Do you have a child struggling with test anxiety? If so, you’re not alone. Test anxiety can be debilitating and is a common problem among school aged children. Fortunately, there is a treatment for test anxiety that can help your child transform their test results - EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). EMDR is an evidence-based treatment for test anxiety that can quickly and effectively reduce feelings of panic and fear associated with exams. EMDR treatment for test anxiety offers parents, teachers and tutors a powerful tool to help their child overcome test anxiety and reach their full potential. With the help of EMDR intensives, your child can fast track their results and improve their test performance.

Understanding Test Anxiety and its Impact on Academic Performance

The impact of test anxiety on academic performance is multi-faceted. It not only affects a child's ability to recall information but also hinders their problem-solving skills and critical thinking abilities. When children are anxious, they may struggle to think clearly and make decisions effectively, resulting in poor test performance. Furthermore, test anxiety can lead to a lack of confidence in their abilities, which can further hinder their academic performance.
Test anxiety can also have long-term effects on a child's academic success. If left untreated, it can become a recurring issue, leading to a cycle of poor test performance, increased anxiety, and decreased motivation. This cycle can ultimately have a detrimental impact on a child's self-esteem and overall academic achievement.
It is essential for parents, teachers, and tutors to recognize the signs of test anxiety in children and take proactive steps to address it. By understanding the impact of test anxiety on academic performance, they can provide the necessary support and guidance to help their child overcome this challenge.
In the next sections of this blog post, we will explore the signs of test anxiety in children, traditional treatments for test anxiety, and introduce a highly effective treatment option - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. By gaining a comprehensive understanding of test anxiety and its impact, you can equip yourself with the knowledge and tools to help your child overcome test anxiety and achieve their full potential.

Signs of Test Anxiety in Children

Test anxiety can manifest in different ways in children. It is important for parents, teachers, and tutors to recognize the signs and symptoms of test anxiety in order to provide the necessary support and intervention. Here are some common signs of test anxiety in children to watch out for:

1. Physical symptoms: Children experiencing test anxiety may exhibit physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, rapid heartbeat, sweating, or even feeling lightheaded. These physical manifestations are a result of the stress and fear they experience before and during exams.
2. Emotional distress: Children with test anxiety may become visibly anxious or agitated leading up to exams. They may experience feelings of irritability, restlessness, or even sadness. It is not uncommon for children to cry or have difficulty sleeping the night before a test.
3. Avoidance behaviors: Some children with test anxiety may go to great lengths to avoid exams or situations that trigger their anxiety. They may try to skip school on test days, feign illness, or make excuses to avoid taking exams. These avoidance behaviors are their way of coping with the anxiety they feel.
4. Negative self-talk: Children with test anxiety may have negative thoughts and beliefs about their abilities and performance. They may express self-doubt or say things like, "I'm stupid," or "I'll never do well on this test." These negative self-perceptions can further contribute to their anxiety and impact their test performance.
5. Perfectionism: Children with test anxiety often hold themselves to extremely high standards and have a fear of failure. They may strive for perfection in their schoolwork and become overly stressed if they make even minor mistakes. This perfectionism can create additional pressure and anxiety during exams.
6. Difficulty concentrating: Test anxiety can impair a child's ability to focus and concentrate on the test material. They may have difficulty paying attention or staying focused during the exam, leading to mistakes or missed questions.
   Recognizing these signs of test anxiety in children is the first step towards helping them overcome this challenge. By being aware of these symptoms, parents, teachers, and tutors can provide the necessary support and guidance to help children manage their anxiety and perform to their full potential on exams.

Traditional Treatments for Test Anxiety

One traditional treatment for test anxiety is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps children identify and challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about exams. By replacing these negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones, children can reduce their anxiety and improve their test performance. CBT also teaches children relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and visualization, to manage stress during exams.
Another traditional treatment for test anxiety is gradual exposure therapy. This involves slowly exposing children to test-like situations, starting with less stressful scenarios and gradually working up to full exams. By gradually increasing the difficulty level, children can become desensitized to the anxiety-provoking aspects of tests and develop confidence in their ability to handle them.
Furthermore, some children benefit from working with a tutor or academic coach who can provide targeted support in areas where they struggle. Tutors can help children develop effective study strategies, improve their time management skills, and build confidence in their knowledge and abilities.
While these traditional treatments can be helpful, they may not address the underlying causes of test anxiety. This is where EMDR therapy can offer a unique and powerful solution. EMDR therapy focuses on processing past traumatic experiences and their associated negative beliefs and emotions. By targeting the root causes of test anxiety, EMDR therapy can provide long-lasting relief from anxiety and improve overall well-being.

What is EMDR Therapy?

