Because therapy and mental health are much more than just showing up every week!
What we know and understand about mental health has come a long way in recent years. Between that and everything else going on in the world, it’s no surprise that many people have been more open to receiving mental health treatment. This is great news, but it can also be hard to know where to start and how to get the most of this to improve mental health, especially if this is your first time in therapy. So, where do you begin?
1. Do your mental health related research
It’s always a good idea to do a little bit of research to find a therapist that best suits your needs. Although most therapists are educated and trained on a wide range of issues, some therapists have spent a lot of time working with specific populations and consider that to be their ‘specialty.’ If you’re seeking help for a specific issue, it may be beneficial to see someone who already has experience in that area.
In addition, it’s very important that you feel comfortable with your therapist. People usually go to therapy to discuss challenging things in their lives and mental health issues, and if you’re not comfortable with the person sitting across from you, it will only make talking about those things more difficult. Most therapists post a little bit about themselves in a bio online, or even write blog posts like this one about things that interest them! Doing research about different therapists can give you an idea if he/she would be a good fit for you.
And if you find yourself working with a therapist that you feel isn’t a good fit, speak up about it! Chances are your therapist will be understanding and can even provide referrals for other therapists in the area.
2. Think about you’re mental health goals and what you're hoping to get out of therapy
You will most likely start your first appointment by discussing what brings you to therapy and some of your history. It can be helpful if you’ve already put some thought into the issues you’re hoping to address. Are you looking to change some negative behaviors, or learn healthy coping skills? Maybe you want to improve your interpersonal relationships by learning better communication skills, or manage symptoms of anxiety or depression. Whatever it is you’re looking to address, being prepared with clear goals can help keep your sessions focused so you’re getting the most of your time each week. It can also help to think about any significant experiences from your past that may be impacting you currently, as that can be helpful information that therapists will want to know about you.
3. Don’t be afraid to ask questions
Therapy is a safe place where you should feel comfortable sharing your deepest insecurities or struggles. You should also feel comfortable enough to speak up and ask questions if something isn’t making sense to you or isn’t working for you. Your therapist can only work with the information you bring to the session, so if you feel like those breathing exercises you keep talking about each week just aren’t working, be honest and say that. Then we can try to explore what isn’t working with the breathing exercises, or maybe even discuss different calming techniques altogether.
Therapy is also a great place to practice things like communication skills, setting or enforcing boundaries, and being assertive (like saying ‘hey, these breathing exercises aren’t working for me!’). If these are things you struggle with, discuss it with your therapist so they can be sure to address these issues during the session.
4. Be positive but also realistic
It’s a pretty common misconception that you’ll receive some advice from a therapist in one or two sessions and you’ll be able to apply that advice to your life and move on. It’s important to understand that therapy is a process that often requires some patience. For some people it takes more than one or two sessions to even feel comfortable enough to discuss some of those deepest insecurities, and that’s okay. Treatment will be ongoing. There’s no set number of sessions and it can differ for everyone.
It can be helpful to approach therapy with curiosity. Be curious about the ways you currently behave, think, and feel. Have you experienced anything in life that may be contributing to these behaviors, thoughts, and feelings?
5. Do your homework
Therapy is much more than simply showing up for your session each week. Some therapists may give ‘homework assignments’ hoping to keep you engaged in between sessions. Homework could be asking you to journal and reflect on certain areas of your life. It may be simply noticing when something you discussed in session comes up, or even practicing certain skills like breathing exercises, grounding techniques, and self-care, all which help improve mental health.
Even if your therapist doesn’t assign you specific tasks, you should still be putting in work outside of session. Therapy is a great place to receive tips, guidance, and education about things you’re struggling with, but the actual change takes place when you start applying those tips to your everyday life.
There are many differences between experiencing trauma as an adult and experiencing trauma as a child. One difference is that experiencing a stressful event as a child can cause an everlasting impact throughout adulthood. This everlasting impact is what affects the ‘inner child’ when those children become adults. The inner child is something that exists within everyone. It is the playful, fun, cheerful, hurt, as well as saddened child we once were. Any traumatic or stressful event that was experienced as a child is remembered by the body, and that is how it continues to affect us into adulthood.
