Dear fellow neurodivergent parent,

If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your child’s stimming or wondered about your own habits and mental health—like tapping, pacing, or humming—this is for you. Stimming isn’t something to fear or fix. It’s as normal for neurodivergent individuals as breathing, and embracing it can help us thrive as parents, partners, and individuals.

Let’s explore what stimming is, why it’s so important, and how we can reduce the shame and stigma around it—for ourselves and our kids.

What Is Stimming?

Stimming, short for “self-stimulatory behavior,” refers to repetitive actions that help regulate emotions or sensory experiences. For neurodivergent individuals, stimming is a natural and meaningful way to:

• Find calm during overwhelming moments.

• Process sensory input in a world that can feel too loud or chaotic.

• Express emotions when words aren’t enough.

Some common examples of stimming include:

• Hand-flapping or finger-tapping

• Rocking back and forth

• Twirling hair or spinning objects

• Repeating words or phrases (echolalia)

• Playing with sensory toys like fidgets

Why Do Neurodivergent Individuals Stim?

Stimming helps the brain regulate itself, much like taking deep breaths when stressed. For neurodivergent individuals, it can serve a variety of purposes:

1. Regulating Sensory Input

The neurodivergent brain processes sensory input differently. Stimming helps block out overwhelming sensations or provides the stimulation needed to stay focused.

2. Managing Emotions

Big feelings—whether they’re joy, anxiety, or frustration—can feel even bigger for neurodivergent people. Stimming helps release and balance these emotions.

3. Communicating Needs

For individuals who are nonverbal or struggle with emotional expression, stimming can be a way to communicate: I’m excited, I’m stressed, or I need space.

How Does Stimming Impact Mental Health?

When embraced, stimming has many positive effects on mental health. However, societal misunderstanding and stigma can create challenges.

The Positives

• Stress Relief: Stimming acts as a natural stress reliever, like a built-in coping mechanism.

• Focus and Grounding: It helps redirect attention and provides comfort in high-pressure situations.

• Self-Expression: Stimming can be joyful and empowering, offering a way to feel connected to your body and emotions.

The Challenges

The real problem isn’t stimming—it’s how the world reacts to it. Misunderstanding, judgment, and pressure to “stop” stimming can lead to:

• Shame and Anxiety: Feeling judged for stimming can cause self-doubt and emotional distress.

• Masking Behavior: Suppressing stimming to fit in can result in burnout, sensory overload, and emotional dysregulation.

How to Reduce Shame Around Stimming

Here’s the good news: you have the power to create a world where stimming is accepted and celebrated—starting in your own home.

1. Normalize Stimming

Talk about stimming as a natural and healthy behavior. Explain to your kids (and remind yourself!) that it’s their body’s way of taking care of them.

2. Create Safe Stimming Spaces

Make sure your home, school, or work environment allows for stimming without judgment. This might mean giving your child access to sensory tools or advocating for understanding with teachers and caregivers.

3. Reframe Stimming as a Superpower

Instead of seeing stimming as a distraction or “quirk,” celebrate it as a strength. It’s a tool that helps neurodivergent individuals process the world in their own unique way.

4. Use Tools and Resources

Fidget toys, weighted blankets, and other sensory-friendly items can make stimming more accessible and enjoyable.

My Journey as a Neurodivergent Mom

I’ll be honest—embracing stimming hasn’t always been easy. Growing up, I was told to “stop fidgeting” or “sit still,” and I carried that shame for years. But as I learned more about my neurodivergent brain, I realized stimming wasn’t something to hide—it was a way to thrive.

Now, as a mom, I let my kids see me stim. When I tap my fingers during a tough moment or hum to calm myself, I’m showing them it’s okay to regulate their emotions in their own way. In turn, they’ve felt freer to flap, spin, and stim without fear of judgment.

Additional Resources for Parents

If you’d like to learn more about stimming and how to support neurodivergent individuals, here are some helpful tools:

• Books:

• Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Barry M. Prizant

• NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman

• Online Communities:

• Autistic Self Advocacy Network (ASAN)

• ADDitude Magazine

• Sensory Tools:

• Fidget spinners, chewable jewelry, and noise-canceling headphones are widely available online and in stores.

Stimming Is a Superpower, Not a Problem

Here’s the truth: stimming is as normal as breathing. It’s not something we need to fix or hide—it’s a vital part of how neurodivergent individuals thrive.

When we embrace stimming as a strength, we create a world where neurodivergent people feel safe, accepted, and celebrated—for exactly who they are.

With love and understanding,

Jamie

Have you ever noticed how certain emotions push you toward behaviors you later regret? Maybe it’s a rough day at work that makes you reach for a drink or feelings of loneliness that tempt you to escape through substances. These moments, driven by emotional triggers, can feel like they control you. But the truth is, they don’t have to define your choices. By understanding emotional triggers that lead to substance abuse and learning how to manage them, you can break free from harmful patterns. This guide will walk you through actionable steps to recognize them, build healthier coping mechanisms, and find lasting relief from the cycle of emotional stress and substance use.