EMDR therapy, also known as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, is a highly effective treatment option for individuals struggling with test anxiety. Developed by psychologist Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR therapy has gained recognition as an evidence-based treatment for a variety of mental health conditions, including anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and phobias.
So, what exactly is EMDR therapy? EMDR therapy is a comprehensive and integrative approach that combines elements of different psychotherapeutic modalities. It incorporates techniques from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, and bilateral stimulation to help individuals process and reframe traumatic or distressing experiences that contribute to their test anxiety.
The therapy works by targeting the root causes of test anxiety, such as past traumatic events or negative beliefs about exams. During an EMDR session, the individual is asked to recall the distressing event or negative belief while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation. This bilateral stimulation can be achieved through eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones.
The bilateral stimulation activates both hemispheres of the brain, allowing the individual to process the distressing memory or belief in a more adaptive and less emotionally charged way. This helps to reprocess the negative emotions associated with the memory or belief and replace them with more positive and realistic thoughts.
EMDR therapy is highly individualized, meaning that each session is tailored to the specific needs and experiences of the individual. The therapist works closely with the individual to identify the core memories or beliefs that contribute to their test anxiety and collaboratively develop a treatment plan.
Research has consistently shown that EMDR therapy can significantly reduce test anxiety symptoms and improve overall well-being. Many individuals report feeling a sense of relief, increased self-confidence, and improved test performance after completing EMDR therapy.
If you are considering EMDR therapy for your child's test anxiety, it is important to find a qualified and experienced EMDR therapist. Look for therapists who are trained and certified in EMDR therapy and have experience working with children. It is also essential to establish a good rapport with the therapist and ensure that your child feels comfortable and safe throughout the treatment process.
In the next section of this blog post, we will explore how EMDR therapy can specifically help individuals overcome test anxiety and improve their test performance. Stay tuned to learn more about the transformative effects of EMDR therapy on test anxiety.

How EMDR Can Help Overcome Test Anxiety

Test anxiety can be a significant obstacle for many children when it comes to their academic performance. Fortunately, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy offers a powerful solution for overcoming test anxiety and achieving success in exams.
EMDR therapy is specifically designed to target the root causes of test anxiety, such as past traumatic experiences or negative beliefs about exams. By engaging in bilateral stimulation while recalling distressing memories or beliefs, individuals can reprocess these experiences in a more adaptive and less emotionally charged way. This helps to alleviate the negative emotions associated with test anxiety and replace them with more positive and realistic thoughts.
One of the key benefits of EMDR therapy is its individualized approach. Each session is tailored to the specific needs and experiences of the individual, ensuring that they receive the most effective treatment for their test anxiety. Through collaborative work with a trained and experienced EMDR therapist, children can explore and address the underlying causes of their test anxiety, leading to lasting relief and improved well-being.
Research has consistently shown that EMDR therapy can significantly reduce test anxiety symptoms and enhance test performance. Many individuals report feeling a sense of relief, increased self-confidence, and improved concentration during exams after undergoing EMDR therapy.
The transformative effects of EMDR therapy on test anxiety are undeniable. By addressing the root causes of test anxiety and reprocessing negative beliefs and emotions, children can overcome their fear and panic associated with exams. This enables them to approach tests with greater confidence, clarity, and focus, ultimately leading to improved test results and academic performance.
If you're considering EMDR therapy for your child's test anxiety, it's important to find a qualified and experienced EMDR therapist. Look for therapists who are trained and certified in EMDR therapy, with specific experience in working with children. Building a strong rapport with the therapist and ensuring your child feels comfortable and safe throughout the treatment process is essential for a successful outcome.
EMDR therapy provides a unique and highly effective solution for children struggling with test anxiety. By addressing the underlying causes of their anxiety and reprocessing negative beliefs and emotions, EMDR therapy can help children overcome their fear and achieve their full potential in exams. With the power of EMDR, your child can transform their test results and excel academically.

How to Choose an EMDR Therapist for Your Child

When it comes to choosing an EMDR therapist for your child, it is important to find someone who is qualified, experienced, and specializes in working with children. EMDR therapy can be a highly effective treatment for test anxiety, but finding the right therapist is key to ensuring its success.
One of the first things you can do is to ask for recommendations. Reach out to your child's school counselor, pediatrician, or other mental health professionals in your area. They may be able to provide you with a list of EMDR therapists who have experience working with children and treating test anxiety.
Once you have a list of potential therapists, take the time to do some research. Look for information about their training, certification, and experience in using EMDR therapy. You want to ensure that the therapist you choose has the necessary credentials and expertise to effectively treat your child's test anxiety.
It is also important to consider the therapist's approach and philosophy. EMDR therapy is a highly individualized treatment, and each therapist may have their own unique style and techniques. Schedule a consultation or initial appointment with the therapist to discuss their approach and see if it aligns with your child's needs and preferences.
During the consultation, ask questions about the therapist's experience working with children, particularly those with test anxiety. Inquire about their success rates and what specific strategies or techniques they use to address test anxiety. It can also be helpful to inquire about their availability and scheduling options to ensure that it fits with your child's academic schedule.
Lastly, trust your instincts and your child's instincts. It is essential for your child to feel comfortable and safe with the therapist. They should feel heard, understood, and supported throughout the treatment process. If you or your child have any reservations or concerns, it may be best to continue your search for a therapist who feels like the right fit.
Choosing the right EMDR therapist for your child is an important decision that can significantly impact their experience and outcomes. By doing your research, asking the right questions, and following your instincts, you can find a qualified and experienced EMDR therapist who can help your child overcome test anxiety and reach their full potential.

