Man experiencing emotional neglect. Find a therapist near Ronkonkoma, NY.

Do you often find yourself feeling hollow, as if something within you is missing? This unexplainable feeling of emptiness could be more than just a passing phase of ennui. It might be linked to a less-talked-about yet prevalent form of childhood trauma - emotional neglect.

Understanding Childhood Emotional Neglect

Childhood emotional neglect is an insidious form of child abuse that often flies under the radar. Unlike physical neglect or abuse, it doesn't leave visible scars or bruises, making it less conspicuous and frequently disregarded. It can be defined as a failure by caregivers to provide the emotional support and attention that children need to flourish and grow.

This neglect might not be intentional; parents might dismiss, ignore, or trivialize their child's emotions due to their lack of understanding or their own unmet emotional needs. Regardless of the reason, this neglect leaves a lasting impression on the child. It's akin to an unseen emotional void that the child carries forward into their adult life, often manifesting as a pervasive feeling of emptiness.

The impact of this neglect can be profound and far-reaching, affecting the child's ability to form healthy emotional connections and often resulting in feelings of inadequacy, unlovability, or a sense of being fundamentally flawed. Recognizing this form of neglect is the first step towards understanding the emptiness you might be feeling.

The Invisible Scars of Emotional Neglect

Sad little boy suffering from emotional neglect.

Emotional neglect etches deep, unseen imprints on a child's emotional fabric. Our emotional needs in childhood are equally important as our physical ones. They help us construct a healthy sense of self-worth. When these needs are consistently unfulfilled, it can disrupt our emotional development. This disruption often translates into a lingering feeling of being unwanted, insufficient, or inherently flawed.

These invisible scars have a profound influence on the child's self-esteem and perception of self-worth, subtly shaping their personality and their perspective of the world. Though invisible to the naked eye, these scars run deep, influencing every interaction and relationship in their adult life. So, while these wounds may not be visible, their impact is seen and felt in various aspects of the individual's life, often appearing as the unshakeable feeling of emptiness we're discussing here.

The Connection Between Emotional Neglect and Feeling Empty

The lingering sense of emptiness you experience as an adult may be deeply rooted in the emotional neglect you experienced during your childhood years. This persistent emptiness typically stems from not having our emotional needs adequately addressed during critical developmental stages, creating an emotional deficit. Such neglect may lead to difficulty in forging a strong emotional connection with oneself and others, resulting in a pervasive feeling of emptiness. You might feel like you're observing life from the outside looking in, or find yourself often feeling emotionally detached, and struggling to find pleasure or purpose in day-to-day experiences. This internal void, although invisible and often misunderstood, is a significant indicator of unmet emotional needs from childhood, manifesting itself in your adult life. This connection between childhood emotional neglect and the ongoing feeling of emptiness is a critical piece in understanding and addressing the root cause of such distressing emotions.

Signs You Might Have Experienced Childhood Emotional Neglect

Recognizing emotional neglect can be tricky because it’s often about the absence of emotional support and care rather than outright harm. But, there are several indicators you can look for. You may have a hard time identifying or verbalizing your emotions. Do you often feel like you don't fit in or belong, no matter where you are? If you’re overly sensitive to rejection or criticism, this could be a sign.

You might also find yourself with a powerful fear of dependency, finding it hard to rely on others for help or support. You could be wrestling with self-discipline issues or have a penchant for perfectionism. These are all signs that may hint at past emotional neglect. Keep in mind, these signs are not definitive proof but potential markers. If you find yourself identifying with a lot of these signs, it might be beneficial to reach out to a mental health professional for a deeper exploration of your feelings and experiences.

Healing from Childhood Emotional Neglect

The path to recovery from childhood emotional neglect is a voyage of self-understanding and self-love. It commences with acknowledging and coming to terms with your past experiences. The subsequent stage involves cultivating an intimate bond with your own feelings and requirements. This could entail seeking professional guidance, delving into mindfulness practices, cataloging your emotions through journaling, or cultivating habits of self-care. Unraveling the emotional neglect of the past isn't a journey you have to embark on alone. Therapists who specialize in this area can provide invaluable guidance and support.

Self-Care and Emotional Nurturing

One of the most essential components on your journey to healing from childhood emotional neglect is practicing self-care. This goes beyond maintaining your physical well-being with regular exercise and nutritious meals. Yes, taking care of your physical health is vital, but healing from emotional neglect necessitates nurturing your emotional health, as well. Establish and enforce healthy boundaries in relationships to safeguard your emotional space. Cultivate a practice of self-compassion. Be patient with yourself, offering the same grace and kindness you would to a dear friend.

Find joy and comfort in activities that resonate with you, that make your heart sing and your soul feel at peace. Making your emotional well-being a priority isn't selfish; it's necessary. You've spent a lifetime carrying the weight of emotional neglect, it's high time to put it down and nourish your emotional health. Remember, self-care isn't indulgence, it's fundamental to your healing process. Be gentle with yourself. You are worthy of love, care, and kindness.

Reach Out - You're Not Alone

Recognizing that hollow feeling inside you as a sign of childhood emotional neglect is the first crucial step towards healing. Now, the journey towards recovery begins. Remember, you don't have to traverse this path alone. Confide in loved ones, share your experiences, and allow them to offer you support and encouragement. Consider joining a support group; engaging with others who have had similar experiences can be incredibly affirming and healing.

If you're comfortable, seek help from mental health professionals specializing in childhood trauma. They can provide you with effective strategies and techniques to help you understand and overcome the impact of emotional neglect. Reaching out may feel daunting, but the rewards are tremendous. The path to recovery may be long, but you'll find strength, resilience, and healing along the way. You've been carrying the burden of emotional neglect long enough, it's time to lighten the load. Let people in, let them help, and remember, you are deserving of love and care.

Two young boys doing homework at the table and helping with homework

As parents, it's often our first instinct to shield our children from failure. We support them, help them, and often extend our helping hand with their homework to ensure their success. However, the question arises: When is it appropriate to let your children fail? At what age can you stop helping them with homework before it becomes a battle each time? Is it our own insecurities that make us hard on our children? In today's blog post, we'll delve into these delicate issues and explore how the therapy method EMDR can be beneficial in this situation.

The Value of Allowing Children to Fail

Navigating the tumultuous waters of parenthood, it can be heart-wrenching to witness our children grapple with failure. Yet, it's crucial to remember that these moments of defeat are stepping stones on the path to self-improvement and resilience. By experiencing failure, children learn the invaluable art of problem-solving, fortify their resilience, and cultivate a positive attitude towards overcoming obstacles.

While it might feel instinctual to swoop in and save the day during homework crises, doing so can inadvertently strip them of these crucial life-building opportunities. Our intent is not to advocate for a hands-off approach that borders on neglect. Instead, the focus should be on fostering an environment where children feel secure enough to stumble, pick themselves up, learn from their blunders, and move forward with newfound wisdom and self-confidence.

On this journey, it is not the fall that shapes the child but their capacity to rise each time they stumble. As parents, our role morphs from fixers of problems to cheerleaders of resilience, applauding their determination, and celebrating their growth, one homework assignment at a time. As a result, allowing children to experience failure is not a sign of deficient parenting; it's a testament to our commitment to raising individuals who can bravely face challenges and come out stronger.

Finding the Right Balance in Homework Help

Mother helping daughter with homework.

Navigating the homework waters can be a tricky task. It's a part of parenting, a normal routine, but knowing when to reel in the rescue rope can be a bit complex. As children progress through their educational journey, they need to build a sense of self-reliance. Our role gradually needs to transition from homework helper to a facilitator who empowers independent thinking.

This doesn't mean stepping away completely and leaving them in the lurch. You can't just stop helping with homework cold turkey. It's more about fostering an atmosphere of independence, promoting their self-confidence, and honing their problem-solving abilities. For instance, instead of providing outright answers, nudge them towards finding their own solutions. Give them the tools to critically think, explore, and discover. Guide them with constructive questioning or provide directional support without giving away the answers.

Gradually reducing the extent of help provided is also an effective strategy to keep homework from turning into a battleground. This encourages children to take up more accountability for their education, teaching them the crucial skill of responsibility. Eventually, they may feel confident enough for you to stop helping them with their homework!

Remember, this is a journey, not a race. Mistakes will be made, and tasks might take longer to be accomplished. But each step your child takes independently is a significant stride towards confidence, resilience, and problem-solving mastery. This journey will not only prepare them for academic success but equip them for the challenges that life will undoubtedly throw their way.

Uncovering Parental Insecurities

Uncovering parental insecurities is not only critical for the overall emotional health of parents, but it can significantly affect the upbringing of their children. If unaddressed, these insecurities can contribute to parenting styles imbued with high levels of control or anxiety symptoms. Thus, to break this cycle, therapies such as EMDR and counseling for teens, can be beneficial in addressing these insecurities, modifying anxiety symptoms, and promoting healthier parenting styles. In particular, EMDR therapy can help parents reprocess traumatic memories that may fuel their insecurities, whereas counseling for teens may assist in alleviating anxiety symptoms caused by parent-child dynamics. With improved parental awareness and more proactive anxiety treatment, healthier parenting styles can be established for a more harmonious family environment.

For instance, a parent dealing with insecurities originating from a tumultuous childhood may find themselves excessively checking their teenager's homework, seeking control and comfort in their child's academic success. This same teenager, under such persistent scrutiny, may develop stress and anxiety about their school performance.

Through EMDR therapy and counseling for teens, anxiety symptoms can be successfully managed and detrimental parenting styles rectified. This results in a healthier, happier, and more balanced family life for everyone involved.

How EMDR Can Help

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is not only for trauma survivors. In the context of parenting and homework, it can serve as an effective tool for parents. They can confront and manage their anxieties that may be influencing their parenting approach. EMDR can help to reprocess these anxious thoughts, shifting them from a place of fear to a mindset of understanding and empathy. This change can foster a more compassionate and patient parenting style.

On the other side, children who are dealing with the stress of academic pressure may also benefit from EMDR. Homework and academic challenges can sometimes be overwhelming, leading to an increased anxiety level. EMDR can assist in alleviating this distress, allowing them to approach their studies with a calm and composed mindset.