"A child who does not play is not a child, but the man who does not play has lost forever the child who lived in him." - Pablo Neruda
The obstacle to overcome when attempting to heal the inner child is being able to understand, connect with, and accept the child within. Inner child wounds can be because of abuse that was experienced as a child, neglect, distressful events, loss of a loved one at an early age, as well as many more. Tending to the inner child can allow for growth and prosperity for later life.
Some Signs That Your Inner Child May Be Impacting You:
- Having feelings of shame, guilt, inner restlessness
- Having feelings of worthlessness, never feeling satisfied with self
- Negative self-talk
- Having the need to be a perfectionist with responsibilities or tasks
- Self-sabotage, self-destructive behaviors
- Excessive work ethic
- A pattern of unhealthy/unstable relationships
- Chronic overworking and overachievement (to knowingly or unknowingly gain approval, praise or belonging)
- Not being able to be in the here and now (present moment)
Taking steps towards healing the inner child can be done with seeking therapy, practicing mindfulness skills, as well as increasing one’s own level of self-awareness. Navigating inner child work with a therapist can allow you to work through that trauma, distressing memories and emotions. Working through these events can be distressing in and of itself, though having someone who is trained to support people with these types of issues can allow for many doors to open. The goal of inner child work within therapy is to explore these past events, with an emphasis on early memories to learn skills on how to regulate the self.
Some Inner Child Mindfulness Practice:
Self love is a concept that was first promoted by the Beat Generation of the 1950s, and again in the early 1960s during what was known as the “Hippie Era.” self love has gained popularity in recent years due to psychological research finding it an essential component for positive mental health and well-being. Even despite its rise in popularity, self love can be a challenging concept for many, often confused with being egotistical, self-indulgent, or too “touchy feely”. Despite the many misconceptions regarding self love that exist, the truth of the matter is that self love is a critical part of recovering from mental health challenges. Without self love, it will be extremely difficult to believe you are worth implementing the healthy strategies will allow you to feel better. Here are some simple techniques that can assist you on your journey toward unconditional self love.
1. Engage in Self-Reflection.
We often spend much time and energy moving from one distraction to the next. Taking time out of our busy schedules for self-reflection is an important part of learning to love yourself unconditionally. After all, how can you truly love what you don’t know? Self-reflection can be very simple-taking 5 minutes of your day to sit quietly and assess how you are feeling, journaling, meditating, sitting in nature, or deep breathing. Anything that can stop the noise of your mind and connect you to the present moment can be a great way to get in touch with your true self and bring you closer to loving yourself.
2. Be Kind to Yourself.
Be mindful of the way you treat yourself. “Bring the mind, and the body will follow.” This is a common saying that holds true on the journey toward self love. Often this means going outside of our comfort zone and making positive decisions for ourselves despite not feeling that we deserve it. Increase your healthy intake-be it people, conversation, self-talk, food, exercise, or rest. Treat yourself the way you would treat a friend or loved one; with kindness, compassion, and patience. Although this may feel unnatural, by treating yourself this way you are proving that you are worthy of love and respect, and doing so consistently will allow this belief to sink in.
3. Forgive Your Mistakes.
You are human and are bound to make mistakes. If there is a name for what you did, someone else has done it. Giving yourself permission to be human is one of the greatest gifts you can give. Forgiveness is not an easy journey, however letting go of the past allows you room to become the person you are truly meant to be. Someone who forgives and loves themselves is also less likely to hurt others in the future. One strategy is writing down a letter of apology to those you’ve harmed, including yourself. You can make amends to others when enough time has passed, and to do so will not cause additional harm. Most of all, let go and remind yourself that you are much more than a few bad decisions.
