Relaxation is defined as the state of being free from tension and anxiety. Relaxation has many health benefits, both mental and physical. Some examples include reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression, lowering heart rate and blood pressure, improving concentration and mood, reducing fatigue, reducing anger and frustration, and boosting confidence to handle problems. So, what are some simple things you can do to help feel more relaxed? Here are some ideas!
1. Breathe
We’re always breathing, but sometimes when we’re stressed or overwhelmed our breathing rate is affected. You may find yourself holding your breath, taking shallow breaths, or even hyperventilating. When this happens, you’re most likely adding to the stress response in your body, or in other words, making things worse.
Breathing exercises are one of the easiest relaxation strategies and there are many different ways to do them, but here’s one example. Sit or lay in a quiet, comfortable space. Breathe in to a slow count of three, hold for a slow count of three, and then exhale to the same slow count of three. Repeat this five times, or as long as you need to feel relaxed.
2. Meditate
During meditation, the goal is to focus your attention and eliminate any jumbled thoughts that may be causing you stress. Meditation is a great way to bring yourself to a deep state of relaxation. And thanks to the internet, tips and resources for meditating are always readily available at your fingertips. Check out some guided meditations on YouTube, or research some apps like “Calm” and “Insight Timer.” There’s also a series on Netflix called “Headspace” where you can find some useful information about meditation and being mindful!
3. Write Down Your Thoughts
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with your own thoughts, it may help to get your mind off things by writing them down. If you prefer handwriting, get yourself a notebook or some scrap paper, but you can also do this on a computer or smartphone if that’s easier for you. When you’re feeling stressed, take a few minutes to write down short notes about how you’re feeling or how your day is going. And you don’t have to worry about things like grammar and spelling. Just focus on expressing yourself to help release some of that stress!
4. Get Outside
Being outside in nature has many health benefits, and helping us relax is one of them. When you’re feeling stressed, spending even a few minutes outside can help you feel better. You can go for a short walk, read a book at the beach, or simply find a comfortable place to sit outside and take in all of nature’s beauty.
5. Listen to Your Favorite Music
Music can affect our emotions in different ways, and it has been shown that just listening to music has relaxation benefits. If we listen to calming music, we can expect our mind and body to follow suit and feel more relaxed. It has also been proven that upbeat, cheerful music causes our brains to produce chemicals like dopamine and serotonin, which makes us feel happy. So if you’re feeling stressed out, put on your favorite playlist and turn it up. Go ahead, sing along! You know you want to.
6. Laugh
We’ve all heard the quote, ‘laughter is the best medicine.’ But why is that such a popular phrase? Science has shown that laughing not only decreases stress hormones, but can also increase immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies. Quite literally medicine! Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. So, if you’re not feeling so good, call up a friend who you know will make you laugh, or put on a funny video that you know will get a few giggles out of you.
7. Start Planning a Trip
Take a break and start browsing some vacation spots. We all need to take a vacation from work every once in a while, but taking a break from life is just as important! Even if it’s just a day trip somewhere local- schedule some time to disconnect from all of life’s stressors and be in the present moment. You won’t regret it!
In the chaos and rush of the modern world, do you feel stressed, tired, and disconnected? Do you experience racing thoughts, feel “on edge” to meet the demands of a deadline, or yearn for a break? If so, forest therapy is for you! Forest therapy is found to reduce the production of cortisol, a stress hormone.
Do you experience depression or anxiety?
Forest therapy can help. It is clinically supported to improve cognition and mood.
Do you struggle to concentrate or pay attention?
Forest therapy is shown to improve directed attention and boost executive functioning skills.
Do you love the outdoors, but have limitations due to mobility challenges or a significant health issue?
Yes, forest therapy is for you, too. Unlike hiking, forest therapy is a slow walk, generally in an accessible area, which makes it suitable for various populations. Forest therapy can even be done remotely, only requiring access to a window.
Do you want to improve your physical health?
Forest therapy is evidenced to lower blood pressure, improve cardiovascular health, boost immune system function, and even combat cells associated with cancer risk.
And finally… do you want to try forest therapy, but fear the possibility of injury, illness, or accident?
All forest therapy guides (or “guides”) are required to be certified in Wilderness First Aid and Infant/Child/Adult CPR, at minimum. They also have training in herbalism, thus can teach you of edible and medicinal plants.