The technique involves the process of bilateral stimulation - typically through eye movements, tactile tapping, or auditory tones - while the individual recalls the stressful event. By doing this, EMDR works to modify the memories or fears associated with it, making them less distressing. For both parents and children, this can lead to a more positive and effective approach to homework. This will reduce the potential for battles and increase the potential for growth.

In essence, EMDR can help create a healthier learning environment by addressing and managing the root cause of academic-related stress and anxiety. By fostering a calm, patient, and understanding atmosphere, both parents and children can navigate the journey of education with increased resilience and confidence.

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How Does Trauma to One Family Member Affect the Entire Family Unit?

When a family member is traumatized it can have a ripple effect on the entire family unit. The nuclear family being parents, partners and siblings will often endure the shock to the system when one member of the family experiences trauma. These family members can either serve to be supports or obstacles to the member of the family that experienced trauma. At their worst the family unit itself can become a system in which the traumatized individual is essentially retraumatized continually based on their families treatment towards them, opinions about them or new role they cast for them after the traumatic experience occurs.

What Does This Look Like When a Child is the Victim of Trauma?

A man with his children.

Children are incredibly resilient beings and can overcome trauma or have the effects significantly minimized by having supportive, empowering and understanding parents. When the parents' response to the traumatic situation is negative it can be more traumatized to the child then the direct trauma exposure.

For example, if a teenage girl is raped by a stranger and the parents belittel and blame the teenager for “being stupid”, not “knowing better”, dressing a certain way or being in a certain place- this inevitably leaves that child feeling like they are to blame for what happened to them and something is inherently wrong with them to have caused such a thing to occur. This can leave that teenage girl feeling hopeless, lost, unsupported and very alone.

If she then begins to act out and becomes promiscuous, or her grades drop because she has PTSD and cannot focus as well, or become irritable and has more outbursts towards the parents, the child again will likely be blamed for their behavior. All of her cries for support, her showing she is struggling will only continue to serve the narrative that that child is inherently bad, defective, and unlovable. The parents' reaction to her only continues to show her the world is unsafe, unsupportive, and people in general are not to be counted on or trusted. 

Consequences of When it is Not Discussed

Well meaning parents who struggle to cope with what happened to their child may shy away from conversations about how it’s affecting the child and carry on as if nothing happened- minimizing the effects of what happened to that child. This can foster children feeling all those same feelings, unloved, unsupported but also fosters this idea that “it’s in my head”, “it wasn’t that bad” or “I have no reason to still be upset/sad/angry” causing them to bury their shame, guilt and fears as it is not welcomed to discuss in the household. 

In both cases, parents' own trauma may account for their responses. A parent may be too triggered by that child’s sexual abuse to listen to them discuss it causing scenario 2. Alternatively, the parent could have their own history of sexual assault and blame themselves so they project their anger and blame on the child as they never fully coped with what happened to them. Furthermore, a parent’s lack of experience dealing with trauma themselves can cause them to feel inadequate in supporting their child in coping with trauma.

What Effect Can a Traumatized Parent Have on Their Children?

Parents fighting in front of their daughter.

There are two main ways that children are affected when a parent is traumatized:

  1. Witnessing a parent’s trauma.
  2. Experiencing posttraumatic symptoms of the parent.

1. Witnessing a Parents Trauma

Witnessing could be through a child witnessing domestic violence or sexual assault of their parent. Children who witness a parent’s trauma may feel fearful and anxious. They may always be on guard, wondering when the next violent event will happen, waiting for the next shoe to drop. This can be seen in different behaviors depending on the child’s age.

Family Trauma Signs in Children under 5:

Signs in Elementary School Children:

Signs in Teens:

It is important to note that there is a distinction between common behaviors for girls and boys- though this does not mean it cannot present in the opposite way. Boys are more likely to engage in oppositional, aggressive, and what we would generally call “acting-out” activities. Girls are more likely to “act-inward” and thus struggle with low-self esteem, depression, self-harming, and socially isolative behaviors.

2. Experiencing posttraumatic symptoms of the parent

person sitting on a couch crying

When individuals struggle with PTSD they can have a range of symptoms that have an effect on their children and spouse. The 2 most common that affect the family unit are: re-experiencing symptoms and avoidance and numbing symptoms. 

Re-Experiencing Symptoms:

PTSD can cause flashbacks and/or nightmares which are what we call re-experiencing symptoms. These symptoms can occur quickly and seemingly to bystanders as “out of nowhere”. They usually bring with them strong feelings and emotions of guilt, shame, anger, grief or fear. For some individuals the flashbacks can be so severe they feel as if the memory is occurring in real time. To children and partners this can be quite scary. The parent’s behavior is unpredictable. They may not understand why the family member is acting this way or what caused it. It can cause children to worry about that parent, feeling that their parent is too fragile to take care of them. For a partner it can put them in a caregiver role and make them feel hopeless about how to get their partner back to who they were before the trauma. 

Avoidance and Numbing Symptoms:

It is common for anyone experiencing PTSD to try to avoid trauma reminders and/or triggers. This may cause them to avoid people, places and things that remind them of their trauma. It can also cause them difficulty in experiencing joy and pleasure in things they used to love. Leaving that family member to feel detached or cut-off from their partner and children. Avoidance and Numbing can leave partners and children feeling unloved, unsupported and unimportant. They may be hesitant to go to family events, holidays, kids games and struggle to connect with and engage with their loved ones like they used to. 

Because the re-experiencing symptoms are so upsetting, people with PTSD try not to think about the event. If you have PTSD, you may also try to avoid places and things that remind you of the trauma. Or you may not feel like doing things that used to be fun, like going to the movies or your child's event. It can also be hard for people with PTSD to have good feelings. You may feel "cut off" from family and children. As a result, children may feel that the parent with PTSD does not care about them.

How Does Trauma of One Sibling Effects the Other Siblings?

In my work, I have seen children whose siblings have experienced trauma struggle with many of the same trauma reactions and negative core beliefs. This is often due to parents focusing on trying to help the traumatized child and thus the sibling feeling neglected or pushed aside and unsupported. These children then tend to have a lot of the same acting-out or acting-in behaviors we described above. Many of them struggle with core beliefs of “I am responsible” “I have to be in control”; “I am unimportant/unlovable/defective”. This also occurs in children who are terrified of what happened to their sibling, happening to them or anyone else they love. This can make a child chronically anxious and fearful of the world.

Where to Start if You're Struggling With Family Trauma

Mother and daughter embracing.

If this is all feeling a bit “close to home” you may want to reach out for support for yourself and your loved ones. Therapy will focus not just on the individual who has experienced trauma but also incorporate family sessions so that we work though any re-traumatizing interactions that are occurring within the family system. Here at Long Island EMDR we are all perfectly imperfect humans who have been through our own “stuff”. We will not judge you, what happened or the aftermath. Our goal is to help you and your family work through what has happened so that you can feel and be the close, loving supportive happy family that you once were or that you long to be. No judgment. Just support and encouragement.

What Therapy Will Look Like for Family Trauma:

Our assessments will focus on both individual and interpersonal consequences of the trauma, including parent-child interactions, discipline, communication and other areas of family functioning. Depending on your family situation, we may recommend individual sessions for multiple family members who are being affected by the aftermath of the trauma, in conjunction with family sessions to work on the interpersonal relationships when everyone is ready. As always our approach will be tailored to each unique family and individual. We have a range of therapists and modalities, including: EMDR, TF-CBT, art therapy, bereavement counseling and couples counseling, to ensure that each family and family member has an approach that works for them.

Person reflecting on his life in nature. Learn how to take better care of yourself. Find PTSD treatment near Oakdale, NY.

Have you ever wondered how childhood trauma impacts adolescents or adults? Do you find yourself asking yourself how much your childhood has a impact on your relationships today? Childhood experiences, both positive and negative, have major impact on our emotional development and how we continue to interact in the relationships around us. 

Childhood is where our attachment styles are developed and our parents are our primary attachment figures. The way they respond to us in childhood shapes our worldview, or perception of the world, and how we expect others to respond, relate and interact with us. This is the foundation of whether or not a child will feel the world is safe and whether or not those around them will accept them.

Erikson called this our view of “trust or mistrust”. Is it a safe place to venture out and take emotional risks? Are all people generally good or are they out to hurt us and therefore untrustworthy? Can we trust others to support us in times of emotional need or crisis or do I need to rely on myself?

Complex trauma refers to the prolonged exposure to a stressful event, or repeated traumatic events layered on top of another. This would include children, who have grown up in physically, sexually, and/or emotionally absent or abusive households, as well as children who grew up in unsafe communities, an incarnated parent or a parent with mental health or substance use concerns.

How Childhood Trauma Continues to Effect us into Adulthood

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Without the safety net of a secure attachment relationship, children experiencing childhood trauma grow up to become adults who struggle with poor self-esteem and difficulty with emotional regulation. They continue the unhealthy relationship patterns of their childhood with partners, friends and family members. These adults also have an increased risk of developing depression and anxiety.

The following are the four basic attachment styles. Please keep in mind that these descriptions are very general; not everyone will have all these characteristics. Attachment styles are relatively fluid and can be ever-changing depending on your partner’s own attachment style and the adaptations you make as you grow and learn.

Secure Attachment in Adults

These individuals usually grew up in a supportive environment where parents consistently responded to their needs. Securely attached individuals feel comfortable in their own skin, easily share feelings with partners and friends and seek out social support. These individuals have a generally positive outlook on life and seek physical and/or emotional intimacy with minimal fear of being rejected or overwhelmed.

Securely attached individuals, much like their parents were to them, are generally consistent and reliable in their behaviors toward their partner. They also tend to include their partner in decisions that could affect their relationship or life goals. 

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment in Adults

Children develop this attachment style when their primary caregivers are not emotionally responsive or are rejecting of their needs.

Children learn to pull away emotionally and be overly self-reliant, as means to avoid feelings of rejection. As adults, they become uncomfortable with emotional openness and downplay the importance of relationships.

These adults tend to place a high priority on their own independence from others and tend to be extremely self-reliant. They develop techniques to reduce feelings of being overwhelmed and defend themselves from perceived threats to their “independence.”

These techniques include, shutting down, sending mixed messages, and avoiding. These coping techniques end up becoming detrimental to their adult relationships.

