Childhood trauma can have lasting effects on a person's mental health and wellbeing. Clinical practitioners are increasingly turning to Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) as a safe and effective way to help children and adolescents manage the effects of traumatic experiences. In this blog post, we'll explore the clinical application of EMDR in treating childhood trauma and discuss the benefits it can provide to young minds.

Understanding EMDR and Childhood Trauma

Childhood trauma can have a profound impact on a person's emotional and developmental well-being. It can manifest in a variety of ways, such as behavioral issues, ADHD, attachment difficulties, and even dissociation. These experiences can deeply affect a child's ability to form healthy relationships, regulate their emotions, and feel safe in the world.



Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic approach that has gained recognition for its effectiveness in treating trauma, including childhood trauma. EMDR aims to help individuals process distressing memories and experiences that have become stuck or unprocessed in the brain. This therapy works by utilizing bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, to facilitate the brain's natural healing processes.

Benefits of Using EMDR with Children and Adolescents


Children and adolescents who have experienced trauma can greatly benefit from the use of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. This approach offers unique advantages for young minds, allowing them to heal and build resilience in a safe and supportive environment.
One of the key benefits of EMDR for children and adolescents is its non-intrusive nature. Unlike traditional talk therapies, EMDR focuses on accessing and processing traumatic memories without requiring the child to verbally recount the details of their experiences. This can be especially helpful for young clients who may struggle to express themselves or have difficulty verbalizing their emotions.

Another advantage of EMDR is its ability to target the root causes of distress. Through bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or other forms of rhythmic stimulation, EMDR helps children and adolescents reprocess and integrate traumatic memories into their existing networks. This allows them to form new associations and narratives around their experiences, ultimately leading to a reduction in symptoms and an increase in overall well-being.


EMDR also provides young clients with a sense of control and empowerment. By actively participating in their healing process, children and adolescents can develop a greater understanding of their emotions and learn effective coping strategies to manage future challenges. EMDR helps them regain a sense of agency and resilience, promoting long-term emotional growth and recovery.

Preparing for EMDR Therapy with Young Clients


Preparing for EMDR therapy with young clients is an essential step towards ensuring a safe and effective healing process. Here are some important considerations for practitioners when working with children and adolescents:

  1. Building rapport: Establishing a trusting relationship is crucial. Take the time to connect with the young client, understand their unique needs, and create a safe and supportive environment. Encourage open communication and validate their experiences.
  2. Psychoeducation: Educate the young client and their caregivers about the EMDR process. Explain what to expect during therapy sessions, including the use of eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation. Provide age-appropriate information and address any concerns or misconceptions they may have.
  3. Assessing readiness: Determine if the child or adolescent is ready for EMDR therapy. Assess their emotional stability, cognitive ability, and capacity for self-regulation. It may be necessary to build foundational skills, such as emotion regulation or coping strategies, before proceeding with EMDR.
  4. Safety planning: Collaborate with the young client and their support system to create a safety plan. This plan should outline strategies for managing distress, identifying triggers, and seeking support outside of therapy sessions.
  5. Tailoring the approach: Adapt the EMDR protocol to meet the specific needs of the young client. Consider their developmental stage, cultural background, and individual preferences. Incorporate age-appropriate activities, such as play or creative expression, to engage and facilitate the healing process.

Phases of EMDR Therapy for Children and Adolescents


EMDR therapy for children and adolescents typically follows a structured set of phases to ensure a comprehensive healing process. These phases provide a roadmap for practitioners to guide young clients through their journey towards recovery.
The first phase, history taking and treatment planning, focuses on building rapport, establishing trust, and educating both the young client and their caregivers about the EMDR process. It is important to ensure that the child or adolescent feels safe and supported before proceeding to the next phase.

The second phase is preparation or as we like to call it "resourcing". This ensures your child is able to bring their nervous system back into equilibrium after thinking about a distressing event. this is where we teach all the great coping skills to help them regulate when triggered.
The third phase, assessment, involves identifying and prioritizing the traumatic memories or experiences that will be targeted during therapy. This includes understanding the associated emotions, beliefs, and physical sensations that arise when these memories are recalled.
The fourth phase, desensitization, is the core component of EMDR therapy. Here, bilateral stimulation techniques are used to facilitate the reprocessing of traumatic memories. These techniques may include eye movements, taps, or auditory stimulation.
The fifth stage installation, focuses on strengthening positive beliefs and emotions to replace negative or maladaptive ones. This phase helps young clients develop resilience and a sense of empowerment.
The six phase, body scan, involves assessing the client's physical sensations to ensure that all distress related to the traumatic memories has been resolved.
The seventh phase, closure, is aimed at bringing the therapy session to a positive conclusion. This includes ensuring the client feels grounded and safe, discussing any ongoing emotions or sensations, and setting goals for future sessions.

The final stage is re-evaluation, to ensure the entire memory or target was fully processed, meaning zero internal disturbance and that the body scan is clear. If scan is not clear- meaning there is still physical symptoms in response to thinking about the incident we start again at stage 4 or 5.

Tips for Practitioners Working with Young Clients during EMDR Therapy


Working with young clients during Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy requires a thoughtful and tailored approach. Here are some tips to help practitioners navigate the unique challenges of working with children and adolescents:

  1. Create a safe and nurturing environment: Ensure that the therapy space is welcoming and comfortable for young clients. Use child-friendly materials and decor to create a sense of familiarity and ease.
  2. Use age-appropriate language: When explaining concepts or discussing emotions, use language that is accessible and understandable for young clients. Avoid using jargon or complex terminology that may confuse or overwhelm them.
  3. Incorporate play and creative expression: Utilize play therapy techniques or creative activities to engage young clients and facilitate their healing process. Drawing, storytelling, or using toys can help them express themselves and process their experiences in a non-threatening way.
  4. Prioritize self-regulation skills: Help young clients develop coping strategies and self-regulation skills that they can use outside of therapy. Teach them simple techniques like deep breathing or grounding exercises to manage distressing emotions or triggers.
  5. Be flexible and adaptable: Children and adolescents may have shorter attention spans or may need breaks during therapy. Be willing to adjust the session length or structure to accommodate their needs and maintain their engagement.
  6. Collaborate with caregivers: Regularly communicate with parents or caregivers to understand the child's progress outside of therapy and address any concerns. Involve them in the treatment plan and provide them with resources or strategies to support their child's healing journey.
    By implementing these tips, practitioners can effectively support and guide young clients through the EMDR therapy process, helping them find healing and resilience in their recovery from childhood trauma.

Potential Challenges and Solutions in EMDR Therapy with Children and Adolescents


While Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy has proven to be highly effective in treating childhood trauma, there are some unique challenges that practitioners may encounter when working with children and adolescents. One potential challenge is the limited attention span and ability to focus for extended periods. Young minds may become restless or disengaged during therapy sessions, making it difficult to fully process traumatic memories.
To overcome this challenge, practitioners can incorporate creative activities or play therapy techniques into the session to keep young clients engaged and interested. By using drawing, storytelling, or playing with toys, children and adolescents can express their emotions and experiences in a more accessible and non-threatening way.
Another challenge is the difficulty children may have in articulating their emotions or experiences verbally. Young clients may struggle to find the right words or may not have developed the language skills to fully express themselves.
In this case, practitioners can utilize alternative methods of communication, such as art or play therapy, to help young clients express their feelings and experiences. These non-verbal techniques can bypass the limitations of language and provide a safe and effective way for children and adolescents to process their trauma.
Additionally, children and adolescents may require more support and guidance outside of therapy sessions. This can be challenging if they do not have a stable support system or caregivers who are actively involved in their healing process.
To address this challenge, practitioners can collaborate with parents or caregivers, providing them with resources and strategies to support their child's recovery. Regular communication and check-ins can help identify any additional needs or concerns and ensure that the young client receives consistent support throughout their healing journey.

As always, if you feel your child could benefit from EMDR therapy please reach out and give out office a call at 631-503-1539 or fill out a consultation request form.

-Valerie Smith, LMSW


Actors often struggle with stage fright, which can severely impact their performance and career. However, there is hope: therapy for stage fright and therapy for actors, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), can help them overcome their performance anxiety. EMDR is a form of therapy that has been proven to be very effective in treating a variety of issues, including stage fright and performance anxiety. In this blog post, we will explore the benefits of EMDR for actors struggling with stage fright, including how it can help them tackle their performance anxiety and manage their fears.

Defining stage fright and performance anxiety


Stage fright and performance anxiety are two terms often used interchangeably, but they actually refer to slightly different experiences for actors. Stage fright is characterized by intense fear and anxiety before or during a performance, while performance anxiety encompasses a broader range of anxieties related to performing in front of an audience. Both can have debilitating effects on an actor's ability to deliver a successful and confident performance.
Stage fright can manifest as a racing heart, trembling hands, sweating, dry mouth, or even forgetting lines or blocking on stage. Performance anxiety, on the other hand, can encompass a variety of fears and worries, such as fear of judgment or criticism, fear of failure or making mistakes, fear of being vulnerable or exposed on stage, or even fear of success and the pressure that comes with it. These anxieties can take a toll on an actor's confidence, self-esteem, and overall well-being.
For actors, stage fright and performance anxiety can be caused by a multitude of factors. Past negative experiences on stage, such as forgetting lines or receiving harsh criticism, can create a fear of repeating those mistakes. The pressure to meet high expectations, either from themselves or others, can also contribute to performance anxiety. Additionally, the fear of judgment and rejection from the audience or fellow actors can add to the overall anxiety.
Understanding the nuances and causes of stage fright and performance anxiety is essential for actors seeking to overcome these challenges. By gaining insight into the root causes and triggers of their fears, actors can begin to develop strategies to manage and alleviate their anxiety. This is where therapy, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), can play a crucial role in helping actors overcome stage fright and performance anxiety.
In the next sections of this blog post, we will explore the benefits of EMDR therapy for actors struggling with stage fright. We will delve into how EMDR therapy works, the specific ways it can help actors tackle their performance anxiety and manage their fears, and provide case studies on the effectiveness of EMDR therapy for actors. Finally, we will offer practical tips for actors dealing with stage fright and performance anxiety, providing actionable steps to help them on their journey towards confident and successful performances.