What are emotional triggers?

Emotional triggers are those intense feelings or experiences that spark an immediate, often overwhelming, reaction in you. They’re deeply tied to your:

● Past experiences
● Unresolved emotions and trauma
● Coping mechanisms developed over time

When it comes to emotions that can drive substance abuse, sadness seems to play a major role. This is according to a report in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, which analyzed data from over 10,000 people across four studies spanning 20 years.

When emotional triggers lead to substance abuse, it’s often because substances provide a temporary escape or relief. These short-term fixes, however, create a harmful cycle where triggers reinforce substance dependence. This makes it all the more harder to break free.

How to identify your emotional triggers?

It's not enough to know what emotional triggers are. You need to learn how to recognize them in you.

Start by asking yourself: What moments or feelings tend to push me toward substance use? Triggers aren’t always obvious—they can hide in routines or habits that feel automatic.

Thus, to identify your triggers, be sure to:

Keep a trigger journal

Grab a notebook (or a phone) to write down moments when you feel overwhelmed. What were you doing? Who were you with? How did you feel? Over time, patterns will emerge.

Look for subtle signs

Sometimes, triggers show up as physical sensations—tight shoulders, a racing heart, or a gnawing feeling in your stomach. Other times, they’re linked to recurring thoughts, like I can’t handle this or I need a break. Tuning into these signs can help you catch a trigger before it takes over.

Connect the dots

Once you start noticing patterns, dig deeper. Why does this trigger affect you so strongly? For instance, if criticism from a boss makes you spiral, it could stem from past feelings of inadequacy. Understanding the “why” behind your triggers gives you the power to address them at their root.

Strategies to manage emotional triggers that lead to substance abuse

Once you’ve identified your emotional triggers, the next challenge is figuring out how to respond to them in healthier ways. That said, here are a few ideas on how to do so.

1 Develop healthy coping mechanisms

When emotions hit hard, it’s natural to want some kind of relief. But instead of turning to substances, try channeling that energy into healthy habits.

If stress is your go-to trigger, a quick workout or even a walk outside can do wonders to clear your head. Feeling lonely? Call a friend or pour your thoughts into a journal—it can be surprisingly freeing.

Sure, these alternatives might feel awkward or forced at first, but stick with them. Over time,
they’ll become second nature, and you’ll feel the difference.

2 Practice mindfulness

When a trigger arises, take a moment to breathe and ground yourself. Mindfulness won’t make triggers disappear, though. Still, it can prevent them from spiraling into substance abuse.

3 Set boundaries

Triggers are often linked to people, places, or situations that drain your emotional energy. If certain environments or relationships consistently push you toward substance use, it’s time to set boundaries. This might mean saying no to events where substances are heavily present or limiting contact with people who create unnecessary stress.

4 Create a distraction plan

When a trigger hits, the urge to react can feel overpowering. Having a pre-planned distraction can help you ride out the wave. Watch a favorite show, dive into a hobby, organize your space, or do anything that shifts your focus for long enough to regain control.

5 Build a support system

You don’t have to manage triggers alone. Surround yourself with people who encourage and uplift you. This could be friends, family, or even a support group where others understand what you’re going through.

6 Replace triggers with positive routines

Some triggers come from gaps in your routine, like idle time that fuels negative thinking. Fill those gaps with meaningful activities. Pick up a new skill, commit to regular exercise, or explore creative outlets. Positive routines will help rewire your response to emotional stress.

Seeking help

Despite your best efforts, managing emotional triggers on your own can feel like an uphill battle.

But who said you had to go through it alone?

In fact, there are treatment facilities that exist for the sole purpose of helping individuals struggling with addiction regain control of their lives. Mental health professionals at Tranquility Recovery Center can help you identify emotional triggers that lead to substance abuse and teach you how to manage them in a way that involves no substances.

Of course, there’s also comfort in knowing you’re not alone. Thus, groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), or SMART Recovery can be a good place to share your struggles and find support from those who've been in your shoes. Here, you'll also find a ''sponsor'' whom you can contact whenever you feel a trigger will lead you toward a dark path.

No matter the kind of help, know that the sooner you seek it, the easier it will be to address your triggers. Not sure where to start? A simple call to a local helpline or a conversation with your doctor can open doors to the support you need.

The bottom line

Your triggers don’t define you—they’re just part of the story. The real power lies in how you choose to respond. Every time you recognize emotional triggers that lead to substance abuse and face them without turning to substances, you’re breaking the cycle. But to actually get to this point, you need to understand your triggers first. Once you do, you can work toward building healthier habits step by step. Of course, if you can't do it alone, help is just a call or session away. And know this: asking for help doesn't make you weak. On the contrary, it makes you stronger than you'll ever know. The road to recovery is hard, but your willingness to change proves your strength. Keep fighting, and sooner than you know, you'll not only be managing your triggers. You'll own them!