EMDR Intensives and their Benefits

EMDR intensives are a specialized form of EMDR therapy that offers a unique set of benefits for children struggling with test anxiety. Unlike traditional weekly therapy sessions, EMDR intensives involve concentrated and extended treatment over a shorter period of time, typically spanning a few days or a week. This condensed treatment format allows for deeper and more focused work, resulting in faster and more significant improvements in test anxiety symptoms.
One of the primary benefits of EMDR intensives is the accelerated pace of progress. With regular therapy sessions, it can sometimes take weeks or months to see significant results. However, with EMDR intensives, children can experience noticeable improvements in a matter of days. This rapid progress can be highly motivating and provide a much-needed boost in confidence for children struggling with test anxiety.
EMDR intensives also allow for a comprehensive and immersive therapeutic experience. During an intensive, children can fully immerse themselves in the therapeutic process, focusing solely on their test anxiety and related challenges. This concentrated approach can help children quickly identify and address the underlying causes of their test anxiety, leading to more lasting and transformative change.
Another benefit of EMDR intensives is the opportunity for intensive skill-building and practice. Children can learn and practice specific techniques and strategies to manage their anxiety in real-time, both during therapy sessions and in-between. This intensive skill-building allows children to develop a strong foundation of coping mechanisms and tools to use during exams and stressful situations.
Furthermore, EMDR intensives provide a supportive and nurturing environment for children to explore and process their emotions. The extended treatment format allows for more in-depth and comprehensive exploration of past traumas, negative beliefs, and emotions that contribute to test anxiety. This deeper level of emotional processing can lead to profound healing and a greater sense of empowerment for children.
While EMDR intensives can be highly effective, it is important to note that they may not be suitable for everyone. Each child is unique, and the decision to pursue EMDR intensives should be made in consultation with a qualified EMDR therapist who can assess the child's specific needs and circumstances.
In summary, EMDR intensives offer a powerful and accelerated treatment option for children struggling with test anxiety. The condensed and immersive nature of EMDR intensives allows for faster progress, comprehensive skill-building, and deep emotional processing. By considering EMDR intensives as a treatment option, parents, teachers, and tutors can provide their child with the best possible support to overcome test anxiety and reach their full potential.

Tips for Parents, Teachers and Tutors to Help Children with Test Anxiety

1. Create a supportive environment: Foster a safe and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their anxiety and seeking help. Encourage open communication and listen to their concerns without judgment. Let them know that their feelings are valid and that you are there to support them.
2. Teach relaxation techniques: Help your child develop relaxation techniques to manage stress and anxiety during exams. Deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualization techniques can all be helpful in reducing anxiety levels. Practice these techniques together and encourage your child to use them during test situations.
3. Set realistic expectations: Help your child set realistic expectations for themselves and their test performance. Emphasize that exams are a way to assess their knowledge and growth, rather than a measure of their worth as individuals. Encourage them to focus on their effort and improvement, rather than solely on the outcome.
4. Teach effective study strategies: Work with your child to develop effective study strategies that suit their learning style. Help them create a study schedule, break down the material into manageable chunks, and use techniques such as flashcards or mnemonic devices to aid in memory retention. Teaching them effective study skills can help reduce anxiety and increase their confidence in their abilities.
5. Encourage a growth mindset: Instill in your child a growth mindset, emphasizing that intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and perseverance. Teach them to view challenges as opportunities for growth and to embrace mistakes as learning experiences. By cultivating a growth mindset, your child will be more resilient in the face of setbacks and better able to manage test anxiety.
6. Seek professional help: If your child's test anxiety persists or becomes overwhelming, consider seeking professional help. A qualified EMDR therapist can provide specialized treatment to address the root causes of test anxiety and help your child overcome their fears. Work with the therapist to develop a personalized treatment plan that suits your child's needs.
   

By implementing these tips and providing the necessary support, parents, teachers, and tutors can help children manage their test anxiety and perform to their full potential. Remember, overcoming test anxiety takes time and patience, so be sure to celebrate even small victories along the way. With the right support and strategies, your child can overcome their test anxiety and thrive academically.

Sending Love & Light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

Are you considering therapy near you, but not sure what approach to take? If so, you're not alone. Many people are interested in investing in themselves by seeking therapy, but may not know the difference between top-down and bottom-up approaches. Understanding these differences can make a huge impact in how effective your therapy is, so it's important to do your research. In this blog post, we'll discuss the difference between top-down and bottom-up approaches in therapy, as well as the magic in bottom up approaches.

Understanding Top-Down Approach to Therapy

When it comes to therapy, there are various approaches that therapists can take to help their clients navigate through their challenges. One such approach is the top-down approach. This approach focuses on addressing thoughts and behavior as the primary factors influencing an individual's well-being.

In a top-down approach to therapy, therapists often start by exploring their clients' thoughts and beliefs. They help clients identify any negative or irrational thinking patterns that may be contributing to their struggles. By challenging these thoughts and helping clients develop more positive and realistic thinking, therapists aim to bring about lasting change in their clients' behavior and emotions.

This approach emphasizes the importance of cognitive restructuring and cognitive-behavioral techniques to promote change. Therapists may use interventions such as cognitive reframing, thought-stopping, or problem-solving skills training to help their clients gain insight into their thought processes and make healthier choices.