Manifestations of stage fright and performance anxiety in actors

therapy for actors

Actors are no strangers to the overwhelming fear and anxiety that can come with stepping onto a stage. Stage fright and performance anxiety can manifest in various ways, and understanding these manifestations is crucial for actors seeking to overcome these challenges.
One common manifestation of stage fright is physical symptoms. As the spotlight shines, an actor's heart may start racing, their hands may shake uncontrollably, and sweat may drip down their forehead. These physical manifestations can be not only uncomfortable but also distracting, making it difficult for actors to focus on their performance. In addition, stage fright can lead to a dry mouth, causing difficulty in delivering lines or singing. These physical symptoms can further exacerbate an actor's anxiety, creating a cycle of fear and self-doubt.


Performance anxiety, on the other hand, can encompass a broader range of manifestations. The fear of judgment and criticism from the audience or fellow actors can cause actors to constantly second-guess themselves, leading to a lack of confidence in their abilities. This self-doubt can also lead to a fear of making mistakes or forgetting lines, which can further contribute to anxiety during a performance.
In some cases, performance anxiety can be so overwhelming that it causes actors to freeze or experience a mental block while on stage. This can result in an actor completely forgetting their lines, blocking, or even their own identity. These moments of mental paralysis can be extremely distressing for actors, and the fear of experiencing them can become a significant source of anxiety in itself.
It's important to note that the manifestations of stage fright and performance anxiety can vary from person to person. Some actors may experience a combination of physical symptoms and mental distress, while others may predominantly struggle with the psychological aspects of anxiety. Understanding these various manifestations is key in addressing and overcoming stage fright and performance anxiety.
In the following sections, we will delve deeper into the causes of stage fright and performance anxiety, and explore how Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy can help actors manage and alleviate their fears. Stay tuned to learn more about the power of EMDR in overcoming stage fright and performance anxiety in actors.

Causes of stage fright and performance anxiety


Stage fright and performance anxiety in actors can be caused by a variety of factors, each contributing to the individual's unique experience of fear and anxiety on stage. These causes can range from past negative experiences to high expectations and fear of judgment.
One common cause of stage fright is the memory of past negative experiences. For actors who have forgotten lines, received harsh criticism, or faced other challenges on stage, the fear of repeating these mistakes can become overwhelming. These past experiences create a fear of failure and can lead to heightened anxiety before and during performances.
Additionally, the pressure to meet high expectations, whether from themselves or others, can contribute to performance anxiety. Actors may feel the weight of delivering a flawless performance or living up to the standards set by their colleagues or audience. The fear of falling short of these expectations can lead to self-doubt and heightened anxiety.

Another cause of stage fright and performance anxiety is the fear of judgment and rejection. Actors may worry about being scrutinized by the audience or their fellow actors, fearing criticism or rejection. This fear can be especially strong for actors who have experienced past judgment or negative feedback.
EMDR therapy can help address these causes of stage fright and performance anxiety by providing a safe space to explore and process the underlying emotions and beliefs associated with these experiences. EMDR therapy for actors focuses on reprocessing and reframing these memories, allowing the individual to develop a healthier perspective and reduce the emotional and psychological impact of past negative experiences.

Therapy for actors also helps challenge and replace negative beliefs and thought patterns. By identifying and addressing self-limiting beliefs, such as fear of failure or judgment, actors can develop positive and empowering beliefs that enhance their confidence and self-esteem on stage.

Overall, EMDR therapy offers actors the opportunity to delve into the causes of their stage fright and performance anxiety, providing the tools and support needed to overcome these challenges and thrive in their performances. By addressing these underlying causes, actors can reclaim their stage and find freedom and joy in their craft.

Understanding EMDR Therapy


EMDR therapy, or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing therapy, is a powerful and effective treatment option for actors struggling with stage fright and performance anxiety. Developed in the late 1980s, EMDR therapy was initially designed to treat post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). However, it has since been recognized for its effectiveness in treating a range of psychological issues, including anxiety disorders, phobias, and performance anxiety.
At its core, EMDR therapy is based on the concept that unresolved past experiences and trauma can contribute to emotional and psychological distress. During an EMDR session, the therapist guides the client through a series of bilateral eye movements, taps, or sounds, while simultaneously asking the client to focus on distressing memories or negative beliefs associated with their stage fright or performance anxiety. This process helps to stimulate the brain's natural healing abilities, allowing the client to process and reframe these experiences in a more adaptive and empowering way.
EMDR therapy works by targeting the underlying causes and triggers of stage fright and performance anxiety. By addressing past negative experiences, such as forgetting lines or receiving harsh criticism, EMDR therapy helps actors reprocess and reframe these memories, reducing the emotional and psychological impact they have on their present-day performance anxiety. This therapy also aims to identify and challenge negative beliefs and thought patterns, such as fear of failure or fear of judgment, that contribute to stage fright. By replacing these negative beliefs with positive and empowering ones, actors can regain confidence in their abilities and overcome their anxieties.
Furthermore, EMDR therapy can help actors develop coping strategies and skills to manage their stage fright and performance anxiety in the moment. Through various techniques, such as grounding exercises, relaxation techniques, and visualization, actors can learn to regulate their emotions and stay present during performances. These skills can be invaluable in reducing anxiety and enabling actors to deliver confident and successful performances.
Overall, EMDR therapy offers actors struggling with stage fright and performance anxiety a powerful tool for healing and growth. By addressing the root causes of their anxieties, reprocessing negative experiences, and developing effective coping strategies, actors can overcome their fears and step into their performances with confidence and resilience. With the help of EMDR therapy, actors can reclaim their stage and unleash their full artistic potential.

How EMDR Therapy can benefit actors with stage fright


Actors struggling with stage fright can find relief and healing through Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. EMDR offers a range of benefits specifically tailored to help actors overcome their performance anxiety and manage their fears.
First and foremost, EMDR therapy targets the root causes and triggers of stage fright. By delving into past negative experiences, such as forgetting lines or receiving harsh criticism, EMDR allows actors to reprocess and reframe these memories. This reprocessing helps reduce the emotional and psychological impact these experiences have on their present-day performance anxiety. As a result, actors can develop a healthier perspective on these past challenges and move forward with greater confidence.
In addition to addressing past experiences, EMDR therapy also aims to challenge negative beliefs and thought patterns that contribute to stage fright. Through targeted techniques, such as cognitive restructuring, actors can identify and replace self-limiting beliefs with positive and empowering ones. This shift in mindset can have a profound impact on an actor's confidence and self-esteem, allowing them to embrace their talent and abilities.
Moreover, EMDR therapy equips actors with practical coping strategies and skills to manage their stage fright in the moment. Through various techniques, such as grounding exercises and relaxation techniques, actors learn to regulate their emotions and stay present during performances. By developing these skills, actors can reduce anxiety and stay focused on delivering their best performance.
The benefits of EMDR therapy extend beyond just managing stage fright. EMDR can also help actors address any underlying trauma or unresolved issues that may contribute to their anxiety. By healing and resolving these deeper emotional wounds, actors can experience a greater sense of overall well-being, leading to more authentic and connected performances.

The science behind how EMDR helps actors struggling with stage fright


EMDR therapy is rooted in a deep understanding of how the brain processes and stores traumatic or distressing memories. When we experience a traumatic event, our brains often struggle to fully process and integrate the information, causing the memory to remain stuck and triggering intense emotional responses. EMDR therapy helps to reprocess these memories by activating bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements, which mimics the natural healing process that occurs during REM sleep. This bilateral stimulation helps to desensitize the distressing memories and allows the brain to create new connections and associations that are more adaptive and positive.
For actors struggling with stage fright, EMDR therapy can be particularly beneficial. By specifically targeting the underlying causes of performance anxiety, such as past negative experiences or self-limiting beliefs, EMDR helps actors reprocess and reframe these memories. This allows them to develop healthier perspectives and reduce the emotional and psychological impact of these experiences on their current performance anxiety.
Furthermore, EMDR therapy helps to strengthen the connection between the rational and emotional parts of the brain. This integration allows actors to better regulate their emotions and manage their fears during performances. By providing a safe and structured environment, EMDR therapy for actors creates opportunities for healing, growth, and increased self-confidence.
Overall, the science behind how EMDR helps actors with stage fright is rooted in the brain's capacity to reprocess and heal from traumatic or distressing memories. Through targeted bilateral stimulation and the reprocessing of negative experiences, EMDR therapy enables actors to overcome their fears, develop resilience, and reclaim their confidence on stage.

Case Studies on the Effectiveness of EMDR Therapy for actors

emdr for stage fright

In our exploration of the benefits of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy for actors struggling with stage fright, it's important to examine real-life case studies that demonstrate the effectiveness of this therapeutic approach. EMDR has shown remarkable results in helping actors overcome their performance anxiety and reclaim their confidence on stage. Let's delve into a few case studies that highlight the power of EMDR in transforming the lives and careers of actors.