When I first began my EMDR journey, I didn’t realize how much it would open the door to meeting and healing the many parts of myself. Through Internal Family Systems (IFS) work, I learned to connect with these inner parts—the protector, the exile, the wounded child—and to understand their roles in my life. It was humbling and emotional, but also deeply empowering.

Among all these parts, my inner child stood out. She carried so much of the vulnerability and pain I had long buried. She also held the joy, curiosity, and hope I longed to rediscover. Learning to reparent her—to be the caregiver, protector, and nurturer she always needed—became one of the most profound aspects of my healing.

Yet, it was Yoga Nidra that truly reinforced and deepened this process. It offered me a way to nurture her in the quietest and most loving of ways.

The Gentle Intersection of IFS and Yoga Nidra

IFS taught me to approach my inner parts with curiosity and compassion. Yoga Nidra became the safe container for these conversations. During one particular practice, as the guide invited me to visualize my inner child, I found her waiting in a warm, inviting space. She wasn’t angry or scared—she was just waiting for me, with quiet trust.

Using the tools I had learned in EMDR and IFS, I approached her with love and reassurance. In that moment, I could feel the integration happening. The protective parts of me stepped aside, letting me connect with her without fear. The exile within me softened, allowing the pain she carried to be acknowledged without shame.

Reparenting Through Presence

In this Yoga Nidra session, I spoke to my inner child with the words I wished I had heard when I was younger:

“I see you, my love. You are safe now. You don’t have to carry the weight of guilt or shame anymore. I am here to protect you.”

Each word felt like a thread, weaving together a stronger bond between us. And as I embraced her—both in my mind and in my heart—I could feel her trust in me grow. It was a deeply moving moment, one that solidified the reparenting I’d been working on for months in therapy.

The Role of Yoga Nidra in Healing

Yoga Nidra makes such a powerful companion to IFS and EMDR. This is because of its ability to create a calm, nonjudgmental space where healing can unfold naturally. In these sessions, I can connect with my inner child in a way that feels intuitive and safe. The guided relaxation quiets the noise of the outside world, making space for the soft whispers of my soul.

Yoga Nidra also reinforces the new, healthier patterns I’m building through reparenting. By consistently returning to this practice, I’m teaching my inner child—and myself—that safety, love, and care are available to us now.

An Invitation to Your Journey

If you’re exploring Internal Family Systems, EMDR, or any other therapeutic modality, I encourage you to try Yoga Nidra as a way to deepen your healing. Imagine it as a bridge that connects your inner work to the present moment, allowing you to embody the safety and love you’re cultivating within.

Healing isn’t linear, and it isn’t always easy. But in these moments of connection—when you sit with your inner child, hold her hand, and promise her the care she deserves—you take one more step toward wholeness. And that, I’ve learned, is a gift worth giving yourself.

If you’re anything like me—or the high-achieving women I work with—you’ve probably set a resolution for this year that feels deeply personal:

• Heal from the mental load that’s keeping you stuck.

• Stop second-guessing yourself at work and at home.

• Finally feel good enough.

But with so many demands pulling you in every direction—work deadlines, parenting challenges, and the constant pressure to be everything for everyone—it’s easy to feel like your resolution is already slipping through your fingers.

What if I told you there’s a way to experience the kind of shift you’re longing for—quickly and deeply? No dragging it out over months of therapy. No “just one more thing” on your to-do list. Just you, a focused weekend, and real, lasting breakthroughs.

This is the power of EMDR intensives.

Why EMDR Works for Women Like You

As a high-achieving woman, you’ve likely spent years powering through tough moments, holding it all together, and pushing down the pain of never quite feeling “enough.” EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a proven approach to help you process unresolved trauma, perfectionism, and negative beliefs that keep you stuck in cycles of anxiety, burnout, or self-doubt.

And while traditional therapy can feel like a slow drip of relief, EMDR intensives offer a focused, accelerated path to healing—perfect for women who need results without adding to their already-full schedules.

How EMDR Intensives Work for Busy, High-Achieving Women

1. Condensed Transformation in a Fraction of the Time:

Weekly therapy can feel like a long, winding road that competes with everything else in your life. EMDR intensives condense months of therapy into one weekend of focused attention, allowing you to clear out emotional clutter and make space for the things that really matter.

2. Immediate Results You Can Feel:

Whether it’s shedding the weight of impostor syndrome, releasing the fear of letting someone down, or breaking free from overwhelm, you’ll leave the weekend feeling lighter, more grounded, and ready to take on your life with clarity and confidence.

3. Designed for High Achieving Women Who Do It All:

You’re not here for vague advice or one-size-fits-all solutions. EMDR intensives are tailored specifically to your needs—your struggles, your goals, your vision for who you want to be.

4. A Fresh Start That Lasts All Year:

Instead of spinning your wheels or waiting for change to come, you’ll build momentum that carries you through the year with purpose and strength. The tools you gain during your intensive will help you keep moving forward—long after the weekend ends.