4. Maintain Healthy Relationships.
People are not born hating themselves. Oftentimes, a lack of self love comes from life experiences/relationships that cause you to internalize the belief that you are not good enough or defective in some way. Take note of the relationships in your life and how they make you feel. Everyone is accountable for their own happiness; however, some individuals (due to their own flaws) can trigger feelings of unworthiness in us. Work on setting healthy boundaries with these people, and focus the majority of your attention and energy on pursuing relationships that allow you to feel safe, happy, and cared for.
5. Accepting Yourself as you are Right Now.
Everyone is a work in progress. It is easy to fall into the trap of “I’ll love myself when…” and fill in the blank with whatever goal or next level we want to reach. There is always going to be room for improvement, so don’t waste time putting off loving yourself. After all, achieving your goals will be a lot easier with the help of self love. Stop comparing yourself to others, or telling yourself you “should” be a certain way. You are exactly who you are meant to be at this moment. Embrace the journey.
Poor mental health can affect so many parts of your life including your relationships with others, your
performance at work, and even day-to-day tasks such as daily hygiene. Daily hygiene such as
taking a shower, brushing your teeth, and doing your laundry may seem like simple tasks for
some, but for someone struggling with mental illness these same tasks can feel like pushing a
300-pound boulder up a hill. But why?
Why does mental health make it so hard to take a shower?
For starters, depression is often characterized by diminished interest in activities and feeling
fatigued. In other words, you probably have little motivation or energy to maintain your hygiene
when you’re feeling depressed. But depression isn’t the only mental health diagnosis that affects
daily hygiene. Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety, and PTSD have all been linked to
negative impacts on daily hygiene.
So what can you do when mental illness is affecting your hygiene?
For starters, you can try some of these techniques:
If taking a shower seems like a lot of work, try starting by just standing under the water for a
minute. Yes, you may not be as clean as if you used soap, but it will make the task of showering
seem less intimidating and can help you both physically and mentally.
Think convenience! Use things like antiperspirant, dry shampoo and wipes regularly. You can
buy cleaning wipes (usually made for kids) almost anywhere, and they don’t require any water!
If you have days where taking a shower seems like too much work, there’s no shame in doing
what you can to maintain hygiene.
If you absolutely cannot bring yourself to brush your teeth, use mouthwash with extra fluoride
and rinse liberally for as long as you can. You can also take more preventative measures such as
using a toothpaste with extra fluoride so you have extra protection when you do brush, and visit
the dentist for more consistent checkups (say every 6 months versus every year).
If you’re struggling to do your laundry, ask for help. A friend or family member may be willing
to help you tackle the overwhelming pile of laundry that’s been building for the last few weeks.
If you have social supports, utilize them! You can also use this as a time to catch up with your
loved ones.
What if all of these are still too overwhelming?
If you’re struggling to practice hygiene even when you know you should, you may need help.
In general, you should reach out for help if an issue is making it difficult to function. If your poor
hygiene is starting to affect things like work, school, personal relationships, or your health,
consider contacting a professional. A therapist can help you further explore your struggles with
hygiene, and provide you with appropriate skills to make managing your hygiene a little bit
easier. If you think psychotherapy may benefit you, feel free to reach out to our office to
schedule an appointment.
Many of my clients have difficulty living the life they want and need to feel truly happy. They struggle with expectations placed on them by others, feelings of guilt if they put themselves first and most days feel like they cannot catch their breathe. Trauma therapy can help you to end old patterns and put yourself first. Self-care isn't selfish- I know it's a clique but it is true. You need to take care of you to be your best self for your family, friends and career. If this is speaking to you, strap in- I have some Pro-tips for you.
1. Evaluate Your Values
What is most important to you? List 3 things. Could be family, honesty, integrity, compassion, trust etc. Then you need to start seeing if your actions actually align with your values. Those that do keep at them- those that don't make an effort to change them. For example, if you choose "family, compassion and health" and you are offered an additional work shift. Is taking this shift detracting from your family time? Do you need a mental health break or day off to take care of you? If so say no. If it's to help a colleague who is going through a rough time and you feel you have enough time on another day to take care of you and spend time with family and you want to honor that "compassion" value you can also say yes. Seeing how our actions are in align with our values helps us to begin living a life that makes us happy- not a life that is spent trying to appease or please others.