Case Study 1:
John, a seasoned actor, had been struggling with debilitating stage fright for years. Whenever he stepped onto the stage, his heart would race, his hands would tremble, and he would become overwhelmed with fear. Through EMDR therapy, John was able to uncover the root cause of his stage fright – a traumatic childhood experience where he had been publicly ridiculed during a school play. With the help of EMDR, John was able to reprocess this memory and develop a new, empowering belief about himself as an actor. After completing several sessions of EMDR therapy, John noticed a significant decrease in his anxiety and was able to step onto the stage with confidence once again.
Case Study 2:
Samantha, a young aspiring actress, had always struggled with feelings of self-doubt and anxiety when performing. She had a fear of judgment and felt constantly scrutinized by the audience and her fellow actors. EMDR therapy allowed Samantha to confront and challenge her negative beliefs about herself as an actress. Through the reprocessing of past experiences and the development of positive self-beliefs, Samantha's confidence began to soar. She discovered a newfound ability to embrace her unique talent and perform authentically. EMDR therapy not only helped Samantha overcome her performance anxiety but also enabled her to pursue her acting career with renewed passion and determination.
Case Study 3:
Michael, an experienced actor, had developed a fear of success that was hindering his ability to fully engage with his performances. He was constantly worried about meeting the high expectations placed upon him and feared the pressure that came with success. EMDR therapy helped Michael address the underlying insecurities and self-doubt that were fueling his fear of success. By reprocessing past experiences and reframing negative beliefs, Michael was able to cultivate a mindset of self-acceptance and self-worth. As a result, he felt more confident taking risks on stage and embracing the opportunities that came his way.

Tips for Actors Dealing with Stage Fright and Performance Anxiety


If you're an actor struggling with stage fright or performance anxiety, know that you're not alone. Many actors face these challenges and have found ways to overcome them. Here are some tips to help you navigate and manage your stage fright and performance anxiety:

  1. Acknowledge your fears: It's important to recognize and acknowledge your fears rather than suppressing or ignoring them. By accepting that you have stage fright or performance anxiety, you can begin to address and work through it.
  2. Practice deep breathing and relaxation techniques: Deep breathing exercises can help calm your nerves and reduce anxiety. Before going on stage, take a few moments to focus on your breath, inhaling deeply through your nose and exhaling slowly through your mouth. Additionally, practicing relaxation techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation or visualization can help alleviate tension and promote a sense of calm.
  3. Challenge negative thoughts: Negative thoughts and self-doubt can exacerbate stage fright and performance anxiety. Challenge these thoughts by replacing them with positive affirmations and beliefs. Remind yourself of past successes and the unique talents and skills you bring to your performances.
  4. Prepare and rehearse: The more prepared you feel for your performance, the more confident you'll be on stage. Dedicate ample time to practice and rehearse your lines, blocking, and movements. The more familiar you are with your material, the less likely you'll be to experience anxiety.
  5. Seek support from fellow actors or a therapist: Talking to other actors who have experienced stage fright or performance anxiety can be immensely helpful. They can offer advice, share coping strategies, and provide a supportive community. Additionally, consider seeking therapy, such as EMDR, to work through underlying issues and develop effective techniques for managing anxiety.
  6. Focus on the present moment: When you step on stage, try to stay present and focus on the present moment. Avoid getting caught up in thoughts about past performances or worrying about future ones. Instead, direct your attention to the scene at hand, your fellow actors, and the connection with your audience.
  7. Embrace vulnerability: Remember that vulnerability is an integral part of acting. Embrace the opportunity to express yourself authentically on stage and connect with your audience. Recognize that imperfections are part of the creative process and that they can add depth and humanity to your performance.
    By implementing these tips, you can start to manage your stage fright and performance anxiety and find more confidence in your abilities as an actor.

As always if you feel you would benefit for additional support give our office a call at 631-503-1539 or fill out a consultation form.

Sending Love & Light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

We've all felt it: that nagging sense of self-doubt that holds us back from achieving our goals. It's called imposter syndrome, and it can be debilitating. But there is hope. In this blog post, I'm going to provide you with five proven techniques to help you crush your doubts and overcome imposter syndrome. So if you're ready to feel empowered and move forward, keep reading!

1) Understanding Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where individuals doubt their accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. Despite evidence of their skills and achievements, people experiencing imposter syndrome are convinced that they are undeserving of their success and attribute it to luck or external factors. This internal struggle often leads to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and anxiety.

Imposter syndrome can affect anyone, regardless of their level of success or competence. It is especially prevalent among high achievers, perfectionists, and individuals who constantly strive for success. The pressure to meet high expectations, coupled with a fear of failure, fuels imposter syndrome.

Understanding imposter syndrome is the first step towards overcoming it. By recognizing that these feelings are common and not exclusive to oneself, individuals can gain a sense of relief and realize that they are not alone in their struggles. It is essential to remind ourselves that success is often the result of hard work, dedication, and talent.

By educating ourselves about imposter syndrome and its impact on our mental well-being, we can begin to challenge the negative thoughts and beliefs that fuel it. Taking the time to understand the psychological aspects of imposter syndromecan provide a fresh perspective and allow individuals to regain control over their self-perception.

2) Recognizing the Signs of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is a common phenomenon that affects many individuals, causing them to doubt their abilities and feel like a fraud. It can be a debilitating experience that holds people back from reaching their full potential. Recognizing the signs of imposter syndrome is an important step towards overcoming it.

One common sign of imposter syndrome is the feeling of inadequacy, despite evidence of accomplishments and success. Individuals with imposter syndrome often attribute their achievements to luck or external factors, rather than their own abilities and hard work. They constantly fear being exposed as a fraud and worry that others will realize they are not as competent as they appear.

Another sign of imposter syndrome is a constant need for validation and approval from others. Individuals with imposter syndrome seek reassurance and affirmation from others to feel worthy and capable. They often believe that their achievements are not deserved and fear being criticized or judged.

Perfectionism is also closely associated with imposter syndrome. People with imposter syndrome often set unrealistically high standards for themselves and strive for perfection in everything they do. They are afraid of making mistakes or falling short of expectations, leading to feelings of anxiety and self-doubt.

Additionally, imposter syndrome often leads to a fear of failure. Individuals may avoid taking on new challenges or opportunities out of fear of being exposed as a fraud. They may underestimate their abilities and shy away from stepping outside of their comfort zones.

Recognizing these signs of imposter syndrome is the first step towards overcoming it. By becoming aware of these patterns and understanding that they are common experiences, individuals can start to challenge their negative self-perceptions and work towards building self-confidence and embracing their achievements.

3) Techniques to Overcome Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome is a common phenomenon that affects many individuals, making them doubt their own abilities and feel like a fraud despite evidence of their success. Fortunately, several techniques can help individuals overcome imposter syndrome and regain their self-confidence.

1. Reframe your mindset: Instead of focusing on your perceived shortcomings, reframe your thoughts to recognize your strengths and achievements. Remind yourself of the hard work and dedication that has brought you to where you are today.

2. Seek support: Surround yourself with a supportive network of friends, family, and colleagues who can offer encouragement and reassurance. Share your feelings and experiences with others who may have experienced imposter syndrome themselves, and learn from their strategies for overcoming it.

3. Challenge your inner critic: Pay attention to your self-talk and challenge the negative thoughts and beliefs that contribute to imposter syndrome. Replace self-doubt with positive affirmations and remind yourself that you are capable and deserving of success.

4. Set realistic goals: Break down big tasks into smaller, achievable goals. By setting realistic goals and focusing on one step at a time, you can build a sense of accomplishment and confidence in your abilities.

5. Practice self-care: Take care of your physical and mental well-being by engaging in activities that help reduce stress and promote relaxation. This could include exercise, meditation, or hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment.

By implementing these techniques, individuals can overcome imposter syndrome and develop a stronger sense of self-worth. Remember, you are not alone in experiencing imposter syndrome, and with the right strategies and support, you can overcome it and embrace your achievements with confidence.

4) Building Self-Confidence

One of the most effective ways to combat imposter syndrome is by building self-confidence. When you believe in yourself and your abilities, it becomes much easier to silence the negative thoughts and doubts that come with imposter syndrome.

To build self-confidence, start by acknowledging your accomplishments and strengths. Make a list of all the achievements, big or small, that you have accomplished throughout your life. This exercise will help you realize just how capable you are and give you a confidence boost.

Additionally, surround yourself with supportive and positive people. Seek out mentors or friends who believe in your abilities and can provide encouragement when imposter syndrome rears its ugly head. Surrounding yourself with positivity can help counteract any negative self-talk that may contribute to imposter syndrome.

Another technique to build self-confidence is to challenge your negative thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself doubting your abilities or feeling like a fraud, ask yourself for evidence that supports these thoughts. Often, you will find that there is no substantial evidence to support your doubts, and this realization can help shift your mindset and boost your self-confidence.

Finally, practice self-care and self-compassion. Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally is essential for building self-confidence. Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and be kind to yourself when you make mistakes or face setbacks. Remember that everyone experiences imposter syndrome at times, and you are not alone in this struggle.

By actively working on building self-confidence, you can overcome imposter syndrome and embrace your true capabilities. Remember, you are talented, skilled, and deserving of success. So, go out there and conquer your goals with confidence!

5) Celebrating Your Accomplishments

Imposter syndrome can often make us feel like we are undeserving of our achievements. We might downplay our accomplishments or attribute them to luck or external factors. However, one effective way to combat imposter syndromeis by celebrating our accomplishments.

Take a moment to reflect on all the hard work and effort you put into achieving your goals. Recognize that your success is a result of your skills, knowledge, and determination. Give yourself credit for the obstacles you overcame and the challenges you conquered along the way.

Celebrating your accomplishments can boost your self-confidence and help you realize your true worth. It serves as a reminder that you are capable and deserving of the recognition and opportunities that come your way. It also encourages a positive mindset and empowers you to continue striving for excellence.

Celebrate your accomplishments by sharing them with others. Share your achievements with friends, family, or colleagues who can appreciate and acknowledge your hard work. By vocalizing your successes, you not only inspire others but also reinforce your own self-belief.