Fearful-Avoidant Attachment in Adults

Children who have developed this style of attachment may have been exposed to prolonged abuse and/or neglect. Their primary caregivers are a source of hurt, rather than fulfilling their vital role of providing support and comfort. 

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These children grow up to become adults who depend on others but avoid intimacy in their relationships due to fear of rejection. As adults they have lower self-esteem and high anxiety in relationships. 

As adults they see the value in having close relationships but due to the abuse they received have a difficult time trusting others. Due to this distrust, they avoid being emotionally vulnerable with others and have difficulty clearly expressing their wants and needs, as they fear it will lead to more hurt and rejection.

Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment in Adults:

Children with anxious-preoccupied attachment had caregivers who did not consistently meet their needs, as in their responses to the child were not consistent or predictable. Their parents were nurturing, caring and attentive at times but this was alternated with cold, rejecting or emotionally detached behaviors. 

This alternation between love and rejection makes it difficult for a child to know what to expect from day to day. These children then grow up to be adults who require a lot of connection, closeness and attention within their relationships, sometimes to the point of being “clingy.”

Individuals who have this attachment style may need more validation and approval from loved ones than the other attachment styles.

Neurobiology of Attachment and Childhood Trauma

Neuro pathways and brain function. Repair neuro pathways with EMDR therapy in Bethpage, NY.

As products of our own environments, adults will often find themselves repeating the same behaviors witnessed and experienced in childhood. This is because the neural pathways developed from childhood traumatic experiences shape keep us stuck in these unhealthy patterns and ways of relating.

As products of our own environments, adults will often find themselves repeating the same behaviors witnessed and experienced in childhood. This is because the neural pathways developed from childhood traumatic experiences shape keep us stuck in these unhealthy patterns and ways of relating.

To say all of this is not meant to place blame on caregivers for the types of relationships formed in your adult life. However, increasing awareness of your own attachment style can help you take those first steps towards recognizing patterns and improving your relationships as an adult. With newfound awareness you can move to form securely attached relationships with your partner and with your own children. 

Processing those difficult childhood memories of abuse and neglect can help you to make new neural connections with more adaptive experiences in your life and thus alter that inner-voice that keeps your stuck in poor patterns of behavior. 

Where to go From Here?

At Long Island EMDR, we understand how complex childhood trauma affects you as an adult, which is why we specialize in EMDR and trauma-focused therapies. We are here to help guide and support you through your journey of processing past hurts and forming healthier connections.

Keep Shining,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW 

Parenting is a challenging journey on its own, but it can become even more difficult when the parent has ADHD. The constant struggle to stay organized, focused, and on top of responsibilities can take a toll on both the parent and their child. However, there is hope. EMDR therapy, a unique and effective form of therapy, has shown promising results in helping parents with ADHD better manage their symptoms and become more confident and capable in their role as a parent. In this blog post, we will explore the struggles of parenting with ADHD and how EMDR therapy can be a valuable tool in navigating this challenge.

Understanding ADHD in Parents

Parenting is a challenging journey that requires patience, focus, and organization. But what happens when the parent themselves has ADHD? Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, or ADHD, is a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects both children and adults. It is characterized by difficulties in maintaining attention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. When a parent has ADHD, it can add an extra layer of complexity to the already demanding role of being a caregiver.

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Understanding ADHD in parents is crucial in order to navigate this unique challenge. For parents with ADHD, the struggle to stay organized and focused can make even the simplest tasks feel overwhelming. Time management becomes a constant battle, leading to feelings of frustration and guilt. The ability to juggle multiple responsibilities can become incredibly challenging, leaving parents feeling overwhelmed and inadequate.

Additionally, ADHD can also impact a parent's ability to provide structure and consistency for their child. The lack of organization and planning can lead to inconsistency in parenting styles, which can be confusing for the child and create additional challenges in their development.

It's important to recognize that ADHD is a real and valid condition that requires understanding and support. By acknowledging and addressing the specific challenges that parents with ADHD face, we can begin to develop strategies and interventions that can help alleviate some of the burdens they face. In the next section, we will explore the struggles of parenting with ADHD in more detail, shedding light on the daily obstacles that parents with ADHD must overcome.

Struggles of Parenting with ADHD

Parenting is already a challenging task, but when a parent has ADHD, it can become even more overwhelming. The daily struggles of managing ADHD symptoms while also trying to meet the needs of your child can take a toll on both the parent and the child.

One of the main struggles for parents with ADHD is the difficulty in staying organized and focused. Simple tasks that seem easy for others can feel insurmountable for someone with ADHD. Time management becomes a constant battle, and feelings of frustration and guilt can easily arise. Juggling multiple responsibilities can be incredibly challenging, leaving parents feeling on edge and not good enough.

ADHD can also affect a parent's ability to provide structure and consistency for their child. The lack of organization and planning can lead to inconsistency in parenting styles, which can be confusing and unsettling for the child. This can create additional challenges in their development and may cause the child to struggle with routine and expectations.

Furthermore, the impulsivity that often accompanies ADHD can also be a struggle for parents. Impulsive reactions and decision-making can lead to unintended consequences and can make it difficult to maintain a calm and controlled environment for the child.

Overall, parenting with ADHD is a daily battle. However, it's important to remember that you are not alone. There are strategies and interventions available to help parents with ADHD navigate these challenges and become more confident and capable caregivers. In the next sections, we will explore the benefits of EMDR therapy, how it works, and finding a therapist to guide you through this unique form of therapy.

Benefits of EMDR Therapy for Parents with ADHD

EMDR therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, has shown promising benefits for parents with ADHD. This unique form of therapy can help alleviate the struggles that come with parenting while managing ADHD symptoms. Here are some of the benefits of EMDR therapy for parents with ADHD:

1. Reduction of ADHD symptoms: EMDR therapy has been found to be effective in reducing the symptoms of ADHD, such as difficulties with attention, focus, and impulsivity. Through targeted eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation, EMDR therapy helps reprocess traumatic memories and negative beliefs that may contribute to ADHD symptoms.

2. Improved executive functioning: EMDR therapy can enhance executive functioning skills, such as organization, planning, and time management. By addressing underlying emotional issues and working through past traumas, parents can develop new coping strategies and improve their ability to stay organized and focused.

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3. Enhanced self-confidence: Many parents with ADHD struggle with feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. EMDR therapy can help parents develop a more positive self-image and improve their self-confidence as a parent. By reprocessing negative experiences and beliefs, parents can gain a greater sense of their strengths and abilities.

4. Improved parent-child relationship: EMDR therapy can also benefit the parent-child relationship. By addressing and resolving emotional issues that may contribute to parenting challenges, parents can develop healthier and more secure attachments with their children. This can lead to improved communication, trust, and overall family dynamics.

5. Long-lasting results: EMDR therapy has been found to have long-lasting effects. Many parents report continued improvements in their ADHD symptoms and parenting abilities even after therapy has ended. This means that the benefits of EMDR therapy can extend beyond the therapy sessions and have a positive impact on parenting in the long term.

How EMDR Therapy Works

EMDR therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, is a unique and effective form of therapy that has shown promising results in helping parents with ADHD. But how exactly does EMDR therapy work?

EMDR therapy is based on the understanding that traumatic or distressing experiences can get stuck in our brains, causing negative beliefs and emotional distress. These unresolved experiences can contribute to ADHD symptoms and difficulties in parenting. EMDR therapy works by targeting and reprocessing these traumatic memories, allowing the brain to process them more healthily.

During an EMDR therapy session, the therapist will guide the parent through a series of eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation. This bilateral stimulation helps stimulate the brain's natural ability to heal and reprocess traumatic memories. As the parent follows the therapist's hand movements or listens to sounds alternating in each ear, the brain's attention is split, allowing the distressing memories to be processed more effectively.

As the parent reprocesses these traumatic memories, they can experience a reduction in ADHD symptoms and an improvement in executive functioning. Negative beliefs about themselves as parents can be challenged and replaced with more positive and empowering beliefs. This leads to improved self-confidence and a stronger parent-child relationship.

EMDR therapy is a collaborative process, with the therapist providing a safe and supportive environment for the parent to explore their experiences and emotions. Each session builds on the progress made in the previous session, allowing for a gradual healing process.

Finding a Therapist for EMDR Therapy

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Finding a qualified therapist who specializes in EMDR therapy can greatly benefit those managing ADHD symptoms and navigating the challenges of parenting. To find the right therapist for you, follow these tips:

1. Research online: Begin by searching online directories and therapist listings in your area. Look for therapists who specialize in EMDR therapy, have experience working with individuals with ADHD, and possess relevant credentials and experience. Read any reviews or testimonials from previous clients. The EMDR International Association website is a good start!

2. Seek recommendations: Reach out to your personal network for recommendations. Ask friends, family members, or support groups who have undergone EMDR therapy or know someone who has for their experiences. This can provide valuable insights and help you find a therapist who suits your needs.

3. Consult with professionals: Consider seeking recommendations from mental health professionals, such as psychologists or psychiatrists, who specialize in ADHD or trauma. They may be familiar with therapists who utilize EMDR therapy and can provide referrals.

4. Take advantage of consultation sessions: Many therapists offer free consultation sessions or phone calls to discuss their approach and answer any questions you may have. This can give you a better sense of the therapist and whether they are a good fit for you.

5. Trust your instincts: It is important to trust your instincts when choosing a therapist. Find someone you feel comfortable with and can build a strong therapeutic relationship with. Don't be afraid to ask questions and voice any concerns you may have during the consultation process.

Remember that finding the right therapist is a personal and individual process. Take your time, do your research, and trust that you will find the right therapist who can support you in managing your ADHD symptoms through EMDR therapy.

Other Resources and Coping Strategies for Parenting with ADHD

Parenting with ADHD can be a daily battle, but there are resources and coping strategies that can help alleviate some of the challenges and help you feel better connected with your family. Here are a few additional resources and strategies to consider:

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1. Support groups: Connecting with other parents who also have ADHD can provide a sense of community and understanding. Support groups can offer valuable advice, tips, and a safe space to share experiences and frustrations. Look for local support groups or online communities specifically for parents with ADHD.