At Long Island EMDR, we proudly have a certified forest therapy guide, Valerie Smith, LMSW, who's been trained by the world’s leading school on the topic pf Forest Therapy.
Join Valerie in experiencing simple yet powerful techniques to help you feel whole and well again, while celebrating our kinship with the earth. Mindful and bodyful practices that bring about serenity and can foster a newfound awakening for what is most significant to you. Valerie will lead you through sensory encounters which allow for care, compassion, and connection toward yourself and all other beings in this world.
What is a Forest Therapy Walk?
A forest therapy walk (hereon also referred to as forest therapy for simplicity purposes), is a platform for fostering wellness, healing, and wholeness through engagement in natural settings. Forest therapy is inspired by the Japanese practice of shinrin-yoku (“forest bathing”), but they are not synonymous concepts.
Research indicates forest bathing carries a myriad of health advantages in the immune and cardiovascular systems, as well as psychological benefits such as mood improvement. From this foundation, forest bathing seeks to move beyond the health benefits alone and to instead celebrate that humankind is in kinship with nature, not above or separate from it.
Forest therapy is a practice; a gateway to allow a relationship of reciprocity to develop and strengthen, whereby the guide and forest (or other setting) partner together to allow for both to feel complete. The guide is useful in that they can navigate the participants through a particular sequence of events that provide a foundation for the experience. However, there are no set expectations of what should or could happen – participants are given freedom to interpret the experiences as they desire.
Forest therapy is about creating relationships between humans and the more-than-human world, in which the relationship itself becomes a source of healing and joyful well-being. Besides being a deeply healing practice, Forest Therapy is also an emerging community of friends and activists who are making a global impact. As we learn to love the forests, this connection leads naturally to an ethic of tenderness and reciprocity, we become more engaged in working for their well-being.
Most importantly, such walks are focused on the heart rather than the brain, and they celebrate the significance of the kinship between humans and nature. Forest therapy walks are effective, non-prescriptive, and simple, which encourages each participant to have the experience on their own terms and to bring meaning to it all on their own accord, rather than expecting the participant to feel or think a certain way. As a result, forest therapy should never be mistaken for psychotherapy, which is about the treatment of a diagnosis and/or life issue.
Ultimately, the aim for all forest therapy guides is to serve as the “doorway” between humans and other beings, in which the relationship becomes the source of healing and serenity. And so by having a reciprocal relationship with the more-than-human world, we all benefit in increased connection and wellbeing — from the smallest mushroom to the grandest of trees.
“And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.” – John Muir
Forest Therapy is Not...
Forest therapy should not be confused with hiking. When a person hikes, they tend to have a set destination in mind. They want to ascend to the summit of the mountain, reach that hidden beach, or traverse that one crevice at the top of the mesa. Hiking also tends to be a timed event, with people competing against each other for the newest record.
Forest therapy is different because it uses the aspects of nature in a way that amplifies our senses to let us know the forest in a new way. For one, a forest therapy walk is slow and usually is restricted to a small area. A walk can last for up to 3 hours and the entire experience can be held in a few acres. Furthermore, beings are not things to be passed by on by, but rather to be recognized and explored. Beings are not only organisms, such as the birds and the plants, but also include abiotic entities such as rocks, sunshine, and weather.
Thus, it is more appropriate to think of such forest therapy walks as sensory immersions to foster mindfulness and body-fulness in a natural setting. Whereas mindfulness is about awareness of the present moment without judgment, body-fulness is for harboring that awareness through the senses and experiences within the body. The immersion is done through a sequence of invitations (activities) that participants are allowed to adapt if needed.
Finally, forest therapy should never be mistaken for psychotherapy, which is about the treatment of a diagnosis and/or life issue.
Health Benefits of Forest Therapy
As was previously stated, forest therapy is inspired by shinrin-yoku.
Shinrin-yoku is a wellness practice that came from Japan in the 1980s by the Ministry of Health to promote improved health across the urbanized, changing population. At the time, Japan was transforming into a technological leader, which the government noted was resulting in diseases related to sedentary lifestyles and chronic stress.