Lastly, don't forget to reward yourself for your achievements. Treat yourself to something special, whether it's a small indulgence or a larger reward. This not only provides a sense of satisfaction but also serves as a reminder that you deserve to be celebrated.

Remember, imposter syndrome is a common experience, but you have the power to overcome it. By celebrating your accomplishments, you can reaffirm your worth and build the self-confidence necessary to conquer any doubts or insecurities that come your way.

Book With a Therapist Today

imposter syndrome

If you are struggling with imposter syndrome and need support, please do not hesitate to contact us. We understand how debilitating imposter syndrome can be and we are here to help you overcome it. One effective technique that we offer is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). This therapy has proven to be highly successful in working through imposter syndrome in a short period of time.

Our team consists of experienced clinicians who specialize in addressing imposter syndrome, particularly for entrepreneurs and career-focused individuals. We have seen firsthand the impact that imposter syndrome can have on one's professional life, and we are committed to helping you regain your self-confidence and achieve your goals.

By booking a session with one of our therapists, you will have the opportunity to explore the root causes of your imposter syndrome and develop strategies to overcome it. Our therapists create a safe and non-judgmental space where you can freely express your fears and doubts. Through various therapeutic techniques, we will work together to reframe negative thoughts, challenge self-limiting beliefs, and cultivate a strong sense of self-worth.

Do not let imposter syndrome hold you back any longer. Take the first step towards reclaiming your confidence and achieving your true potential. Book a session with one of our therapists today and start your journey toward overcoming imposter syndrome. You deserve to live a life free from self-doubt and fear.

Sending Love & Light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

People pleasing is a common phenomenon in our society today, yet its hidden costs are often overlooked. It can come from our upbringing and cultural norms, and can lead to detrimental effects on one’s mental and emotional well-being. In this blog post, we will explore the costs of people pleasing, how our upbringing and cultural norms can lead to it, and how EMDR can help people work through these tendencies. People pleasing can be a difficult habit to break, but recognizing and understanding the underlying causes and hidden costs can be a powerful first step towards changing it.

Understanding People Pleasing


People pleasing is a behavior pattern that involves sacrificing one's own needs and desires in order to gain the approval of others. While wanting to make others happy is not inherently bad, constantly putting the needs of others above your own can have negative effects on your mental and emotional health.
At its core, people pleasing stems from a fear of rejection or a desire for acceptance. Those who struggle with people pleasing often have low self-esteem and feel that they need external validation to feel good about themselves. They may also fear that if they don't please others, they will be rejected or abandoned.
While people pleasing is often seen as a personality trait, it is actually a learned behavior. Children who are raised in homes where there is a lot of emphasis placed on pleasing others or avoiding conflict may develop people pleasing tendencies as a way to cope with their environment. Similarly, cultural norms and societal expectations can also contribute to the development of people pleasing behaviors. For example, women are often socialized to be nurturing and selfless, which can lead to a tendency to put others' needs before their own.
While people pleasing can sometimes result in positive outcomes, such as maintaining healthy relationships, it can also have serious negative consequences. People pleasers may become so focused on pleasing others that they lose touch with their own wants and needs, leading to feelings of resentment and burnout. They may also experience anxiety and depression as a result of constantly trying to meet the expectations of others.
In addition to these emotional costs, people pleasing can also hurt one's physical health. Chronic stress, which can be a result of trying to constantly please others, has been linked to a variety of health problems, including heart disease and immune system dysfunction.
So what can be done to break the cycle of people pleasing? One effective approach is eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy. EMDR can help individuals identify the underlying causes of their people pleasing tendencies, such as past traumas or negative beliefs about themselves. By processing these experiences and beliefs, individuals can learn to value their own needs and desires, and to set boundaries that allow them to live more fulfilling lives.

Where Does People Pleasing Stem From?


People pleasing is a common trait that can often be found in individuals who struggle with asserting themselves and setting healthy boundaries. It’s important to recognize that this behavior stems from a variety of sources and can manifest in different ways for each individual.
For some, people pleasing may stem from a fear of rejection or abandonment. This fear may be rooted in childhood experiences, such as growing up in a household where one parent was absent or where there was a lack of emotional support and validation. Children who grow up in environments like this may have learned that the only way to receive attention and love is by pleasing others. As a result, they may carry this behavior into their adult relationships.
Cultural norms can also play a significant role in developing people pleasing tendencies. In some cultures, it is considered impolite or rude to assert oneself and speak up for their own needs. The emphasis on collectivism over individualism can also contribute to people pleasing behaviors. In these cultures, putting others’ needs before one’s own is often seen as a sign of respect and humility.
Additionally, social conditioning can lead to people pleasing. In our society, we are often told that it’s important to be agreeable and that saying “yes” is the right thing to do. We’re taught that being helpful and accommodating to others is the key to success and happiness. Unfortunately, this messaging can make it challenging to set boundaries and say “no” when necessary, as it goes against the social norms we’ve been taught.
Ultimately, people pleasing behavior can have a significant impact on one’s mental health and well-being. The constant need to please others and put their needs before your own can lead to feelings of resentment, stress, and anxiety. This behavior can also lead to unhealthy relationships, as people pleasers may attract individuals who take advantage of their desire to please.
Fortunately, there are techniques and therapies that can help individuals work through people pleasing tendencies and set healthy boundaries. One effective therapy is EMDR, which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. EMDR is a therapy that focuses on processing and resolving past experiences that contribute to current emotional and behavioral patterns.
During EMDR therapy, a therapist helps individuals identify the specific events and beliefs that contribute to their people pleasing behavior. They then use eye movement or other forms of bilateral stimulation to help the individual reprocess these memories in a safe and controlled environment. Over time, this can lead to a reduction in people pleasing behaviors and an increase in self-confidence and assertiveness.
Overall, people pleasing behavior can be challenging to overcome, but it is possible.

The Role of Upbringing and Cultural Norms in Developing People Pleasing Tendencies


The development of people pleasing tendencies often has deep roots in our upbringing and cultural norms. Children who grow up in homes where there is an emphasis on obedience, conformity, and putting others' needs before their own can often become conditioned to seek validation and approval from others. Similarly, in certain cultures, there is a high value placed on the concept of harmony and avoiding conflict, which can lead to a pattern of people pleasing.
In many households, children are taught from a young age that pleasing others is more important than satisfying their own desires. For example, a child may be rewarded for cleaning their room or doing well in school, but may not receive praise for pursuing their own passions or standing up for themselves. This kind of behavior can set the stage for a lifetime of people pleasing, as the child grows up seeking validation and approval from others to feel successful.
Additionally, certain cultural norms can also reinforce the concept of people pleasing. In collectivist cultures, the importance of the group outweighs the importance of the individual, leading individuals to prioritize maintaining positive relationships with others. In these cultures, conflict is often avoided, and the emphasis is on creating a harmonious environment for everyone. As a result, individuals who grow up in these cultures may become conditioned to seek approval from others and avoid confrontation at all costs.
However, the constant need to please others can take a toll on one's mental health and well-being. The fear of rejection and disapproval can lead to anxiety, stress, and a sense of low self-worth. People pleasing can also be a drain on one's time and energy, as individuals are constantly prioritizing others' needs over their own. It can lead to burnout and leave individuals feeling resentful and unfulfilled.
Fortunately, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy can be an effective treatment for working through people pleasing tendencies. EMDR is a psychotherapy technique that focuses on processing past traumatic experiences that may be impacting one's present-day behaviors. By addressing the underlying beliefs and experiences that are contributing to the pattern of people pleasing, individuals can develop healthier coping mechanisms and learn to prioritize their own needs.

The Cost of People Pleasing


While it may seem like people pleasing is a harmless habit, it can have a serious impact on your mental health and well-being. Constantly putting the needs of others before your own can lead to feelings of burnout, resentment, and low self-esteem. In this section, we will explore some of the costs associated with people pleasing and how it can negatively impact your life.

  1. Anxiety and Stress
    People pleasing often stems from a fear of rejection or a desire to be liked and accepted by others. However, constantly seeking approval and validation from others can lead to feelings of anxiety and stress. The fear of saying no or disappointing someone can result in feelings of overwhelming pressure, leading to sleepless nights and a constant feeling of being on edge.
  2. Difficulty Making Decisions
    When you're a people pleaser, making decisions can become a daunting task. Constantly worrying about what others will think can lead to analysis paralysis, making it challenging to make even the most basic of decisions. This can be incredibly frustrating and lead to feelings of powerlessness and helplessness.
  3. Neglecting Your Own Needs
    People pleasing often comes at the cost of neglecting your own needs. When you're constantly putting others first, it's easy to forget to prioritize your own self-care, resulting in a host of physical and mental health issues. This can include things like neglecting to exercise, skipping meals, and neglecting to set healthy boundaries.
  4. Damaged Relationships
    While it may seem counterintuitive, constantly putting others first can actually damage your relationships in the long run. When you're not being true to yourself and your needs, it's impossible to build genuine, authentic connections with others. You may end up resenting those you're trying to please, leading to conflict and damaged relationships.
  5. Loss of Self-Identity
    Lastly, people pleasing can result in a loss of self-identity. Constantly trying to be what others want you to be can lead to a loss of individuality and a lack of personal growth. Over time, you may forget who you are and what you stand for, leading to a deep sense of dissatisfaction and unfulfillment.
    If you recognize any of these costs in your life, it's important to take action. Seeking the help of a trained professional, such as an EMDR therapist, can help you identify and work through your people pleasing tendencies. With time, patience, and support, you can break free from this habit and rediscover your sense of self.