2. Parenting classes or workshops: Many organizations offer parenting classes or workshops specifically tailored to parents with ADHD. These classes can provide valuable strategies and techniques for managing ADHD symptoms while still being an effective parent. Check with local community centers, mental health clinics, or online resources for upcoming classes or workshops.

3. Time management tools: Utilize tools and apps that can help with time management and organization. There are various apps available that can assist with setting reminders, creating schedules, and breaking tasks into manageable chunks. Experiment with different tools to find the ones that work best for you and your family.

4. Prioritize self-care: Taking care of yourself is essential when parenting with ADHD. Make time for self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or engaging in hobbies that bring you joy. Remember, when you prioritize your well-being, you are better able to show up for your child.

5. Seek professional help: In addition to EMDR therapy, consider other therapeutic interventions that may benefit parents with ADHD. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and medication management can also be effective treatments for managing ADHD symptoms. Consult with a mental health professional who specializes in ADHD to explore the best treatment options for you.

Remember, managing ADHD as a parent is an ongoing journey. It's essential to be patient with yourself, practice self-compassion, and celebrate your successes along the way. With the right resources and coping strategies, you can navigate the challenges of parenting with ADHD and thrive in your role as a loving and capable caregiver.

As parents, we often see ourselves in our children - the good and the bad. It can be heartwarming to see our positive traits reflected in our little ones, but it can also be difficult and even painful to see our flaws mirrored in them. This phenomenon can be attributed to a variety of factors, including genetics and learned behavior. However, our children can also serve as mirrors for our unresolved issues and traumas. This is why therapy can be a valuable tool for both parents and children to work through their own struggles and create a healthier dynamic within the family.

The Importance of Identifying Negative Behaviors

Identifying negative behaviors in ourselves and our children is crucial for creating a healthy and positive family dynamic. When we can recognize these behaviors, we have the opportunity to address them and work toward change. Not only does this benefit our children, but it also allows us to grow as individuals and break free from harmful patterns.

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By identifying negative behaviors, we can prevent them from being passed down from generation to generation. This self-awareness gives us the power to stop the cycle and create a more nurturing environment for our children. It also allows us to model healthier behaviors, teaching our children important life skills.

Additionally, identifying negative behaviors helps us understand the underlying issues that may be contributing to these behaviors. It allows us to explore our own traumas and unresolved issues, so we can heal and move forward.

Overall, recognizing and addressing negative behaviors is a crucial step toward creating a loving and supportive family environment. It sets the foundation for personal growth, improved relationships, and a happier future for everyone involved.

Understanding Normal Childhood Development and Behavior Patterns

Understanding normal childhood development and behavior patterns is essential for parents to effectively navigate their child's growth and development. It helps us distinguish between behaviors that are part of a normal developmental process and those that may be a reflection of our own negative behavior patterns. By having this knowledge, parents can better respond to their child's needs and promote their overall well-being.

During childhood, children go through various stages of development, both physically and emotionally. These stages include milestones such as learning to walk, talk, and form relationships. Each child develops at their own pace, and it's important for parents to be aware of these variations.

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Understanding normal childhood behavior patterns allows us to differentiate between typical behavior and potential signs of distress or concern. For example, temper tantrums and mood swings are common in young children, but persistent aggression or withdrawal may indicate underlying issues that require further attention.

By familiarizing ourselves with normal childhood development and behavior patterns, we can better support our children in reaching their full potential. It also enables us to identify when additional support or intervention may be necessary. Through this understanding, we can create a nurturing environment that fosters growth, resilience, and emotional well-being for our children.

Recognizing Our Own Negative Behavior Patterns Reflected in Our Children

It can be a startling and eye-opening experience when we see our own negative behavior patterns reflected in our children. As parents, we often strive to be the best role models for our kids, but sometimes our own unresolved issues and traumas can unintentionally manifest in our behavior towards them. It's essential to recognize these patterns in order to break the cycle and create a healthier family dynamic.

When we see our negative behavior patterns in our children, it's important not to beat ourselves up or feel guilty. Instead, we should view it as an opportunity for growth and self-reflection. By acknowledging these patterns, we can begin to understand the underlying issues that may be contributing to them. This self-awareness allows us to address our own struggles and work towards healing and personal growth.

Recognizing our own negative behavior patterns in our children also provides an opportunity to model healthier behaviors. We can teach our kids important life skills such as emotional regulation, effective communication, and problem-solving. By being open and honest about our own challenges, we create a safe and supportive environment for our children to express themselves and navigate their own emotions.

Remember, it's never too late to make positive changes and break negative behavior cycles. By recognizing and addressing our own negative behavior patterns, we can create a loving and nurturing environment where our children can thrive and grow into resilient individuals.

Why Communicating Better is Easier Said Than Done

Effective communication is often easier said than done, especially within the family dynamic. Many factors contribute to the challenges we face when trying to communicate better with our children. One major factor is the emotional baggage and unresolved issues we carry from our past. These can hinder our ability to express ourselves openly and honestly, leading to miscommunication and misunderstandings.

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Additionally, communication styles and patterns can be deeply ingrained within us. We may have learned ineffective ways of expressing ourselves or coping with conflicts from our parents or previous relationships. Breaking these patterns and adopting new, healthier communication habits takes time and effort.

Furthermore, stress and daily pressures can take a toll on our communication skills. When we're overwhelmed, it's easy to fall into reactive behaviors rather than responding calmly and empathetically to our children.

But don't worry, improving communication is absolutely possible! It starts with self-awareness and recognizing our own communication challenges. By prioritizing active listening, open dialogue, and practicing effective conflict resolution skills, we can create an environment where communication flows more smoothly. Seeking support from therapists or family counselors can also be immensely helpful in improving communication within the family.

Remember, improving communication takes time and patience. Celebrate the small victories and keep working towards open and effective communication, knowing that your efforts will ultimately strengthen the bond with your children and create a harmonious family dynamic.

The Role of Self-Awareness and Accountability in Positive Parenting

Self-awareness and accountability play crucial roles in positive parenting. When we become aware of our own flaws and negative behavior patterns, we have the power to make positive changes and break the cycle. By taking responsibility for our actions and choices, we model accountability to our children, teaching them the importance of self-reflection and personal growth.

Self-awareness allows us to recognize when our emotions and unresolved issues are influencing our interactions with our children. It helps us pause, reflect, and respond rather than react impulsively. By being aware of our triggers and emotional baggage, we can better understand how they impact our parenting style and make conscious efforts to address them.

Accountability involves taking ownership of our mistakes and making amends when necessary. It teaches our children that everyone makes errors, but what matters is how we take responsibility and learn from them. By modeling accountability, we create a safe and supportive environment where our children feel comfortable acknowledging their own mistakes and growing from them.

In order to cultivate self-awareness and accountability, it's important to practice self-reflection, seek support from therapists or parenting classes, and regularly assess our own behavior and its impact on our children. Remember, positive parenting is a journey, and embracing self-awareness and accountability is a powerful step toward creating a loving and nurturing family dynamic.

Strategies for Breaking Negative Behavior Cycles

Breaking negative behavior cycles can be a challenging but worthwhile endeavor. Here are some strategies to help you on your journey:

1. Self-reflection: Take the time to reflect on your behavior and identify the negative patterns you want to break. Understand the triggers that lead to these behaviors and explore the underlying emotions and experiences that contribute to them.

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2. Seek support: Reach out to therapists, parenting classes, or support groups that can provide guidance and tools for breaking negative behavior cycles. Professional guidance can be immensely helpful in gaining new insights and strategies.

3. Set clear boundaries: Establish clear and consistent boundaries with your children. Clearly communicate expectations and consequences, and be firm yet loving in enforcing them. Consistency and clarity provide a sense of security for children and help break negative behavior cycles. Gentle or positive parenting does not mean no boundaries or consequences!

4. Practice positive discipline: Instead of resorting to punitive measures, focus on positive discipline techniques that promote learning and growth. Use praise and rewards to reinforce desired behaviors and provide guidance and redirection for negative behaviors.

5. Model healthy behavior: Be a role model for your children by exhibiting the behavior you want to see in them. Show empathy, effective communication, and problem-solving skills. Let them see you making mistakes and taking responsibility for them, emphasizing the importance of self-reflection and personal growth.

Remember, breaking negative behavior cycles takes time and patience. Be kind to yourself and your children throughout the process. Celebrate small victories, seek support when needed, and embrace the journey of creating a healthier and happier family dynamic.

With love,
Kristy Casper, LCSW


Do you have a child struggling with test anxiety? If so, you’re not alone. Test anxiety can be debilitating and is a common problem among school aged children. Fortunately, there is a treatment for test anxiety that can help your child transform their test results - EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). EMDR is an evidence-based treatment for test anxiety that can quickly and effectively reduce feelings of panic and fear associated with exams. EMDR treatment for test anxiety offers parents, teachers and tutors a powerful tool to help their child overcome test anxiety and reach their full potential. With the help of EMDR intensives, your child can fast track their results and improve their test performance.

Understanding Test Anxiety and its Impact on Academic Performance

test anxiety emdr

Test anxiety is a common problem among school-aged children and can have a significant impact on their academic performance. When a child experiences test anxiety, their stress levels rise, and they may feel a sense of panic or fear leading up to and during exams. This anxiety can make it difficult for them to concentrate, remember information, and perform to the best of their abilities.



The impact of test anxiety on academic performance is multi-faceted. It not only affects a child's ability to recall information but also hinders their problem-solving skills and critical thinking abilities. When children are anxious, they may struggle to think clearly and make decisions effectively, resulting in poor test performance. Furthermore, test anxiety can lead to a lack of confidence in their abilities, which can further hinder their academic performance.
Test anxiety can also have long-term effects on a child's academic success. If left untreated, it can become a recurring issue, leading to a cycle of poor test performance, increased anxiety, and decreased motivation. This cycle can ultimately have a detrimental impact on a child's self-esteem and overall academic achievement.
It is essential for parents, teachers, and tutors to recognize the signs of test anxiety in children and take proactive steps to address it. By understanding the impact of test anxiety on academic performance, they can provide the necessary support and guidance to help their child overcome this challenge.
In the next sections of this blog post, we will explore the signs of test anxiety in children, traditional treatments for test anxiety, and introduce a highly effective treatment option - Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. By gaining a comprehensive understanding of test anxiety and its impact, you can equip yourself with the knowledge and tools to help your child overcome test anxiety and achieve their full potential.