Over the next two decades, Japanese research has showcased the myriad health benefits of forest bathing. These include, but are not limited to:
• Lower stress
• Reduce blood pressure
• Improve metabolic and cardiovascular health
• Weight loss/weight management
• Lower blood sugar levels Improve memory and concentration
• Improve mood disorders, especially depression
• Increase pain tolerance
• Boost energy
• Improve the immune system with an increase in natural killer (NK) cells
In more recent years, research across the United States and the United Kingdom has supported the association between time spent in nature and directed attention. Directed attention is one of the primary functions of the frontal lobe in the brain, which is also in control of other executive functions like critical thinking and problem-solving. The stressors of modern living burden us with attention demands that are more exhausting versus that of mankind in the past. This is a reason why we may “space out” when trying to complete a task, feel sluggish, or struggle to concentrate. Much like a computer needs to be rebooted when it freezes, so too, do our brains.
Fortunately, through immersion in nature, the executive functions of our brains are allowed to rest and become replenished. This results in improved directed attention later. In addition, nature experiences offer other psychological benefits such as overall improvement in mood, including in people with depressive disorders.
Perhaps most fascinating of all, ongoing research from Nippon University suggests that phytoncides, the chemicals found within conifers and some other plants, may be effective in cancer prevention. When breathed in, the phytoncides fight infection while also increasing the number of NK cells, which increase anti-cancer proteins.
For more information on the health benefits of shinrin-yoku, along with links to the studies to support the research, please click here.
Want a Forest Therapy Walk?
Valerie Smith hosts forest therapy walks throughout Suffolk and Nassau. These walks are open to the public; thus, you do not need to be a client at Long Island EMDR to participate. Bring your friends and family!
Please note: All walks require prior registration, payment, and completion of paperwork. Valerie cannot accommodate “walk-ins”.
To learn more and/or to arrange a walk, contact valerie@ericam206.sg-host.com
California was the first state to legalize marijuana for medical purposes in 1996, having come a long way since marijuana was placed as a Schedule 1 drug in the Controlled Substances Act of 1970. Since then, there have been many debates surrounding the medical benefits of marijuana.
While many states have legalized marijuana for medical purposes, the FDA has only approved the use of medical marijuana for two rare forms of epilepsy, Dravet syndrome and Lennox Gastaut syndrome. With regards to mental health, some states have approved medical marijuana in the treatment of PTSD. While research into medical marijuana and its effect on PTSD is underdeveloped, clinical trials and anecdotal evidence from PTSD sufferers demonstrate the positive impact of the drug on their symptoms. This may be due to the fact that cannabis can reduce activity in the amygdala, the brains “fight or flight” center. There is also some evidence that demonstrates the plant’s cannabinoids could play a role in extinguishing traumatic memories.
Advocates for the drug claim it has therapeutic benefits for a variety of mental health conditions, including insomnia, depression, anxiety, stress, and schizophrenia. An internet search on the topic will lead you to believe that medical marijuana is a “cure all”; a natural remedy that has endless benefits. However, when you take a closer look at the information available, one thing becomes clear: there is just not enough research to draw any substantial conclusions regarding the benefit of medical marijuana for mental health.
Research on medical marijuana extremely limited in the United States. This is due to the fact that it is still not legal on a federal level. From 1968 until now, researchers have only been allowed to use cannabis from one source for research, a facility at the University of Mississippi. However, as of May of 2021, the DEA stated its plan approve more growers, which will allow for more widespread research to be conducted.
Until then, here’s what we know when it comes to marijuana as it pertains to mental health. The main psychoactive ingredient in marijuana, THC, stimulates the part of your brain that responds to pleasure. This results in production of the dopamine, a neurotransmitter that results in relaxation and euphoria. Subjective experiences and limited research indicate marijuana may have a positive effect on anxiety and insomnia. However, not everyone’s experience with marijuana is the same. Some users experience increased anxiety, fear, panic, or paranoia. Using marijuana also has the potential to increase the likelihood of clinical depression, or worsen the symptoms of any mental health challenges you already have.
Due to the above risks and lack of evidence of the benefits, self-medicating with marijuana to manage your mental health symptoms is not advisible. However, whatever you chose to do, the most important thing is to talk openly with your doctor, psychiatrist, and/or therapist about your usage and how it impacts your mental health. If you believe medical marijuana to be of benefit for your mental health, ideally it would be prescribed and regulated by a doctor. Due to current laws in the state in which you reside, this may not be an option. In the meantime in addition to being honest with your providers, be sure to explore alternative techniques to manage your symptoms, including mindfulness, psychiatric medications, meditation, herbs/supplements, and exercise.