How EMDR Can Help You Work Through People Pleasing Tendencies


People pleasing tendencies are often deeply ingrained and can be challenging to overcome. However, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy can help you work through these tendencies and find healthier ways to interact with others.
EMDR is a type of therapy that focuses on processing past traumas and negative experiences. During an EMDR session, you'll be guided through a series of eye movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation. This process can help reduce the intensity of negative emotions associated with past experiences, allowing you to process them more effectively.
One of the ways EMDR can be helpful for people pleasers is by uncovering and addressing any underlying traumas or negative beliefs that contribute to their people pleasing behavior. For example, if you were raised in an environment where your worth was tied to your ability to please others, this belief may be at the root of your people pleasing tendencies. EMDR can help you identify these beliefs and work through them, allowing you to develop healthier patterns of behavior.
EMDR can also help people pleasers develop better boundaries and assertiveness skills. In EMDR sessions, you may work on visualizing yourself in situations where you would normally feel compelled to please others, and then practice setting boundaries and communicating your needs. Through this process, you'll learn to prioritize your own well-being while still maintaining positive relationships with others.
Finally, EMDR can help people pleasers develop greater self-compassion and self-esteem. People pleasing often stems from a lack of self-worth and a belief that our value lies in our ability to make others happy. Through EMDR, you'll learn to challenge these negative beliefs and develop a more positive sense of self. As you begin to prioritize your own needs and recognize your own inherent worth, you'll find that people pleasing becomes less of a compulsion and more of a choice. If you want to meet with someone for assistance working through this- fill out a consultation form.

Sending Love & Light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

Recovering from narcissistic abuse can be a long and difficult journey. It can be especially hard to rebuild your self-worth after an emotionally abusive relationship. Narcissistic abuse can leave deep scars, causing emotional trauma that can affect your self-esteem, world-view, and sense of self and agency. It is important to seek help from a trauma therapist who can provide guidance and support throughout the healing process. In this blog post, we will explore the effects of narcissistic abuse, provide tips for overcoming it, and offer advice on how to reclaim your self-worth.

Understanding Narcissistic Abuse From the Perspective of a Trauma Therapist

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional manipulation and control that can have devastating effects on the victim's mental and emotional well-being. It occurs when an individual with narcissistic traits uses tactics such as gaslighting, belittling, and demeaning behavior to exert power and control over their partner or loved one.

To truly understand narcissistic abuse, it is important to recognize that it is not a normal or healthy dynamic in a relationship. Unlike other types of abuse where physical violence is prevalent, narcissistic abuse is often more subtle and insidious, making it difficult for victims to recognize and address.

If you suspect you may have been a victim of narcissistic abuse, seeking the support of a trauma therapist can be incredibly beneficial. They can provide you with a safe space to explore your experiences, validate your feelings, and help you navigate the healing process.

By understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, victims can begin to make sense of their experiences and the effects it has had on their self-worth and sense of self. It is crucial to remember that narcissistic abuse is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person, but rather a result of the abuser's own insecurities and need for control.

Reclaiming your self-worth after narcissistic abuse is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and support. By understanding the nature of narcissistic abuse and seeking professional help, you can begin the process of healing and rebuilding a healthy and loving relationship with yourself.

The Effects of Narcissistic Abuse on Self-Esteem

Narcissistic abuse can have a profound impact on a person's self-esteem. When trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship, the victim is constantly subjected to manipulation, gaslighting, and belittlement. Over time, these tactics erode their self-worth and leave them feeling powerless and inadequate.

One of the key ways in which narcissistic abuse affects self-esteem is by instilling a deep sense of shame and self-doubt. The victim may internalize the abuser's criticisms and begin to believe that they are inherently flawed or unworthy. This can lead to a constant need for validation and approval from others, as well as a persistent fear of making mistakes or being rejected.

Furthermore, narcissistic abuse often leaves the victim feeling isolated and disconnected from their own needs and desires. They may have been conditioned to prioritize the needs and wants of the abuser, neglecting their own in the process. This can result in a loss of identity and a profound sense of emptiness.

Recovering from the effects of narcissistic abuse requires a multi-faceted approach. Seeking support from a trauma therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse can be incredibly helpful. Through therapy, victims can begin to unpack the trauma, gain insight into the abusive dynamics, and rebuild their self-esteem.

Additionally, engaging in self-care practices, setting healthy boundaries, and surrounding oneself with supportive and understanding individuals can also aid in the healing process. Reclaiming self-worth after narcissistic abuse is a journey, but with time and the right resources, it is possible to regain a sense of confidence and agency.

How Narcissistic Abuse Distorts Your World-View

Narcissistic abuse has a profound impact on how survivors perceive the world around them. It distorts their world-view in insidious ways, leaving them feeling confused, invalidated, and constantly on edge. The manipulation tactics used by narcissists can create a distorted reality for their victims, causing them to question their own sanity and judgment.

One of the ways narcissistic abuse distorts a survivor's world-view is by eroding their sense of trust. After being subjected to constant gaslighting and manipulation, survivors may struggle to trust their own instincts and perceptions. They may become hyper-vigilant, constantly second-guessing themselves and their interpretations of events.

Furthermore, narcissistic abuse can leave survivors with a distorted sense of self. The constant belittling, devaluation, and invalidation can erode their self-worth and self-esteem. They may start to internalize the narcissist's negative view of them, believing that they are unworthy, inadequate, or unlovable. This distorted self-image can permeate every aspect of their lives, leading to feelings of worthlessness and despair.

Additionally, narcissistic abuse can skew a survivor's perception of relationships and love. The manipulative tactics used by narcissists can leave survivors feeling wary and distrustful of others. They may struggle to form healthy and genuine connections, always fearing that they will be taken advantage of or hurt.

It is crucial for survivors to seek support from a trauma therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse. These professionals can help survivors unpack the trauma they have experienced and reframe their world-view. Through therapy, survivors can gain insight into the tactics used by narcissists and begin to heal from the distorted reality they have been subjected to. With time, patience, and support, survivors can regain a more accurate and empowering world-view.

Rebuilding Your Sense of Self and Agency

After enduring narcissistic abuse, it is crucial to rebuild your sense of self and agency. This process can be challenging and may require the support of a trauma therapist or counselor who specializes in narcissistic abuse. They can help you navigate through the layers of manipulation and regain a solid foundation of self-worth.

One important aspect of rebuilding your sense of self is reconnecting with your own needs and desires. Narcissistic abuseoften leaves survivors feeling disconnected from their true selves, as they have been conditioned to prioritize the needs and wants of their abuser. By rediscovering your own passions and interests, you can begin to rebuild a sense of identity that is independent from the abuse.

Furthermore, it is essential to surround yourself with a supportive network of friends and loved ones who validate your experiences and provide a safe space for healing. Connecting with others who have experienced narcissistic abuse can also be empowering, as it allows you to share your story and gain insights from those who truly understand.

Reclaiming your agency involves setting boundaries and prioritizing your own well-being. This may require learning to say no, asserting your needs, and practicing self-care. Engaging in activities that make you feel confident and empowered can also contribute to rebuilding your sense of agency.

Remember, healing from narcissistic abuse is a journey, and it takes time and patience. By seeking professional help, reconnecting with yourself, and cultivating a supportive community, you can reclaim your sense of self-worth and live a fulfilling life free from the grip of narcissistic abuse.

Trauma Therapist Tips for Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse

Recovering from narcissistic abuse is a journey that requires patience, self-compassion, and a commitment to healing. Here are some essential tips to help you overcome the effects of narcissistic abuse and reclaim your self-worth:

1. Educate Yourself: Learn about narcissistic abuse and its tactics. Understanding the dynamics of the relationship will help you gain clarity and perspective on the abuse you experienced.

2. Seek Support: Reach out to a trusted support system that believes and validates your experiences. Surrounding yourself with empathetic and understanding individuals will help you rebuild your self-esteem and challenge any self-blame or doubt.

3. Set Boundaries: Establishing and enforcing healthy boundaries is crucial in recovering from narcissistic abuse. Learn to recognize red flags and protect yourself from further harm.

4. Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care activities that promote healing and self-love. Engage in activities that bring you joy, whether it's journaling, painting, exercising, or meditating. Remember, self-care is not selfish but a necessary step in your healing journey.

5. Consider Therapy: Working with a trauma therapist who specializes in narcissistic abuse can provide invaluable guidance and support. They can help you process the trauma, heal emotional wounds, and develop healthier relationship patterns.

6. Find Resources: If you are still in an abusive situation, reach out to local domestic violence organizations or helplines for support and resources. If you live on Long Island VIBS is a great resource for anyone in a domestic violence situation and they are entirely free! They can provide you with safety plans and information on legal options.

Remember, overcoming narcissistic abuse takes time and patience. Be gentle with yourself and celebrate even the smallest victories along the way. You deserve to heal and reclaim your self-worth.

Sending Love & Light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

Therapy is a powerful tool to help individuals achieve inner peace and calm. In our modern lives, it can be difficult to find ways to manage stress and anxiety that can leave us feeling overwhelmed. Through therapy, it is possible to unlock inner calm and find ways to cope with the pressures of life. This blog post will explore how therapy can be an effective way to reduce stress and promote overall well-being.

The Importance of Inner Calm

n today's fast-paced and stressful world, finding inner peace and calm is more crucial than ever. Inner calm is not just a luxury; it is a necessity for our mental and emotional well-being. When we are constantly overwhelmed and anxious, it takes a toll on our health and happiness.

This is where therapy can play a significant role in helping us achieve that much-needed inner calm. Therapy provides a safe and supportive environment where we can explore our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It helps us gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and the root causes of our anxiety and stress.

Through therapy, we can learn various techniques and strategies to manage our emotions and find peace within ourselves. These techniques can range from mindfulness and meditation practices to cognitive-behavioral therapy and relaxation exercises. Therapists are trained to provide guidance and support, tailoring their approach to the specific needs and preferences of each individual.