Signs of Test Anxiety in Children


Test anxiety can manifest in different ways in children. It is important for parents, teachers, and tutors to recognize the signs and symptoms of test anxiety in order to provide the necessary support and intervention. Here are some common signs of test anxiety in children to watch out for:

  1. Physical symptoms: Children experiencing test anxiety may exhibit physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches, rapid heartbeat, sweating, or even feeling lightheaded. These physical manifestations are a result of the stress and fear they experience before and during exams.
  2. Emotional distress: Children with test anxiety may become visibly anxious or agitated leading up to exams. They may experience feelings of irritability, restlessness, or even sadness. It is not uncommon for children to cry or have difficulty sleeping the night before a test.
  3. Avoidance behaviors: Some children with test anxiety may go to great lengths to avoid exams or situations that trigger their anxiety. They may try to skip school on test days, feign illness, or make excuses to avoid taking exams. These avoidance behaviors are their way of coping with the anxiety they feel.
  4. Negative self-talk: Children with test anxiety may have negative thoughts and beliefs about their abilities and performance. They may express self-doubt or say things like, "I'm stupid," or "I'll never do well on this test." These negative self-perceptions can further contribute to their anxiety and impact their test performance.
  5. Perfectionism: Children with test anxiety often hold themselves to extremely high standards and have a fear of failure. They may strive for perfection in their schoolwork and become overly stressed if they make even minor mistakes. This perfectionism can create additional pressure and anxiety during exams.
  6. Difficulty concentrating: Test anxiety can impair a child's ability to focus and concentrate on the test material. They may have difficulty paying attention or staying focused during the exam, leading to mistakes or missed questions.
    Recognizing these signs of test anxiety in children is the first step towards helping them overcome this challenge. By being aware of these symptoms, parents, teachers, and tutors can provide the necessary support and guidance to help children manage their anxiety and perform to their full potential on exams.

Traditional Treatments for Test Anxiety

emdr for test anxiety

Traditional treatments for test anxiety often focus on strategies to manage stress and improve test-taking skills. These treatments aim to help children develop coping mechanisms and build confidence in their abilities. While these methods can be helpful for some children, they may not be effective for everyone. It's important to explore alternative treatments, such as EMDR therapy, to provide the best possible support for your child.



One traditional treatment for test anxiety is cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps children identify and challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about exams. By replacing these negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones, children can reduce their anxiety and improve their test performance. CBT also teaches children relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and visualization, to manage stress during exams.
Another traditional treatment for test anxiety is gradual exposure therapy. This involves slowly exposing children to test-like situations, starting with less stressful scenarios and gradually working up to full exams. By gradually increasing the difficulty level, children can become desensitized to the anxiety-provoking aspects of tests and develop confidence in their ability to handle them.
Furthermore, some children benefit from working with a tutor or academic coach who can provide targeted support in areas where they struggle. Tutors can help children develop effective study strategies, improve their time management skills, and build confidence in their knowledge and abilities.
While these traditional treatments can be helpful, they may not address the underlying causes of test anxiety. This is where EMDR therapy can offer a unique and powerful solution. EMDR therapy focuses on processing past traumatic experiences and their associated negative beliefs and emotions. By targeting the root causes of test anxiety, EMDR therapy can provide long-lasting relief from anxiety and improve overall well-being.

What is EMDR Therapy?


EMDR therapy, also known as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, is a highly effective treatment option for individuals struggling with test anxiety. Developed by psychologist Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s, EMDR therapy has gained recognition as an evidence-based treatment for a variety of mental health conditions, including anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and phobias.
So, what exactly is EMDR therapy? EMDR therapy is a comprehensive and integrative approach that combines elements of different psychotherapeutic modalities. It incorporates techniques from cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, and bilateral stimulation to help individuals process and reframe traumatic or distressing experiences that contribute to their test anxiety.
The therapy works by targeting the root causes of test anxiety, such as past traumatic events or negative beliefs about exams. During an EMDR session, the individual is asked to recall the distressing event or negative belief while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation. This bilateral stimulation can be achieved through eye movements, tapping, or auditory tones.
The bilateral stimulation activates both hemispheres of the brain, allowing the individual to process the distressing memory or belief in a more adaptive and less emotionally charged way. This helps to reprocess the negative emotions associated with the memory or belief and replace them with more positive and realistic thoughts.
EMDR therapy is highly individualized, meaning that each session is tailored to the specific needs and experiences of the individual. The therapist works closely with the individual to identify the core memories or beliefs that contribute to their test anxiety and collaboratively develop a treatment plan.
Research has consistently shown that EMDR therapy can significantly reduce test anxiety symptoms and improve overall well-being. Many individuals report feeling a sense of relief, increased self-confidence, and improved test performance after completing EMDR therapy.
If you are considering EMDR therapy for your child's test anxiety, it is important to find a qualified and experienced EMDR therapist. Look for therapists who are trained and certified in EMDR therapy and have experience working with children. It is also essential to establish a good rapport with the therapist and ensure that your child feels comfortable and safe throughout the treatment process.
In the next section of this blog post, we will explore how EMDR therapy can specifically help individuals overcome test anxiety and improve their test performance. Stay tuned to learn more about the transformative effects of EMDR therapy on test anxiety.

How EMDR Can Help Overcome Test Anxiety


Test anxiety can be a significant obstacle for many children when it comes to their academic performance. Fortunately, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy offers a powerful solution for overcoming test anxiety and achieving success in exams.
EMDR therapy is specifically designed to target the root causes of test anxiety, such as past traumatic experiences or negative beliefs about exams. By engaging in bilateral stimulation while recalling distressing memories or beliefs, individuals can reprocess these experiences in a more adaptive and less emotionally charged way. This helps to alleviate the negative emotions associated with test anxiety and replace them with more positive and realistic thoughts.
One of the key benefits of EMDR therapy is its individualized approach. Each session is tailored to the specific needs and experiences of the individual, ensuring that they receive the most effective treatment for their test anxiety. Through collaborative work with a trained and experienced EMDR therapist, children can explore and address the underlying causes of their test anxiety, leading to lasting relief and improved well-being.
Research has consistently shown that EMDR therapy can significantly reduce test anxiety symptoms and enhance test performance. Many individuals report feeling a sense of relief, increased self-confidence, and improved concentration during exams after undergoing EMDR therapy.
The transformative effects of EMDR therapy on test anxiety are undeniable. By addressing the root causes of test anxiety and reprocessing negative beliefs and emotions, children can overcome their fear and panic associated with exams. This enables them to approach tests with greater confidence, clarity, and focus, ultimately leading to improved test results and academic performance.
If you're considering EMDR therapy for your child's test anxiety, it's important to find a qualified and experienced EMDR therapist. Look for therapists who are trained and certified in EMDR therapy, with specific experience in working with children. Building a strong rapport with the therapist and ensuring your child feels comfortable and safe throughout the treatment process is essential for a successful outcome.
EMDR therapy provides a unique and highly effective solution for children struggling with test anxiety. By addressing the underlying causes of their anxiety and reprocessing negative beliefs and emotions, EMDR therapy can help children overcome their fear and achieve their full potential in exams. With the power of EMDR, your child can transform their test results and excel academically.

How to Choose an EMDR Therapist for Your Child


When it comes to choosing an EMDR therapist for your child, it is important to find someone who is qualified, experienced, and specializes in working with children. EMDR therapy can be a highly effective treatment for test anxiety, but finding the right therapist is key to ensuring its success.
One of the first things you can do is to ask for recommendations. Reach out to your child's school counselor, pediatrician, or other mental health professionals in your area. They may be able to provide you with a list of EMDR therapists who have experience working with children and treating test anxiety.
Once you have a list of potential therapists, take the time to do some research. Look for information about their training, certification, and experience in using EMDR therapy. You want to ensure that the therapist you choose has the necessary credentials and expertise to effectively treat your child's test anxiety.
It is also important to consider the therapist's approach and philosophy. EMDR therapy is a highly individualized treatment, and each therapist may have their own unique style and techniques. Schedule a consultation or initial appointment with the therapist to discuss their approach and see if it aligns with your child's needs and preferences.
During the consultation, ask questions about the therapist's experience working with children, particularly those with test anxiety. Inquire about their success rates and what specific strategies or techniques they use to address test anxiety. It can also be helpful to inquire about their availability and scheduling options to ensure that it fits with your child's academic schedule.
Lastly, trust your instincts and your child's instincts. It is essential for your child to feel comfortable and safe with the therapist. They should feel heard, understood, and supported throughout the treatment process. If you or your child have any reservations or concerns, it may be best to continue your search for a therapist who feels like the right fit.
Choosing the right EMDR therapist for your child is an important decision that can significantly impact their experience and outcomes. By doing your research, asking the right questions, and following your instincts, you can find a qualified and experienced EMDR therapist who can help your child overcome test anxiety and reach their full potential.

EMDR Intensives and their Benefits


EMDR intensives are a specialized form of EMDR therapy that offers a unique set of benefits for children struggling with test anxiety. Unlike traditional weekly therapy sessions, EMDR intensives involve concentrated and extended treatment over a shorter period of time, typically spanning a few days or a week. This condensed treatment format allows for deeper and more focused work, resulting in faster and more significant improvements in test anxiety symptoms.
One of the primary benefits of EMDR intensives is the accelerated pace of progress. With regular therapy sessions, it can sometimes take weeks or months to see significant results. However, with EMDR intensives, children can experience noticeable improvements in a matter of days. This rapid progress can be highly motivating and provide a much-needed boost in confidence for children struggling with test anxiety.
EMDR intensives also allow for a comprehensive and immersive therapeutic experience. During an intensive, children can fully immerse themselves in the therapeutic process, focusing solely on their test anxiety and related challenges. This concentrated approach can help children quickly identify and address the underlying causes of their test anxiety, leading to more lasting and transformative change.
Another benefit of EMDR intensives is the opportunity for intensive skill-building and practice. Children can learn and practice specific techniques and strategies to manage their anxiety in real-time, both during therapy sessions and in-between. This intensive skill-building allows children to develop a strong foundation of coping mechanisms and tools to use during exams and stressful situations.
Furthermore, EMDR intensives provide a supportive and nurturing environment for children to explore and process their emotions. The extended treatment format allows for more in-depth and comprehensive exploration of past traumas, negative beliefs, and emotions that contribute to test anxiety. This deeper level of emotional processing can lead to profound healing and a greater sense of empowerment for children.
While EMDR intensives can be highly effective, it is important to note that they may not be suitable for everyone. Each child is unique, and the decision to pursue EMDR intensives should be made in consultation with a qualified EMDR therapist who can assess the child's specific needs and circumstances.
In summary, EMDR intensives offer a powerful and accelerated treatment option for children struggling with test anxiety. The condensed and immersive nature of EMDR intensives allows for faster progress, comprehensive skill-building, and deep emotional processing. By considering EMDR intensives as a treatment option, parents, teachers, and tutors can provide their child with the best possible support to overcome test anxiety and reach their full potential.