Because therapy and mental health are much more than just showing up every week!
What we know and understand about mental health has come a long way in recent years. Between that and everything else going on in the world, it’s no surprise that many people have been more open to receiving mental health treatment. This is great news, but it can also be hard to know where to start and how to get the most of this to improve mental health, especially if this is your first time in therapy. So, where do you begin?
1. Do your mental health related research
It’s always a good idea to do a little bit of research to find a therapist that best suits your needs. Although most therapists are educated and trained on a wide range of issues, some therapists have spent a lot of time working with specific populations and consider that to be their ‘specialty.’ If you’re seeking help for a specific issue, it may be beneficial to see someone who already has experience in that area.
In addition, it’s very important that you feel comfortable with your therapist. People usually go to therapy to discuss challenging things in their lives and mental health issues, and if you’re not comfortable with the person sitting across from you, it will only make talking about those things more difficult. Most therapists post a little bit about themselves in a bio online, or even write blog posts like this one about things that interest them! Doing research about different therapists can give you an idea if he/she would be a good fit for you.
And if you find yourself working with a therapist that you feel isn’t a good fit, speak up about it! Chances are your therapist will be understanding and can even provide referrals for other therapists in the area.
2. Think about you’re mental health goals and what you're hoping to get out of therapy
You will most likely start your first appointment by discussing what brings you to therapy and some of your history. It can be helpful if you’ve already put some thought into the issues you’re hoping to address. Are you looking to change some negative behaviors, or learn healthy coping skills? Maybe you want to improve your interpersonal relationships by learning better communication skills, or manage symptoms of anxiety or depression. Whatever it is you’re looking to address, being prepared with clear goals can help keep your sessions focused so you’re getting the most of your time each week. It can also help to think about any significant experiences from your past that may be impacting you currently, as that can be helpful information that therapists will want to know about you.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask questions
Therapy is a safe place where you should feel comfortable sharing your deepest insecurities or struggles. You should also feel comfortable enough to speak up and ask questions if something isn’t making sense to you or isn’t working for you. Your therapist can only work with the information you bring to the session, so if you feel like those breathing exercises you keep talking about each week just aren’t working, be honest and say that. Then we can try to explore what isn’t working with the breathing exercises, or maybe even discuss different calming techniques altogether.
Therapy is also a great place to practice things like communication skills, setting or enforcing boundaries, and being assertive (like saying ‘hey, these breathing exercises aren’t working for me!’). If these are things you struggle with, discuss it with your therapist so they can be sure to address these issues during the session.
4. Be positive but also realistic
It’s a pretty common misconception that you’ll receive some advice from a therapist in one or two sessions and you’ll be able to apply that advice to your life and move on. It’s important to understand that therapy is a process that often requires some patience. For some people it takes more than one or two sessions to even feel comfortable enough to discuss some of those deepest insecurities, and that’s okay. Treatment will be ongoing. There’s no set number of sessions and it can differ for everyone.
It can be helpful to approach therapy with curiosity. Be curious about the ways you currently behave, think, and feel. Have you experienced anything in life that may be contributing to these behaviors, thoughts, and feelings?
5. Do your homework
Therapy is much more than simply showing up for your session each week. Some therapists may give ‘homework assignments’ hoping to keep you engaged in between sessions. Homework could be asking you to journal and reflect on certain areas of your life. It may be simply noticing when something you discussed in session comes up, or even practicing certain skills like breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and self-care, all which help improve mental health.
Even if your therapist doesn’t assign you specific tasks, you should still be putting in work outside of session. Therapy is a great place to receive tips, guidance, and education about things you’re struggling with, but the actual change takes place when you start applying those tips to your everyday life.
Poor mental health can affect so many parts of your life including your relationships with others, your
performance at work, and even day-to-day tasks such as daily hygiene. Daily hygiene such as
taking a shower, brushing your teeth, and doing your laundry may seem like simple tasks for
some, but for someone struggling with mental illness these same tasks can feel like pushing a
300-pound boulder up a hill. But why?
