Some days, it feels like I’m two people.
There’s a quiet, wise voice—my higher self—whispering, “You’re okay. It’s hard, but you’re doing your best. Breathe. Keep going.”
But then there’s another voice. Louder. Raw. A younger version of me who screams, “This isn’t fair! I’m tired! I want someone to fix it or at least let me rest!”
This is the everyday tug-of-war that Internal Family Systems (IFS) calls polarization: when parts of us battle each other for control, safety, or love.
IFS teaches that we’re not a single, static identity—but a beautifully layered system of inner parts, each trying to protect us.
Some of mine?
Learning to listen to these parts, rather than silence or shame them, is the heart of inner child healing.
When two parts lock into opposition—like mine do often—it’s not sabotage. It’s strategy. It’s protection. It's legacy.
My inner child wants safety, comfort, care. She’s not lazy; she’s tired from holding decades of unmet needs.
My higher self isn’t dismissive; she’s the part of me that’s seen that I can survive hard things.
Through IFS, I’ve learned to stop picking sides—and start creating space where both voices can be heard.
These inner battles often stem from childhood wounds, moments we had to “be strong” before we were ready. In response, some parts became overly responsible, while others held onto grief, rage, or fatigue.
IFS and inner child healing help us:
Next time you feel that pull—keep going or give up—try this IFS-inspired check-in:
IFS isn’t just feel-good fluff—it’s backed by evidence:
If you’re curious to begin your own journey of inner child healing through IFS, here’s what helped me:
Your exhaustion isn’t weakness. Your inner child’s tantrum isn’t immaturity. Your calm voice isn’t naïve optimism.
They're all you. They're all worthy of love.
IFS taught me this: The battle within isn’t something to win—it’s something to understand. And when you do, something shifts.
The voices get softer. The tension loosens. And in that space, healing begins. Contact us today to work with an IFS trained therapist.
Sending Love & Light,