Tips for Parents, Teachers and Tutors to Help Children with Test Anxiety

Parents, teachers, and tutors play a crucial role in supporting children with test anxiety. If your child is struggling with test anxiety, here are some tips to help them overcome their fears and perform to their full potential:


  1. Create a supportive environment: Foster a safe and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their anxiety and seeking help. Encourage open communication and listen to their concerns without judgment. Let them know that their feelings are valid and that you are there to support them.
  2. Teach relaxation techniques: Help your child develop relaxation techniques to manage stress and anxiety during exams. Deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualization techniques can all be helpful in reducing anxiety levels. Practice these techniques together and encourage your child to use them during test situations.
  3. Set realistic expectations: Help your child set realistic expectations for themselves and their test performance. Emphasize that exams are a way to assess their knowledge and growth, rather than a measure of their worth as individuals. Encourage them to focus on their effort and improvement, rather than solely on the outcome.
  4. Teach effective study strategies: Work with your child to develop effective study strategies that suit their learning style. Help them create a study schedule, break down the material into manageable chunks, and use techniques such as flashcards or mnemonic devices to aid in memory retention. Teaching them effective study skills can help reduce anxiety and increase their confidence in their abilities.
  5. Encourage a growth mindset: Instill in your child a growth mindset, emphasizing that intelligence and abilities can be developed through effort and perseverance. Teach them to view challenges as opportunities for growth and to embrace mistakes as learning experiences. By cultivating a growth mindset, your child will be more resilient in the face of setbacks and better able to manage test anxiety.
  6. Seek professional help: If your child's test anxiety persists or becomes overwhelming, consider seeking professional help. A qualified EMDR therapist can provide specialized treatment to address the root causes of test anxiety and help your child overcome their fears. Work with the therapist to develop a personalized treatment plan that suits your child's needs.

By implementing these tips and providing the necessary support, parents, teachers, and tutors can help children manage their test anxiety and perform to their full potential. Remember, overcoming test anxiety takes time and patience, so be sure to celebrate even small victories along the way. With the right support and strategies, your child can overcome their test anxiety and thrive academically.

Sending Love & Light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW


Childhood trauma can have lasting effects on a person's mental health and wellbeing. Clinical practitioners are increasingly turning to Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) as a safe and effective way to help children and adolescents manage the effects of traumatic experiences. In this blog post, we'll explore the clinical application of EMDR in treating childhood trauma and discuss the benefits it can provide to young minds.

Understanding EMDR and Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma can have a profound impact on a person's emotional and developmental well-being. It can manifest in a variety of ways, such as behavioral issues, ADHD, attachment difficulties, and even dissociation. These experiences can deeply affect a child's ability to form healthy relationships, regulate their emotions, and feel safe in the world.



Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic approach that has gained recognition for its effectiveness in treating trauma, including childhood trauma. EMDR aims to help individuals process distressing memories and experiences that have become stuck or unprocessed in the brain. This therapy works by utilizing bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, to facilitate the brain's natural healing processes.

Benefits of Using EMDR with Children and Adolescents


Children and adolescents who have experienced trauma can greatly benefit from the use of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. This approach offers unique advantages for young minds, allowing them to heal and build resilience in a safe and supportive environment.
One of the key benefits of EMDR for children and adolescents is its non-intrusive nature. Unlike traditional talk therapies, EMDR focuses on accessing and processing traumatic memories without requiring the child to verbally recount the details of their experiences. This can be especially helpful for young clients who may struggle to express themselves or have difficulty verbalizing their emotions.

Another advantage of EMDR is its ability to target the root causes of distress. Through bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or other forms of rhythmic stimulation, EMDR helps children and adolescents reprocess and integrate traumatic memories into their existing networks. This allows them to form new associations and narratives around their experiences, ultimately leading to a reduction in symptoms and an increase in overall well-being.


EMDR also provides young clients with a sense of control and empowerment. By actively participating in their healing process, children and adolescents can develop a greater understanding of their emotions and learn effective coping strategies to manage future challenges. EMDR helps them regain a sense of agency and resilience, promoting long-term emotional growth and recovery.

Preparing for EMDR Therapy with Young Clients


Preparing for EMDR therapy with young clients is an essential step towards ensuring a safe and effective healing process. Here are some important considerations for practitioners when working with children and adolescents:

  1. Building rapport: Establishing a trusting relationship is crucial. Take the time to connect with the young client, understand their unique needs, and create a safe and supportive environment. Encourage open communication and validate their experiences.
  2. Psychoeducation: Educate the young client and their caregivers about the EMDR process. Explain what to expect during therapy sessions, including the use of eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation. Provide age-appropriate information and address any concerns or misconceptions they may have.
  3. Assessing readiness: Determine if the child or adolescent is ready for EMDR therapy. Assess their emotional stability, cognitive ability, and capacity for self-regulation. It may be necessary to build foundational skills, such as emotion regulation or coping strategies, before proceeding with EMDR.
  4. Safety planning: Collaborate with the young client and their support system to create a safety plan. This plan should outline strategies for managing distress, identifying triggers, and seeking support outside of therapy sessions.
  5. Tailoring the approach: Adapt the EMDR protocol to meet the specific needs of the young client. Consider their developmental stage, cultural background, and individual preferences. Incorporate age-appropriate activities, such as play or creative expression, to engage and facilitate the healing process.

Phases of EMDR Therapy for Children and Adolescents


EMDR therapy for children and adolescents typically follows a structured set of phases to ensure a comprehensive healing process. These phases provide a roadmap for practitioners to guide young clients through their journey towards recovery.
The first phase, history taking and treatment planning, focuses on building rapport, establishing trust, and educating both the young client and their caregivers about the EMDR process. It is important to ensure that the child or adolescent feels safe and supported before proceeding to the next phase.

The second phase is preparation or as we like to call it "resourcing". This ensures your child is able to bring their nervous system back into equilibrium after thinking about a distressing event. this is where we teach all the great coping skills to help them regulate when triggered.
The third phase, assessment, involves identifying and prioritizing the traumatic memories or experiences that will be targeted during therapy. This includes understanding the associated emotions, beliefs, and physical sensations that arise when these memories are recalled.
The fourth phase, desensitization, is the core component of EMDR therapy. Here, bilateral stimulation techniques are used to facilitate the reprocessing of traumatic memories. These techniques may include eye movements, taps, or auditory stimulation.
The fifth stage installation, focuses on strengthening positive beliefs and emotions to replace negative or maladaptive ones. This phase helps young clients develop resilience and a sense of empowerment.
The six phase, body scan, involves assessing the client's physical sensations to ensure that all distress related to the traumatic memories has been resolved.
The seventh phase, closure, is aimed at bringing the therapy session to a positive conclusion. This includes ensuring the client feels grounded and safe, discussing any ongoing emotions or sensations, and setting goals for future sessions.

The final stage is re-evaluation, to ensure the entire memory or target was fully processed, meaning zero internal disturbance and that the body scan is clear. If scan is not clear- meaning there is still physical symptoms in response to thinking about the incident we start again at stage 4 or 5.

Tips for Practitioners Working with Young Clients during EMDR Therapy


Working with young clients during Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy requires a thoughtful and tailored approach. Here are some tips to help practitioners navigate the unique challenges of working with children and adolescents:

  1. Create a safe and nurturing environment: Ensure that the therapy space is welcoming and comfortable for young clients. Use child-friendly materials and decor to create a sense of familiarity and ease.
  2. Use age-appropriate language: When explaining concepts or discussing emotions, use language that is accessible and understandable for young clients. Avoid using jargon or complex terminology that may confuse or overwhelm them.
  3. Incorporate play and creative expression: Utilize play therapy techniques or creative activities to engage young clients and facilitate their healing process. Drawing, storytelling, or using toys can help them express themselves and process their experiences in a non-threatening way.
  4. Prioritize self-regulation skills: Help young clients develop coping strategies and self-regulation skills that they can use outside of therapy. Teach them simple techniques like deep breathing or grounding exercises to manage distressing emotions or triggers.
  5. Be flexible and adaptable: Children and adolescents may have shorter attention spans or may need breaks during therapy. Be willing to adjust the session length or structure to accommodate their needs and maintain their engagement.
  6. Collaborate with caregivers: Regularly communicate with parents or caregivers to understand the child's progress outside of therapy and address any concerns. Involve them in the treatment plan and provide them with resources or strategies to support their child's healing journey.
    By implementing these tips, practitioners can effectively support and guide young clients through the EMDR therapy process, helping them find healing and resilience in their recovery from childhood trauma.

Potential Challenges and Solutions in EMDR Therapy with Children and Adolescents


While Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy has proven to be highly effective in treating childhood trauma, there are some unique challenges that practitioners may encounter when working with children and adolescents. One potential challenge is the limited attention span and ability to focus for extended periods. Young minds may become restless or disengaged during therapy sessions, making it difficult to fully process traumatic memories.
To overcome this challenge, practitioners can incorporate creative activities or play therapy techniques into the session to keep young clients engaged and interested. By using drawing, storytelling, or playing with toys, children and adolescents can express their emotions and experiences in a more accessible and non-threatening way.
Another challenge is the difficulty children may have in articulating their emotions or experiences verbally. Young clients may struggle to find the right words or may not have developed the language skills to fully express themselves.
In this case, practitioners can utilize alternative methods of communication, such as art or play therapy, to help young clients express their feelings and experiences. These non-verbal techniques can bypass the limitations of language and provide a safe and effective way for children and adolescents to process their trauma.
Additionally, children and adolescents may require more support and guidance outside of therapy sessions. This can be challenging if they do not have a stable support system or caregivers who are actively involved in their healing process.
To address this challenge, practitioners can collaborate with parents or caregivers, providing them with resources and strategies to support their child's recovery. Regular communication and check-ins can help identify any additional needs or concerns and ensure that the young client receives consistent support throughout their healing journey.