Why does mental health make it so hard to take a shower?
For starters, depression is often characterized by diminished interest in activities and feeling
fatigued. In other words, you probably have little motivation or energy to maintain your hygiene
when you’re feeling depressed. But depression isn’t the only mental health diagnosis that affects
daily hygiene. Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, and PTSD have all been linked to
negative impacts on daily hygiene.
So what can you do when mental illness is affecting your hygiene?
For starters, you can try some of these techniques:
If taking a shower seems like a lot of work, try starting by just standing under the water for a
minute. Yes, you may not be as clean as if you used soap, but it will make the task of showering
seem less intimidating and can help you both physically and mentally.
Think convenience! Use things like antiperspirant, dry shampoo and wipes regularly. You can
buy cleaning wipes (usually made for kids) almost anywhere, and they don’t require any water!
If you have days where taking a shower seems like too much work, there’s no shame in doing
what you can to maintain hygiene.
If you absolutely cannot bring yourself to brush your teeth, use mouthwash with extra fluoride
and rinse liberally for as long as you can. You can also take more preventative measures such as
using a toothpaste with extra fluoride so you have extra protection when you do brush, and visit
the dentist for more consistent checkups (say every 6 months versus every year).
If you’re struggling to do your laundry, ask for help. A friend or family member may be willing
to help you tackle the overwhelming pile of laundry that’s been building for the last few weeks.
If you have social supports, utilize them! You can also use this as a time to catch up with your
loved ones.
What if all of these are still too overwhelming?
If you’re struggling to practice hygiene even when you know you should, you may need help.
In general, you should reach out for help if an issue is making it difficult to function. If your poor
hygiene is starting to affect things like work, school, personal relationships, or your health,
consider contacting a professional. A therapist can help you further explore your struggles with
hygiene, and provide you with appropriate skills to make managing your hygiene a little bit
easier. If you think psychotherapy may benefit you, feel free to reach out to our office to
schedule an appointment.
Now more than ever, tension between those with differing political opinions is at an all time high. Challenges with the economy, a global pandemic, racial inequality, gun violence, and more-all of these issues have many looking toward a greater entity like our government help find a solution. Frustration, hopelessness, despair, and fear are prevalent, which has contributed to the intensity of the current political discord. What do you do when some of the strongest differences of beliefs and opinions are with your family and friends? Here are some strategies on how to handle political disagreements with the ones we love while respecting and preserving your mental health.
- Avoid the topic all together.
There is no shame in knowing your triggers and doing your best to avoid them. Oftentimes, it is necessary to separate yourself until you are able to learn and incorporate the coping skills to manage your emotions when confronted with these troubling situations. This may not be a permanent solution; however, it can be a very valuable gift of self-compassion to know your emotional limitations. For some individuals you come across, it may never be a good idea to engage with them on this topic. Be brave enough to take a step back and avoid putting yourself in the line of fire to be hurt emotionally.
- Be open-minded
Some of you may scoff at this suggestion, stating to yourself, “ME be open minded? THEY need to be open minded!” This is where the expression, “Be the change you wish to see in the world” comes into play. Try to understand why the person thinks the way they do before dismissing their believes as outlandish or illogical. Suspend your judgements, and instead embody an attitude of curiosity and understanding. This will decrease defensiveness in the conversation and increase the likelihood that the other person will listen to what you have to say.
- Remain calm.
As stated earlier, there are a number important issues at stake in the political sphere, which in turn can result in individuals being very passionate about their beliefs. This passion can easily turn to anger when not harnessed properly, or you come across someone with beliefs that you think are “part of the problem.” Anger clouds rational thought, and no productive discussion will occur when anger arises. Take deep breathes in and out through the nose. Do your best to keep your voice volume low and free of anger or sarcasm. Maintain non-confrontational body language through relaxed gestures, posture, and body movement. Even if the other person begins to escalate, if you remain calm it will most likely prevent the conversation from turning into an argument. Remind yourself, “This discussion is not worth my peace of mind.”
- Find Common Ground.