2. Set Some Boundaries
In set with setting those values is setting up some boundaries with those around us. When we have no boundaries- meaning we having difficulty saying no or often do things out of pleasing others even if it's not what we want- we continue to feel exhausted, unhappy and overwhelmed. Boundaries despite what childhood may have taught you are actually healthy. Saying "No I'm sorry I can't go out tonight", "No I won't be able to take on that extra project with my current workload as it stands",or "I would appreciate if you refrained from "xyz" in front of my children" is the first step to reducing our triggers, reducing your stress load and giving yourself the time to focus on you and do what makes YOU happy.
3. Let Go of the Guilt
Often times my clients struggle with boundaries because of the guilt they feel in saying no to others. They feel responsible to take on the problems of those around them. They are accustom to the role of "fixer". Those around them, often family members but sometimes even colleagues or bosses sometimes push back on boundaries set and plead or ridicule them if they don't get what they want. I'm not going to say setting boundaries is an easy task when you are accustom to saying "yes" to everything because your role has always been to put others before you. But I will say the more you stick to your boundaries, the less others push back over time. It helps to see if keeping those boundaries is in alignment with your values or the type of person you are aspiring to be. Simple answer my look like "yes, I value helping others". With a closer look though it's easy to see it is hard to be our best self for others when you are running on empty. As I often tell my trauma therapy clients, and as they say on the air plane "put your mask on first" before you help those around you. It also helps to make a list of the short term positive gain of letting others violate your boundary and the long term consequences. For example, lets say you have difficulty saying no at work and are constantly taking on additional tasks asked of you.
| Short Term Positive of Not Holding My Boundary | Long Term Consequences of Not Holding My Boundary |
| -Don't feel guilty | -I am overwhelmed and burning out |
| -My boss is happy | -It's hard to complete additional work assigned in my work hours so I am constantly bringing work home |
| -I get positive praise | -I am working so hard that when I am done I have no energy to engage meaningfully with my husband and kids |
| -I feel taken advantage of and under appreciated | |
| -My workload will never decrease if I do not voice concern with the disproportionate work I get in comparison to colleagues |
After making this list you may decide to have a conversation with your boss and say "I would love to be able to help with that project but I already have 3 other projects I am currently working on. I will need to finish those first before I can take on any more. It's important to me that the quality of my work meets the standard and I am afraid I won't be able to complete all projects to our client's expectations." Starting an honest dialogue can help you feel more in control and will likely make you a better employee. Same with friends and family, when you are happier and more relaxed you can be your best self for your spouse, children, parents and friends. If this seems daunting, trauma therapy can surely help you work through your fears and doubts.
Need Help?
If this sounds daunting, you may need some extra support in navigating beginning to set boundaries and taking back control of your life. This is really common with clients who have trauma, are children of alcoholics, were parentified children (children that functioned more as parents), and those with low self-esteem and attachment difficulties (as they often fear boundaries will push others away). Trauma therapy can help! Just like my clients you can take back your life, begin to feel in control, less overwhelmed, more peaceful and joyful. You deserve happiness too. If you need the extra support in getting there give our office a call. We would love to help you on that journey.
Sending love & light,
Having an Emotional Support Animal (ESA) has grown in popularity over the past 10 years, however animal assisted therapy is not a new concept. The Greeks were the first to notice that horses could lift the spirits of sick patients as far back as 600 BC. Animal assisted therapy was again present during the 1600s, when horses were utilized to help improve the health of their patients physically and mentally. During the 1800s, Florence Nightingale noted the reduction of anxiety in her psychiatric patients when they spent time with animals.