Inner calm is not just about the absence of stress or external challenges. It is about cultivating a sense of balance, tranquility, and resilience in the face of life's ups and downs. Therapy can help us develop coping mechanisms, improve self-awareness, and reframe negative thought patterns that contribute to our inner turmoil.

Prioritizing our mental health and seeking therapy is an act of self-care and self-love. It is an investment in our overall well-being and our ability to navigate life's challenges with grace and resilience. So, if you find yourself constantly overwhelmed or struggling to find inner peace, therapy can be the stepping stone towards unlocking the calm you deserve.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy is a powerful tool that can help individuals unlock their inner calm and find peace in their lives. Many people struggle with feelings of anxiety, stress, and overwhelm, and therapy provides a safe and supportive space to explore and address these challenges.

One of the key ways that therapy can help is by providing individuals with the opportunity to gain insight into the root causes of their stress and anxiety. Through open and honest conversations with a therapist, clients can explore past experiences, trauma, or negative patterns of thinking that may be contributing to their lack of inner peace. This deeper understanding can be the first step towards healing and finding inner calm.

Additionally, therapy offers individuals coping mechanisms and strategies to manage their stress and anxiety in a healthy way. A therapist can provide practical tools and techniques to help individuals regulate their emotions, manage stress, and find a sense of peace amidst life's challenges. These skills can be invaluable in maintaining a state of inner calm even when faced with difficult situations.

Therapy also offers individuals a space for self-reflection and personal growth. In therapy, individuals have the opportunity to explore their values, beliefs, and goals, and align them with their actions and choices. This self-awareness and alignment can contribute to a sense of inner peace and fulfillment.

Moreover, therapy can provide individuals with the support and encouragement they need to navigate the ups and downs of life. A therapist acts as a compassionate and nonjudgmental listener, offering validation and guidance as individuals work towards finding their inner calm. This support can make a significant difference in an individual's journey towards inner peace.

Ultimately, therapy is a powerful tool for unlocking inner calm. Through gaining insight, learning coping mechanisms, fostering self-reflection, and receiving support, individuals can find the peace they long for. If you are struggling with anxiety, stress, or a lack of inner peace, therapy can be a transformative step towards a more fulfilling and calm life. Don't hesitate to reach out and seek the help you deserve.

Different Therapeutic Approaches for Finding Calm

In the pursuit of inner peace and tranquility, therapy can serve as a valuable tool for individuals looking to unlock their inner calm. Understanding the importance of the mind-body connection in learning to regulate your nervous system is essential in this journey. One therapeutic approach that has gained recognition for its effectiveness in finding calm is somatic-based therapy.

Somatic-based therapy emphasizes the connection between the mind and the body. It recognizes that unresolved emotional experiences can manifest as physical sensations and tension in the body. Through techniques such as body awareness, breathing exercises, and gentle movement, somatic-based therapy aims to release this stored tension, allowing individuals to achieve a greater sense of calm and well-being.

One of the key aspects of somatic-based therapy is resolving the disconnect between what you logically know and how you feel in your body. Often, we may understand intellectually that we should be calm and at peace, but our body may still feel tense and anxious. Somatic-based therapy works to bridge this gap by helping individuals become more attuned to their bodily sensations and providing tools to release any emotional or physical tension.

Ultimately, therapy offers a variety of therapeutic approaches for individuals seeking to find calm. Whether it be somatic-based therapy, cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness-based approaches, or others, therapy can provide the guidance and support needed to navigate the path towards inner calm and peace. By addressing both the mind and the body, therapycan help individuals develop strategies to regulate their nervous system and cultivate a sense of tranquility in their everyday lives.

Overcoming Barriers to Achieving Inner Calm

Achieving inner calm is often easier said than done. We live in a fast-paced world filled with constant demands and distractions, making it challenging to find peace within ourselves. However, therapy can provide invaluable support in overcoming the barriers that prevent us from achieving inner calm.

One of the most common barriers to inner calm is stress. The demands of work, relationships, and everyday life can quickly become overwhelming, leaving us feeling anxious and restless. Therapy offers a safe space to explore and address the underlying causes of stress, helping us develop coping mechanisms and stress reduction techniques.

Another barrier is unresolved trauma or past experiences that continue to impact our present lives. Therapy provides an opportunity to process and heal from these wounds, freeing us from the burden they create and enabling us to find peace within ourselves.

Additionally, negative thought patterns and self-doubt can hinder our ability to experience inner calm. Through therapy, we can identify and challenge these thoughts, replacing them with more positive and empowering beliefs. Therapists can teach us cognitive-behavioral techniques and mindfulness practices that help us manage negative thoughts and cultivate inner peace.

Finally, lack of self-care and prioritization can also be barriers to achieving inner calm. Therapy can help us recognize the importance of self-care and provide guidance on setting healthy boundaries and practicing self-compassion.

Tips for Incorporating Calming Techniques Into Everyday Life

In our fast-paced and chaotic world, finding inner-peace and calm can sometimes feel like an elusive goal. However, by incorporating calming techniques into our everyday lives, we can create a sense of tranquility that can greatly improve our overall well-being. Therapy can provide the tools and support needed to unlock this inner calm and learn to manage stress in a healthier way.

One technique that has been proven effective in cultivating calm is meditation and mindfulness practices. Taking just a few minutes each day to sit in silence and focus on your breath can do wonders for your mental and emotional state. It allows you to connect with the present moment and let go of worries or anxieties.

Another powerful technique for regulating your nervous system and promoting calm is deep breathing exercises. By taking slow, deep breaths and focusing on your breath entering and leaving your body, you can activate your body's relaxation response and reduce stress levels. Simple techniques like inhaling for a count of four, holding for four, and exhaling for four can be done anywhere, anytime.

Incorporating wind-down time before bed is another valuable habit to develop. By creating a bedtime routine that includes activities such as reading, taking a warm bath, or practicing relaxation exercises, you can help your body learn to settle and calm itself before sleep. This can greatly improve the quality of your sleep and contribute to a greater sense of inner-peace.

If you are craving more peace and tranquility in your life please give our office a call or fill out a consultation form. We'd love to help you achieve more calm, peace and joy in your life.

Sending Love & Light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

Are you considering therapy near you, but not sure what approach to take? If so, you're not alone. Many people are interested in investing in themselves by seeking therapy, but may not know the difference between top-down and bottom-up approaches. Understanding these differences can make a huge impact in how effective your therapy is, so it's important to do your research. In this blog post, we'll discuss the difference between top-down and bottom-up approaches in therapy, as well as the magic in bottom up approaches.

Understanding Top-Down Approach to Therapy

When it comes to therapy, there are various approaches that therapists can take to help their clients navigate through their challenges. One such approach is the top-down approach. This approach focuses on addressing thoughts and behavior as the primary factors influencing an individual's well-being.

In a top-down approach to therapy, therapists often start by exploring their clients' thoughts and beliefs. They help clients identify any negative or irrational thinking patterns that may be contributing to their struggles. By challenging these thoughts and helping clients develop more positive and realistic thinking, therapists aim to bring about lasting change in their clients' behavior and emotions.

This approach emphasizes the importance of cognitive restructuring and cognitive-behavioral techniques to promote change. Therapists may use interventions such as cognitive reframing, thought-stopping, or problem-solving skills training to help their clients gain insight into their thought processes and make healthier choices.

While the top-down approach can be effective for some individuals, it may not be suitable for everyone. Some clients may benefit more from a bottom-up approach, which focuses on the mind-body connection. This approach recognizes that our bodies can store unresolved trauma and emotional experiences, leading to various psychological and physical symptoms.

If you are looking for therapy near me, it is important to consider which approach aligns best with your needs and preferences. Remember that therapy is a personal journey, and finding the right fit with a therapist who utilizes an approach that resonates with you is crucial for effective treatment. Whether you opt for a top-down or bottom-up approach, therapy can provide you with the support and tools you need to navigate life's challenges and achieve a sense of well-being.

Contrasting Thoughts and Behavior vs. Mind-Body Connection

When it comes to therapy, there are two primary approaches that therapists often employ: focusing on thoughts and behavior or exploring the mind-body connection. Both approaches have their merits and can be effective depending on the individual and their unique circumstances.

The traditional top-down approach to therapy emphasizes the importance of thoughts and behavior in influencing one's emotions and well-being. Therapists using this approach may help clients identify negative thought patterns, challenge distorted thinking, and develop more adaptive behaviors. This approach can be highly effective in helping individuals gain insight into their thoughts and behaviors and make positive changes.

On the other hand, the bottom-up approach to therapy emphasizes the mind-body connection and the importance of addressing physical sensations, emotions, and bodily experiences. This approach recognizes that emotions and traumatic experiences are stored not only in our minds but also in our bodies. Therapists using this approach may incorporate techniques such as body-focused therapies, somatic experiencing, or mindfulness practices to help clients become more attuned to their bodily sensations and work through past trauma.

Both approaches have their place in therapy, and the choice of approach often depends on the individual's needs and preferences. Some individuals may benefit from a more cognitive-focused approach, while others may find that exploring the mind-body connection brings about deeper healing. It's essential to find a therapist who offers both approaches and who is invested in understanding and supporting your unique healing journey.

If you're considering therapy and wondering, "Is there therapy near me that offers both top-down and bottom-up approaches?" it's important to do your research. Finding a therapist who is experienced in both approaches and has a genuine investment in yourself can greatly enhance your therapy experience. Remember, therapy is an investment in yourself, and finding the right therapist is crucial for your healing journey.

The Magic in Bottom-Up Approaches

When it comes to therapy, there is something truly magical about bottom-up approaches. These methods recognize the undeniable connection between our minds and bodies and use it to facilitate healing and growth.

One such approach is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), which has gained significant recognition for its effectiveness in treating trauma and anxiety. EMDR works by targeting the underlying emotional distress associated with traumatic experiences and reducing the intensity of triggering responses. This therapy encourages individuals to engage in bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping, while simultaneously recalling distressing memories. Through this process, the brain is rewired, allowing for adaptive resolution of traumatic events.