It is easy to focus on all of the ways that we are different from one another. In a political climate that pins one group against another, it can be challenging to avoid getting caught up in that line of thinking for ourselves. However, as a clinician who has extensive experience studying human behavior, one fact I know to be true is this: We are a lot more alike than we are different. Although the path to getting there may differ, most people are striving for happiness, safety, and connection. It may be helpful to try and find an issue you both can agree on in order to foster a mentality of togetherness rather than division. Look for even the smallest of opportunities to point out beliefs/values/desires that are similar. Doing so can be helpful in fostering the dynamic and of understanding, which will lead to a much more productive conversation.
- Know when to walk away.
Learning how to handle political disagreements with the ones we love, involves learning when to walk away. Oftentimes, political conversations have a tendency of continuing in circles until one person gives up, stating, “Let’s just agree to disagree.” Although this statement may seem harmless, it can leave both parties feeling unheard and as if the conversation was a waste of time. Instead, try to end the conversation before it gets either too repetitive, argumentative, emotional, or unproductive. End the conversation by stating something like, “I appreciate the information you’ve given me. It has given me a lot to think about. Let’s revisit this at another time.” This ends the conversation respectfully, as well as validating the other person’s time and energy put forth into speaking with you.
I hope you find these strategies helpful in maintaining peace of mind amongst what can be a triggering topic. Always remember to prioritize your mental health, reach out for support, and practice self-care before and after each interaction. You’ve got this!
Sometimes we convince ourselves that taking time to recharge is a luxury we can’t afford. However that is not true. Whether we can proactively allot an hour a day for ourselves or we have an unplanned ten minute gap between two meetings, we have time to take for ourselves. In this article we will take a look at how to prioritize self care.
Regardless of which group you belong to, you can use your time to reconnect with old friends, take some time outside or anything that will leave you feeling more centered. An important thing to keep in mind when it comes to using our downtime wisely is to make sure that whatever we are doing during our break increases our sense of wellbeing. With all the social media platforms, we may automatically go to our newsfeed and mindlessly scroll during unplanned free time. However, we may notice that after we’ve gotten lost in social media posts we don’t feel any more rejuvenated than when we started. This tells us that we didn’t use our time as wisely as we would have liked.
A lot of times we believe we are important if we are busy, especially important if we are unbelievably busy. We forget to remind ourselves that busyness often leads to stress and dissatisfaction with our lives. This is why we value time off from work and vacation so highly because those are times when we are either not busy or significantly less busy. It is time we can take to slow down and reset.
It can be helpful to sit down and make a list of things we want to have more of in our lives so when we get a block of free time, no matter how long it is or if it is planned or unplanned, we have an idea of how to feel more recharged after that time rather than getting lost in a social media newsfeed. So my challenge for you is to sit down at some point in the next week and make a list of things that bring you joy and have it saved in your phone or keep a copy in your wallet so next time you get a surprise 10 minute break, you can use it wisely.
If you are unsure of how to start, here are a few ideas to get your self-care going:
- Make a list of old friends or family you have fallen out of touch with. Next time you have a few minutes, send them a text or give them a call to set up a time to have dinner or meet for coffee to catch up.
- If you enjoy getting some sun, maybe take a walk around the block or sit outside for a few minutes.
- Make a Spotify playlist of songs that remind you of good times in your life.
- Keep options of your favorite drink nearby & make yourself a cup of your favorite tea or coffee next time you have a few minutes.
- Get yourself a gift card to a nearby bakery or shop that has snacks you enjoy.
- Breathe. Sometimes simply doing nothing can be the most rewarding thing. Close your eyes and take 5 deep breaths while thinking of nothing but the feeling of inhaling & exhaling. Try to count one breath at a time from 1-5, anytime your mind wanders, start over again at 1 until you can reach 5 without wandering off, (Even if you have to restart 5 times, this will likely take you less than a minute).
You Deserve to be a Priority
No one wins the game where the busiest, most stressed person gets a medal. Life is not one great big emergency, chronically not taking care of yourself is. Self-care is not selfish. If you find yourself struggling with separation busyness from importance, remind yourself that you are important regardless and can prove it to yourself by prioritizing time for you to recharge & reset so you can conquer what lies ahead of you. If you feel you need additional support in reducing your stress and figuring out your life goals, give our office a call.
Are you familiar with that that voice that is just below the surface, undermining your accomplishments, diminishing your strengths, and playing off your deepest insecurities and fears? This voice may follow you to work, accompany you to social gatherings, be by your side when attempting to accomplish your daily responsibilities, and whispering in your ear when you spend time with loved ones. What is this disapproving voice that sounds so much like our own, judging and demeaning us at every turn? It's your inner critic.