While the top-down approach can be effective for some individuals, it may not be suitable for everyone. Some clients may benefit more from a bottom-up approach, which focuses on the mind-body connection. This approach recognizes that our bodies can store unresolved trauma and emotional experiences, leading to various psychological and physical symptoms.

If you are looking for therapy near me, it is important to consider which approach aligns best with your needs and preferences. Remember that therapy is a personal journey, and finding the right fit with a therapist who utilizes an approach that resonates with you is crucial for effective treatment. Whether you opt for a top-down or bottom-up approach, therapy can provide you with the support and tools you need to navigate life's challenges and achieve a sense of well-being.

Contrasting Thoughts and Behavior vs. Mind-Body Connection

When it comes to therapy, there are two primary approaches that therapists often employ: focusing on thoughts and behavior or exploring the mind-body connection. Both approaches have their merits and can be effective depending on the individual and their unique circumstances.

The traditional top-down approach to therapy emphasizes the importance of thoughts and behavior in influencing one's emotions and well-being. Therapists using this approach may help clients identify negative thought patterns, challenge distorted thinking, and develop more adaptive behaviors. This approach can be highly effective in helping individuals gain insight into their thoughts and behaviors and make positive changes.

On the other hand, the bottom-up approach to therapy emphasizes the mind-body connection and the importance of addressing physical sensations, emotions, and bodily experiences. This approach recognizes that emotions and traumatic experiences are stored not only in our minds but also in our bodies. Therapists using this approach may incorporate techniques such as body-focused therapies, somatic experiencing, or mindfulness practices to help clients become more attuned to their bodily sensations and work through past trauma.

Both approaches have their place in therapy, and the choice of approach often depends on the individual's needs and preferences. Some individuals may benefit from a more cognitive-focused approach, while others may find that exploring the mind-body connection brings about deeper healing. It's essential to find a therapist who offers both approaches and who is invested in understanding and supporting your unique healing journey.

If you're considering therapy and wondering, "Is there therapy near me that offers both top-down and bottom-up approaches?" it's important to do your research. Finding a therapist who is experienced in both approaches and has a genuine investment in yourself can greatly enhance your therapy experience. Remember, therapy is an investment in yourself, and finding the right therapist is crucial for your healing journey.

The Magic in Bottom-Up Approaches

When it comes to therapy, there is something truly magical about bottom-up approaches. These methods recognize the undeniable connection between our minds and bodies and use it to facilitate healing and growth.

One such approach is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), which has gained significant recognition for its effectiveness in treating trauma and anxiety. EMDR works by targeting the underlying emotional distress associated with traumatic experiences and reducing the intensity of triggering responses. This therapy encourages individuals to engage in bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping, while simultaneously recalling distressing memories. Through this process, the brain is rewired, allowing for adaptive resolution of traumatic events.

Research has shown that EMDR can result in a decrease in responsiveness to triggers, reducing symptoms associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This bottom-up approach emphasizes the importance of engaging the body's natural ability to heal and reprocess traumatic memories.

Investing in yourself through therapy can be a life-changing decision, and finding the right therapy near you is crucial for your well-being. Bottom-up approaches, like EMDR, offer a unique and effective way to address underlying emotional distress. By focusing on the mind-body connection and targeting the root causes of distress, these approaches bring about lasting change and growth.

If you are struggling with trauma, anxiety, or any other mental health issue, consider exploring bottom-up approaches like EMDR. The magic lies in the ability to tap into your body's innate healing capabilities and find true relief from distress. Remember, therapy is an investment in yourself, and the right therapy near you can lead you on a transformative journey towards healing and well-being.

Why invest in a specialist?

Investing in a specialist for your therapy needs can make a significant difference in your overall well-being and long-term success. Research consistently shows that specialized care leads to better outcomes compared to generalist approaches. 

Why settle for a therapist who may have a broad understanding of various issues, when you can see someone who specializes in your specific concern? Whether it's sexual abuse, postpartum struggles, imposter syndrome, people pleasing, or childhood trauma, seeking out a specialist ensures that you receive targeted and effective treatment.

The impact of specialized care extends beyond your mental health. It can enhance your overall functioning as an employee, improve your earning potential, strengthen your relationships as a friend, parent, and spouse. By addressing your specific issues through specialized therapy, you can experience transformative healing and personal growth.

Another crucial consideration is the time factor. Why wait to feel better and begin your journey to true healing? By seeing a specialist, you can get results more quickly, allowing you to start feeling better and living a fulfilling life sooner.

Finding a specialized therapist is easier than ever with the help of technology. Simply search "therapy near me" online, and you will be connected to a wide range of professionals who specialize in your specific concern.

Investing in yourself through specialized therapy is a decision that can change your life. Don't settle for a generic approach when you can receive personalized and impactful care from a specialist who truly understands your unique needs. If you're ready to accelerate your healing and begin living the life you deserve to have give our office a call today.

Sending Love & light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

Do you have that pesky voice in your head constantly shutting you down? Maybe you hear it say, “be a man”; “just do better”; “suck it up and deal”; “talking about your feelings makes you weak”; or “dude, no one wants to hear about your problems, just push through”. Seems familiar? 