Research has shown that EMDR can result in a decrease in responsiveness to triggers, reducing symptoms associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This bottom-up approach emphasizes the importance of engaging the body's natural ability to heal and reprocess traumatic memories.

Investing in yourself through therapy can be a life-changing decision, and finding the right therapy near you is crucial for your well-being. Bottom-up approaches, like EMDR, offer a unique and effective way to address underlying emotional distress. By focusing on the mind-body connection and targeting the root causes of distress, these approaches bring about lasting change and growth.

If you are struggling with trauma, anxiety, or any other mental health issue, consider exploring bottom-up approaches like EMDR. The magic lies in the ability to tap into your body's innate healing capabilities and find true relief from distress. Remember, therapy is an investment in yourself, and the right therapy near you can lead you on a transformative journey towards healing and well-being.

Why invest in a specialist?

Investing in a specialist for your therapy needs can make a significant difference in your overall well-being and long-term success. Research consistently shows that specialized care leads to better outcomes compared to generalist approaches. 

Why settle for a therapist who may have a broad understanding of various issues, when you can see someone who specializes in your specific concern? Whether it's sexual abuse, postpartum struggles, imposter syndrome, people pleasing, or childhood trauma, seeking out a specialist ensures that you receive targeted and effective treatment.

The impact of specialized care extends beyond your mental health. It can enhance your overall functioning as an employee, improve your earning potential, strengthen your relationships as a friend, parent, and spouse. By addressing your specific issues through specialized therapy, you can experience transformative healing and personal growth.

Another crucial consideration is the time factor. Why wait to feel better and begin your journey to true healing? By seeing a specialist, you can get results more quickly, allowing you to start feeling better and living a fulfilling life sooner.

Finding a specialized therapist is easier than ever with the help of technology. Simply search "therapy near me" online, and you will be connected to a wide range of professionals who specialize in your specific concern.

Investing in yourself through specialized therapy is a decision that can change your life. Don't settle for a generic approach when you can receive personalized and impactful care from a specialist who truly understands your unique needs. If you're ready to accelerate your healing and begin living the life you deserve to have give our office a call today.

Sending Love & light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

What is urge-surfing?

We have all been there in one way or another. We feel overwhelmed by an intense emotion and want to break down or explode. Maybe we feel engulfed by an oncoming panic attack. Or perhaps we want to smoke a cigarette or vape pen, or try to calm down with some weed and alcohol. Whatever the reason and the resulting behavior, all these examples and more are driven by intense emotions that feed into a lack of impulse control and the need to give in to urges.

I get it. It can feel exhausting and challenging not to just give in. For instance, when we feel stressed, we may have the urge to eat right out of the Ben & Jerry’s carton or to pour a glass of wine. We may feel the urge to say something cruel to someone or to yell at them. Maybe we get cut off in traffic and want to pursue the driver. We may want to even hurt ourselves.

Our urges and impulses have reasons behind them, but these reasons are not justifications to act on them. It is our responsibility to ourselves to learn how to effectively, healthfully cope.

One way to learn to control impulses and urges is called urge-surfing, a distress tolerance skill from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). Simply put, urge-surfing is about “riding the wave” of an urge by controlling your impulse control. It is a mental trick. We are conditioned to think that the longer we resist the urge the more powerful it seems to become, much like a wave builds up to the crest before breaking down into the trough. However, if you surrender yourself to an urge, it trains our brains to think that the surrender is the one and only way to grant us psychological relief. This is not true. While an urge can feel like it is long-lasting and is getting stronger, the truth is that most pass within five to ten minutes. Just like a wave, it will dissipate.

Yes, I know, this is easier said than done. I fully admit trying to stop an urge can sound hard, maybe even impossible. If you have ever dared yourself to swim directly against a wave in the ocean, you know full well it can suck all the energy out of you. You may even fear getting caught in the undertow and swept out to sea. However, if you swim along the side of the wave, you can safely avoid much of its strength which in turn will let it break down with less force. Thus, applying the wave metaphor to our emotions makes sense.

How do I urge-surf?

The urge-surfing process is customizable. Play around with it until you find a pattern that works best for you! However, in general, it goes in the following sequence:

1. Stop. Take a breath in. Notice and acknowledge you are having an urge.

2. Pay attention to the emotions and thoughts you are experiencing, while picking up cues from the situation too. There is no need to try to change, drown out, or avoid them. It may all feel very unpleasant, even uncomfortable, but that is to be expected.

3. Tell yourself the following mantas. Some can be changed to your specific issues:
- “It is okay and normal to feel discomfort.”
- “It is not weird or wrong to have urges. All people have them. They come from having desires, wants, habits and addictions.”
- “An urge is a want, not a need. I need food. I do not need it to be a slice of chocolate cake.”
- “I can still have the chocolate cake, but I can save it for later. It does not need to be right now.”
- “To have an urge is out of my control. What is in my control is deciding not to act on it!”
- “All urges are short-lived and temporary. They will pass. I can get through them.”

Urge-surfing can also be helpful in preventing anxious feelings from evolving into panic attacks. You may try a mantra such as, “a panic attack can be scary, but I can recognize it before it hits its peak. I can do something like deep breathing to avoid it from becoming a full-blown panic attack.”

Above all, remember… you are in control. It is true you cannot prevent an urge from arising, but you do have the power to not act on the urge.

How urge-surfing helps with nicotine withdrawal

Urge-surfing is something I frequently teach to clients who are trying to quit smoking/vaping. I do this through two parts.

First, I educate my clients that nicotine withdrawal reaches its peak at around 72 hours or 3 days. If we figure the average person sleeps for 8.5 hours, that comes out to 25.5 hours the urge to smoke/vape is eliminated. Now add in other factors that can prevent the behavior. If you have a typical 8-hour workday, that is 24 more hours you cannot smoke (I did not add in breaks because this varies by state laws and businesses). Those two activities alone come out to 49.5 hours you cannot smoke/vape, so you only need to figure out solutions to the remaining 22.5 hours! You can then plug in other additional activities that can prevent you from being able to smoke/vape, such as time for hobbies and interests, meals, social situations where it is unacceptable (i.e., restaurants, watching your child play soccer, etc.).

Second, I tell my clients that as a further motivational tool to keep them from giving into the urge, they can replace their “smoke times” with other tasks that provide distraction. In your case, think about how long it takes for you to smoke or vape. This is probably 5 to 10 minutes; thus, you need to find a replacement behavior for that 5-to-10-minute time frame. For example, if you like to have a cigarette the first thing in the morning and that takes 6 minutes for you, you only need to distract yourself with anything else for 6 minutes. This could be a guided meditation, quick yoga session, giving more time to enjoy your breakfast, putting extra effort into your hair and make-up, reading the news, or even browsing social media (although for this last one I suggest you exercise caution because social media can also be an addiction).

Obviously, urge-surfing can work for other addictions too. I also suggest urge-surfing for other problematic behaviors such as self-injury.

How urge-surfing can prevent arguments

Urge-surfing is a key tool to help prevent arguments. Think back on a time you felt hurt, offended, or angry at a friend or family member. You may have screamed at them or said something callous to feel better… and yes it made you feel powerful at the time, but it came with consequences, right? Perhaps you were later plagued with guilt. Even worse, the person may have stopped talking to you and you were fearful your relationship with them had ended. As you reflect on the incident, you recognize that there could had been a good outcome if you responded differently to the person – even if they were in the wrong.

When it comes to interpersonal conflicts, urge-surfing can work by having you pause to consider the consequences of acting on the urge to scream and so on. You can stop to notice how you think and feel, remind yourself that the emotion is temporary but the urge may have permanent bad results, and decide how to proceed (this is a DBT skill called “STOP”; detailed here). You can also think of ways you can distract yourself in the moment, such as with these DBT distress tolerance skills. Or you could tell the person, “I feel myself getting angry and wanting to say something I don’t mean, so I am going to walk away right now. Please give me space so I can calm down.” 

Journaling as a method to urge-surf

Finally, you may find it beneficial to journal about your urges as they relate to your impulses, thoughts, emotions, and experiences. There is something liberating about writing down your innermost issues; it serves as an emotional, cognitive, and spiritual release from the pain. Journaling can tap into your inner wisdom by having you make connections about why giving into an urge can be harmful. Furthermore, journaling can let you come up with solutions about how to get through the problem in a healthy way. It can also let you think of what could happen if you continue to surrender to the urge (i.e., chronic alcohol use can lead to cirrhosis). 

Final thoughts

In summary, urge-surfing is important because it teaches us that an urge will lessen in its intensity as time passes. At the peak of an urge, it can feel like our discomfort will consume us unless we act on it to quell it. However, by doing that it only conditions us to have to act on it no matter what, which ironically makes it stronger. Instead, remind yourself that all urges will pass, decrease in frequency as you become more skilled, and that all you are the master of your actions.

Celebrate your victories when you urge-surf to get through a situation. See it as a reminder you are in self-control.

As you become better at learning to control yourself by not giving in to urges, your brain will adapt to these newfound changes. This will make it far easier to resist the pressure of surrendering to urges throughout the rest of your life!

- Valerie Smith, LMSW

emdr New York

When it comes to healing from trauma, it can be difficult to decide which therapy is right for you. For those in New York, EMDR Therapy and Hypnosis are two of the most popular therapeutic approaches. To help you make an informed decision, it's important to understand the key differences between EMDR Therapy and Hypnosis, and how they are applied by an EMDR therapist. In this blog post, we'll discuss the benefits and drawbacks of both EMDR Therapy in New York and Hypnosis to help you make the best decision for your journey towards healing.

Is EMDR hypnosis?