This Is Your Year to Finally Feel Free

If you’ve spent years holding onto patterns that no longer serve you—perfectionism, people-pleasing, constantly running on empty—this is your chance to let it go. In just one weekend, you can take a major step toward healing the wounds that hold you back and reconnecting with the woman you know you’re meant to be.

This isn’t about adding one more thing to your plate. It’s about giving yourself the permission to finally let go of what’s keeping you stuck.

You’ve spent so much time doing it all for everyone else.

Are you ready to check off your most important resolution and step into 2025 with clarity, confidence, and freedom? Let’s talk about how an EMDR intensive can help you start this year on your terms.

As the New Year approaches, many families feel the pressure to establish elaborate traditions that mirror idealized images seen in media. However, the essence of family traditions lies not in their complexity but in the meaning and connection they foster among family members.

The Importance of Family Traditions

Family traditions and routines serve as powerful organizers of family life, offering stability during times of stress and transition. Research has shown that these practices are associated with marital satisfaction, adolescents’ sense of personal identity, children’s health, academic achievement, and stronger family relationships.

Creating Meaningful Traditions

2. Keep It Simple: Traditions don’t have to be elaborate to be meaningful. Simple activities like a weekly family game night or a New Year’s Day nature walk can become cherished rituals that strengthen family bonds.

3. Involve Everyone: Encourage each family member to contribute ideas for new traditions. This inclusion fosters a sense of ownership and ensures the traditions are meaningful to all.

4. Be Flexible: Allow traditions to evolve as your family grows and changes. Flexibility ensures that traditions remain relevant and enjoyable rather than becoming sources of stress.

Benefits of Family Traditions

Engaging in family traditions provides a predictable structure that guides behavior and creates an emotional environment that supports development. Consistent daily routines have been associated with children’s well-being, including improved behavior and social skills.

Conclusion

As you welcome the New Year, focus on creating or continuing family traditions that reflect your unique family dynamics and values. Remember, the goal is to foster connection and joy, not to meet external expectations. Embrace the simplicity and authenticity of your family’s traditions, and let them be a source of comfort and unity in the year ahead.

As a neurodivergent mom navigating the ups and downs of parenting, I’ve personally experienced how life-changing Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can be. EMDR therapy gave me the tools to process my past, calm my nervous system, and show up as the mindful parent I’ve always wanted to be. For neurodivergent moms and other individuals like me, who often feel overstimulated and overwhelmed, EMDR offers a path to healing that feels safe, supportive, and empowering.

What Is EMDR?

EMDR is a therapy designed to help people process and release distressing memories. It uses guided movements, like following a therapist’s fingers, or other forms of bilateral stimulation to help the brain “reorganize” how it stores past experiences. It’s been widely studied for trauma, but recent research is shining a light on its potential benefits for neurodivergent individuals, including those with ADHD and autism.

Benefits of EMDR for Neurodivergent Individuals

1. Emotional Regulation
   For neurodivergent moms, processing emotions can sometimes feel like navigating a storm. EMDR helps calm those emotional waves by addressing the root of the distress. I found it transformative in helping me respond rather than react during challenging parenting moments.
2. Reduction in Anxiety and Stress
   EMDR can help untangle the web of anxiety that many neurodivergent people face daily. By reprocessing triggering memories, EMDR can reduce the weight of worry and create space for a greater sense of peace.
3. Improved Focus and Clarity
   For those with ADHD, unresolved stress or trauma can make it harder to focus. EMDR helps clear mental clutter, allowing individuals to approach tasks with a clearer mind.
4. Boosted Confidence and Self-Worth
   Negative self-talk can be a constant companion for neurodivergent individuals. EMDR replaces those intrusive thoughts with healthier, affirming beliefs. Personally, it’s helped me shift from “I’m not good enough” to “I am more than enough.”
5. Stronger Relationships
   As a mom, I’ve seen firsthand how EMDR has made me more present and connected with my kids. Many neurodivergent individuals also find it helps reduce social anxiety, making it easier to connect with others.

How EMDR Can Be Adapted for Neurodivergent Individuals

The neurodivergent brain is beautifully unique, and EMDR works best when tailored to each person’s needs. Here are some ways therapists can adapt EMDR for neurodivergent individuals:

• Clear and Simple Communication
  Therapists can explain EMDR techniques in plain language and use visual aids to help individuals understand the process.
• Sensory Sensitivity Awareness
  Creating a sensory-friendly environment—whether that means dimming lights or avoiding certain sounds—can make the experience more comfortable.

• Building Trust
  A strong therapeutic relationship is key. This means therapists need to meet clients where they are and move at a pace that feels right.

Potential Challenges and How to Address Them

While EMDR is incredibly effective, neurodivergent individuals might face unique challenges:

• Communication Differences
  Some neurodivergent individuals may struggle to articulate their feelings or experiences. A therapist skilled in alternative communication methods can bridge this gap.
• Sensory Overload
  The bilateral stimulation used in EMDR can sometimes feel overwhelming. Therapists can modify techniques to suit sensory preferences, such as using gentle tapping instead of eye movements.