You are not alone. Men across multiple cultures to include the United States of America are constantly told to bottle up their emotions and not talk about their feelings because vulnerability is seen as weakness. This is not only a cultural norm, but something that families instill in young boys growing up, in professional career settings, and in interpersonal relationships throughout our lives. But it’s all bullshit. If you want to know the truth, allowing yourself the space and strength to be vulnerable and discuss what you are going through makes you a man with courage; the courage to help yourself when you need to in a healthy way. 

The defining stereotyped image of whats makes someone a “man” includes expectations to use aggression (verbal and/or physical)  to solve their problems, suppressing emotions and never talking about their problems, isolating themselves and withdrawing (“because no one wants to hear your problems”), expected to be effortlessly attractive and/or in shape, value sexual conquests over emotional intimacy, homophobia, and be tough/intimidate others to get their way and/or defend themselves. 

Because our culture tells us that men should just sit down and shut up about their vulnerabilities, this often leads to self-destructive means of coping in men. Whether that be alcohol and/or substance misuse or abuse; or sabotaging personal and/or professional relationships with terrible communication skills and next to no problem solving abilities.

According to Benita N. Chatmon, PhD, MSN, RN, CNE, “Depression and suicide are ranked as a leading cause of death among men. Six million men are affected by depression in the United States every single year. Men (79% of 38,364) die by suicide at a rate four times higher than women (Mental Health America [MHA], 2020). They also die due to alcohol-related causes at 62,000 in comparison to women at 26,000. Men are also two to three times more likely to misuse drugs than women (Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality, 2017). These statistics are troubling because they reinforce the notion that males are less likely to seek help and more likely than women to turn to dangerous, unhealthy behaviors.” (https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7444121/)

So, how can we help challenge the negative stereotypes men are expected to live up to? How do we break the stigma so that men can achieve the felt safety in asking for help from others, whether that be trusted loved ones or professionals?

First, it is essential to normalize the idea of seeking mental health treatment. When we have a medical condition like Diabetes or Hypertension, there's no shame in going to the doctor and/or dietitian for guidance and/or medication management. So, why should there be shame in seeking out help for issues like Depression, Anxiety, or Trauma? I feel that the reason this happens all too often is that we can’t just look inside the brain anytime we want to see what’s going on from a chemical or physiological standpoint. So, because we can’t physically see and/or measure exactly whats going on or why we feel the way we do, it becomes stigmatized as “a figment of our imagination” or “over-exaggerating”. This is beyond infuriating because mental health concerns are just as legitimate and can potentially become just as, if not more devastating than some medical conditions. 

In my career, I’ve seen lives destroyed by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychosis, Depression, and Anxiety. Although such conditions don’t always lead to debilitation and/or significant decrease in functioning, they sometimes do and this is pathologized by cultural norms in America, especially for men. As noted above, men are expected to sit down and shut up, and not talk about their feelings because…”who cares, just deal and push through”.

In addition to normalizing the idea of seeking help, it is also important to be able to talk with trusted loved ones about what you are going through. Also, find ways to educate yourself about your mental health issues, maybe even do your homework about what condition you’ve been diagnosed with and what to expect in therapy. A wonderful resource for learning more general information about mental health diagnoses and treatments is National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). Please see the link for their main website listed here. https://nami.org/Home. Talk with your mental health provider openly about your diagnosis, what to expect in treatment, and any negative feelings that come with attending therapy. Your therapist is there to help. Try to use the time and calm space in therapy sessions to explore the negative stigmas around men seeking mental health care and how this has affected you and your relationships to yourself, others, and the world. This helps the therapist understand your world and your experience so that they can provide the appropriate tools to help. It is also beneficial to outreach others who are having the same or similar experiences as you; this can build compassion for others and feeling more understood and grounded in knowing that you are not alone. 

Men, just know that we all have baggage and you are not broken. You deserve to have the felt safety of seeking mental health care and addressing the concerns you have in a productive and healthy way. 

- Jackie Martinez, LMSW (NY), LCSW (NC)

Have you ever felt like when you try to explain something out loud, the pieces aren't all coming together like you thought…but when you write things out, it makes so much sense?! Or maybe you’ve noticed that fiercely scribbling out your upsetting feelings on paper to get it out of your head brings such a huge sense of relief, just to vent out the intensity for a second. Lots of people experience this relief and sense of calm with the powerful tool of journaling. It is a great  way to organize our thoughts a bit better and use writing to cope with our feelings. 

The many benefits of  journaling to address our thoughts and feelings  include the relief that follows laying out our thoughts on paper; tracking our emotions, triggers, and physical symptoms related to our thinking patterns; figuring out and processing what is helpful or not in our coping;  and thinking at our writing pace so that we can slow any racing thoughts so they are more manageable. 

Journaling is an amazing tool to help us learn more about ourselves that we didn’t realize. We often feel that we know ourselves well enough and don’t need writing to figure it out. However, if we try journaling, we may find that it increases our insights into ourselves and how our thinking influences our feelings, behavior, and overall functioning in our lives. Sometimes, people find that journals with prompting questions and/or tasks help guide them in a positive direction in their journaling practice. Some ways to do this could be with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) thought challenging, practicing gratitude exercises; mindfulness exercises; creating task/goals lists-breaking down large goals into smaller and more manageable ones; or tracking physical symptoms related to our emotional experience. Journaling not only helps with self reflection, but it boosts our sense of self efficacy, and shows us that we can take some control back in our lives. 