As always, if you feel your child could benefit from EMDR therapy please reach out and give out office a call at 631-503-1539 or fill out a consultation request form.

-Valerie Smith, LMSW

When it comes to raising emotionally healthy and confident children, parents need to take a proactive approach. Therapy for parents is an important part of this process, as it provides an opportunity for parents to work through their own hurts and emotional struggles in order to model appropriate behavior for their kids. In this guide, we'll be looking at tips for parents to facilitate confidence, good boundaries, and healthy self-esteem, as well as why working through our own hurts and emotional struggles is necessary in order to help our children develop emotional well-being and confidence.

therapy for parents

Why emotional health and confidence are important for children


Emotional health and confidence are crucial aspects of a child's overall well-being. When children have a strong foundation of emotional health, they are better equipped to handle life's challenges, form positive relationships, and achieve success in various areas of their lives.
One of the key reasons why emotional health is important for children is its impact on their mental well-being. Children who have good emotional health are more likely to have a positive self-image, feel a sense of belonging, and have a strong sense of self-worth. They are also better able to regulate their emotions and cope with stress, which leads to improved mental health outcomes.
Confidence is another crucial component of a child's emotional well-being. When children are confident, they are more likely to take on challenges and persevere in the face of adversity. They believe in their abilities and are willing to take risks, which fosters resilience and a growth mindset. Confident children are also more likely to have positive social interactions, as they feel comfortable expressing themselves and engaging with others.
Furthermore, emotional health and confidence have a significant impact on a child's social development. Children who are emotionally healthy are better able to understand and manage their own emotions, as well as empathize with the feelings of others. This leads to healthier relationships, effective communication, and increased social competence. Additionally, confident children are more likely to assert their boundaries, stand up for themselves, and make decisions that align with their values, which are essential skills for navigating various social situations.
Moreover, emotional health and confidence play a crucial role in academic success. When children have a strong emotional foundation, they are better able to focus, concentrate, and engage in their learning. They are more likely to have a positive attitude towards school, feel motivated to succeed, and have the resilience to overcome academic challenges. Confidence also impacts a child's willingness to ask questions, seek help when needed, and take on new academic tasks, which contributes to their overall educational achievement.
Therapy for parents is an essential component in promoting emotional health and confidence in children. By addressing their own emotional struggles, parents can better understand and regulate their own emotions, providing a stable and nurturing environment for their children. Furthermore, therapy allows parents to develop healthy communication and problem-solving skills, which can positively impact their interactions with their children.

In summary, emotional health and confidence are vital for children's overall well-being. They impact mental health, social development, and academic success. By fostering emotional well-being and confidence in children, parents can set them up for a lifetime of resilience, self-esteem, and success.

Tips for facilitating your child's emotional well-being


When it comes to facilitating your child's emotional well-being, there are several key strategies that parents can implement. By being proactive and intentional in your approach, you can help your child develop the emotional skills and resilience needed to navigate life's challenges. Therapy for parents to work help achieve these tips is recommended, especially for those with childhood trauma histories. Here are some tips to facilitate your child's emotional well-being:

  1. Create a safe and supportive environment: Provide your child with a nurturing and secure environment where they feel safe expressing their emotions. Encourage open communication and active listening. Validate their feelings and let them know that it's okay to experience a range of emotions. This will help your child develop a healthy emotional awareness and expression.
  2. Teach emotional intelligence: Help your child develop emotional intelligence by teaching them to identify and understand their emotions. Talk about different emotions and help them recognize their triggers and coping mechanisms. Encourage empathy by discussing how others might be feeling in certain situations. By understanding emotions, your child can better regulate their own feelings and respond empathetically to others.
  3. Encourage problem-solving skills: Teach your child problem-solving skills to help them navigate challenging situations. Encourage them to brainstorm solutions, consider the pros and cons of each option, and make informed decisions. By empowering your child to solve their own problems, you are fostering their independence and self-confidence.
  4. Foster resilience: Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. Help your child develop resilience by encouraging them to view setbacks as learning opportunities. Teach them to develop a growth mindset, where they see challenges as stepping stones to success rather than roadblocks. Encourage perseverance and provide support as they navigate through difficult situations.
  5. Practice self-care: Modeling self-care is essential in promoting your child's emotional well-being. Show them the importance of taking care of yourself by prioritizing activities that promote mental and emotional well-being. Take breaks, engage in hobbies, and practice self-compassion. By prioritizing self-care, you are teaching your child the importance of taking care of their own emotional needs.
  6. Seek professional help if needed: If you notice that your child is struggling with their emotional well-being, it may be beneficial to seek professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support tailored to your child's needs. They can help your child develop coping mechanisms, address underlying issues, and provide strategies to enhance their emotional well-being. Therapy for parents whose children are struggling is helpful and will lead to changes within you and within your family.

Teaching healthy boundaries

therapy for parents

Teaching healthy boundaries is an essential part of raising emotionally healthy and confident children. Boundaries help children understand their own needs and limits, as well as respect the needs and limits of others. By teaching children about boundaries, parents empower them to develop healthy relationships, assert themselves, and establish their own sense of autonomy. Boundary setting is an important part of parenting and therapy for parents can assist in this endeavor.


Here are some strategies for teaching healthy boundaries to your child:

  1. Start early: It's never too early to begin teaching your child about boundaries. Even toddlers can start learning about personal space and respecting others' boundaries. Use simple language and concrete examples to help them understand the concept.
  2. Set clear expectations: Clearly communicate your expectations for boundaries with your child. Explain what behaviors are acceptable and what are not. Make sure they understand the consequences of crossing boundaries and why it is important to respect them.
  3. Lead by example: Children learn best by observing and imitating their parents. Model healthy boundaries by respecting your own limits and boundaries. Show your child how to say "no" when necessary and demonstrate healthy communication and conflict resolution skills.
  4. Encourage open communication: Create a safe and non-judgmental space for your child to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns. Encourage them to speak up if their boundaries are being violated and listen attentively to their concerns. Validate their feelings and reassure them that it is okay to set boundaries.
  5. Teach consent: Teach your child about the importance of consent from an early age. Teach them that their body belongs to them and they have the right to say "no" to unwanted physical contact. Explain that they should always ask for consent before touching someone else.
  6. Practice role-playing: Engage in role-playing activities with your child to help them practice setting boundaries in different scenarios. Encourage them to use assertive communication and teach them how to respond if their boundaries are challenged.
  7. Encourage self-advocacy: Teach your child to advocate for themselves and assert their boundaries in different situations. Help them practice assertive phrases, such as "I don't like it when…" or "I need some space right now." Encourage them to express their needs and feelings respectfully.
    Teaching healthy boundaries is an ongoing process. As your child grows, their boundaries may change, and it's important to continue supporting them in understanding and asserting their limits. By teaching your child about healthy boundaries, you are equipping them with essential life skills that will contribute to their emotional well-being and confidence throughout their lives.

Building self-esteem


Building self-esteem is a crucial aspect of raising emotionally healthy and confident children. Self-esteem refers to the overall evaluation and perception that individuals have of themselves. It plays a significant role in how children navigate their lives, form relationships, and achieve their goals.
There are several strategies that parents can employ to help build their child's self-esteem:

  1. Provide unconditional love and acceptance: Children need to know that they are loved and accepted for who they are, regardless of their accomplishments or failures. Show them that your love is not contingent upon their achievements, but rather, it is constant and unwavering.
  2. Encourage and praise their efforts: Acknowledge and appreciate your child's efforts rather than solely focusing on the outcomes. By highlighting their hard work and determination, you are teaching them that effort is valuable and that they are capable of achieving their goals through perseverance.
  3. Foster a growth mindset: Teach your child that their abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort, practice, and learning from mistakes. Encourage them to view challenges as opportunities for growth and to embrace failures as stepping stones to success.
  4. Help them set realistic goals: Guide your child in setting achievable goals that align with their interests and abilities. Break down larger goals into smaller, manageable tasks, and celebrate their progress along the way. This will help them develop a sense of competence and accomplishment.
  5. Encourage autonomy and decision-making: Allow your child to make decisions and take ownership of their choices. Offer guidance and support, but also provide them with opportunities to make decisions and learn from their experiences. This autonomy helps build their self-confidence and belief in their own abilities.
  6. Provide opportunities for success: Create environments and activities where your child can experience success. This can be through extracurricular activities, hobbies, or academic pursuits. When children have opportunities to succeed, it boosts their self-esteem and confidence in their abilities.
  7. Teach positive self-talk: Help your child develop a positive inner dialogue by encouraging them to challenge negative thoughts and replace them with positive and affirming ones. Teach them to be kind to themselves and to celebrate their strengths and achievements.
    Building self-esteem is an ongoing process that requires consistent effort and support from parents. By implementing these strategies, you can help your child develop a strong and positive sense of self, fostering emotional well-being and confidence that will serve them well throughout their lives.