By being aware of these potential challenges, EMDR therapists can ensure that neurodivergent individuals feel supported and understood throughout their healing journey.

The Personal Impact of EMDR for Neurodivergent Moms

As a neurodivergent mom, my EMDR sessions felt like peeling back layers of doubt, fear, and overwhelm to uncover the confident, mindful parent within. It’s helped me stay present during meltdowns, embrace imperfection, and give my kids the unconditional love they deserve.

If you’re a neurodivergent individual considering EMDR, know that it’s more than a therapy—it’s a gift to yourself and those you love.

As a mom, your schedule is a nonstop whirlwind of school pickups, work deadlines, meal prep, and everything in between. It's no wonder the idea of taking time for therapy or self-care feels impossible. You’re not alone in thinking, “How can I make time for me when everyone else depends on me?”

The truth is, making time for your own healing isn’t just important—it’s essential. When you prioritize your well-being, you’re better equipped to care for your family, manage stress, and enjoy your life. Let’s explore realistic ways to carve out time for therapy, healing, and self-care, even with the busiest of schedules, and why EMDR intensives might be the perfect solution for moms on the go.

Why Healing Matters for Moms

Burnout and unresolved stress don’t just affect you—they ripple out to your family, work, and relationships. Healing isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity for:

• Being Present: When you’re calm and regulated, you can fully engage with your kids and loved ones.
• Breaking Cycles: Addressing old patterns helps ensure you don’t pass unresolved trauma to the next generation.
• Reclaiming Joy: Healing allows you to reconnect with who you are beyond your roles as mom, partner, or professional.

Investing in yourself benefits everyone around you—but how can you fit it into an already packed schedule?

5 Tips for Making Time for Healing

1. Shift Your Mindset: You Deserve This

The first step is recognizing that your healing is a priority, not a luxury. Moms often feel guilty for taking time for themselves, but think of it this way: when you’re well, your family thrives.

• Reframe Self-Care: See therapy and self-care as non-negotiable, like feeding your kids or paying bills.
• Start Small: Even 30 minutes a week to focus on yourself can make a difference.

2. Audit Your Schedule

A packed schedule often includes obligations that aren’t as critical as they feel. Take a close look at where your time is going:

• Identify Time-Wasters: Are you spending too much time scrolling social media or saying yes to activities out of guilt?
• Delegate: Let go of tasks that others can handle—whether it’s meal delivery, hiring a babysitter, or asking your partner to take over bedtime routines.
• Create Pockets of Time: Combine self-care with downtime. For example, listen to a mindfulness app while waiting in the carpool line.

3. Build a Village

Mom's often carry an invisible mental load, which feels like more tasks on a busy schedule already, but you don’t have to do it all alone.

• Ask for Help: Reach out to family, friends, or neighbors for support. People are often happy to pitch in—they just need to be asked.
• Share Responsibilities: If you have a partner, divide parenting and household duties to free up time for yourself.
• Join a Community: Find groups or networks of moms who can offer encouragement and share resources.

4. Schedule Self-Care Like an Appointment

When something is on your calendar, it’s more likely to happen. Treat therapy and self-care like any other commitment.

• Set Regular Time Blocks: Carve out specific times each week for your mental health. Even if it’s only 15 minutes a day, consistency matters. Even with a mom's busy schedule self care time blocks can work!
• Plan Ahead: Let your family know when you’ll be unavailable and arrange coverage in advance.

5. Consider EMDR Intensives for Faster Results

One of the biggest barriers to healing for busy moms is the time commitment of traditional therapy, which often involves weekly sessions over months or even years. This is where EMDR intensives shine.

What is an EMDR Intensive?
An EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) intensive condenses weeks of therapy into 1–3 full or half-day sessions. It’s a highly focused format designed to help you make significant progress in a short amount of time.

Why Moms Love Intensives:

• Time-Efficient: Instead of committing to months of therapy, you can address core issues in just a few days.
• Flexible Scheduling: Intensives can often be planned around your availability, such as during a long weekend or when you have childcare.
• Immediate Relief: Many moms notice a tangible difference in their emotional well-being after just one intensive.

What Happens During an EMDR Intensive?

An EMDR intensive is structured to maximize healing while ensuring you feel supported and safe, and fitting into any mom's schedule. Here’s what you can expect:

1. Preparation: You’ll learn grounding techniques and set goals for the intensive.
2. Processing: The core part of the session involves reprocessing painful memories or triggers using bilateral stimulation (e.g., guided eye movements).
3. Closure: Each session ends with grounding exercises to leave you feeling calm and empowered.

The best part? You’ll walk away with tools and strategies to continue your healing journey long after the session ends.