Over time, I have seen that journaling using prompts based in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy have been especially effective as it gives a new perspective on how to view and analyze different situations that are upsetting to us. Some prompts you may notice are helping us to highlight the negative thought and situation that may have contributed to it, thinking about whether this is emotions based or reality based thinking, finding new ways to view the situation and/or thinking about what we might tell a loved one if they were faced with similar thinking and/or circumstances. This method helps to reduce or even extinguish upsetting thoughts and/or feelings so that they don’t rule our existence. 

It is recommended to journal with the guidance of a professional if you feel like your journaling often takes you to a dark place, whether that be becoming more stuck in thoughts related to depression, anxiety, or trauma without any relief or benefit to journaling. I say this because some people may ruminate over the negative thoughts recorded and this is not useful. Some ways to manage this could be writing out the negative thoughts and then throwing out the page, burning it, or shredding it, whatever fits with how you feel. Avoid journaling about trauma independent of a professional. The reason I say this is because recording traumatic events and/or issues related to the trauma(s) can ultimately increase distressing thoughts and feelings, leading to potential decompensation in our emotional regulation and functioning. 

There are many structured journals with amazing prompts that can be found online that I highly recommend. One is called “Worry for Nothing: A Discreet, Guided Anxiety Journal | Journal with Prompt to Calm Anxiety & Improve Mental Health | Promotes Stress Relief & Self Care”. See link for additional information ( https://a.co/d/fuNxlkB).  Using such a tool with the guidance of your therapist can help increase your own insights and help your therapist understand you better as a person and how they can help solidify your emotional coping artillery.

In closing, journaling can be utilized as an incredibly effective tool to help us identify and manage our thoughts and emotions. I prefer the journals with specific prompting questions to guide me along in my wellness journey; but of course, everyone has a different preference and that is okay. As long as you are taking note of your negative thoughts and feelings to help shift them to a more positive and empowering place, this is the true benefit of journaling and its power.

- Jackie Martinez, LMSW (NY), LCSW (NC)

For years, the acronym ‘OCD’ has been widely misused by people to describe their organizational skills or how neat they keep all of their belongings. To be technical, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) should be defined as the presence of obsessions as well as compulsions. Obsessions being characterized by “recurrent & persistent thoughts, urges, or images that are experienced as intrusive or unwanted..” and compulsions being characterized by “repetitive behaviors or mental acts that that an individual feels driven to perform in response to an obsession or according to rules that must be applied rigidly,” (APA, 2022). What I hope to voice is that OCD is not something that is a personality trait, it is a mental health disorder as it states in its name. 

History of OCD

It is actually believed that OCD can be dated back to the 14th century. Researchers believe that some religious depictions and works depicted signs of OCD-like behaviors. Of course, the term OCD was not around during this time and it was referenced as scrupulosity (a term to reference fear of sins and compulsions to be devoted). During the 19th century, a time when psychology as well as medical advances were being made, French psychologists attempted to understand what they came to know as compulsions and obsessions by separating them into different categories. These conditions include that of phobias, panic disorders, as well as manic behaviors. 

What we have come to know now within the world of psychology, is that there really is no particular cause for OCD. There are current theories that state that biological, environmental, as well as learned behaviors can trigger the onset of OCD behaviors. However, what we do know is that those who have OCD have a larger sense of responsibility to tend to their intrusive thoughts as well as may misinterpret these intrusive thoughts. This sense of responsibility and repetitive behaviors lead to the obsessive thoughts regarding the stressor, leading the individual to engage in compulsive behaviors to rid themselves of the intrusive thoughts. 

OCD Breakdown

Obsessive-compulsive and related disorders is now its own section within the DSM. OCD used to be categorized as an anxiety disorder, however with the recent DSM-V edition it has been separated into its own section for obsessive-compulsive and related disorders. There are several disorders that fall under this category: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, Hoarding Disorder, Trichotillomania, Substance/Medication Induced OCD, Excoriation Disorder, as well as Other/Unspecified Obsessive-Compulsive disorders. 

Body Dysmorphic Disorder occurs when an individual has a preoccupation with perceived flaws or defects in their appearance. Any part of the body can be the area of concern for the individual; even if these flaws are not observable to anyone else. Because of the obsession over these perceived flaws, the individual likely will engage in compulsive behaviors in order to keep themselves in check.

Hoarding Disorder is probably one that you may know well due to TV shows like Hoarding: Buried Alive, I came to know it because of my grandparents. My grandparents were excessive hoarders, with their house being filled with countless knick-knacks, books, clothes, and even hundreds of mason jars. After my grandparents passed, it was up to my family to clean out their house and that was a project! After, most likely, 10 full dumpsters and a week of work we were able to clean out the house that they once lived in. Hoarding is the characteristic that an individual has a hard time letting go of items, regardless of their perceived and actual value. The difficulty that comes with letting go and releasing these items is the aesthetic and/or sentimental value that the item may have. Even though my grandparents were victims of hoarding, we were able to donate many things from the house we were able to salvage. 