Modeling appropriate behavior


As parents, one of the most powerful ways we can support our children's emotional well-being and confidence is by modeling appropriate behavior. Children learn by observing the actions and attitudes of their parents, and they look to us as role models for how to navigate the world. By consistently demonstrating healthy behaviors, we can teach our children valuable life skills and help them develop their own emotional intelligence.
One of the first steps in modeling appropriate behavior is practicing effective communication. This includes active listening, expressing emotions in a healthy way, and resolving conflicts peacefully. When children see their parents communicate respectfully and honestly, they learn how to express their own thoughts and feelings effectively. They also learn how to navigate disagreements and conflicts with empathy and understanding.
In addition to communication, it is important to model self-care. Showing our children that we prioritize our own mental and emotional well-being teaches them the importance of taking care of themselves. This can include setting boundaries, practicing stress-reduction techniques, and engaging in activities that bring us joy. By modeling self-care, we teach our children the value of self-nurturing and how to prioritize their own needs.
Another aspect of modeling appropriate behavior is demonstrating resilience in the face of challenges. Life is full of ups and downs, and our children will inevitably face setbacks and obstacles. By showing them how to handle adversity with grace and determination, we can teach them resilience and perseverance. When children see their parents navigate difficult situations with resilience, they learn that setbacks are temporary and can be overcome with determination and a positive mindset.
Furthermore, modeling empathy and kindness is crucial for promoting healthy relationships and social interactions. By treating others with respect, compassion, and understanding, we show our children the importance of empathy. When they see us demonstrating kindness towards others, they learn the value of compassion and how to build positive relationships.
In summary, modeling appropriate behavior is essential for fostering our children's emotional well-being and confidence. By practicing effective communication, demonstrating self-care, showing resilience, and modeling empathy and kindness, we can provide our children with the tools they need to navigate life's challenges and form healthy relationships. Remember, our actions speak louder than words, and by consistently modeling positive behaviors, we can positively impact our children's emotional development and set them up for a lifetime of emotional well-being and confidence.

The importance of working through your own emotional struggles


As parents, it is essential to recognize the significance of working through our own emotional struggles in order to support our children's emotional well-being and confidence. When we address our own hurts and emotional challenges, we become better equipped to model appropriate behavior and provide a nurturing environment for our children to thrive.
One of the key reasons why working through our own emotional struggles is crucial is the impact it has on our ability to regulate our own emotions. As parents, our emotions can influence the emotional climate of our homes. If we are constantly overwhelmed or unable to manage our own emotions, it becomes challenging to create a safe and stable environment for our children. By addressing our own emotional struggles, whether through therapy, self-reflection, or support networks, we can develop healthy coping mechanisms and emotional regulation skills that allow us to respond to our children's emotions in a calm and supportive manner.
Working through our own emotional struggles also helps us model appropriate behavior for our children. Children learn by observing and imitating their parents, and when they see us addressing our emotional challenges, they learn that it is okay to seek help and support when needed. By being open about our own vulnerabilities and actively working towards emotional well-being, we show our children that it is normal to experience difficulties and that it is important to prioritize our mental and emotional health.
Furthermore, when we work through our own emotional struggles, we develop greater empathy and understanding towards our children's experiences. It allows us to approach their emotions with compassion and sensitivity, rather than reacting from our own unresolved issues. This empathy creates a deeper connection with our children and fosters a sense of trust and emotional safety.
In addition, addressing our own emotional struggles can also prevent us from projecting our unresolved issues onto our children. Sometimes, our own unresolved emotions can unintentionally manifest in our parenting behaviors. By working through our own hurts, we can minimize the likelihood of repeating unhealthy patterns or inadvertently passing on emotional baggage to our children.
Overall, addressing our own emotional struggles is an important aspect of parenting. It allows us to create a supportive and emotionally healthy environment for our children, while also equipping us with the skills and awareness to model appropriate behavior. By prioritizing our own emotional well-being, we set the foundation for our children to develop their own emotional well-being and confidence, ultimately fostering a lifetime of resilience, self-esteem, and success.

Sending Love & Light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

Art therapy is an incredibly powerful modality for treating mental health conditions in children. This type of therapy uses art and creative expression to help children work through emotions, worries, and trauma. A child therapist trained in art therapy can create a safe and supportive environment for children to explore their feelings and gain insight. Art therapy allows children to communicate what they might not be able to express in words and can be extremely beneficial in helping them work through their issues. With the help of an experienced child therapist, art therapy can be an invaluable tool for treating mental health conditions in children.

The Magic of Communication and Expression Through Art

Art has a unique way of transcending language and allowing individuals to express themselves in a deeply meaningful way. For children, who may struggle with verbalizing their thoughts and emotions, art therapy provides a powerful tool for communication and expression.

When a child engages in art therapy, they are given the freedom to explore and create without judgment. Through various art mediums such as drawing, painting, and sculpting, they can externalize their internal world, giving a voice to their feelings and experiences.

One of the remarkable aspects of art therapy is that it goes beyond the limitations of traditional talk therapy. Children who may find it difficult to articulate their thoughts or are unable to put words to their emotions can find solace and relief in the process of creating art.

Art therapy provides a safe and non-threatening environment where a child therapist, who specializes in this modality, can guide and support them. Through their art, children are able to express emotions, process traumatic experiences, and gain insights into their own thoughts and behaviors.

The magic of communication and expression through art is not limited to a single session. Over time, art therapy can help children build self-awareness, improve coping skills, and enhance their overall mental well-being.

If your child is struggling with emotional or behavioral challenges, consider the power of art therapy. Our board-certified art therapist is here to help your child find their voice, discover their inner strengths, and create a path towards healing and growth.

Why is Art Therapy a Good Modality for Children?

Art therapy is a highly effective modality for children because it provides them with a safe and non-threatening way to express themselves. Children may not always have the verbal skills to articulate their emotions or experiences, but through art, they can communicate their thoughts, feelings, and experiences in a tangible and creative way.

Art therapy allows children to explore their inner world and externalize their emotions in a visual form. It provides a space for self-expression and self-discovery, allowing them to process difficult emotions and experiences that they may not be able to put into words.

Art therapy also helps children develop important coping skills and resilience. By engaging in the creative process, they learn to problem-solve, regulate their emotions, and gain a sense of control over their lives. This can be particularly beneficial for children who have experienced trauma or are struggling with mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression.

Additionally, art therapy provides a supportive and nurturing environment. Working with a trained child therapist, who specializes in art therapy, ensures that the child receives individualized attention and guidance. The therapist can help the child explore their artwork, facilitate discussions about their emotions, and help them make connections between their art and their experiences.

Overall, art therapy is a valuable modality for children as it fosters self-expression, emotional growth, and healing. If your child is struggling with mental health challenges, consider booking a session with our board-certified art therapist to provide them with the support and tools they need to thrive.

Common Techniques Used with Kids

Art therapy offers a range of techniques that are specifically tailored to engage children and help them express their emotions and experiences. These techniques, guided by a trained child therapist, create a safe and nurturing environment for children to communicate and heal. Here are some common techniques used in art therapy for kids:

1. Art Therapy Assessments: Child therapists may use assessments to understand a child's emotional state and any potential mental health conditions. These assessments can include drawing tasks like "Draw a Person" or "House-Tree-Person" that allow the therapist to gain insight into the child's thoughts and feelings.

2. Visual Art Techniques: Using different art materials and techniques, children can express their emotions, thoughts, and experiences visually. This can include spontaneous drawing, collages, sculptures, mandalas, or drawing their family. By discussing their choices and themes, the therapist can help the child explore and process their emotions.

3. Dramatic Techniques: Through psychodrama techniques like the "empty chair" or family sculpting, children can act out scenarios and explore their emotions in a safe and controlled way. These techniques allow the child therapist to better understand the child's disorder, patterns, and provide opportunities for emotional regulation.

4. Writing Techniques: Writing assignments such as letter writing, journaling, or poetry can help children express complicated feelings and experiences. These techniques provide a constructive outlet for emotional expression and can foster post-traumatic growth.

5. Movement/Somatic Techniques: Movement techniques like dance and pantomime enables children to physically express their emotions and explore new behaviors. This allows them to develop a deeper understanding of their emotions and develop healthy coping mechanisms.

6. Music Techniques: Appreciating and identifying music that elicits different mood states can teach children mindfulness skills, mood management, and enhance their ability to express emotions. Activities like drum circles, playing instruments together, and group listening can further support the development of these skills in social settings.

Overall, these techniques provide children with a variety of creative ways to communicate, process emotions, and develop resilience. By working with a trained child therapist in art therapy, children can find healing and growth through self-expression.

Mental Health Conditions that Can Be Treated through Art Therapy

Art therapy has been proven to be a powerful modality for treating a variety of mental health conditions in children and adolescents. With the guidance of a trained child therapist, art therapy can provide a safe and creative outlet for children to express and process their emotions.

Children who experience anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can greatly benefit from art therapy. Through the use of art materials, children can externalize their inner struggles and fears, allowing them to gain a better understanding of their emotions and experiences.

For children who are dealing with psychosis or medical conditions like cancer and traumatic brain injury (TBI), art therapy can provide a sense of control and empowerment. Creating artwork can help these children regain a sense of identity and agency in the face of their illness or condition.

Art therapy can also be effective for children who are struggling with family or marriage concerns. By engaging in art-making activities, children can explore their family dynamics and communicate their thoughts and feelings in a non-verbal way.

In addition, art therapy has shown positive outcomes in treating children with low self-esteem, substance use disorders, and eating disorders. Through the art-making process, children can build self-confidence, develop healthier coping strategies, and improve their body image and self-perception.

If your child is experiencing any of these mental health conditions, consider booking a session with our board-certified art therapist today. They will work with your child to create a safe and supportive environment for them to explore their emotions and heal through art. Art therapy truly has the power to transform the lives of children and adolescents, offering them a path toward healing and self-discovery.

Book with Our Board Certified Art Therapist Today

Are you looking for a qualified and compassionate child therapist who specializes in art therapy? Look no further than Sarah Cupka, LCAT our board-certified art therapist. Sarah has a passion for working with populations of trauma of all ages, particularly children. Her journey of healing from intimate partner violence has inspired her to help others on their path to recovery.

Sarah completed her Master of Arts in Art Therapy and Counseling and Master of Science in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Long Island University Post. During her studies, Sarah completed several internships, gaining valuable experience working with children and adolescents in both individual and group art therapy settings. She has witnessed firsthand the transformative power of art therapy in helping children communicate and express themselves in ways that words often cannot.

As a board-certified art therapist, Sarah is committed to providing a safe and supportive space for children to explore their emotions and develop healthy coping skills. Whether your child is struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, or other mental health conditions, art therapy can be a powerful modality for healing.

Don't wait any longer to give your child the support they need. Book a session with Sarah, our board-certified art therapist, and begin the journey toward healing and growth. Contact us today to schedule an appointment. Your child deserves the transformative benefits of art therapy.

Sending Love & Light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

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