How to Get Started

Imagine how different life could feel if you:

Making time for your own healing might feel impossible at first, but with small shifts in your mindset and schedule, it can become a reality. And if you’re ready for a solution that fits your busy life, an EMDR intensive could be the perfect fit.

• Stopped reacting to triggers with frustration or yelling.
• Had more patience, calm, and joy in your daily life.
• Finally felt like you again, not just a mom juggling a million things.

Healing is possible, and it doesn’t have to take forever.

Ready to make time for YOU?
Click here to schedule your free consultation and learn how an EMDR intensive can help you reclaim your balance and thrive as the amazing mom you already are.

Because you deserve to feel whole, happy, and present—for your family and for yourself.

Parenting is no small feat. For many moms, the daily juggling act of work, family, and life’s endless demands can bring up feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, or even triggers from their own past. If you’ve heard about EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) as a therapeutic option, you might be curious—but also have questions about how it works and whether it’s right for you.

Let’s break down some of the most common questions moms ask about EMDR and provide clear answers to help you decide if it could be the right step toward healing.

1. What is EMDR, and how does it work?

EMDR is an evidence-based therapy designed to help individuals process and heal from trauma, stress, and negative experiences. Instead of traditional talk therapy, EMDR uses bilateral stimulation (such as eye movements, tapping, or audio tones) to help your brain reprocess distressing memories or triggers.

Here’s how it works:

• When something upsetting happens, your brain might store it in a way that feels "stuck," leaving you feeling triggered even years later.
• EMDR helps your brain reprocess these experiences so they no longer cause intense emotional reactions.
• The result? You feel calmer, less reactive, and more in control.

2. Is EMDR just for trauma survivors?

While EMDR was initially developed for people with PTSD, it’s effective for a wide range of issues, including:

• Anxiety and overwhelm.
• Negative self-beliefs (e.g., "I’m not a good mom").
• Chronic stress or burnout.
• Triggers that stem from childhood experiences, such as being yelled at or feeling unsupported.

For moms, EMDR can address not only past trauma but also how those experiences show up in your parenting today—like reacting strongly when your child doesn’t listen or struggling with perfectionism.

3. What does an EMDR session look like?

Each session is structured to help you feel safe and supported as you work through challenging emotions. Here’s a general outline:

Closure: Each session ends with grounding exercises to ensure you leave feeling stable and calm.

History-taking: Your therapist will gather information about your life, triggers, and what you want to work on.

Preparation: You’ll learn calming techniques and coping strategies to use during and outside of therapy.

Reprocessing: During the core part of the session, you’ll focus on a specific memory or feeling while following the therapist’s bilateral stimulation (e.g., moving your eyes back and forth). This helps your brain reprocess the experience in a way that reduces its emotional charge.

4. How long does EMDR take?

This depends on your goals and the complexity of what you’re addressing. While traditional therapy might involve weekly sessions over months, EMDR can often produce results more quickly, especially with intensive formats.

For busy moms, EMDR intensives—where you work with a therapist for 1–3 full or half days—are a game-changer. They allow you to make significant progress in a short amount of time, which is ideal for those who can’t commit to long-term therapy.

5. Is EMDR safe for moms with young children?

Absolutely! EMDR is non-invasive and designed to be as gentle as possible. If your triggers or stress are related to parenting (like yelling or feelings of inadequacy), addressing these through EMDR can actually help you feel more present and calm with your children.

Plus, the preparation phase of EMDR often includes learning techniques to regulate your nervous system—skills that can be applied during those hectic moments of motherhood.

6. What if I’m afraid to revisit painful memories?

This is a common concern, and it’s valid. The thought of bringing up old wounds can feel intimidating, especially for moms who are already stretched thin emotionally.

The good news is that EMDR doesn’t require you to talk about the details of your trauma if you’re not ready. The focus is on how your brain stores the memory, not the specifics of the event. Your therapist will guide the process at your pace, ensuring you feel supported and safe.

7. How does EMDR help with mom burnout?

Burnout often stems from juggling too much while carrying unresolved stress or trauma. EMDR helps moms by:

• Releasing negative beliefs like "I have to do it all" or "I’m not enough."
• Calming the nervous system so you feel less reactive and more present.
• Addressing deep-rooted triggers that contribute to yelling, anxiety, or feelings of overwhelm.

Many moms report feeling lighter, more patient, and more focused after EMDR therapy.

8. Are EMDR intensives covered by insurance?

EMDR intensives are not covered by insurance, as they’re considered outside the scope of traditional therapy. We know therapy is an investment in your future. That’s why we offer:

• Flexible payment plans & 0% APR financing through CareCredit.
• Payment options like HSA/FSA and credit cards.
  Your healing is worth it.

9. What makes EMDR intensives different from regular sessions?

Traditional therapy sessions last around 50 minutes, which can sometimes feel too short to dive deeply into your concerns. EMDR intensives offer extended, focused time to work through your challenges without interruption.