You may ask yourself this question, “Isn’t just having a pet enough?” Having a pet has been proven to have innumerable mental health benefits, for example:
- Lowered stress levels due linked to lowering blood pressure and heart rate
- Helping cope with depression due to the elevation of mood, encouragement of physical activity, and healthy distraction from negative thoughts
- Reduction in feelings of isolation and loneliness
- Improved sense of well-being
- Improved sense of control over one’s life due to the consistency and routine of caring for a pet
So, with all of these benefits, you may question the need for an emotional support animal. Here are some notable differences between having a pet and having an emotional support animal:
- An emotional support animal is prescribed for a specific mental health diagnosis, such as anxiety, depression, panic attacks, PTSD, and Autism Spectrum Disorder. Without one of these qualifying diagnoses, it is unlikely that your pet will be approved as an emotional support animal.
- Emotional Support Animals will spend more time with you, both inside and outside of the home. They often accompany individuals to work, school, traveling, and other situations that may trigger mental health symptoms to arise.
- Emotional Support Animals are allowed to stay in rental properties where pet restrictions are in place. The Housing Amendments Act states that landlords must make reasonable accommodations for tenants to live with their emotional support animals.
- Emotional Support Animals have more access to public spaces. Although it is up to each public space to make their own judgement about whether or not an emotional support animal can enter their domain, individuals are much more likely to be accommodating for an Emotional Support Animal.
- And finally, Emotional Support Animals can travel with you via airplanes as a result of the Air Carrier Access Act, which means you do not have to spend your vacation apart from one another.
Next steps
If you believe an ESA will aid your mental health, the next steps are to talk to a licensed mental health provider to gain the proper diagnosis and documentation in order to do so. Your existing pet can become an Emotional Support Animal, or you can obtain a new animal solely for this purpose. Certain breeds offer more benefits than others, however there are no restrictions on what qualifies as an ESA. As with any healthy coping skill, you will gain the most benefits for your mental health from having an Emotional Support Animal in conjunction with mental health treatment/therapy, so keep this in mind when making your decision.
It’s okay to be! Feeling emotions can be difficult at first especially if you're used to pushing everything down. Everyone has a unique life, and our mental health plays a big role in how our “unique life” comes to be. Struggling with mental health is completely normal! It is just as normal as not struggling with mental health. Oftentimes, people associate the term “mental health” with derogatory words, stigma, as well as prejudice. Here at Long Island EMDR it is our mission to separate ourselves from what may be so heavily broadcasted.
Throughout the past couple of years, the term “mental health” has been in the spotlight due to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic and its numerous effects on people’s mental well-being. However, much more is needed than an ongoing movement. In order for the movement to be effective, people must become comfortable with feeling! There are several organizations that have been created in order to support mental health treatment, advocacy, as well as research. Some of the organizations are:
- American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
- Strong Minds- Mental Health Africa
- The Trevor Project
- Born this Way Foundation
- National Alliance on Mental Illness
But what about you?
Are you ready to start feeling? If the answer is yes, then let's begin meet with a Suffolk County therapist! If the answer is no, that is completely okay and you are on the right path towards doing so! Here are some steps that will help you start the journey towards an improved mental state of mind:
- Identify: What exactly are you uncomfortable with feeling? Do you think it’s generalized or do you think that it’s situational? Asking yourself some questions about what you are feeling, experiencing, thinking is a great way to put a label to some of the emotions that are running through your head. But, once you identify the emotion, what do you do with it?
- Self-compassion- The term compassion is defined as, “sympathetic pity and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.” If we are able to have this sense of compassion towards others, why can’t we treat ourselves the same? Because it’s hard to!! Being nice to ourselves is more than just giving ourselves a pat on the back, acknowledge the pain or even acknowledge the happiness.
- Self-awareness- Having a good sense of self-awareness can continue to help you practice self-compassion, mindfulness, coping skills, etc. You can practice self-awareness through journaling, meditating, breathing exercises, anything that allows you to focus on yourself.
- Talk- Sometimes being alone with your own thoughts, feelings, and/or emotions can be overwhelming and intimidating. Which is normal, and why talking to others is so heavily encouraged. Being able to talk with a friend or family member may seem awkward or uncomfortable, but you may be opening a door that needs to be opened. Talking with a therapist is another great way to explore your mental health.
