techniques and set goals for the intensive.
2. Processing: The core part of the session involves reprocessing painful memories or triggers using bilateral stimulation (e.g., guided eye movements).
3. Closure: Each session ends with grounding exercises to leave you feeling calm and empowered.

The best part? You’ll walk away with tools and strategies to continue your healing journey long after the session ends.

How to Get Started

Imagine how different life could feel if you:

Making time for your own healing might feel impossible at first, but with small shifts in your mindset and schedule, it can become a reality. And if you’re ready for a solution that fits your busy life, an EMDR intensive could be the perfect fit.

• Stopped reacting to triggers with frustration or yelling.
• Had more patience, calm, and joy in your daily life.
• Finally felt like you again, not just a mom juggling a million things.

Healing is possible, and it doesn’t have to take forever.

Ready to make time for YOU?
Click here to schedule your free consultation and learn how an EMDR intensive can help you reclaim your balance and thrive as the amazing mom you already are.

Because you deserve to feel whole, happy, and present—for your family and for yourself.

Parenting is no small feat. For many moms, the daily juggling act of work, family, and life’s endless demands can bring up feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, or even triggers from their own past. If you’ve heard about EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) as a therapeutic option, you might be curious—but also have questions about how it works and whether it’s right for you.

Let’s break down some of the most common questions moms ask about EMDR and provide clear answers to help you decide if it could be the right step toward healing.

1. What is EMDR, and how does it work?

EMDR is an evidence-based therapy designed to help individuals process and heal from trauma, stress, and negative experiences. Instead of traditional talk therapy, EMDR uses bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements, tapping, or audio tones) to help your brain reprocess distressing memories or triggers.

Here’s how it works:

• When something upsetting happens, your brain might store it in a way that feels "stuck," leaving you feeling triggered even years later.
• EMDR helps your brain reprocess these experiences so they no longer cause intense emotional reactions.
• The result? You feel calmer, less reactive, and more in control.

2. Is EMDR just for trauma survivors?

While EMDR was initially developed for people with PTSD, it’s effective for a wide range of issues, including:

• Anxiety and overwhelm.
• Negative self-beliefs (e.g., "I’m not a good mom").
• Chronic stress or burnout.
• Triggers that stem from childhood experiences, such as being yelled at or feeling unsupported.

For moms, EMDR can address not only past trauma but also how those experiences show up in your parenting today—like reacting strongly when your child doesn’t listen or struggling with perfectionism.

3. What does an EMDR session look like?

Each session is structured to help you feel safe and supported as you work through challenging emotions. Here’s a general outline:

Closure: Each session ends with grounding exercises to ensure you leave feeling stable and calm.

History-taking: Your therapist will gather information about your life, triggers, and what you want to work on.

Preparation: You’ll learn calming techniques and coping strategies to use during and outside of therapy.

Reprocessing: During the core part of the session, you’ll focus on a specific memory or feeling while following the therapist’s bilateral stimulation (e.g., moving your eyes back and forth). This helps your brain reprocess the experience in a way that reduces its emotional charge.

4. How long does EMDR take?

This depends on your goals and the complexity of what you’re addressing. While traditional therapy might involve weekly sessions over months, EMDR can often produce results more quickly, especially with intensive formats.

For busy moms, EMDR intensives—where you work with a therapist for 1–3 full or half days—are a game-changer. They allow you to make significant progress in a short amount of time, which is ideal for those who can’t commit to long-term therapy.

5. Is EMDR safe for moms with young children?

Absolutely! EMDR is non-invasive and designed to be as gentle as possible. If your triggers or stress are related to parenting (like yelling or feelings of inadequacy), addressing these through EMDR can actually help you feel more present and calm with your children.

Plus, the preparation phase of EMDR often includes learning techniques to regulate your nervous system—skills that can be applied during those hectic moments of motherhood.

6. What if I’m afraid to revisit painful memories?

This is a common concern, and it’s valid. The thought of bringing up old wounds can feel intimidating, especially for moms who are already stretched thin emotionally.

The good news is that EMDR doesn’t require you to talk about the details of your trauma if you’re not ready. The focus is on how your brain stores the memory, not the specifics of the event. Your therapist will guide the process at your pace, ensuring you feel supported and safe.

7. How does EMDR help with mom burnout?

Burnout often stems from juggling too much while carrying unresolved stress or trauma. EMDR helps moms by:

• Releasing negative beliefs like "I have to do it all" or "I’m not enough."
• Calming the nervous system so you feel less reactive and more present.
• Addressing deep-rooted triggers that contribute to yelling, anxiety, or feelings of overwhelm.

Many moms report feeling lighter, more patient, and more focused after EMDR therapy.

8. Are EMDR intensives covered by insurance?

EMDR intensives are not covered by insurance, as they’re considered outside the scope of traditional therapy. We know therapy is an investment in your future. That’s why we offer:

• Flexible payment plans & 0% APR financing through CareCredit.
• Payment options like HSA/FSA and credit cards.
  Your healing is worth it.

9. What makes EMDR intensives different from regular sessions?

Traditional therapy sessions last around 50 minutes, which can sometimes feel too short to dive deeply into your concerns. EMDR intensives offer extended, focused time to work through your challenges without interruption.

For busy moms, this format is ideal because:

• You can make significant progress in a condensed timeframe.
• It eliminates the need for weekly sessions, which can be hard to schedule.
• You leave with noticeable relief and actionable tools to continue your healing journey.