Trichotillomania is a disorder where the individual compulsively pulls hair out from any part of the body. The distress that can be experienced by those with a hair-pulling disorder is one that can be described as shame, embarrassment, or even just feeling as though they have lost control. Hair-pulling may bring one gratification and satisfaction with each pull of a hair. Whereas, excoriation is the picking of the skin. Individuals who actively pick at their skin throughout the day, may experience similar emotions and feelings; feeling embarrassed, ashamed, as well as loss of control. The preoccupation with the intrusive thoughts of wanting to pick at your skin, or the struggle to fight the urge to not pick off a healing scab can leads to the compulsive behavior of removing that part of their skin. 

Still think that OCD is just a cliche personality trait?

OCD Treatment Methods

There are ways to live with symptoms falling under the umbrella of obsessive-compulsive related disorders. A common modality that is used is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is oftentimes used for many mental health concerns in therapy today. For a brief explanation of CBT, it essentially involves regular talk therapy about problems causing distress in the here and now. One of the key targets for CBT are intrusive thoughts, which we can also call OCD obsessive thoughts and need to act on compulsions as intrusive thoughts. Unfortunately, intrusive thoughts are something that cannot be completely eliminated because intrusive thoughts are simply unwanted or distressing thoughts, urges, or impulses.

Additionally, there is an approach termed Exposure & Response Prevention that is specifically geared towards challenging one's fears, obsessions, and compulsions. The idea of ERP is not to scare the individual, but to allow the individual to confront their fears in a comfortable setting that does not cause further distress. A major part of ERP is for the individual to be confronting these fears, but minus the act of the compulsions to “make it right.” Similar to regular talk therapy, with ERP the initial targets are small and are ones that don’t cause too much distress. This is because it is easier to challenge minute fears and be able to comprehend your ability to overcome them when first starting out.

OCD & ERP Example

Let’s say that your fear is that everything around you is covered in germs and you are fearful that these germs will cause you to become infected or die. Here is an example of what can be done to challenge and confront these fears over the course of treatment. Also notice that these steps are broken down into simple achievable steps, as to not be pushing the fear too far.

1. Touch stair railing in a public place
2. Use both hands to open doors to public buildings
3. Touch toilet seat at home, without washing hands afterwards
4. Be around an animal of some sort 
5. Use a public toilet
6. Showing physical signs of affection with loved ones (spouse, children, parents, etc.)
7. Use a fitting room at a store to try on new clothes

With each step being broken down and with each step gradually working up the fear ladder, an individual can become confident with facing their fears. However, it should also be stated that the person seeking treatment determines their hierarchy of fears and what they feel comfortable confronting and in what order.

OCD can be a debilitating illness, although it doesn’t have to stay that way. OCD is not making sure your desk is organized, or your kitchen is always clean. It’s more so about what these obsessions and compulsions do to you and how they impact you. Also, OCD is not the only disorder that comes with this family sized pack of obsessions and compulsions. If you feel like you're struggling with any of these, there is a way to regain control. Obsessions and compulsions will not write your life story.

- Conor Ohland, MHC-LP

Ah, the new year. We all think it – “new year, new me!”. We can be so eager to identify one or more resolutions. We always say, “this year is going to be different,” and we start off with a strong motivation until that dreaded crash about three weeks into January.

Some of the most popular resolutions include: exercising more, losing weight, getting organized, living life to the fullest or feeling happy, mastering a new hobby, budgeting, quitting smoking, traveling more, and spending more time with friends and family. While these are all admirable goals in and of themselves, the problem is that they are broad, vague, and unrealistic. For instance, exactly how does one plan to lose weight? Is it realistic to commit to going to the gym every day while having a strict low-carb diet? No. How does someone plan to budget? Does this mean paying for only necessities, and if so, what defines a necessity? Is it fair to say no to a night out with friends because that could break the goal?

The most important factor in making and keeping a resolution is to be realistic, balanced, and fair. No, someone will not lose three dress sizes in one month. No, they will not go to the gym every day. Yes, they will give in to temptation -- they will eat that Boston cream donut in the break room at work. Yes, they will end up buying something “on impulse” simply because they want it.

Now let’s change the “they” in the above paragraphs to “I.” Go back and read the paragraphs again. Reflect on what these sentences mean to you, if anything, when in the first-person.

Do they sound realistic, balanced, and fair? No.

In other words… Be nice to yourself. You are not a failure for a slip-up. You’re human, with your ups and downs, just like everyone else. Imperfection is okay. No one – absolutely no one – is motivated 100% of the time. Even Olympians struggle to maintain motivation. If you'd like additional resources of New Years Resolutions, click here.

Motivation Operates in Cycles

It is normal to experience the highs and lows of motivation. Instead of thinking, “why can’t I be motivated all of the time?” consider that some motivation is far better than none. That episode of motivation, no matter how fleeting it may seem, can still help you achieve your goals. Embrace it.

I used to struggle with not being able to uphold my motivation for long periods. I became frustrated at myself when I was doing something unproductive. Then I realized that the “something unproductive” was the very thing I needed to do to help recharge my emotional battery – to get me to feel inspired to get back on track with my goal.

Motivation operates in cycles, designed with peaks and troughs. It is not linear. Once you can begin to picture those highs and lows of motivation, moving away from the mentality that it is a straight-line to success, you work toward achievement of your goal (or you can at least readjust the goal to be a realistic one!).