Now ask yourself again, are you a stranger to learning more about your own mental health and are you ready to explore? If so call our office to meet with a Suffolk County therapist. I’d love to guide you on that Journey.
As human beings we are ever-growing. As time goes by we encounter new things that pique our interest or reflect on habits that we would like to take on. Despite having the mental motivation to form a new habit, we don’t always have the full buy-in to start the process. As a therapist specializing in depression therapy, I have some pro-tips to help you begin to tackle that beast. There are many ways to harness your motivation to get you towards your goals so we’ve included a short list of ways to ignite your inner fire to form a new habit.
- Reflect on Habits You Have Already Made
Sometimes getting started is the most difficult part and we need an extra boost to get going, especially when you are experiencing depression. One way to do this is to remember all the habits we have already formed to remind us of our past accomplishments with the goal for bringing that same energy into the present as we embark on forming a new habit. Another benefit of reminding ourselves of our capacity to grow is giving ourselves some positive reinforcement. While forming a new habit we can be quite hard on ourselves for any bumps we encounter along the process, however by reminding ourselves of times when we have overcome similar barriers we can redirect our focus to our ability to change and persevere.
- Make A List of Some Habits You Would Like To Have
Once you have that extra boost from reflecting on past accomplishments you can start to make a short list of habits you would like to have and choose which habit you would like to focus on. For more details on setting your intention, please see our blog post here.
- Embody the Person Who Has The Habit
Now that we have a clear idea of our ability to change and a clear goal in mind, we can begin to embody the qualities of a person who has the habit we would like to have. By connecting with qualities of the person who has our desired habit, we will further reinforce our belief in our own capacity to change our patterns. Depression does not need to run your life.
Forming new habits can be challenging and re-establishing our connection with our inherent motivation can be a key factor to our success. If you feel like you need additional support in enhancing your motivation, please call our office to meet with a therapist to help support you in your goals to live a full life.
Best,
Now more than ever, tension between those with differing political opinions is at an all time high. Challenges with the economy, a global pandemic, racial inequality, gun violence, and more-all of these issues have many looking toward a greater entity like our government help find a solution. Frustration, hopelessness, despair, and fear are prevalent, which has contributed to the intensity of the current political discord. What do you do when some of the strongest differences of beliefs and opinions are with your family and friends? Here are some strategies on how to handle political disagreements with the ones we love while respecting and preserving your mental health.
- Avoid the topic all together.
There is no shame in knowing your triggers and doing your best to avoid them. Oftentimes, it is necessary to separate yourself until you are able to learn and incorporate the coping skills to manage your emotions when confronted with these troubling situations. This may not be a permanent solution; however, it can be a very valuable gift of self-compassion to know your emotional limitations. For some individuals you come across, it may never be a good idea to engage with them on this topic. Be brave enough to take a step back and avoid putting yourself in the line of fire to be hurt emotionally.
- Be open-minded
Some of you may scoff at this suggestion, stating to yourself, “ME be open minded? THEY need to be open minded!” This is where the expression, “Be the change you wish to see in the world” comes into play. Try to understand why the person thinks the way they do before dismissing their believes as outlandish or illogical. Suspend your judgements, and instead embody an attitude of curiosity and understanding. This will decrease defensiveness in the conversation and increase the likelihood that the other person will listen to what you have to say.
- Remain calm.
As stated earlier, there are a number important issues at stake in the political sphere, which in turn can result in individuals being very passionate about their beliefs. This passion can easily turn to anger when not harnessed properly, or you come across someone with beliefs that you think are “part of the problem.” Anger clouds rational thought, and no productive discussion will occur when anger arises. Take deep breathes in and out through the nose. Do your best to keep your voice volume low and free of anger or sarcasm. Maintain non-confrontational body language through relaxed gestures, posture, and body movement. Even if the other person begins to escalate, if you remain calm it will most likely prevent the conversation from turning into an argument. Remind yourself, “This discussion is not worth my peace of mind.”