10. How do I know if EMDR is right for me?

EMDR could be a great fit if:

You’re feeling stuck in patterns of stress, burnout, or reactivity.

Traditional talk therapy hasn’t provided the relief you’re looking for.

You want to heal deeply but don’t have the time for long-term therapy.

A consultation with an EMDR-trained therapist can help you determine whether it’s the right option for your unique situation.

Ready to Start Your EMDR Journey?

Motherhood is hard enough without carrying the weight of unresolved stress, burnout, or trauma. EMDR offers a pathway to healing that’s tailored for moms who need relief—quickly and effectively.

If you’re ready to stop yelling, calm your mind, and feel like yourself again, an EMDR intensive could be the perfect solution. In just 1–3 days, you can make life-changing progress and create space for the joy, patience, and confidence you deserve.

and take the first step toward healing for you—and your family.

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a caretaker—to always be the person others turn to, the one who holds everything together. I see you. I know how deeply you care. You give and give, often without a second thought, because that’s just who you are. And it’s beautiful. But it’s also exhausting, isn’t it?

Caretakers Are still Human

The truth is, if we’re always pouring out and never refilling our own cups, something’s gotta give. We end up drained, resentful, or feeling like there’s nothing left for ourselves. I’ve been there. It’s a hard place to be. We tell ourselves it’s noble, that we’re being selfless, but at what cost? If we’re constantly running on empty, who’s taking care of us? Who is our caretaker??

I want to tell you this: it’s okay to need care too. It’s okay to take a step back and say, “I need a moment.” We’ve been taught that taking care of ourselves is selfish. But let me flip that on its head: you can’t pour from an empty cup. When you’re running on fumes, you can’t show up for the people you love in the way you want to.

I deeply respect every person in the helping professions, every mom, every friend who gives so much of themselves. But I also want to say: you deserve to be cared for. You deserve rest. You deserve to be more than the person who fixes everyone else’s problems.

The Difference Between Caring and Taking Care Of

Here’s where it gets tricky. There’s a huge difference between caring about someone and taking care of everything for them. When we care, we hold space. We listen. We show up. But when we take on the role of caretaker for every need, every crisis, every hurt—well, that’s a heavy load to bear. It’s one thing to support someone. It’s another thing to carry their entire burden.

I know what you might be thinking: “But if I don’t take care of it, who will?” It feels impossible to let go. But here’s the thing—sometimes, our drive to take on everything isn’t just about being kind or selfless. Sometimes, it’s rooted in our own fear.

Maybe we believe that if we don’t fix everything, we won’t be valued or loved. We might feel afraid that stepping back makes us less worthy. Maybe we’ve spent so long believing our worth is tied to how much we do that the thought of doing less feels like failing.

But let’s get real for a second: it’s not failing. It’s freeing. When we step back, we give others the chance to rise, to find their own strength. And we give ourselves the space to breathe.

Boundaries Are Hard—But Necessary

I’m not saying it’s easy. Setting boundaries can feel like ripping off a Band-Aid, especially when you’re used to saying yes, to fixing, to overextending. But boundaries aren’t walls; they’re bridges. They let us connect in healthy ways, without losing ourselves in the process. When we say, “I can’t take this on right now,” we’re not abandoning anyone. We’re just making room to be present without being depleted.

I know it’s scary. You worry people will think you’re selfish or that they’ll walk away. But the people who truly value you will understand. They’ll respect your need to take care of yourself. And if they don’t? Well, maybe that’s a sign they were relying too heavily on you anyway.

Caring Doesn’t Mean Carrying Everything

You can be a caretaker and love deeply without becoming a martyr. You can be there for the people you care about without losing yourself. Healthy caring means holding space, not absorbing every bit of pain and responsibility. It means showing up with empathy but knowing when to step back. I know how hard that is—it feels like pulling away from a role you’ve known your whole life. But it’s necessary.

When we let go of the need to “take care of” everything, we also let go of the belief that we’re only worthy if we’re giving everything. We can just be. We can love and support without sacrificing our entire selves.

Taking Care of Yourself Is a Radical Act of Love

Here’s the truth: you deserve care too. You deserve to rest, to be supported, to be seen for more than what you can do for others. Being the caretaker of yourself isn’t just important; it’s radical. It sends a powerful message—to yourself and everyone around you—that your needs matter too.

When you set boundaries, when you prioritize your own well-being, you’re not just helping yourself—you’re showing others that it’s okay to do the same. You’re breaking cycles of over-giving and burnout. You’re creating space for healthier, more balanced relationships. And that’s powerful.

So, take a deep breath. Give yourself permission to let go of what’s not yours to carry. It’s okay to care deeply without taking on the weight of everyone else’s world. It’s okay to choose yourself. You’re worthy of care, just as you are. And when you show up for yourself, you’ll have so much more to give—to the people you love, to your passions, to your life. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You just have to be you. And that is more than enough.

Uncovering The Roots That Keep You Stuck

If you find yourself struggling to break free from the role of rescuer or feel immense guilt every time you say no, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Intensive EMDR sessions can help you uncover the roots of these patterns, heal the wounds that keep you stuck, and build the resilience to set boundaries with compassion and confidence. If you’re ready to step out of the cycle and reclaim your energy, reach out—I’m here to walk that journey with you.