The Phases of Motivation

The New Year before my wedding in October, much like so many other brides, I made it one of my resolutions to look a certain way for my wedding. I was determined to lose some of that weight I gained from too many snacks during all-nighters writing papers in graduate school.

I wanted to be reasonable with myself. I knew there was no way I was going to fit into a certain dress size, but I did know I could at least buy a dress in my real size and get it brought in if I lost weight. So, I did that.

I also downloaded Noom, a weight loss app with skills from cognitive behavior therapy (CBT). Daily, Noom drops short tips and suggestions to aid someone as they work toward weight loss. Early in the program, they introduced me to the Motivation Model, which changed my mindset. I began to be much more patient, loving, and kindhearted toward myself, addressing those nagging negative beliefs that were chewing away at me.

Let us use an example. Say you want to save 10% of your paycheck going forward. This is an illustration of what your motivation will look like throughout the journey:

As you can see, the Motivation Model has peaks and troughs; it is not straight nor linear.

The following names of each phase come from the model by Noom. However, keep in mind it applies to all reasons for motivation, not only weight loss. It is a universal model, and I am certain there are other products that have the same model but simply with different names.

Phase 1: The Hype

This is the most exciting phase. This is the phase where you think, “I got this! I am going to achieve these resolutions!” and jump in with a complete, undeniable motivation. This is where you can feel caught in the momentum, determined that their first time saving 10% of your paycheck will be the norm going forward.

This is where you will experience the honeymoon – when motivation is at its most extreme. This is when we have that unstoppable, almost grandiose sense of motivation. We are in a blissful ignorance. We think we need to feel that motivated all the time.

Phase 2: The Plummet

This is the painful, dreaded crash that happens after the honeymoon. This is the part of the cycle where people have a bump in the road, thinking they are a failure, and may fall into an old habit. This is the part where we feel extremely judgmental toward ourselves, thinking we will never be able to get back on track with our resolutions.

This is the part where you did not save 10% of your paycheck. You had a draining day. The boss was hard on you, you got in an argument with your spouse, your child had a temper tantrum. To cope, you went online-shopping and bought some things you wanted but did not need.

You may think the following:
“This sucks. This is way harder than I thought it’d be.”
“Maybe I can’t do this.”

This is all normal! This is okay! It is all part of the journey. Simply acknowledge you had a slip up and continue along.

Trough 1: The Lapse

This is the most difficult part. This is where you will feel at your lowest in your progress with your resolutions. This is where you are most likely to give up, state you will never get better, give in to those negative core beliefs, and just go back to how you used to be.

“This is way harder than I thought it’d be” degenerates into “this is impossible.”
“Maybe I can’t do this” becomes “I won’t do this. I give up.”

This is the time when clients tell their therapists they have given up on their resolutions and goals. They are convinced things cannot get better.

But this phase can and will pass. Just believe in yourself!

To get through this phase, do something. Do something that will help you feel one step closer to your resolutions and goals, even if it is very minimal. If this feels like too much, use a visualization meditation to imagine you have achieved your goal. Visualization can be a powerful psychological trick to boost confidence.

Also, have some gratitude for The Lapse. Sure, it does not feel good being there, but it is not a crisis. It is an opportunity to be introspective, to dive into yourself to figure out what is effective for you when you are not doing well, so you can prepare to do better in the future. It is the time for wisdom.

It gets better.

Phase 3: The Slips and Surges

Phase 3 is the steadier phase, where going at a rabbit’s pace slows down to that of a turtle. You know the saying, “slow and steady wins the race.” In this phase, the highs and lows are easier to tackle. The highs are no longer mountainous like the honeymoon, and the lows are no longer like a great ravine. You will still feel those highs and lows, and yes, they are permanent. But that is exactly to be expected. It is normal.

You will have some days that are better than others. Perhaps one day, your boss says you did an amazing job leading the team project. Maybe that ongoing argument with your spouse is turning more so into manageable disagreements. Maybe your child is learning to use coping skills rather than have meltdowns.

There will be the bad days too, of course. You’re late for work because you got a flat tire – and it is the same day as an important business meeting. Maybe you get a phone call from your child’s teacher because he is having problems in math. Perhaps after weeks of you and your spouse working hard on effective communication, an argument happens again.

This is how motivation operates. It reflects the highs and lows of life – all the good and the bad, the celebrations and the tribulations, the gains and losses.

Once you accept that the slips and surges will happen, you can be mindful. You can think to yourself:

“Today I really will only spend my money on what I need.”
“Honestly, today really was a hard day. It’s okay if I indulge a little bit. But tomorrow I will be back on track.”

And it will also allow you to be more freeing and forgiving toward yourself… “You know, it really is okay if I go out with my friends on Fridays. It’s not going to ruin my goal if I let myself have some fun. If anything, it will probably motivate me to continue my journey.”

Summary

1. Our motivation operates in cycles. We will have highs and lows.
2. Be fair to yourself. Be mindful; reflect on what you can learn during the highs and lows. Know they will all pass.
3. When in a low, do one small thing rather than nothing at all.

- Valerie Smith, LMSW, CFTG