This voice is commonly known in psychology as the “inner critic.” Freud called it the “superego,” scientists call it “survivor brain,” and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy refers to it as “automatic negative thoughts.” Whatever you call it, much of this internal dialogue arises from messages that were given to us starting in childhood by family, teachers, friends, and society. Over time, due to our own insecurities, challenges, and negative life experiences, this voice gets louder, stronger, and more persuasive. It becomes harder and harder to identify what is reality, and what is the inner critic attempting to sabotage our emotional wellbeing.
This sounds grim, but there is good news. You don’t have to believe everything you think. Let me say that again-YOU DON’T HAVE TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING YOU THINK. Humans have an average of 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day, 80% of which are negative. This negativity over time can lead to sadness, helplessness, agitation, fear, worry, and hopelessness. They say, “Change your thoughts, change your life.” But how do we do that, especially when this inner critic has become so strong and powerful over time?
The simple answer? It’s a process. It will take mindfulness, vigilance, and consistency to change the pervasive negative thought patterns of the inner critic. However, the inner peace, freedom, confidence, and happiness that result from doing so are beyond measure. Here are some tools to get you started on gaining freedom from your inner critic:
1. Peacefully Observe Your Inner Critic
Oftentimes when we encounter something negative, or tendency is to try to suppress, avoid, fix, manage or control it. However, when it comes to negative thoughts, doing so often results in temporary relief, and the negative thoughts often resurface with a vengeance soon after. It can be helpful to think of your inner critic as a child throwing a temper tantrum. Let your inner critic know that you hear it, but do not give it more power than it deserves by engaging with it. Find a mantra that feels right to you, conveying the message, “Ok inner critic, I hear what you are saying, but I do not wish to listen or believe that.” Remind yourself that your thoughts are just words in your head, they are not facts. It is up to you to decide how much power you wish to give these words.
2. Investigate Your Inner Critic
The inner critic often exaggerates the negative in an attempted to keep you trapped in fear and hopelessness. Take some time to investigate what the inner critic is saying. For example, “You are a horrible parent.” Ask yourself, “Are my children alive? Are they fed/clothed/bathed? Am I doing the best I can?” Chances are, your inner critic is lying to you, taking one negative event combined with your own insecurities and stating the worst. Try asking yourself some general investigative questions, such as “Is this thought helpful? Is this thought true? What might my family and friends say about this thought? Am I blaming myself unnecessarily? What does the evidence in my life say about this thought?” This will help to expose the inner critic for what it really is-an irrational, illogical, and deceptive bully.
3. Meditate
Regular meditation practice allows you to become painfully aware of the endless chatter of the mind. As stated earlier, 80% of our thoughts are negative. Regular meditation practice will help you to gain experience in becoming mindful of your thoughts, detaching emotionally from these thoughts, and gaining the ability to pick and choose which thoughts you wish to engage with. Meditation is counterintuitive, so start small and keep your expectations low. The goal of meditation is not to be absent of thoughts. It is meant to help you gain clarity in how the mind works, and to avoid getting swept up and emotionally invested with your thoughts.
4. Practice Self-Care
Sometimes it can be beneficial to “act as if” we love ourselves, and our thoughts will catch up with our actions over time. The inner critic is often developed through receiving messages that you are not good enough and don’t matter. By engaging in regular self-care activities, you are sending another more truthful message to your inner critic-that you are worthy of love and respect. Self-care comes in a variety of forms, such as setting limits with others, having realistic expectations, repeating positive affirmations, journaling, exercise, eating healthy, drinking water, getting a massage, reaching out for help, dancing, singing, and resting. Find out what gives you that warm and fuzzy feeling and run with it. Send the message to your inner critic that you are not believing it’s lies anymore by treating yourself with kindness and compassion.
Battling your inner critic is not an easy task, but it is worth the fight. Remember, despite your past, challenges, and struggles, you deserve happiness. Don’t let anyone or anything tell you otherwise. If you feel you can use assistance in challenging these thoughts and finding your inner peace, don't hesitate to contact us.