No, EMDR therapy in New York and hypnosis are two distinct modalities used in psychotherapy. Although they share similarities, such as helping trauma victims overcome anxiety and stress caused by traumatic memories, they work in different ways. Hypnotherapy involves inducing a trance-like state to access the subconscious mind and facilitate change. On the other hand, EMDR therapy uses eye movements to process and desensitize traumatic memories, without inducing a trance-like state. Where the purpose of hypnosis is to induce a trance-like state, the purpose of EMDR is to maintain dual-awareness. Dual awareness means the client can keep one foot in the past and one foot in the present. They are aware of their surroundings and well-trained EMDR therapists will work to keep you within that state of dual awareness, as it is so crucial to the process of EMDR. 

Examining the goals of EMDR therapy in New York

When it comes to EMDR therapy in New York, the main goal is to provide trauma victims with a safe and effective treatment option to manage their symptoms. EMDR aims to help patients reprocess and ultimately heal from traumatic events that may have occurred years ago. This is accomplished by taking a systematic approach that helps to break down the barriers created by the traumatic experience. 

Through a series of stages, EMDR therapy works to help the patient establish a sense of control over the traumatic experience. The therapy helps to retrain the brain so that traumatic memories are no longer stored in an emotionally-charged manner. Patients learn to detach themselves from their negative emotions and responses to triggers associated with their trauma. 

Another important goal of EMDR therapy is to promote lasting change. Unlike traditional talk therapy which can sometimes require years of treatment, EMDR is designed to provide a faster resolution of symptoms. Many patients have reported significant improvement in their symptoms after just a few sessions. This therapy has shown a high success rate for PTSD treatment. 

Overall, EMDR therapy in New York provides an effective and structured treatment option for trauma victims. This therapy has helped countless patients break free from the pain and distress of their past traumas. It is a powerful and effective method for achieving healing and growth after trauma.

Examining the Goals of Hypnosis

When it comes to trauma therapy, hypnosis is often used as a modality to help individuals overcome their traumatic experiences. Trauma therapists in New York might recommend hypnotherapy to help clients break harmful thought patterns or address suppressed memories related to the traumatic event.

The goal of hypnosis is to get the client into a trance-like state where they are more open to suggestions. During this state, the therapist might guide the person towards a specific goal, such as changing their perception of traumatic memories or developing positive coping mechanisms. 

While hypnosis can be effective in helping people process trauma, it's important to note that it's a controversial therapy. Some individuals might feel uncomfortable with the idea of being hypnotized, while others might be concerned about the potential for false memories to be created during the trance-like state.

However, it's important to note that hypnosis typically focuses on achieving a single goal through suggestion. While this can be effective for some individuals, it may not be the best fit for those with multiple traumas or PTSD symptoms. Additionally, hypnosis may not be suitable for individuals who have a hard time letting go of control or have difficulty entering a trance-like state.

Despite these potential challenges, hypnosis can be a powerful tool in helping people heal from trauma. With the guidance of a qualified trauma therapist in New York, hypnotherapy can help clients access and process repressed memories and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

It's crucial to work with a qualified therapist when seeking hypnosis or any other trauma therapy modality. This ensures that clients receive personalized and effective treatment tailored to their specific needs.

Ultimately, hypnosis is not the only approach available, and trauma therapists in New York might recommend EMDR therapy instead. EMDR therapy has been shown to be effective in helping individuals overcome the negative impact of traumatic experiences. In the next section, we'll examine the goals and methods of EMDR therapy in New York.

Which approach is a better fit for client's that experience trauma?

Both EMDR therapy in New York and hypnosis require professionally trained therapists. EMDR therapy training involves specific protocols and techniques, while hypnotherapy training requires specialized training in hypnosis techniques. However, one key difference is that hypnosis cannot be carried out online, while EMDR therapy in New York can be administered online. When it comes to addressing trauma, EMDR therapy in New York aims to help individuals deal with PTSD symptoms and overcome difficulties caused by the trauma and its memories. While hypnosis can help address different aspects of the problem, EMDR has been extensively researched, particularly for PTSD. Studies have found EMDR to be effective in the treatment of PTSD. On the other hand, hypnosis may also alleviate the symptoms of PTSD, with a meta-analysis study showing both short and long-term impacts for trauma victims.

While EMDR therapy in New York is generally well-received in the psychology world, hypnosis is still seen as pseudoscience by many. Nevertheless, some therapists may use both EMDR and hypnosis to treat trauma based on the individual's unique situation. It is worth noting that EMDR is more readily available as it can be accessed online, allowing individuals to seek the help of an EMDR therapist from the comfort of their own homes.

Where can I get EMDR therapy in New York?

If you're looking for EMDR therapy in New York, look no further than Long Island EMDR. Our team is passionate about using EMDR to help our clients heal from trauma, and many of our clinicians are trained in this approach. Whether you're looking for traditional weekly EMDR sessions or want to try an intensive approach, our team can help. To find an EMDR therapist at our practice, simply  check out our Our Team page. From there, you can schedule a free consultation to ensure the best fit for your needs. We look forward to helping you on your journey to healing and recovery.

Sending love & light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW


Imposter syndrome is a common issue among entrepreneurs. This psychological pattern leads individuals to doubt their abilities and accomplishments, feeling like a fraud in their professional endeavors. It's often experienced by high achievers who struggle with anxiety and perfectionism, leaving them constantly questioning their own competence. Imposter syndrome can severely affect an entrepreneur's self-confidence, and even hinder their business success. However, there is a proven therapy that can help combat imposter syndrome, and it's called EMDR. In this blog post, we'll explore how EMDR can help entrepreneurs overcome imposter syndrome and find the confidence they need to succeed.

Defining imposter syndrome


Imposter syndrome is a phenomenon that many entrepreneurs experience. It refers to a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt, despite evidence of success and competence. Those with imposter syndrome often struggle with feelings of fraudulence, as if they are "faking it" and will eventually be found out as imposters.
This can have significant effects on an entrepreneur's confidence, motivation, and overall well-being. It can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and even burnout.
Fortunately, there is a therapeutic technique called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) that has shown promise in helping individuals with imposter syndrome to overcome these feelings of self-doubt and build a stronger sense of confidence. In the following sections, we'll explore the effects of imposter syndrome in more detail and how EMDR can be used to address it.

The effects of imposter syndrome


Imposter syndrome is a pervasive feeling of self-doubt and fear of being exposed as a fraud, despite evidence of accomplishments and competence. This phenomenon is not limited to individuals with low self-esteem, as high-achieving individuals and successful people are among the most likely to experience imposter syndrome. According to a Kajabi study, entrepreneurs and small business owners are quite commonly victims of the imposter phenomenon.
This study found that 84% of entrepreneurs and small business owners suffer from imposter syndrome. Moreover, over 20% of entrepreneurs worry about being exposed for a lack of knowledge or ability, and over 20% believe they have only become successful by chance. Imposter syndrome can manifest in many ways in your business, including:

How EMDR can help?


Entrepreneurs who experience imposter syndrome often feel trapped in a cycle of negative self-talk and limiting beliefs. However, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can help individuals break free from these patterns and reframe their self-perceptions.
EMDR is a therapy that involves focusing on a traumatic memory while performing specific eye movements or other bilateral stimulation techniques. This process can help individuals process and integrate these memories, allowing for a greater sense of clarity and self-awareness.
When it comes to imposter syndrome, EMDR can be especially helpful in uncovering and addressing underlying issues related to self-esteem, self-worth, and confidence. Through EMDR, individuals can identify the root causes of their imposter syndrome and develop more positive and self-affirming beliefs.
By working with a trained EMDR therapist, entrepreneurs with imposter syndrome can rewire their brains and transform their negative self-talk into positive affirmations. Over time, they may begin to experience a greater sense of self-confidence, which can lead to improved performance and greater success in their business ventures.
Overall, EMDR can be an incredibly effective tool for entrepreneurs struggling with imposter syndrome. By addressing underlying issues and transforming limiting beliefs, individuals can cultivate a greater sense of confidence and success in both their personal and professional lives.

Case study


Meet Julia. She had been running her small business for almost three years, but even though she had gained recognition and appreciation from her clients, she couldn't shake off the feeling that she was a fraud. Julia struggled with imposter syndrome, which was holding her back from making important business decisions and expanding her venture.
That's when Julia turned to EMDR. She had heard about the therapy from a friend and was intrigued by its potential to help her overcome her feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. During her EMDR sessions, Julia worked with a trained therapist who guided her through a series of eye movements while recalling triggering events from her past.
Through this process, Julia was able to identify the root causes of her imposter syndrome. She realized that her inner critic was fueled by messages she received from her parents, who always compared her unfavorably to her older sibling. With EMDR, Julia was able to release these negative beliefs and create new, positive ones about herself.
After a few sessions, Julia felt a shift in her mindset. She felt more confident in her abilities as an entrepreneur and no longer second-guessed her decisions. She was able to present her business to potential investors with a newfound sense of conviction and self-assurance.

Where to start


If you're an entrepreneur struggling with imposter syndrome, know that you're not alone. EMDR therapy can be an incredibly effective way to process the anxiety and self-doubt that comes with this phenomenon. As a fellow business owner who has found success with EMDR, I highly recommend it as a treatment option.
One thing to consider is scheduling an EMDR intensive. These programs allow you to complete the treatment in just a few days, rather than having to carve out time each week for sessions. This can be especially helpful for busy entrepreneurs who have a lot on their plate.
If you're interested in exploring EMDR for imposter syndrome, I invite you to schedule a free consultation with me or someone on my team. We'll be happy to discuss your options and answer any questions you may have. Don't let imposter syndrome hold you back any longer - take the first step toward feeling confident and capable today.

Sending Love & Light,

Jamie Vollmoeller, LCSW

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