- Find Common Ground.
It is easy to focus on all of the ways that we are different from one another. In a political climate that pins one group against another, it can be challenging to avoid getting caught up in that line of thinking for ourselves. However, as a clinician who has extensive experience studying human behavior, one fact I know to be true is this: We are a lot more alike than we are different. Although the path to getting there may differ, most people are striving for happiness, safety, and connection. It may be helpful to try and find an issue you both can agree on in order to foster a mentality of togetherness rather than division. Look for even the smallest of opportunities to point out beliefs/values/desires that are similar. Doing so can be helpful in fostering the dynamic and of understanding, which will lead to a much more productive conversation.
- Know when to walk away.
Learning how to handle political disagreements with the ones we love, involves learning when to walk away. Oftentimes, political conversations have a tendency of continuing in circles until one person gives up, stating, “Let’s just agree to disagree.” Although this statement may seem harmless, it can leave both parties feeling unheard and as if the conversation was a waste of time. Instead, try to end the conversation before it gets either too repetitive, argumentative, emotional, or unproductive. End the conversation by stating something like, “I appreciate the information you’ve given me. It has given me a lot to think about. Let’s revisit this at another time.” This ends the conversation respectfully, as well as validating the other person’s time and energy put forth into speaking with you.
I hope you find these strategies helpful in maintaining peace of mind amongst what can be a triggering topic. Always remember to prioritize your mental health, reach out for support, and practice self-care before and after each interaction. You’ve got this!
Let’s be honest… the majority of people use social media every day. Social media is great in so many ways- it allows us to stay in touch with friends and family all across the world, helps us spread awareness about causes we care about and share meaningful events in our lives. As with everything some aspects of social media are not as great as others. As social media platforms advance and offer new ways to connect with other people, it also offers new ways to get access to more content faster which may cause us to spend more time scrolling through posts than we would like to admit.
Here are some tips on how to build a healthier relationship with social media
- Notice the Types of Content You Are Viewing
Each social media platform allows us to follow specific types of accounts with certain types of content. Take an inventory of the posts you’re seeing and notice what the overall message is. Notice how you feel about yourself after viewing your feed and identify what type of content could be causing you to feel negatively about yourself.
- Unfollow Accounts That Make You Feel Bad About Yourself
If you take an objective look at the types of accounts you follow and realize the majority of content features people who have body types that make you see yourself in a negative light, it is time to unfollow the account. We can unknowingly follow multiple accounts featuring people with idealized body types or lifestyles that can flood us with indirect messages saying that we aren’t enough. This can make us feel like we have to overcompensate to feel valid on the same platform that is making us feel “less-than” so we post content that we don’t always connect with to feel like we fit in. If you notice accounts you are following are causing this negative reaction within yourself, this can be an opportunity to follow content that sends positive affirmations so social media can truly be a fun pastime as intended.
- Pay Attention to How Many Hours/Day You Are On Your Phone
It’s unlikely that we keep a timer on while we’re doing a quick scroll through social media while we wait for a meeting to start or while we’re hanging out on the couch. We don’t realize that a quick 10 minutes here and there can actually add up to a few hours of our day. There are applications and settings on our smartphones that can help us keep track of our screen time. By genuinely tracking our screen time we can realize how much time per day we are actually disconnected from our present environment.
- Be Kind to Yourself
We can have a lot of judgments towards ourselves about our social media intake. Self-judgment is unhelpful because it further validates negative feelings we have about ourselves. This is why our final recommendation to build a healthier relationship with social media is to be kind to yourself if you choose to examine your current social media habits. Sometimes things get away from us other times we don’t realize the impact something has on us until we’re invited to take a look. Whatever your process is, be kind to yourself and remember that we can only do the best we can with the information available to us at the time.
We all deserve to feel good about ourselves and we are all worthy of receiving content that will encourage us to think realistically and highly of ourselves. If you struggle with a negative self-image, please give our office a call so we can create a space to recognize your strengths together.