– Alexandria (Alex) Fairchild, LMSW
It’s a known fact that our species are social beings. We evolved by living in communities relying on one-another to help us meet our daily needs like: food, child-care, shelter, safety, and of course emotional well being. Nowadays though, that sense of community seems to have dissipated in our individualistic society. Life get’s busy, we have to work, we have to pay our bills and socialization has become more of a luxury than a daily given. But it truly is essential for our emotional and mental well being to have a supportive network of friends and family to help us through tough times.
Socialization & Brain Chemistry
One of the most calming experiences can be to spend time with people who make you feel loved and understood. Face-to face interaction can counter act our body’s “fight or flight” response by releasing a slew of hormones that elevate our mood. When we socialize with those we love our brain releases “oxytocin” which is a lovely little chemical that boosts mood. Oxytocin is produced by a part of the brain which is instrumental in regulating many of the most basic and necessary physical rhythms of the body: sleep, hunger, thirst, and emotional reaction. Oxytocin has also been shown to be the driving factor in the triggering of another fabulous chemical “Dopamine”. Dopamine release signals feelings of pleasure and supports behaviors we need to survive- such as eating, drinking and procreating.
Socialization & Reduction of Dementia Risks
Building social networks and participating in social activities are like exercises for your brain because they keep your mind agile and improve cognitive function. In a California study published by the American Journal of Public Health, researchers reported that older women who managed large social networks reduced their risk of dementia by 26%. Furthermore, women who had daily contact with their individuals in their social circle cut their risk of dementia by almost half!
Socialization Effects on Depression & Anxiety
Close supportive relationships with friends, family and colleagues act as a buffer to hashes of the real world. They improve our feelings of self-worth, lower our symptoms of depression and anxiety and help us to feel accepted. When you have loved ones to lean on in times of stress and to fill your life with fulfilling activities, you are less likely to struggle with anxiety and depression related symptoms.
Socialization & Stress
Socializing is just a good way in general to take your mind off the stressors of life. Participating in social activities alleviates pressure, gives us something to look forward to on the hard days and take our mind off of stressors easier than when we do activities alone.
In Summation
Socialization is a basic NEED. We all need to feel loved and accepted by others. It fuels our brain chemistry; affecting our mood, diet, thought patterns and self-esteem. If you or a loved one need help in becoming more social due to struggling with mental health symptoms, we would be glad to help you get there. Contact our office to see how we can assist you in moving towards the life you want and deserve.
Stay Shining,
While depression and anxiety are two very separate mental health issues, they often go hand in hand with one another. They fuel one another: anxiety can lead to depression; depression can lead to anxiety. When these two play off one another it can feel debilitating for the individual struggling with these ailments. In this article we will look at how these conditions play on one another and how to get treatment for them.
Why Depression and Anxiety Go Hand in Hand
It has been estimated that about half the people struggling with either depression or anxiety have both conditions at the same time. For each person experiencing this the cause can be different. Some individuals struggle with both disorders simultaneously, others have one condition trigger the other. For example, if you are struggling with anxiety and worry is preventing you from completing needed tasks or being productive, this can easily lead to negative thoughts and feelings of hopelessness about your situation. In this instance, over tie your anxiety can lead to depression.
Here are some signs you may be suffering from both:
- Irrational fear and worry about the world around you
- Physical symptoms, such as headaches, fatigue, difficulty breathing and rapid heartbeat
- Insomnia and other troubles sleeping
- Loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed or those activities cause panic attacks
- Difficulty remembering things and making decisions
- Inability to relax, even under normal circumstances
- Panic attacks
Everyone experiences mental health concerns differently. If you are experiencing any of the above symptoms, it may be time to check in with your doctor and get help. Early intervention is the best way to ensure these concerns do not begin to interfere significantly with your every day functioning.
Anxiety and depression are both very treatable forms of mental illness. With medication, therapy, and other forms of intervention, you can overcome your symptoms and begin to feel like yourself again. Whether you struggle with depression, anxiety or both simultaneously, a qualified therapist can help you begin to regain your life. A therapist will help you to: identify symptoms, triggers, and learn healthy ways of coping. With time, practice and some self-exploration therapy can help you to begin to live a life that you enjoy living. If you need help, please feel free to contact our office for a consultation and more information on how we an assist you.
Keep Shining,