For busy moms, this format is ideal because:

• You can make significant progress in a condensed timeframe.
• It eliminates the need for weekly sessions, which can be hard to schedule.
• You leave with noticeable relief and actionable tools to continue your healing journey.

10. How do I know if EMDR is right for me?

EMDR could be a great fit if:

You’re feeling stuck in patterns of stress, burnout, or reactivity.

Traditional talk therapy hasn’t provided the relief you’re looking for.

You want to heal deeply but don’t have the time for long-term therapy.

A consultation with an EMDR-trained therapist can help you determine whether it’s the right option for your unique situation.

Ready to Start Your EMDR Journey?

Motherhood is hard enough without carrying the weight of unresolved stress, burnout, or trauma. EMDR offers a pathway to healing that’s tailored for moms who need relief—quickly and effectively.

If you’re ready to stop yelling, calm your mind, and feel like yourself again, an EMDR intensive could be the perfect solution. In just 1–3 days, you can make life-changing progress and create space for the joy, patience, and confidence you deserve.

and take the first step toward healing for you—and your family.

You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be a caretaker—to always be the person others turn to, the one who holds everything together. I see you. I know how deeply you care. You give and give, often without a second thought, because that’s just who you are. And it’s beautiful. But it’s also exhausting, isn’t it?

Caretakers Are still Human

The truth is, if we’re always pouring out and never refilling our own cups, something’s gotta give. We end up drained, resentful, or feeling like there’s nothing left for ourselves. I’ve been there. It’s a hard place to be. We tell ourselves it’s noble, that we’re being selfless, but at what cost? If we’re constantly running on empty, who’s taking care of us? Who is our caretaker??

I want to tell you this: it’s okay to need care too. It’s okay to take a step back and say, “I need a moment.” We’ve been taught that taking care of ourselves is selfish. But let me flip that on its head: you can’t pour from an empty cup. When you’re running on fumes, you can’t show up for the people you love in the way you want to.

I deeply respect every person in the helping professions, every mom, every friend who gives so much of themselves. But I also want to say: you deserve to be cared for. You deserve rest. You deserve to be more than the person who fixes everyone else’s problems.

The Difference Between Caring and Taking Care Of

Here’s where it gets tricky. There’s a huge difference between caring about someone and taking care of everything for them. When we care, we hold space. We listen. We show up. But when we take on the role of caretaker for every need, every crisis, every hurt—well, that’s a heavy load to bear. It’s one thing to support someone. It’s another thing to carry their entire burden.

I know what you might be thinking: “But if I don’t take care of it, who will?” It feels impossible to let go. But here’s the thing—sometimes, our drive to take on everything isn’t just about being kind or selfless. Sometimes, it’s rooted in our own fear.

Maybe we believe that if we don’t fix everything, we won’t be valued or loved. We might feel afraid that stepping back makes us less worthy. Maybe we’ve spent so long believing our worth is tied to how much we do that the thought of doing less feels like failing.

But let’s get real for a second: it’s not failing. It’s freeing. When we step back, we give others the chance to rise, to find their own strength. And we give ourselves the space to breathe.

Boundaries Are Hard—But Necessary

I’m not saying it’s easy. Setting boundaries can feel like ripping off a Band-Aid, especially when you’re used to saying yes, to fixing, to overextending. But boundaries aren’t walls; they’re bridges. They let us connect in healthy ways, without losing ourselves in the process. When we say, “I can’t take this on right now,” we’re not abandoning anyone. We’re just making room to be present without being depleted.

I know it’s scary. You worry people will think you’re selfish or that they’ll walk away. But the people who truly value you will understand. They’ll respect your need to take care of yourself. And if they don’t? Well, maybe that’s a sign they were relying too heavily on you anyway.

Caring Doesn’t Mean Carrying Everything

You can be a caretaker and love deeply without becoming a martyr. You can be there for the people you care about without losing yourself. Healthy caring means holding space, not absorbing every bit of pain and responsibility. It means showing up with empathy but knowing when to step back. I know how hard that is—it feels like pulling away from a role you’ve known your whole life. But it’s necessary.

When we let go of the need to “take care of” everything, we also let go of the belief that we’re only worthy if we’re giving everything. We can just be. We can love and support without sacrificing our entire selves.

Taking Care of Yourself Is a Radical Act of Love

Here’s the truth: you deserve care too. You deserve to rest, to be supported, to be seen for more than what you can do for others. Being the caretaker of yourself isn’t just important; it’s radical. It sends a powerful message—to yourself and everyone around you—that your needs matter too.

When you set boundaries, when you prioritize your own well-being, you’re not just helping yourself—you’re showing others that it’s okay to do the same. You’re breaking cycles of over-giving and burnout. You’re creating space for healthier, more balanced relationships. And that’s powerful.

So, take a deep breath. Give yourself permission to let go of what’s not yours to carry. It’s okay to care deeply without taking on the weight of everyone else’s world. It’s okay to choose yourself. You’re worthy of care, just as you are. And when you show up for yourself, you’ll have so much more to give—to the people you love, to your passions, to your life. You don’t have to be everything to everyone. You just have to be you. And that is more than enough.

Uncovering The Roots That Keep You Stuck

If you find yourself struggling to break free from the role of rescuer or feel immense guilt every time you say no, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Intensive EMDR sessions can help you uncover the roots of these patterns, heal the wounds that keep you stuck, and build the resilience to set boundaries with compassion and confidence. If you’re ready to step out of the cycle and reclaim your energy, reach out—I’m here to walk that journey with you.

Let’s dive into something a lot of us struggle with—over-identification. You know that feeling when your identity gets all tangled up with your responsibilities? It’s like you’re carrying around a heavy backpack stuffed with everyone else’s needs, problems, and expectations. Before you know it, that load is exhausting, and you’ve lost sight of who you are outside of what you do. Sound familiar? It’s okay to care deeply about your work, your family, or your friends—but you’re so much more than the roles you play. So, let’s talk about how to start noticing when you’re slipping into this pattern and how to gently reclaim yourself.

The Detachment Myth

You’ve probably heard it before—just detach, they say. Don’t care so much. But let’s be real for a second. Completely detaching doesn’t work. Not for me, not for you, not for anyone who genuinely cares. When you shut yourself off and detach, you end up feeling empty and disconnected, like you’re just going through the motions. No one wants that.

What we need is balance, not an all-or-nothing approach. Think of it like holding a balloon on a string. If you grip it too tight, it might burst. But if you let go completely, it floats away. The trick is finding that middle ground—being invested, but not so attached that you lose yourself in the process. You’re allowed to care deeply and still keep a hold on your own peace. This is where the magic happens: when you’re engaged without burning out, passionate without being consumed.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries

Let’s talk about boundaries. I know, it sounds serious, but it’s really about being honest with yourself about what you can handle. Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s self-preservation. It’s about knowing your limits and respecting them. And guess what? When you say “no” to something that overwhelms you, you’re actually saying “yes” to your peace. No guilt, no apologies.

Healthy boundaries don’t just help you; they actually make things better for everyone around you. When you’re clear about what you can and can’t take on, people know where you stand. And trust me, that clarity can be a game-changer. Studies even show that when we blur the lines between work and personal life, it leads to more emotional exhaustion. But when we establish boundaries and live a healthier lifestyle, it softens that impact. Isn’t it empowering to know that a simple “no” can protect your well-being?

Maintaining Your Personal Identity

Now, let’s talk about you. When was the last time you did something just for yourself? When we’re constantly wearing different hats—caretaker, professional, partner, friend—it’s easy to forget that there’s a whole person underneath. You’re not just defined by what you do for others; you have your own dreams, quirks, and passions. They deserve space, too.

Take a moment to think about what makes you feel alive. Is it painting, dancing, reading, or taking a quiet walk? Whatever it is, make time for it. Even if it’s just 15 minutes to sip your coffee in peace, those moments matter. They’re what recharge you, remind you who you are, and keep you grounded. You deserve that time to be just you—not someone’s caretaker, not the problem-solver—just you. Those small moments of joy? Hold onto them tightly. They’re yours, and they matter.

Nurturing Passion Without Attachment

Here’s the thing—being passionate doesn’t have to mean being consumed. Imagine putting your energy into a project, a relationship, or even a goal and focusing on the experience itself, rather than the outcome. It’s like savoring a meal instead of rushing to the end. When you shift your mindset like this, you free yourself from perfectionism and constant pressure. You’re not letting go of care; you’re letting go of the idea that everything has to be perfect.

This doesn’t mean you care less. In fact, it can mean you care more—about the right things. You can put your heart into something without being crushed if it doesn’t go exactly as planned. This kind of balanced passion lets you stay true to yourself and maintain your well-being. Dive in, but leave room to breathe. Love deeply, but don’t lose yourself. That’s where the real magic happens.

Trusting and Letting Go

Let’s be honest—trusting others and the process can feel scary. Letting go of control is hard, especially when you care so much. But holding on too tight? It’s exhausting. It’s like gripping sand in your hand—the tighter you hold, the more slips away. Trusting means loosening that grip just enough. It’s about believing in yourself and others, and knowing that things will unfold as they’re meant to.

And guess what? You don’t have to carry every burden alone. Letting others step in can actually strengthen your relationships and ease your load. You deserve that peace. Trust more, stress less. Caring deeply doesn’t mean you have to carry it all. You can let go without detaching, and you can love without losing yourself. You deserve to feel light, free, and at peace.

Last Thoughts...

If you find yourself overwhelmed by these patterns or struggling to let go of the role of the rescuer, consider reaching out for intensive EMDR sessions. It can help you explore and heal these deeply rooted beliefs, making it easier to say no without guilt and honor your own needs. You deserve that freedom. You deserve to care without carrying the weight of the world.

With love and light,

Jamie Vollmoeller LCSW, CCTP